


Underneath My Clothes

by US1775



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 (TV) RPF, The 100 Series - Kass Morgan, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anya & Lexa (The 100) Are Siblings, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Commander Lexa, Dapper Lexa, Doctor Clarke, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, F/M, Fine Stud Lexa, Heda Lexa, Lexa Lives, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Princess Clarke, Protective Lexa, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2018-12-04 07:32:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 104,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11550462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/US1775/pseuds/US1775
Summary: Lexa is a Cop with integrity and a command presence unlike any other in the department.  Clarke is a doctor that hates cops who abuse their authority.  This is a story about what they experience along their journey to better understand each other and their growing feelings for one another.Tumblr: retinalense51515fps





	1. Trigger Happy

Any other shift on any other day, this particular duty would’ve been a walk in the park. Lexa had been at this job for 10 years already and she welcomed a night in the hospital “babysitting” an injured subject. She always came prepared with book, laptop and smart phone in hand. But tonight was different. Tonight she nervously bit her lip and tried to remain calm just to be sure she didn’t have an anxiety attack as she paced the linoleum floor in the tiny ICU room. The beeping of monitors and the sound of the subject’s labored breathing under an oxygen mask made her want to punch holes in the wall the longer she had to endure it.

 

Lexa was grateful at least that she had her most trusted officer there with her. Gustus Black was not only her partner but also one of her closest friends. A brother really. There was not one thing she was not willing to do for him and he for her. He had told her as much on many a drunken night they shared after hours. Drunken for him, not so much for Lexa. She knew better than to mix alcohol with the already fractured cracks in her brain. It was just asking for trouble.

 

When they took the hospital duty only an hour into their 10-hour shift, Gus (as Lexa called him) had known that his partner was distraught. He knew she wouldn’t fully admit to it or even let on to what extent her distress was effecting her so he did what he did best and what he always did when these occasions popped up during the performance of their duties during the 5 years they’ve been partners. He filled the silence with laughter. He soothed with jokes and juvenile banter or a cute story about his two kids on the whole drive over to the hospital.

 

They had also discussed the series of events that had led to this young Hispanic man becoming just another police shooting victim. Lexa could tell that Gus was just as stressed and frustrated as she was.

 

“It was the rookie Murphy. Of course it was.” Gus growled in the passenger seat.

“We were just talking about his fucking ignorant ass the other day! You told me yourself Heda!” Gus exclaimed.

 

Lexa nodded her head agreeing. Gus could see the vein in her neck and the sharp tension in her jaw line. He knew she was trying her best to keep it together. Little did he know that Lexa wanted to punch the steering wheel repeatedly. It wasn’t just the image they had to uphold as officers but innocent young men were dying! How was the public supposed to trust them at all?

 

Lexa was finding it harder and harder to have pride in wearing her uniform. She was conflicted everyday. As a Marine, she had a job to defend and protect her country in every capacity. There was no gray area. It was either that she did her job to the one-hundredth degree or she didn’t.

 

Ever since she left the police academy she knew things were different. Politics were what ruled in the police department. Integrity was important but if you went against one of your own to keep your integrity every one was bound to turn against you.

 

 Lexa had been tasked to be Murphy’s training officer but after one full shift she knew she had to meet with her Captain.

 

“Cap, you know me. I am never in here bitching and moaning about any assignment I’m dealt. I hate to even cross this threshold but Murphy is not cut out for this job and if you insist on having him go through the training program anyway then I can’t be the one to train him.”

 

Captain Indra had been her training officer years ago so Lexa knew that she would not only be assigned the rookies that showed the most promise but also the hardest cases and Indra respected her opinion. There had been 15 officers she had trained in her 10 years. Some even two at a time. The Captain might have received a lot of flack for passing most of the recruits over to Lexa but she dealt with it without complaint because she knew that they were being trained correctly.

 

Lexa had a quality to teaching young recruits that was unmatched and deeply effective. She would read them in one day and know exactly how she had to approach them while guiding them and teaching them. Every last rookie she trained held her in the highest regard. Even when she had just come off the training program herself and Indra had been given her raise and earned her position as the Captain of the their station, she had faith that she would uphold the law and do so as well when teaching those who decided to take the oath to become a police officer. Lexa looked terrified and pale when Indra told her she would be training her first rookie even though she had just entered onto full duty herself. But once Lexa was faced with a challenge she ALWAYS met it. The pressure and stress and fear were swallowed and the mission was accomplished.

 

“Tell me why my Heda. Tell me why Murphy isn’t fit to wear the uniform and I’ll judge for myself.”

 

Lexa walked over to the chair in front of Indra’s large desk and sat down with a huge sigh. She rubbed her eyes and took her note pad out of her breast pocket and began to list off the reasons.

 

“Driving recklessly. Endangering the public while doing so!” Lexa looked up as she read the sentence.

 

“Cap, this fucking idiot almost mowed a kid down at a cross walk because he couldn’t wait a few seconds to answer a call when the kid was crossing the street with his mother! When I asked him why the fuck he couldn’t wait he said that he was the law and they all had to either move or risk getting hit. I swear this was the same answer he gave me all day Cap. It just varied with the different circumstances in which he fucked up!”

 

Indra stood with her hands behind her back as she motioned for Lexa to continue. Lexa expected more of a reaction out of her captain but she ignored the feeling of slight panic because she knew Indra would soon see her reasoning and agree.

 

“I swear, throughout the entire shift he was acting like the second coming of Zimmerman rent a cop. Demanding to cut a line at the fucking coffee shop and then loudly demanding that his coffee be on the house. The entire café heard him Cap. Then he hit on a driver that we pulled over for a broken taillight claiming that he would ignore the infraction if she would let him take her on a date. But that’s not even the worst part.”

 

Lexa sighed and put her notepad back into her breast pocket. Her throat bobbed up and down as she swallowed. She looked up at Indra and made eye contact. She pinned her Captain with the most serious stare she could muster. She needed to not only convince her that she couldn’t train Murphy but that Murphy couldn’t be a cop at all. Murphy was the type of person they needed to weed out before they even had a chance to really do some damage.

 

“He’s a trigger lover Captain. Obsessed with the idea of shooting and possibly killing. Thinks he’s billy the kid or something.” Lexa replied stonily swallowing down her nerves and disgust once again. When the captain remained silent she continued.

 

“He saw some hispanic and black kids on a curb while we were stopped at a red on the corner of Polk and the 56…. I think they were walking to an Astros game…you know how crowded the cross walks get on game days….he just offhandedly asked me if I thought he could shoot them all in one go. If his trigger finger and aim were good enough. As if that weren’t already enough of a red flag, Cap, he pulled his fucking weapon out of his holster at that homeless guy. You know the one. Mr. B. The old man that I help out sometimes. The one we all help out!” Lexa practically yelled as she shot out of her chair and rubbed at her temples.

 

Indra was very concerned but she had to know the whole story.

 

“Heda…Lexa, tell me exactly what happened.” Indra instructed very seriously catching the eyes of her young sergeant.

 

“Mr. B was confused. Murphy told him to pick his whole tent up and his can statue and move on. He was in his usual place Cap. He wasn’t panhandling or bothering anyone. Just sitting there. I took Murphy by there to show him who we could rely on in the area for a good reference about what the word on the street was or even a reliable witness. But before I could say anything Murphy was already being the brainless fucking sociopathic dick he had been all day! When Mr. B didn’t move right away Murphy took his fucking weapon out!”

“Lexa! Ok, ok calm down. I agree this is serious but you know I can’t just fire him on the spot. There is a process with the union and he has to have at least one or two serious infractions that result in actual wrongdoing. Thanks to you that was prevented today. I will reassign him but he will wear the uniform unfortunately until he meets the requirements for immediate termination or an investigation that takes him off the streets temporarily.”

 

That day she HAD had drinks with Gus after her shift.

 

And now here they were, she and Gus, the Commander and her right hand man, headed to the hospital to put on a diplomatic face and try to stay calm when there was a storm raging inside the both of them.

 

Lexa dismissed Gus almost immediately to take a break once they got settled in and the relieving officers relayed all the information that was required.

 

She told Gus To get a cup of coffee and hit the head. Make a quick phone call to his wife to let her know that things were just fine. That he was in one piece. Lexa had insisted that he take a 10 or 15 minute break first and she would follow once he returned and now she regretted it. Her partner had only been gone a few minutes but it had proved to be a few minutes too long for the young disturbed sergeant

 

She couldn’t get the image of Murphy’s cold empty eyes out of her head.

 

Lexa, like many of her colleagues (including her partner) had mixed feelings about these widely covered and very tragic situations. They had had their fair share of incidents involving members of the community that were just angry and plain fed up with the numerous young men that were falling victim at the hands of women and men in uniform. Not just in their melting pot of a metropolis as big as Houston, Texas but all over the United States. Lexa didn’t like to discuss her views on this matter with anyone. Politics and religion were two topics she simply refused to discuss and this topic for her fell under politics.

 

Indra had sent them to the hospital with a firm warning and orders not to speak to the media or to the public about any of the details surrounding the case. The case was currently under investigation and any discussion would compromise whatever evidence or potential witnesses they were currently gathering.

 

Lexa had always been the first choice when dealing with delicate matters. She had years of experience dealing with very sticky situations. Her demeanor always calm, collected and in control. She was a senior officer and knew how to talk to the community to diffuse very high stress situations.

 

She kept her opinions to herself and she would never admit anything to her supervisor or to any person that was outside her inner circle but she sympathized deeply with these types of victims and these types of cases. It was plain wrong for anyone in uniform to abuse their authority in any way. She was chosen mostly for her ability to handle pressure and remain diplomatic and stoic. The perfect representative for the Houston Police Department.

 

But once they had arrived in the ICU room and she observed the young man sunken into the hard lumpy hospital mattress her emotions seemed to be winning over her calm demeanor. He looked so broken and so small, clinging desperately to his young life that Lexa couldn’t help but feel outrage and sorrow for him and his family.

 

Lexa dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands and took another deep breath trying to get control of her emotions. Her green eyes full of sorrow and her throat thick with grief. She heard commotion down the hall quickly moving toward her. Any raised voice would be considered too loud for a too quiet ICU room and these two voices were growing louder by the second as Lexa stood there trying to decipher what the two scrambling voices were arguing about.

 

It was a woman’s voice. A woman’s angry voice and the unmistakable nervous bumbling voice of her partner.

 

Lexa had always been able to pick his voice out of the radio chatter even if he was being a huge goofball and impersonating Rodney Dangerfield or Bernie Mac or his favorite impersonation of Crush from Finding Nemo. The massive size of her partner was what made things so much more comical when he would joke. Gus stood at 6 foot 5 and his python arms were riddled with impressive tribal tattoos from his shoulders down to his forearms. She was a bit shocked when she heard the nervousness in his voice down the hall.

 

            Lexa squinted her eyes, her brow furrowed in confusion. The stressful situation momentarily forgotten as she wondered what could possibly be coming her way. She had learned long ago that this job came with experiences that more often than not could not be explained and so she tried her best to just roll with it and adapt as quickly as she could to whatever situation presented itself.

 

A few seconds later, a woman aggressively came sweeping into the room. Eyes wide and alight with a raging fire looking for a responsible party for her to aim her anger and outrage.

 

Lexa was taken aback. Her breath and words immediately lodged in her throat. Her knees slightly bent in that automatic defensive reaction she learned so many years ago in Marine Corps basic training. It was instinct now. Muscle memory. But the Marines hadn’t taught Lexa how to ignore the seizing of her heart. The mind of a warrior was toughened by training and hardened by war but matters of the heart were never factored in and the stuttering flutter of her heart beat as it tripped to catch up to the chemical reactions of her body. The young sergeants body was beginning to react to a whole new kind of panic and she had been ready for anything but this.

 

The woman that had entered the room was a work of art. Breathtaking really, since Lexa couldn’t seem to catch hers. Someone that Lexa could sit across from and be content to just admire.

 

The gentle curve of her soft pink lips. A small beauty mark above said lips just off to the left. The perfection in the subtle slope of her brow. The porcelain quality of her gorgeous skin. The bridge of her nose petite and graceful sloping gently down into the perfectly sized peek of her slightly and adorably pointy little nose. The irresistible divot in the center of her chin. And as if that weren’t enough, the shock of lightning blue in her eyes contrasting against the natural platinum color of her lusciously flowing hair had Lexa swallowing hard against a huge dry lump in her throat.

 

_WOAH_

 

            “Are you Sergeant Woods?!!” The woman asked or rather accused, entering Lexa’s personal space almost touching the point of her gorgeously petite nose with Lexa’s sweat covered nose.

 

Lexa was able to register a breathtaking cerulean ocean storming behind the woman’s pupils and the feeling of her starchy white doctor smock against the backs of her hands that were resting atop her gun belt before she quickly scanned behind her and caught sight of her bewildered partner.

 

Gus’ eyes were as wide as saucers and his mouth was half open in surprise. Gus blocked the entire entrance to the only side of the glass door that was open at the moment. His hulking presence should’ve looked dangerous and intimidating but his expression was so comical he might as well have been a scrawny pre pubescent teenager. Lexa would’ve found this hilarious if it had been any other time but right now she had to deal with what was right in front of her. She swallowed and backed up a step to try and gain her bearings.

 

            “Well? Do you speak English or do you prefer French, German, Italian? I speak a little Arabic!” The woman blurted angrily flailing her arms in the small space between their bodies.

 

            “Y-yes…I am L…Lexa…Woods…Sergeant Woods maam. Can we please take it down a n..notch and try to calm down before we speak and straighten out whatever problem we are having?”

 

Lexa’s voice sounded small and thin. Nothing like the Sergeant that her colleagues jokingly referred to as the commander/heda. Her partner grew more and more shocked by the second. He had also never heard his partner knocked so far back on her heels or even this surprised.

 

The woman’s laugh was dry and sarcastic and she shook her head and looked the Sergeant up and down as if sizing her up. Something about being observed in this manner and the sound of the woman’s raspy laugh and dangerous flashing eyes sent a chill up Lexa’s spine.

 

_OK MAYBE NOT WOAH…._

 

When the woman spoke again her voice was more controlled but Lexa could see that she had glanced over at her patient before speaking as if she was more concerned about being too loud and disturbing the patient than calming down for the police sergeant standing in front of her.

 

“I’d say we have a huge problem Sergeant.” The woman seethed. She took a quick glance behind her to look at Gus and then back at Lexa.

 

“All you cops are the same. You put a young kid in the hospital for no reason and then you assert your dominance and superiority by guarding his weak unconscious body as if he’s gonna get up and run rampant throughout the whole fucking hospital. And on top of it all, there has to always be TWO of you in a tiny ICU room with all your fucking gear just taking up even more space. This guy…”

 

The woman jerked a thumb toward Gus never breaking eye contact with Lexa.

 

“He’s big enough as it is. I’m not even sure how you’re able to both fit in here at the same time but you’ve managed to do it. Anything just to make your presence known. A presence I might add once again that is totally unnecessary! You may not have shot this one but how many do you have under your belt sergeant? You guys keep a running tab somewhere? Tally each shot taken and give out a prize to the high shooter? How many innocents do you have under your belt sergeant?!”

The woman cried in outrage and frustration as she aggressively tapped down on the front of Lexa’s leather gun belt with her fingertips.

 

_OK DEFINITELY NOT WOAH….MORE LIKE….UH NO_

 

Lexa was equal parts outraged and saddened. She sputtered at the accusation her eyes wide and disbelieving. Lexa cleared her throat and swallowed finally finding a fraction of her command presence.

 

“Perhaps maam, we should step outside to discuss these matters. It is unprofessional and inappropriate to do this in here and also to accuse someone of something so inhumane. Someone I might add, that has dedicated her life to the service and saving lives.”

 

“You guys have a real fucking shitty way of showing it Sergeant.” The women spit out as she turned on her heal and stormed out of the small room in the same manner that she had entered.

 

Gus moved out of the way just in time to avoid colliding with the striking blonde as she made her way out leaving destruction in her path like a twister on a rampage.

 

Lexa knew she should follow but she was cemented to the floor. Her knees felt weak and her partner’s mouth should’ve probably been attracting flies by now since he had failed to close it throughout the whole exchange. It only took a few seconds for Lexa to finally spring into action but it was long enough for the woman to peek her head through the doorway, wavy platinum locks swaying back and forth like a hypnotists pocket watch and seething through gritted teeth

 

“Well? Are we gonna do this or not?”

 

Lexa stumbled forward quickly following the woman and tapping the underside of her partners chin as she walked by.

 

The lights in the hallway and down long corridors were bright and they irritated the sergeant’s eyes which had adjusted themselves to the dark or dimmed settings that the night shift usually automatically changed to once the sun went down and the rest of the world was on the “after hours” setting.

 

Lexa lost count how may different hallways they were walking down and began to think that she might not be able to find her way back to ICU without help once they were done talking. Just when Lexa thought their trek would never end the woman took a scan card out of her front pocket and scanned herself into a door labeled “AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY”

 

Upon entering the room Lexa noticed a few plush chairs and a few bunk beds all unoccupied. There was another room adjacent to the main room, which the woman immediately walked into turning on the lights as she went. There was a small round table, a refrigerator and a snack machine. The woman sat at the table running a hand through her rich locks seemingly in frustration or distress.

 

 _Welcome to the party_ , Lexa thought.

 

“Maam, I’m I …I…if there is a problem with our gear….” Lexa couldn’t believe what was happening to her.

 

“Would you…”

 

Lexa looked around frantically for a few moments looking for a source of water.

 

“Would you just…please excuse me for a…s second?” The closed door and size of the room and the feeling of distrust and hate emanating off the woman in front of Lexa had triggered all the wrong feelings in the young sergeant.

 

The two anti anxiety pills in her breast pocket that she kept there in case of emergency immediately came to mind. The woman sitting across from her looked at her curiously and scoffed quietly but otherwise didn’t voice any kind of objection.

 

Lexa walked over to the water fountain in the corner of the room quickly as she ripped open her breast pocket to snatch the small plastic bag with two pills sealed inside. She knocked the pills to the back of her throat and quickly downed three large gulps of water to wash them down. A full 8 oz glass of water would’ve been better but Lexa wasn’t planning on being in this room for very long. She would have more to drink once she was out of there.

 

She stood straight and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. When she opened them she felt a little more in control and a little more upset about the accusation this woman had thrown at her. She didn’t care how breathtaking this woman was. She was out of line.

 

Lexa turned and rested her hands on the top of her gun belt as she walked back over to the table the woman sat at, posture perfect in the way only a Marine could truly pull off. A warrior. Her command presence was slowly returning. She had been caught off guard and that was the only reason she hadn’t really had control of the situation when the woman first approached her spitting insults and accusations. At least, that’s what Lexa told herself.

 

“First of all…my name is Sgt Lexa Woods of the Houston Police department. I am the senior officer on duty and I assume you are Mr. Camacho’s doctor?”

 

The woman looked up at Lexa once more and furrowed her brow giving off an irritated huff as she stood to address the Sgt.

 

“You assume correctly Sgt. I was left in charge by the head of ICU and Mr. Camacho’s life is in my hands. He is touch and go right now! If he survives the night he will need surgery and agonizing hours of breathing treatments among other equally painful treatments before his collapsed lung will be fully functional again! I mean, you call this saving lives? Are you all homicidal at the PD or is this just a mild case since he wasn’t DOA?!”

 

“Ok…Doctor….”

 

“Griffin…Clarke Griffin” The woman replied through gritted teach crossing her arms over her chest sending out a clear signal that she had no intention of shaking the Sgts hand for a formal introduction.

 

“Dr. Griffin, first of all, internal affairs will have an entire panel that will be investigating the events that occurred tonight and they will determine who should be dealt the blame in this situation. I am here just to do my job as a police escort. Any other discussion surrounding this incident is to be kept confidential. I guess I was mistaken to assume that as a doctor, you would be well scripted and knowledgeable when it came to these matters. It is unprofessional and against the law to discuss the details of a subject’s, or in your case a patients condition, personal information or any details surrounding such matters. Which also means that if certain specific details about this case end up on social media, I’ll have a good idea what name to suggest to IA to investigate next. With that being said, if our gear is in the way, we have no problem sitting just outside the room right at the entrance. Still out of your way but we are not going to abandon our post. We are here for your protection and for Mr. Camacho’s as well and my partner and I take our jobs very seriously.”

Lexa saw Clarke’s eyebrows rise up to her hairline and a sarcastic smirk form onto her lips and she knew she was about to get the shit end of the smart-ass comment stick. She cursed herself for giving the young doctor an opening.

 

“Oh so you break them and then protect them while we scramble to fix them…us. Because God help me I am part of this community too. I hope I never have a run in with any of you!”

 

“Trust me Doctor Griffin, as soon as I leave here I will be praying to the tiny 6 lb baby Jesus that I won’t have a run in with you in the future either.” Lexa snapped right back.

 

“As for my duty tonight, Officer Black and myself will stay out of your way and do our jobs. I only expect the same from another professional. Nice meeting you Dr. Griffin. You have a good night.”

 

Lexa kept her tone firm and even. Her arms never leaving her gun belt. Her posture perfect but relaxed. Throughout her speech, she watched Dr. Griffin’s expression go from agitated to slightly shocked to outright sputtering with anger. Her nostrils slightly flaring and a light pink tint covering her cheeks.

 

Lexa turned on her heel and began making her way toward the door they both walked in through. She took her time not bothering to hurry in the slightest. She didn’t want the young doctor to think for a second that she was afraid of more confrontation. She was back on solid ground and felt good about gaining her footing.

 

As she put her hand on the door, Dr. Griffin spoke again.

 

“You can hit me with all the legal jargon and ‘officer presence’ you want Woods. Don’t think you are the first cop I have had to put in their place and you definitely wont be the last. The fact remains that it is also against the law to commit aggravated assault with a deadly weapon….or attempt murder. Although I’m not sure what your track record is. Maybe attempt is too mild a term. I’m sure you’ve succeeded at least a few times. Senior officer and all.”

 

The woman’s voice was overflowing with rage barely kept under wraps. Her thick voice was slightly shaky but low in tone and just plain dangerous.

 

This was the second time in the span of the last half hour that Lexa had been accused of something so severe, so outrageous, so lacking in integrity, morality and compassion that she had had about enough. The last thought to leave her mind before turning around once again to speak was that she would put the young doctor in her place but she WOULD NOT lose her bearings again. The last thing she wanted was for the woman to think she got the best of her.

 

“What is it with you Griffin? You watch videos and news clips of idiot cops around the country getting trigger happy and killing innocent people and you think we are all the same? Leading ‘fuck the police’ protest rallies around the city? You don’t know ANYTHING about me.”

 

Lexa spit gritting her teeth. Up until this statement she had complete control of her emotions but she was beginning to feel like she might allow the anger seething under the surface to rear its ugly face. Reigning in the adrenaline pumping through her veins she was able to maintain control of her tone of voice and level of volume when speaking by the skin of her teeth.

 

“I don’t have to further prove myself to you or anyone else. I do that everyday just by putting on this uniform and walking the streets and doing my job maintaining the utmost integrity. Hate me, spit on me or dismiss my position of authority all you want but at the end of the day I am willing to put my life on the line to prevent any harm from befalling you. Even after you have shown me nothing but disrespect and outright hate from the moment you laid eyes on me. Can you say that you would do the same for any stranger? For me?! Have a good night Dr. Griffin.”

 

Lexa opened the door and by some miracle made it back to the ICU by following the signs in the hallways.

 

As soon as the young police officer disappeared behind the closed door the young doctor exhaled closing her eyes and rubbing her face with both hands. She leaned against the doorjamb of the open door and silently cursed herself for going too far. She felt remorse for her harsh words and sadness at the whole situation.

 

“What are you doing Clarke?” She asked herself growling lightly and scolding herself. The last thing she wanted to do was apologize or make a mends with the officer but she knew some form of these actions was going to have to take place anyway thanks to allowing her stupid mouth to run off with her emotions.

 

 **************************************

Gus was sitting beside Mr. Camacho’s bed lost in thought with a glassy quality to his eyes when Lexa came walking in with a bulging vein pulsing in her neck from the anger she was barely able to contain.

 

One look at his partner and Gus knew he needed to try to work some magic. He decided to go over the top right away just to break through that tension barrier.

 

“We have to move our shit out of here and stand watch outside Gus.” Lexa said as she entered the room. Her words were clipped and drenched in borderline hysteria.

 

“Hey, remember when my wife got real drunk and practically assaulted you in the back seat of our car after that Christmas party? Just jumped right over the fucking seat! I bet she would’ve succeeded too if I weren’t there to peel her off!” Gus exclaimed laughing and shaking his head.

 

Lexa didn’t reply. She began to pace back and forth near the chair at the opposite end of the small room. Gus was surprised this didn’t at least garner a scoff or a roll of the eyes from his partner. The incident with his wife had always made Lexa blush and sputter whenever he joked about it. So he tried again.

 

“Trouble in paradise? Having issues planning the wedding already? What is it that has her panties in a twist this time? The flowers or the in-laws?”

 

Lexa jerked her head back to look at her partner, green eyes wide and blazing in surprise, outrage and a small hint of amusement.

 

Gus looked past all of it and when he saw the amusement he internally sighed with relief. He had once again managed to break through.

 

“Dude…don’t….I mean….married? She’d have to remove the stick from her ass first to have a decent conversation. Then maybe get laid to loosen up a little before marriage even comes into the picture if at all.” Lexa said rolling her eyes and unceremoniously falling into the chair opposite her partner.

 

Gus had seen his partner get worked up plenty of times before but this woman had really done a number on her. He had no idea what their conversation consisted of but judging from the strained look on Lexas face and the tone in her voice it couldn’t have gone well.

 

Still, the statement from his small spitfire of a partner had him laughing. He had a feeling that this was way more than just a simple run in with hostile hospital staff but he kept it buttoned up for the time being until he could gather more evidence.

 

“Hey uh…so boss….I really didn’t want to call you out on this but what in tha blue fuck was that display when she first came storming in here? She took the COMMAND right out of your famous COMMANDER persona and just left you with the DER. Literally….she left you saying… ‘DDEEERRRRR’”

 

The hulking police officer jeered laughing at the memory of the expression on his partners face.

 

Lexa opened her eyes and looked over at her partner with a dangerous steel glint in her eyes.

 

“Oh and you were so much better right? Drooling so hard, mouth wide open I almost slipped on your fucking drool when I went scrambling by you to chase her fucking annoyingly perfect little face and those fucking gorgeous angry dark blues.” Lexa gritted out.

 

Gus’ eyes widened the way they always did when he found a piece of evidence that perfectly fit the jigsaw puzzle of cases they built for themselves over the years and Lexa knew she’d been caught. She closed her eyes and brought her head down into her hands waiting for Gus to begin teasing her relentlessly. He didn’t disappoint but it still wasn’t what Lexa expected.

 

Lexa had worked with men her entire professional life. From the Marine Corps straight into the police department and she was used to the most disgusting and lack of political correctness, sexism and male chauvinism that had ever been heard and worse.

 

She never stayed quiet when men around her crossed the line but she always answered their language and disgusting comments with an insult that went straight for the jugular. Lexa’s quick quips and visceral cut downs were always delivered with an air of indifference and calm coolness that made her colleagues bristle with intimidation or anger. It could be argued that because she hit below the belt so much that it got personal which gave the men a reason to dislike her but Lexa knew the truth. In most circumstances, the men she worked side by side with just loathed being embarrassed by a woman. Especially in front of an audience.

 

Lexa kept it light as much as possible due to this fact, laughing and self deprecating at key moments to remind all those within ear shot that she wouldn’t stand for their bullshit but it was also meant to make everyone laugh. Just a joke. Why should she care about the ego and feelings of some of the cavemen she worked with? Well at the end of the day she had to work with these men and she had to keep a modicum of professionalism instead of creating a hostile work environment. Lexa had spent enough time with men to figure out a proper balance between cracking her whip with passion to teach a lesson and blending in to create a sense of mellow indifference.

 

Either way she treated it all the same. If they wanted to disrespect women or the LGBTQIA community or minorities or any other group of individuals she was going to embarrass them. It wasn’t a threat. It was a promise.

 

Thus the nickname the Commander came into existence. Lexa didn’t care much whether her colleagues used the nickname as a form of respect or disrespect. She felt that such inquiries weren’t worth wasting her time worrying or wondering about it. But deep down she had to admit that she was flattered that she had gained some kind of reputation whether it was one of infamy or notoriety.

 

And one of these objectifying responses is what she expected from Gus when he began to tease her but he surprised her, for a while at least.

 

“I knew there was a tension other than anger underneath that whole power struggle between the two of you when you were so close to her face that I thought you were gonna shove your tongue right into her mouth. Which probably explains the drool Commander. Forgive me.” Gus said quietly finishing his sentence in a dramatically overdone tone of remorse.

 

Lexa looked up at him again with defeat in her eyes. She wanted him to get his teasing over with so she could move on to telling him what the gorgeous asshole accused her of when they were behind closed doors. She played along.

 

“You’re forgiven but your punishment will be severe Gustus.” Lexa delivered in her best monotone voice. Eyes sharp, neck straight and features stoic in a perfect aura of regal power.

 

This was something she and her partner would do to joke and keep up their morale on long draining days. It was something that brought levity and solidified their bond of friendship. It was something only she and Gus shared.

 

“I understand Heda. I will receive whatever punishment you pass down. Until then, do I have permission to speak candidly?”

 

“As many years as you have served by my side faithfully Gustus, I know better than to deny you the opportunity to speak. You will give me your opinion anyway. Is that not the truth?”

 

“Still, I prefer to have my Heda’s permission.” Gus said averting his eyes to the floor in mock submissiveness.

 

Lexa always found it difficult to keep from laughing during their impromptu skits because the mere image and appearance of a huge hulk like Gustus being so submissive or intimidated by someone as small as herself even if she knew what she was capable of, was pretty comical. She remained impassive though.

 

“You have permission Gustus. Speak freely.”

 

“The princess with eyes the color of the sky has a shapely frame engineered perfectly for bearing children my Heda. Would it not be smart to claim her before other less deserving warriors are snarling and skulking at her feet for a chance to mark their territory? It could mean a strong union between our clan who deal in lead and her clan with golden locks and hands of magic capable of fixing any injury or ailment? This could mean a strong future for your stock Heda and help solidify your legendary rule as the strongest and most diplomatic Commander of the 12 clans. She could bring you much…..pleasure, no?”

 

“If by pleasure you mean causing a very unpleasant ache to seize my brain from pigheadedness then you are correct in your assumptions Gustus. As for the shapely frame you speak of that is engineered for child bearing, I did not consider nor did I notice.”

 

Gus scoffed quietly at her rolling his eyes. Lexa stood at her full height, hands clasped behind her back and gave him a dangerous scowl. Gus swallowed his retort quickly and remained quiet.

 

“A woman’s soul can be revealed with one flash into her captivating and dangerous cerulean gaze. Her heart can be revealed in one sweep of her well-maintained and manicured fingertips. I had more important matters to focus on other than the sky Princess’ shapely figure.”

 

“Nonsense!”

Gus’ voice interrupted her.

 

She looked over at him to gauge whether he was going to drag this out longer or just end it with his sudden interruption. He was as serious and passionate as he got when he was trying to out do her during a skit. She decided to let him run with it. She already knew what her response would be to end his rant no matter what the rant was.

 

“YOU are Heda. Commander of the 12 clans. You lead with unmatched and unquestionable supremacy. You are the unique factor in this equation my Heda. Why do you elevate the sky princess in such a way? She is just another woman who was born and raised to bare children and she can be an excellent vessel for Heda’s royal embryos.”

 

Lexa was more disgusted than she was amused but she felt even better about her response now that Gus defaulted to his ignorant caveman rant.

 

“Clarke elevates herself.” Lexa replied quietly as she stood stoic still with her hands clasped behind her and her back facing her partner. The use of the doctor’s first name when she had only just learned it less than an hour ago should’ve sounded awkward and foreign on her tongue but it didn’t.

 

As Lexa felt her stomach turn at the memory of the look of disgust on Clarke’s face and the horrible words being spit from her mouth she still couldn’t deny the underlying respect she had for a woman so young to have accomplished so much even if she was just the resident on call. Lexa was intelligent and observant. What she hadn’t learned in school or from books she learned in her many years of experiencing the very worst and very best things that life had to offer. She knew Clarke had to be one of the most if not the most promising young doctors in the hospital. Having charge of an ICU over night without a head physician there was enough to clue her in on that. Even more so that Clarke was responsible for getting Mr. Camacho to a stable status without the help of a head surgeon. Very impressive indeed.

 

_NOW IF SHE WASN’T SUCH A DICK…._

 

Lexa didn’t wait to question how she could even have any respect at all for someone that judged her before she even knew her full name so instead she began to deliver her closing argument or rather her closing threats.

“You should take great care in making that the last time you set your sights on the young Clarke Griffin…” Lexa growled low in her throat as she turned her head just enough to throw her most vicious side eye to her partner.

 

She saw him avert his eyes to the floor again and she turned to face him.

 

“…Lest I gouge your eyes out with a pig sticker and curse you to roam around the rest of your days with the memory of her gorgeous features haunting your every waking moment.” Lexa gritted out dangerously glancing at her partner, as she loomed standing over his hulking sitting position.

 

“Of course Heda, as you wish.” Gus immediately replied eyes still down cast.

 

“You are a male chauvinistic pig Gustus.”

 

She saw her partner look up at her again and this time he WAS smiling. She saw that he was also holding back a huge guffaw so she played it up even more knowing she couldn’t really win unless he laughed and broke the façade.

 

Before she spoke again she saw her partner’s smile turn into a worried expression. She assumed it was there to play along with whatever she was about to say next so she lifted her chin away and the right to set her hard gaze at the opposite wall in her best act of indifference and power. When she spoke she made sure her voice had the right amount of grit to it to deliver her best fear-provoking act.

 

“If you weren’t my fiercest and most loyal warrior I would have you castrated to prevent our world from further infection. And the ‘sky princess’ as you call her is ….very irritating I have to admit but she is anything but ordinary. And though she has made my head ache in the most aggravating way, an insult to her is an insult to your commander. You seem very insistent on trying my patience today Gustus.” Lexa remarked as she turned to look at her partner once again ready to laugh.

 

His wide eyes and dark blush were telling enough and Lexa felt her stomach drop to her knees when she heard a slow clapping and a soft giggle coming from the door.

 

_Fuck_

When she chanced a glance to her left she saw the ‘sky princess’ in question with her eyes bright with amusement and the most breath taking smile Lexa has ever seen as she clapped and laughed. The male nurse that stood next to her was covering his smile and Lexa was mildly amused to find that it was his giggle that she had heard.

 

“Wow, sounds like you two were rehearsing for Broadway. I have to admit that I am thoroughly impressed. It seems like I really have misjudged you _Commander.”_

Lexa hated to admit the effect that this beautiful doctor had on her so she just completely ignored the doctor’s presence and sat in her chair. Gus was too embarrassed however to follow his senior officer’s example.

 

“Come on Gus, lets get out of Dr. Griffin’s way.” Lexa grated out of clenched teeth as she hoisted her duffle full of gear and made her way out the door careful not to come into any contact with Clarke, which wasn’t an easy task due to the very small room.

 

“H How much of that did you hear?” Gus asked in the most comically squeaky voice Lexa had ever heard him use. She looked over her shoulder at him shocked and all of a sudden the tension in the room completely left as Lexa began laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

 

She heard Clarke laugh softly and say, “Oh enough to be entertained for the rest of the time you two are going to be assigned to this case.”

 

With that Lexa exited the room leaving the doctor and nurse to do their job. Lexa saw the look on Clarke’s face as she walked by her. She saw remorse and apprehension. She also sensed that the doctor wanted to say something to her but Lexa wasn’t going to give her that chance. She had finally been able to laugh and ease the tension at least for a while. No use in inviting more tension in. And the blonde not only brought tension from the second she stormed into her life but she also brought feelings that Lexa was not used to addressing or even labeling since she had been burned so many years ago.

 

_NOPE I AM DEFINITELY NOT READY NOR AM I WILLING TO REVISIT THAT SHIT._

 


	2. Genocide Under a Rock

            After Dr. Griffin and the on call nurse Jerry were done taking vitals and changing IVs they vacated the room. Lexa made sure she was stretching her legs down the hall as far away from the entrance to ICU room 5 as she could to avoid any further communication.

 

Once she was sure that the doctor was not going to return for any reason she went back to her seat next to Gustus and eased her way down into a sitting position on the very edge of her seat so that the entire soles of her combat boots were on the floor.

 

Gus looked over at his partner’s rigid posture and commanding presence even as she sat with her left hand resting on her left knee and the right hand on the corresponding knee. He chuckled and shook his head.

 

“Commander, I know you have to always keep up appearances but if you don’t relax just a little, I’m gonna start telling YOU to remove the stick that’s lodged up your ass.”

 

Lexa rolled her eyes at him. “If I don’t keep my posture like this then my back starts to hurt. I maxed out on everything this week. I’m already tender.”

 

“Then why sit like that at all? Scoot your ass back on the chair idiot!”

 

Lexa rubbed her eyes with her left hand in frustration. She looked over at her partner for a few seconds trying to figure out how to explain things to him. Then she stood.

 

“Listen closely because I’m pretty sure I’ve explained this to you before.” Lexa regarded him with as much patience as she could muster. She already hated the sound of her own voice. She herself hated to be spoken to in such a way. As if she was a child that had not yet learned how to wipe her own ass correctly.

           

“First of all Gus…fuck…you’re fucking disgusting. I know you know everything about me but don’t ever mention my plans for embryonic transfer during one of our skits again. That was way over the line bro.” Lexa said shaking her head in disapproval but chuckling anyway in spite of herself.

 

Gus laughed along with her looking over and shrugging his shoulders.

 

“Ok, understood. Embryos are off limits.” Gus stated with finality giving Lexa a small salute. Lexa rolled her eyes and smirked.

 

“Hey let me borrow your shit iphone real quick.”

 

“Oh because your shit android is dead again?”

 

“yea yea yea…” Lexa replied not wanting to divert from her current lesson to explain to her partner once again that her phone never had juice because she was so bad at charging it and not because android was anything less than superior.

 

Gus was momentarily distracted putting the contents of his breast pocket back into place.

 

_Geez do I really have to remind him about not putting everything in one pocket again?_

Lexa took this opportunity to remove the Life proof case from the iphone with the edge of her cuff key and then patiently waited for her partner to look at her again.

 

When he did his expression turned from docile to horrified in a split second as he watched his partner hold out his very breakable but beautiful phone out to the side and let it go.

 

“WHAT THA…” Gus gasped as he attempted to catch the device by moving from his relaxed sitting position into a mid air prone position.

 

In the meantime, Lexa had already moved her boot over to stop the phone from making contact with the linoleum. She had not only been a star soccer player on every team she ever played on but she had also played since she was old enough to toddle. She would never allow her partners phone to shatter. One obvious reason is that she wasn’t cruel and would never do that to a friend but another reason was because this was her partners 3rd phone in the past year and she knew his wife Elena would kill him.

 

She watched as Gus’ chair tipped over knocking into hers right next to it and his gigantic body ungracefully toppling over right in front of his chair. Gus ended up landing no where near where his phone would’ve landed if Lexa hadn’t prevented it from shattering.

 

Lexa could tell that Gus had moved as fast as he could. He had made a valiant effort and she felt a little guilty about this form of teaching she had to resort to at times.

 

She bent over and picked up the pristine iphone and held it in front of his face to show him it was unharmed.

 

“I always sit making sure the entire sole of each of my boots is firmly on the ground at all times because if something goes down….I will always be ready. I can stand quickly and move. If my heels are tipped back or my feet are crossed, or my legs are wide open and relaxed or my ass is seated to the very back of my chair…well I’m sure you know what would happen if I attempted to move from that relaxed position into one of defense or attack. Sorry I made you shit your pants buddy but I take it you will remember this lesson now right?”

 

Lexa’s eyes softened apologetically as she offered both of her hands to help Gus get up.

 

As Gus took her hands and stood, Dr. Griffin rounded the corner down the hall near by. As she approached, Lexa could see the clear concern etched across her features.

 

_Grrrreat…I just summoned this painfully gorgeous walking contradiction again._

“Is everything….ok…I heard….”

 

“Yes maam, its fine. Just a lesson the Commander was teaching me. Nothing to worry about. Sorry to disturb you.” Gus replied quickly so that Lexa didn’t have to explain and possibly start another round of bickering.

 

Clarke looked at them both. Lexa avoided her worried gaze and ignored her completely leaning back on the wall next to her chair with her hands resting on her gun belt as she looked at the ceiling. Gus met Clarke’s eyes with a look he hoped was reassuring.

 

“Umm…ok…its ok.” Clarke replied smiling softly at Gus and walking back the way she came.

 

Gus watched and waited a few seconds to make sure he heard her footsteps fading down the hall.

 

“My God do you two have some serious sexual tension brewing! It makes perfect sense. You know how well I can read people.”

 

“Almost as good as I can.” Lexa offered smugly smiling at her partner.

 

“Ok, ok you’re right. I’ll admit it but you have some serious super power blockage when it comes to blue eyes. Commander, seriously you can usually spot when a girl is interested from a mile away even if she is hostile toward you during the initial meeting. But this one…this one is so hot she’s burned your circuits. AND you didn’t even notice anything below her chin did you?”

 

“Wow, as if I ever do Gus. I’m not sure what bothers me more, your accusation or the fact that you still don’t know me well enough after so long. I learned everything I needed to know by her words, the look in her eyes and the expressions on her face. There was tension all right. Just plain tension.” Lexa said looking back up to the ceiling and sighing loudly.

 

“Oh and that woman at that bar we covered that one night? You didn’t notice her phenomenal ass?” Gus teased with a grin big enough to split his face.

 

“What tha fuck man! You saw how she literally rammed it into my crotch to TRY to distract me from noticing her underage friend who was totally wasted already! How was I supposed to NOT notice her ass?”

 

Gus was laughing pretty hard at this point remembering the look on his partners face that night they had been tasked with patrolling a strip of bars downtown.

 

“Ok ok…but seriously, I read people as well as the next uniform and you are two are a perfect match. Both used to leading. Both respected by colleagues. Both used to being in control and in command in your careers and in the sack. Well at least I know you’re like that. Hundred bucks says Sky Princess likes to top.”

 

“Will you quit calling her that! Its gonna stick man.”

 

“I think it’s a little too late for that Commander.” Gus said laughing and shaking his head. “Tell me it didn’t do something to you when you heard her call you Commander. Even if she was being a smart ass.”

 

“Oh I’m sure it would’ve done something to me if she hadn’t just called me a trigger happy uniform right before I came back to the room. I swear man, its like people don’t even see us as people anymore. With every fucking bad apple that poisons the peck, we become less and less human. We are uniforms walking around with no meat to hold them up. No face, no name…no soul.”

Lexa’s voice dropped off almost completely at the end of her sentence. She closed her eyes and couldn’t believe how close she was to shedding a few frustrated tears. She didn’t think she would ever get used to the feeling of being hated just for the color of her uniform or the authority it represented.

 

Gus spoke up in this moment stealing the breath right out of her.

 

“Well, that just means we understand just a little how it feels to be a person of color. But imagine that amplified by a hundred and also….grandaddy, great granddaddy, great great and great great great granddaddy….were all slaves….its like huge rocks Heda….”

 

As Lexa looked over at her partner she felt a tear run down her face. She didn’t attempt to wipe it for fear that the movement would shatter this impromptu lesson her student was giving her. As a teacher she had always found these moments particularly profound. When her student was not only able to teach her a lesson but also when she was able to gain perspective from the lesson as well.

 

“Rocks?” Lexa asked, voice wet and gravelly.

 

Gus nodded seriously as he met her watery gaze. He sighed heavily.

 

“Every great milestone in our country’s history is….well….a stone. A large stone and underneath that stone are all the ghosts of the dead who sacrificed their lives before we got our shit together and improved. Society tries hiding the memory of the blood shed under these stones. Except, our time for improvement is never over.”

 

Lexa nodded her head looking over at her friend, biting her lip to keep from crying out in frustration and sorrow.

 

“The natives and the Jews and the end of slavery or better yet how slavery never really ended….and now this….its all genocide. People can tell me this picking off of these young men doesn’t qualify as genocide but that’s bullshit Commander and you know it as well as I do!” Gus said as fire began to appear behind his dark brown eyes.

 

“You’re right Gus. Your observation and metaphor are spot on.” Lexa said softly as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She stood abruptly and pat Gus on one large shoulder.

 

“I’m gonna go grab my charger from the unit and grab a coffee somewhere. You want one?” Lexa looked over at her partner who looked to be in deep thought.

 

“Y yea sure thanks….just black. And hey, just because people don’t know a fucking thing about who we are under these uniforms doesn’t mean all is lost. Some people are willing to learn and come to understand how hard this cross is to bear. Those are the only people I give a fuck about.” Gus said standing and crossing his right fist over his heart.

 

Lexa smirked softly and returned her partner’s gesture. Just another ritual they shared as partners. Their version of a secret handshake.

 ********************

 

“Hey so how has work been? Are you going in early to get a workout in as usual?”

Lexa’s sister Anya asked as she folded her 2 year old’s laundry and Lexa sat bouncing him on her knee. The little boy laughed as his chubby little cheeks softly jiggled with every bounce. Lexa laughed and gave him a huge smacking kiss on one of his cheeks.

 

“Ugh I can’t stand it! You’re so cute! Come here and give me those cheekies!” Lexa gushed as she held the little boy in the air above her head and brought him down into a cradle position attacking his little neck and kissing his face and cheeks repeatedly until the small boy could barely breathe through all the laughter.

 

Lexa laughed along with him and then gave him a break. She set him down and let him run rampant.

 

“Eh, can we not talk about work? Kind of shit right now. And yes of course I’m gonna get a workout in before my shift.”

 

“That Camacho kid huh? That something you’re having to deal with inadvertently?”

 

“Pretty much.” Lexa brooded as she sat back on the couch and closed her eyes.

 

“Come here Matt! Where did you go?? Hedies needs her chubby cheekie therapy!” Lexa called out closing her eyes and smiling when she heard the little pitter patter of her nephews small feet.

 

“Ugh Ahn, I love his little chubby feet. Have I told you that?”

 

“About a million times.” Anya replied laughing.

 

“Boy am I glad he came out with nothing but the Woods gene because not only is his father a shit bag but he’s also butt ass ugly Ahn. Sorry, you have shitty taste in men.”

 

Anya scoffed throwing a tiny ball of socks at her sister as they laughed together.

 

“Well tell me how you really feel Lex. Geez…but don’t forget he still got his father’s skin tone.”

 

Lexa’s enamored smile was brighter than Anya had seen in a while.

 

“I know…but Matt is brown sugar and Matt is gorgeous….he’s gonna be a heart breaker Ahn. I hope you’re ready for that.” Lexa said laughing heartily at her sister’s eye roll and growl.

 

“Well…while we’re on the subject of taste…..how is it for you lately in the ‘getting laid’ department?” Anya said lowering her voice so her son wouldn’t hear. She knew he didn’t understand but that didn’t stop a two year old sponge from picking up unwanted phrases when you least expected it.

 

Lexa laughed and sat up.

 

“My God you are such a perv. How did that come up out of no where?”

 

“You’re one to call ME the perv. Pretty sure out of the two of us, you’re the perv in this gene pool.” Anya said shaking her head and laughing.

 

Lexa and Anya had been roommates for the first 3 years after Lexa was discharged from the Marine Corps.

 

That meant that Anya was there through her sister’s transition from military life to civilian life and through her time in the academy and first year in the police department. When Lexa had become a full duty cop her “bed time activities” had tapered off drastically but before then it was like a revolving door at the bedroom at the end of the hall. Anya never judged her sister but there was relentless teasing. As an older sister she felt it was her duty to tease and of course to look after her sister. Now that Lexa had her own house and had never brought a girl to meet Anya or their uncle Titus, Anya was curious to know if her sister was getting any sexual release at all.

 

“You know, if you don’t relieve some of that sexual tension sometimes, it begins to become…unhealthy.” Anya said once again tipping her voice low and looking around to make sure Matt wasn’t in earshot.

 

Lexa rolled her eyes and laughed harder.

 

“What is it with you and Gus talking about sexual tension lately!”

 

This set Anya off in a fit of laughter.

 

“Of course Gus would be telling you the same shit. Might as well be one of the girls…although I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl that big.”

 

Lexa laughed at the visual she got of Gus in a dress and wig.

 

“Nah he’s just been teasing me about a doctor at the hospital we’ve been at all week. We were assigned the hospital duty on the night shift for as long as that poor kid remains there.”

 

“Doctor huh?” Anya says wiggling her eyebrows. “I’m sorry but that white Doctor’s smock has to make her ten times hotter than she is if she is at all.”

 

“Oh, there is plenty of hotness…just not enough polite conversation or even a connection. Gus says he sees it but I don’t even care. I’m not even interested. Whatever physical beauty this woman possesses was totally poisoned by the first impression she left me with.”

 

“Damn that says a lot coming from someone that doesn’t quite believe in the importance of a first impression when it comes to women.” Anya says raising her eyebrows in slight shock.

 

“Exactly.” Lexa says raising both arms in the air as if to prove her point.

 **************************

 

“Very interesting choice.” Clarke remarked softly tapping the back of the book Lexa was reading to avoid talking to her when she came in to the room at the beginning of their shift.

 

Lexa looked up at her and attempted to read her intention. Was she being sarcastic or genuine?

 

_Damn, Gus is right. Her hotness has broken my people reader….fuck_

“Heaven….IS for real doc. I know all you doctors have that God complex but trust me, its not just you holding that knife when you go into surgery. Maybe you think that white smock you wear is really a cape.  You might want to try a little humility.” Lexa sneered closing her book and standing in an attempt to create distance between herself and the doctor. Their proximity was already beginning to make her feel intoxicated.

 

When she heard Clarke scoff she took it as a small personal victory.

 

Gus stepped around the corner coming back from his restroom break but stopped and took the few steps back the way he had just come. He stood just around the corner quietly to give the police officer and doctor some time to talk alone. And of course to eavesdrop. What decent best friend wouldn’t eavesdrop?

 

“Wow, now I have a God complex because I wear this white 'smock?'"  Clarke lifted her hands and curled her fingers into quotations.

"You’re right. You know me so well! I also fuck people in broom closets and break rooms like twice a day or more and the rest of the residents and I stab each other in the back and kiss ass to get more surgeries under our belts. And when a person dies on the table, I brush it off my shoulder and go to the next. I’m cold hearted Woods. Didn’t you know?”

 

“I’m starting to see that.” Lexa replied without thinking and immediately regretted it when she saw the hurt flash across the doctor’s gorgeous features.

 

“You know, I felt bad about what I said to you the other night but now…not so much.” Clarke stated softly.

 

Lexa thought she would hear anger or maybe some venom in her scratchy voice but all she heard was sorrow. Lexa was feeling worse and worse by the second. She felt an apology on the tip of her tongue and hated the taste. In this moment she couldn’t exactly remember why the thought of an apology would feel so foreign when it was Clarke standing in front of her but when the doctor spoke again she remembered.

 

“You have no idea how much pressure I am constantly under. Its like this....coat....its a coat Woods...." the frustration in her voice punctuated by the few yanks she gives to one open end of the clean white article of clothing she dons over everything she wears.  Although in this moment Lexa realizes that from the first moment she laid eyes on the doctor, the only thing she has noticed is the white coat.  She never thought to look beyond it figuratively and literally.

 

_Damn...who's the narrow minded ignoramus now?_

 

"THIS fucking white coat, gives the world a reason not only to trust me with their precious life but also to shit on me when life slips through my fingers. And at the end of the day I can do EVERYTHING right and precious life can STILL slip through my fingers!”

 

Hesitating only a few seconds Lexa lifts her chin to prepare to deliver the moral to the parable of the day just as she has done so many times in her career.

 

“Well…now you know how it feels to be judged by the uniform you wear in public and not by what’s underneath your clothes. The expectations too high for any mere mortal to reach and the automatic stereotypes that bring pure unadulterated hate.” Lexa replied softly making eye contact once more with the doctor.

 

Lexa saw the realization dawn on the doctor’s face and heard a small but sharp intake of breath. Clarke opened her mouth to say something but Gus appeared from around the corner effectively cutting their conversation short.

 *****************

 

“Gustus…will you please stop fucking fidgeting! I’ve read the last sentence like 5 times now because I can feel you moving like a 2 year old next to me. Even Matt has more discipline!” Lexa complained closing her book and glaring at her partner.

 

“You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed the sky princess walking back and forth to the nursing station for the last few hours. She’s so not subtle. I swear you two are the perfect match. ‘I’ve read the last sentence 5 times because of you Gus! Not because I can’t stop thinking about how fucking hot Dr. Sky Princess is!’” Gus mocked in a falsetto voice that had Lexa laughing and jabbing him hard on the shoulder.

 

“Damn Commander, you’ve been hitting the bag hard this week huh? That one might just leave a bruise. You know, if you relieve what I’ve told you to relieve you wouldn’t have to let all that pent up energy out on a punching bag. There's something much softer that you can hit…much better tasting than the end of Ontari’s boxing glove that had you spitting out your mouth piece the other day.” Gus said snickering. His eyes alight with unbridled joy at teasing his beloved partner.

 

“Oh you motherfucker! You are such a disgusting pig! And you know Ontari had just taken a cheap shot and then tried to go for the straight knock out when I was still trying to recover. Just because I don’t have a package doesn’t mean a punch to my freaking vag doesn’t hurt!” Lexa defended.

 

Gus raised his hands in surrender but was still laughing.

 

“And please don’t ever refer to me having sex with a woman as ‘hitting it’ again. You know I fucking hate that. It’s fucking disgusting.”

 

“Yea yea I know. I just can’t help teasing you!” Gus admitted.

“Besides, I’m sure Ontari hit you in your family jewels just to offer to make you feel better later. She’s a strategist. One of the best I know. I’m actually surprised she hasn’t managed to strategize her way into your pants yet.” Gus says wiggling his eyebrows for effect.

 

Lexa laughed and rolled her eyes.

 

“I swear, with you its either that every woman is checking me out or trying to compete with me for God knows what….I’m taking a little walk…down that way.” Lexa says pointing in the opposite direction of the nurse’s station.

 

As she walks away Gus calls out to her.

 

“I only speak the truth Commander. You’re just too humble and oblivious to see it! And its not just women…its men too!”

 

Lexa flips him a bird as she walks away. She turns a corner and continues walking. She sees a sign on a corner of another hallway and sees that there is a gift shop ahead. She makes her way there taking her time.

 

Lexa knows it won’t be open but she figures it wouldn’t hurt to window shop and kill time.

 

As she approaches she notices a nun straitening out some pamphlets on a stand near the gift shop. She smiles softly at the nun as she looks up at her and nods her head in greeting. The nun smiles back and continues her task.

 

“Oh hello sister Teresa! Its good to see you!”

 

Lexa hears that voice and cringes. Adrenaline and annoyance pumping into her system. Lexa waits until the two women are done bantering and the nun leaves.

 

She turns to face Clarke with a pointed look.

 

“Are you following me? I gotta warn you that it’s not exactly smart to stalk a veteran with PTSD. It kind of gets me a little anxious.” Lexa says shocking herself by over sharing.

 

_What the fuck is wrong with you Sgt Lexa Woods! She really didn’t need to know you have fucking PTSD! Now she has more fucking ammo!_

“Fuck…I…can we just forget that I revealed a very unfavorable fact about myself just now.” Lexa said closing her eyes and bringing a hand to her forehead as she internally berates herself.

 

She hears Clarke laugh softly and it makes her stomach lurch. She opens her eyes and sees not ridicule but….

 

_Is…she nervous? Flirty? No…quit imagining shit. You already fucked up._

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to laugh. I I mean…what I meant was that I’m not laughing at the new information. I’m n not laughing AT you at all. At least not because I think what you said is funny. I’m not laughing because anything is funny at all…at least not in this moment…I…fuck.”

 

Lexa’s mouth hung open slightly and a blush began to tint her cheeks. She was watching an already gorgeous woman become vulnerable and adorable. She watched Clarke’s sex appeal turn innocent as she reduced herself to an attractive bumbling mess. It was irresistibly intoxicating and endearing.

 

_Wow…and I thought she couldn’t be any more gorgeous than what she already was_

Lexa is able to at least close her mouth but her stomach is in knots and she can’t speak. She can only stare.

 

Clarke clears her throat and brings her gaze from her feet to lock her shocking blue eyes onto Lexa’s slightly darkened green ones.

 

“What I mean is….I couldn’t help laughing because you’re seriously cute when you’re flustered…but…I only followed because I need to apologize. Its been eating at me all week and…I’m not a cruel person. I’m not cold hearted as much as you’d like to think I am. I’m just sorry. There’s a lot I don’t understand but I’m not narrow-minded. I’m willing to learn. I want to learn. I want to understand.” Clarke said biting her lip.

 

_Oh God…don’t…don’t bite your lip._

Lexa looked away from the lip caught in the blonde’s teeth and took a deep breath. She walked over to the doctor tentatively and held out her hand to her.

 

“Hi, I’m Lexa Woods. Marine Corps Combat Veteran and a Sgt in the Houston Police department….8th precinct….and I’m sorry for saying you had a God complex although I never meant that. I hope you know I was just trying to give you a taste of your own medicine and it got away from me in the swirl of emotions….not that I’m emotional toward you or anything…just…I was still angry…and…”

 

Lexa’s rambling ceased when Clarke took her outstretched hand in her warm and welcoming one.

 

“Hi..I’m um…Clarke. I’m sorry that I didn’t take the opportunity to know the woman beneath the uniform before making my very rude and very insulting…”

 

“And very hateful?” Lexa offered interrupting Clarke. Clarke giggled a little biting her lip again and causing Lexa to clench the fist of the hand she wasn’t shaking with.

 

Before Clarke continued talking she grew serious once more and looked into Lexa’s eyes.

 

“Very hateful assumptions. I hope you can forgive me. I hope you are also willing to help me gain some perspective on how it feels to wear the uniform and carry out the duties of a Houston police officer.”

Clarke didn’t let go of Lexa’s hand when she was done speaking. Lexa didn’t care much because the warmth and intensity she was feeling just by touching this woman’s hand had her mesmerized until she realized that Clarke was waiting for an answer.

 

“I um…I’m sorry…of course I can help you with that but if you just wanted to get to know me all you had to do was ask for my number or something. You didn’t have to be a dick upon first meeting me.” Lexa blurted out and when she saw the shock and amusement on Clarke’s face she began to laugh and let the woman’s hand go.

 

After the mild shock wore off, Clarke began to laugh too. They stared at each other for a moment still smiling shyly and then Clarke reached out to Lexa’s breast pocket.

 

Lexa couldn’t help slightly gasping in surprise at the doctor’s bold move to grab her phone from her breast pocket.

 

As Clarke typed her contact into Lexa’s phone she spoke, biting her lip on every other word in concentration.

 

_She’s teasing me with her lips. She’s teasing me, I know it._

“I’m putting my phone number in here and I hope I’m not getting you into any trouble with your .......significant other ......by doing so….there….done.”

 

Lexa took the phone from Clarke never breaking eye contact.

 

“I uh…no…there’s no one..”   Lexa said in a voice that sounded distant and small to her own ears.

 

“I don’t…there’s no one for me either…at the moment…” Clarke replied quietly and slightly trailing off as she looked behind her toward the hall way they both came down.

 

“Well…uh I’m gonna get back…the uh gift shop isn’t open for another 4 hours so I guess I’ll see you back in the ICU?” Clarke questioned with a quirk of one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

 

“Yea…sure. I’ll see you back at ICU 5.” Lexa said and she watched the doctor smile shyly as she turned to walk back the way she came.

 

 

 

 


	3. Coffee, Or Lunch, Or Whatever

“You’ve been a very aggressive sparring partner lately Commander. Can’t complain though. It’s been a great workout.”

 

Lexa could hear the sly grin on her colleagues face before she even closed the door to her locker to face her. She chuckled to herself before coming face to face with Ontari.

 

The lean and stocky brunette was standing on the other side of Lexa’s locker clad only in a pair of black Nike compression shorts and a black sports bra. Every inch of her exposed tanned skin was glistening with post work out sweat and her disheveled bun was messily perched atop her head. Lexa had seen plenty of her colleagues, men and women, practically drool at the sight standing in front of her at the moment. However, drool was the furthest reaction from Lexa’s mind. An eye roll and internal scoff was more fitting.

 

_Typical Ontari. Never wears much for workouts. Fuck that. I need some clothing to wipe my fucking sweat on._

 

“Really Ontari?” Lexa regarded her with an eye roll and shake of her head. “Where in the fuck do you wipe all your sweat? Sorry, but I will never understand how you’re able to workout like that.”

 

“It’s called a towel Lexa….” Ontari deadpanned.

 

“It’s also called, ‘I don’t have time to daintily bend over and grab a fucking towel in the middle of a timed workout….or any workout for that matter.’ It’s also called ‘I don’t give a rats hairy nut sack how good my ass looks in compression shorts while I’m working out!’” Lexa crossed her arms giving the woman a mock look of disappointment.

 

Ontari’s eyebrows raised in amusement and her eyes sparkled with mischief as she crossed her own arms over her chest and regarded the Sergeant.

 

“Oh…so now you’re admitting not only that my ass looks good in compression shorts but also that you have checked me out. No wonder I was able to get the upper hand so easily the other day during our sparring session. I distract you!”

 

If any other woman would’ve accused Lexa of any of this she would’ve been mortified but Ontari was an endless loop of flirtatious banter and Lexa never took it seriously.

 

“First of all, don’t flatter yourself. I was talking about MY OWN ass. Which by the way looks phenomenal in compression shorts…but well of course you’ll never know because I wear them UNDER my workout shorts like I fucking like to wear them. Argue all you want about how often you see other women do it. I’m not other women.”

 

Ontari barked laughter and slapped her knee. “Clearly….” She goaded.

 

“And second of all, you ‘distracted’ me…” Lexa lifted her fingers up to indicate quotations.

 

“the other day because you love to hit below the belt…literally….when will you drop all the dirty tricks and challenge me toe to toe Ontari?” Lexa inquired quirking one eyebrow and smirking.

 

Flirting and ridiculous lack of workout clothing aside, Ontari was Lexa’s go to when it came to partnering up for any kind of workout. She either tried her hardest to match the Sergeants intensity or stamina or she met it head on. She encouraged her to go the extra mile when she knew she needed pushing. Lexa couldn’t ask for more in a workout partner.

 

Not to mention that most of her colleagues would agree that a train could barrel through the gym during Lexa’s workout and it still wouldn’t interrupt what she was doing.

 

When in the zone during a workout there was nothing else but the pain, glory, sweat and how well she was controlling her breathing. She noticed nothing and no one. She wanted nothing else but to leave the gym with her body aching deliciously from whatever she decided to work on that day. It was always the perfect start to her shift. She was there to get thrashed and killed and punished until she was almost passing out or projectile vomiting and even then, if it came to that, she would still finish her reps or her circuit or her EMOM or her WOD. It gave her a rush unlike any other.

 

“Well I’d jump at the chance any time but you’re just too cute when you get pissed off every time I don’t follow the rules.” Ontari’s predatory gaze went completely unnoticed even as she dedicated at least 5 seconds to staring at Lexa’s lips.

 

Lexa rolled her eyes.

 

“Excuses Ontari. Excuses.”

 

Ontari’s responding chuckle was more seductive purr than laugh. “You’re not even on the schedule today…what are you doing here on your day off?”

 

“Forgot my wallet here after my shift yesterday. Can’t do much without that. I’ll be back on Sunday night…try not to miss me too much.” Lexa walked off in the opposite direction checking her missed messages as she went.

 

Ontari watched her leave biting her lip and shaking her head as she shamelessly studied the curve of the Sergeants hips, thighs and ass with a primal hunger fit for a predator that has become accustomed to easily catching her prey.

 

Lexa’s white canvas chucks, skin tight white wash skinny jeans and black v neck t shirt paired with her gorgeous wavy light brown locks made Ontari immediately thank the merciful heavens that they weren’t going to work out today because she wasn’t sure she could get through it after seeing the Sergeant in her civilian clothes.

 

Before Lexa could completely exit the locker room, her good friend Nyilah caught her sleeve and gave it a small tug to get her attention as she walked by.

 

“Who’s got you doing the ‘I wanna fuck you’ slash heart eyes face?” Nyilah’s laugh echoed slightly as she poked the screen on Lexa’s phone causing a few symbols and letters to appear before Lexa could pull it away. “Aint nothing like that new love feeling huh? Or in your case, probably, new fuck buddy feeling.” Nyilah tsked a few times shaking her head.

 

“You’re so fucking predictable Ny. I always look forward to our little talks before I leave the locker room. You love your locker placement don’t you..” Lexa turned off her screen to prevent any further snooping or sabotage to the text message conversation she was about to initiate with Clarke.

 

“Oh you know it. I talk shit to everyone right before they leave. I like to think I’m like a great start or end to their day. So who are you dreaming of a happy ending with today?” Nyilah motioned to the phone Lexa had just stowed in her back pocket.

 

“It was just my sister Ny.” Lexa evaded sliding both hands into the pockets of her jeans.

 

“Mhm, your pussy licking sister.” Nyilah teased biting the tip of her tongue.

 

“By the way, the public service announcement I’d like to offer you today is this: Ontari wants to mount you vvvvvvvigorously.”

 

Nyilah shimmies her shoulders while she elongates the word vigorously with a little growl. Lexa can’t help laughing at her ridiculous friend.

 

“Seriously, you’re the sharpest and most bad ass cop I know but when it comes to women…..you sure as fuck fell out of the tragically oblivious tree and hit every branch on the way down.” Lexa walked past rolling her eyes and opening the door while Nyilah gave her a few shoves on the blade of one shoulder reiterating her observation.

 

“Oblivious….oblivious….oblivious…..”

 

Lexa shrugged off the last shove laughing and shaking her head.

 

**Heda: Can’t seem to walk in to the locker room at the station without getting harassed damn…**

**Sky Princess: I bet. I mean you get harassed here too. I think you might have a ‘be a dick to me’ sign on your back. Have you checked?**

**Heda: Ha no ur the only one that has accomplished that lately. No one is a dick to me here.**

**Heda: For the most part.**

**Sky Princess: Have I said I’m really fucking sorry about that?**

**Heda: I think you’ve mentioned it once or twice lol**

“Hey Commander! My rookie and I had a question!”

 

_Fuck…am I ever gonna get out of here???_

Lexa once again turned off the screen to her phone and stowed it away in her back pocket.

She turned around toward the voice and noticed one of her fellow senior officers (Rodriguez) walking toward her with a rookie that she had seen a few times but hadn’t formally met (Chaimberlain). She noticed his awkward skittish posture right away. His gait was tentative and deliberate as he made his way over and his eyes never left the floor.

 

_Damn kid well that’s not gonna work_

“Rod…what’s up man? Corrupting the poor rookies again?” Lexa joked easily holding out her fist for Officer Rodriguez to bump.

 

“You know it. Hey we caught the end of your WOD the other day…Jesus squat thrusters fucking suck huh?”

 

Lexa’s eyes widened slightly remembering the workout in question and her stomach turned as she remembered almost puking at the end of it.

 

“Oh my God man you have no idea. Have you tried that WOD before? The thrusters and burpees? I swear I like to get murdered during a workout but I seriously don’t ever want to have to do that one again. You into crossfit Chaimberlain?”

 

Lexa addressed the timid rookie trying to include him in the conversation. She noticed that when she mentioned crossfit that his eyes finally met hers and she knew she had found his particular passion.

 

“Uh..y yes Sergeant I uh, I’m just getting into it but I like it a lot.”

 

“Yea I couldn’t get him to shut his fucking mouth about it that day we saw your workout!” Rodriguez interjected loud and obnoxious, as is his nature.

 

Lexa regarded her fellow sergeant but said nothing. She was waiting for Chaimberlain to continue since she was pretty sure he had intended to say more. Before the young rookie could speak up, Rodriguez continued rambling.

 

“I think he has a thing for you. Of course I don’t blame him. I think the entire precinct heard you fucking grunting and growling!” Rodriguez began to laugh and slap his knee.

 

Lexa felt an acidic mixture begin to slowly churn in her stomach. She gave up waiting for the rookie to speak and then addressed Rodriguez with a dangerous glare.

 

“I mean, you had us wondering if that’s what you sound like…you know….during….” Rodriguez wiggled his tongue through two of his fingers and continued laughing. “I mean…is it? How you sound I mean? It has to be damn near close right?”

 

Chaimberlain was horrified and extremely uncomfortable as he turned away from the conversation. Rodriguez grabbed one of the rookie’s shoulders and forced him to face him again.

 

“Hey man listen up! Aren’t you curious to know this shit too? Come on don’t be a pussy!” Chaimberlain looked mildly disgusted and the blood began to drain from his face.

 

“Oh that bitch!” Lexa suddenly exclaimed. The look of utter confusion on Rodriguez’s face was so comical that Lexa almost burst out laughing before she could even deliver her punch line.

 

“Your wife Rod….I knew that bitch would spill eventually. I told her to keep her rabid ass mouth shut but I should’ve known she would tell you how I sounded when she was giving me head. The way she was praying to God when I made her cum must’ve been something she couldn’t forget huh? Well, tell her I’ll give her a call if I ever need a good…..”

 

“OK! All right I get it. Have a good day Commander.” Rodriguez sullenly mumbled as he began retreating like a little boy that didn’t find his official Red Ryder, carbine action two-hundred shot range air rifle under the tree on Christmas morning.

 

The sight alone made Lexa laugh heartily. A guttural sound flowing out of her throat as she did so.

 

Lexa caught a surprised and amused look on Chaimberlain’s face before she gracefully bowed out of the conversation herself.

 

“Hey before you take off….Chaimberlain…”

 

Lexa put a hand on the rookie’s shoulder and made eye contact with him. All joking out and seriousness in. Lexa noticed the rookie was ready to listen to anything she was about to say with a hunger to learn that she had seen on many faces of the rookies she had trained over the years. It was always good to see them so eager.

 

“Always remember that your weapon is an extension of you. If you could kill a man with one punch I’m sure you’d think long and hard about ever throwing one. Your job is to uphold the law without bias. We are not killers. Be careful today.”

 

 *****

 

  **Heda: Do you ever get a day off? You like live at that hospital**

**Sky Princess: This is also something I can offer you in exchange for the perspective ur giving me. A working knowledge of how things are for a resident. I technically only have like one day off. Tomorrow.**

**Heda: Well thank you. I appreciate your counter offer doc and I accept.**

**Sky Princess: Don’t mention it.**

**Heda: Now that I am finally home, I am effectively going to sleep away half of my first day off…only down side to a night shift.**

**Sky Princess: Ok goodnight**

**Heda: Wait before you go do u maybe want to meet for coffee tomorrow? We could go over more bullet points for our shared learning experience?**

**Heda: Or not. If ur not in2 coffee we could do lunch or whatever u want. I’m down for whatever**

**Heda: And u can totally say no if u already had plans. I know its short notice & fuck only one day off**

_Stupid stupid stupid stop fucking texting already stupid!_

**Sky Princess: Ok first of all who’s NOT into coffee I mean really?**

**Sky Princess: And….I will consider it…but you have to tell me something 1st**

**Heda: Ok**

**Sky Princess: I pretty much know already judging from the way you shot off multiple text messages before I could reply but still….**

**Sky Princess: Totally not judging. BTW Very impressive texting skills. Hand eye coordination…motor skills…whatever u wanna call it**

_Fuck I swear you have zero game Woods_

**Sky Princess: r u as flustered now as u were b4 u introduced urself the other night?**

**Heda: OIC its poke fun at the idiot hour. Maybe I am. Maybe even more than I was the other night. u think its cute anyway right?**

**Sky Princess: [heart eyes emoji] yyyaaaassss….so effing cute. You’re on Woods. Text me tomorrow w/details. Sleep well.**

**Heda: I will now**

**Sky Princess: Ugh just quit already. Go to sleep Commander.**

“Jesus….this is too much. You’re acting like a fucking teenager with her first pair of wet panties.” Lexa mumbled to herself before putting her phone on her end table and turning off her lamp.

 

 *****

Lexa had never thought so long and hard about one single outfit in her entire life. Her entire professional career had been different versions of a dress or rough duty uniform.

 

The closest she had been to having an outfit crisis of late was having to choose between a navy or black blazer to appear as a witness in court for one of the arrests she had made. Which turned into opting out of the blazer all together and going with a flowy off white blouse and a navy pencil skirt.

 

Of course Gus pointed out that almost the entire jury was ogling her except maybe for the old woman who he said didn’t count because she was literally taking a nap during Lexa’s testimony.

 

But before she made her way to the Paper Co. coffee shop to meet Clarke, she thought she’d pull her hair out over thinking the various options she had. Casual, semi casual, a little more than casual but not too much where it looks like she was trying too hard? She even entertained the idea of sweats and a t shirt for a hot second before deciding against it. The near anxiety attack she fell victim to was enough to scare her beyond anything she was willing to admit. Which just piled on more anxiety.

 

_Why in the FUCK do I care this much??? This is not good…._

And now as she sat at her usual table in the corner of the quiet little café she regretted ever thinking that it wasn’t too hot in Houston, Texas for a white button down cotton polyester blend shirt and a pair of fitted dark maroon chinos with chucks.

 

Lexa had always been a sleeve roller so she never considered a long sleeve to be out of the question during the summer but Houston summers aren’t normal hot. Houston summers, springs and more than half of every winter were devil’s crotch hot. Texas really didn’t have seasons and the humidity also had Lexa regretting that she left her hair down.

 

Which is why when Clarke walked toward the table after ordering an Americano at the counter, she found Lexa mid messy bun construction. Lexa paused a second when she saw her approach but decided that she had to finish and if she had already been discovered she was going to own it.

 

Owning it for Lexa meant that she would cover her embarrassment with a fake air of confidence that really only meant that she came off as a huge, endearing geeky goofball. Her rambling, failed attempts at being witty and constant shy smiles or smirks were supposed to make it look like she really DID’T care enough to be embarrassed.

 

But now she was also dealing with maybe the most gorgeous woman she had ever laid eyes on wearing a simple and short flowy light blue sun dress that made her eyes so vividly electric that she felt like she was suffocating in their color saturation.

 

Clarke quickly shot down the pretense of aloofness when she sat across from Lexa and the first thing out of her mouth was….

 

“Oh God, so its possible for you to be as cute as you already are when you’re flustered while also fucking around with your gorgeous head of hair that I’ve never seen down by the way. You’re trying to either kill me or make me self-conscious for the rest of my life aren’t you? And out of uniform? Jesus you’re like a whole different person! Warn me next time!”

 

Clarke flailed her hands around a little before smiling and rolling her eyes effectively stealing the breath right out of Lexa’s lungs.

 

_She must not own a mirror_

“I take it your mirrors at home are all broken…you know that’s like 7 years bad luck right? Depending on uh…how many you uh have at your place…that could mean uh a a a lot of bad luck. Which….Its uh hard to believe because I know you’re wearing eyeliner. You’re talented. Putting it on like that without uh…. having to look in a mirror….its uh….” Lexa huffed out a small puff of air on to her fingernails and then rubbed them on her chest grinning and trailing off.

 

_Oh….my….God Jesus….bitch…just gag yourself…choke yourself. Just fucking walk out. You just don’t know when to shut your fucking mouth Woods…._

 

“Ugh oh my God ….you’re seriously like the cu…”

 

“Hey Lexa, are you ready to order? Now that your…date is here?” The waitress Sarah asked as she set Clarke’s coffee on table in front of her. Sarah smiled at them both and raised her eyebrows reveling in the nervous situation she seemed to have just created.

 

Sarah had gotten to know Lexa over the last year as she was one of the regulars and she had never seen her bring anyone in with her.

 

The Paper Co. was Lexa’s get away. It was her way to find her Zen and get back on track. It was her quiet corner sanctuary. Sarah wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to tease her mercilessly when she knew that this gorgeous blonde had to be someone special to one of her favorite regulars.

 

“I uh…”

 

Clarke looked over to Sarah with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

 

“Uh…I take it Lexa is a regular here?” Clarke looked from Sarah to Lexa biting her lip through a small grin as she waited for Sarah to answer.

 

The waitress was really enjoying this.

 

“Oh of course. Lexa is in at least once, sometimes twice a week. And she ALWAYS comes in alone…so…you must be someone pretty special. Hello SOS, its nice to meet you. My name is Sarah and I will be taking care of you today. Lexa has the same order every time she comes in but I’ll give you a chance to look over the menu.”

 

Clarke’s melodious laugh made Lexa’s stomach burst into a flutter of sparrows.

 

“Hello Sarah…my name is Clarke. Does Lexa’s usual order include donuts?” Clarke couldn’t resist the dig at the stereotype.

 

“Ha! I get it. I wish I could say she falls into that stereotype but alas, **sigh** …we can’t tease her about that. She never orders any kind of pastry.” Sarah sighed in mock regret.

 

“Anyway, nice to meet you Clarke. Just wave me over when you’re ready?” Sarah looks over at Lexa and winks wickedly before walking back to the counter.

 

“So…donuts are not your thing huh?” Clarke made a scene of looking down past Lexa’s alluring green eyes to look at what she could see of her body above the table.

 

“I guess I should’ve made that assumption myself but I’m trying this new thing where I don’t make assumptions about people I don’t know behind their backs?”

 

“Oh…you’re a movie quoter huh?”

 

Lexa was glad for the discovery so maybe she could take the focus off the fact that her cheeks were flaring by this point and her stomach was in knots at the show Clarke had just made of checking her out.

 

“On Wednesdays we wear pink.” Lexa quoted smiling enthusiastically and widening her eyes slightly in her best impersonation of Karen Smith.

 

Apparently, Clarke hadn’t been prepared for an impersonation that was so spot on. Judging from the way she narrowly abstained from spitting out her first sip of coffee only to inhale it and begin coughing violently.

 

Lexa thought is was funny at first but grew a little concerned when the coughing fit hadn’t subsided after a few good coughs. She motioned for Sarah to come over and quickly asked her for some water. By the time Sarah had set it down on the table and disappeared, Clarke’s coughs were finally tapering off a little.

 

The blonde took a few sips and cleared her throat laughing a little at the worried expression on Lexa’s face. She took a napkin and wiped a few tears from under her eyes.

 

“Are you ok? Fuck if my quotes have that affect on you I won’t ever try to be funny with one again.” Lexa sincerely vowed tracing an X over her heart with a finger to simulate her vow.

 

Clarke cleared her throat once more and shook her head.

 

“No, its ok…it just shocked me because you sounded just like her and it was really funny…like I didn’t know you had that in you. From the first day we met you’ve been so hard lined and serious it was just a curve ball. But a curve ball that has me intrigued.” Clarke admitted quietly.

 

Lexa allowed a small smile to grace her lips but the feeling she had in her chest was far more intense than she was letting on.

 

“About that, I kind of have a bad habit of separating the seriousness of my job from the potential care free aspects I could embrace in my personal life. This place is about the only thing I have when it comes to decompressing. Well this and the gym.”

 

“Is it because of your condition?” Clarke’s question came off as reluctant in Lexa’s ears and she knew this conversation was going downhill into a rather dark place way more quickly than she would’ve like.

 

“I uh, little too soon.” Lexa murmured almost inaudibly and looked away from the eye contact she had easily maintained up until this moment.

 

“I’m sorry.” Clarke’s voice was so full of emotion and sincerity that Lexa’s eyes once again succumbed to that extraordinarily strong magnetic pull and before she knew it Clarke had reached over and placed her warm hand over one of her own and they were locked in a silent staring contest that neither cared much to find their way out of.

 

Of course, Sarah had to break it up eventually and they ordered their food.

 

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed as the two sipped their coffee and waited for their food.

 

“You don’t have to be sorry by the way. I am actually pretty open and completely honest. Sometimes too much for my own good….just some topics are a little too heavy and….”

 

“No need to explain. I understand.”

 

Lexa’s expression was so full of unspoken gratitude that Clarke seemed to be caught in a silent moment of awe. Lexa couldn’t quite read her expression so she just continued to maintain eye contact.

 

“You’re…really beautiful.” Clarke murmured. Lexa took a second to try to decide if she wanted to tease Clarke or accept the compliment. And Lexa was the worst at taking compliments.

 

“You…uh…..no I’m not.” Lexa smiled shyly and shook her head looking away from the intensity of the moment once again and laughing at herself. She felt her face getting hot again and she hated how easily readable she was being around the blonde.

 

“No. You’re right. You aren’t beautiful. That word is insufficient. I could say gorgeous which is totally fitting as well but you’re head is big enough as it is. I could say alluring but once again…that big head. So maybe we can just chalk it up to attractive and leave it up in the air? I think that’s fair don’t you?”

 

Lexa’s laugh was full and bright and healing in a way that filled all the pockmarks and holes she had developed on her heart over the years. Battle scars from war and hate and injustice and lost love. Lexa loved a good laugh. She truly felt that other than true love, it was the best remedy for healing any ailment.

 

“Anyway, since you’re acceptance of compliments is shit, tell me about what kind of workouts you like to hammer out in the gym.”

 

“Hammer out? Never heard that one before.” Lexa teased.

 

“Well if I had said ‘bang out’ then that would be way too sexually charged. And if I said ‘get in’…well the same thing. So the next descriptive words I fell upon were hammer out.”

 

“Which, in my world of cavemen and Neanderthals, would be considered even MORE sexually charged than the other two options.” Lexa laughed again and this time Clarke laughed with her.

 

“I do everything. But whatever I do, I do it until I can barely stand, or breathe or move…or until I get sick. Free weights, boxing, crossfit, long distance running, yoga, jujitsu….sometimes even grappling with a partner turns into a really grueling workout depending on who the partner is and mine is fucking ruthless and brutal.” Lexa shook her head whistled a little emphasizing the rough nature of her workout partner.

 

“Oh yea I can imagine.” Clarke commented.

 

Lexa looked over trying to gauge the sincerity of the comment and found herself lost once again. She could not get a read on the blonde in even the simplest of circumstances.

 

“Was that sarcasm?” Lexa asked raising her eyebrows in amusement.

 

“NO, God no I’m serious! Like I’m sure all of you have workouts that are that grueling and partners that are almost like drill instructors!” Clarke defended.

 

Lexa nodded her head in acceptance.

 

“Well, we all do some form of workout but there are only a few of us that work as hard as Ontari and I do. Ontari is my work out partner by the way.”

 

“I see.” Clarke remarked regarding her companion once again and Lexa could see the cogs turning in her head.

 

“What?” Lexa asked slightly uncomfortable at being examined.

 

“Nothing….I just…Just wondering why you work out so hard. Like…you seem to be very adamant about destroying yourself in the gym. Is there a reason behind that or are you just vain about the way you look? Not that caring about the way you look is bad. You have to love yourself and take care of yourself after all. I mean, you won’t get any judgment from me…I’m just curious.” Clarke said with a hint of reassurance that Lexa was beginning to find addicting.

 

_If I’m not careful with this one, she could know way too much, way too soon._

“I’m uh…about 5 ft 5. I don’t have stocky shoulders like Ontari. My hips and thighs aren’t particularly wide or built for strength at least not naturally. I weigh….well…I kind of don’t weigh…” Lexa laughed and looked over as Clarke began laughing as well.

 

She was about to continue her reasoning when Sarah emerged with their orders. When they were set and needed nothing more from their server, Sarah excused herself throwing a tiny smirk at Lexa.

 

“Wow…how did I not know about this place?”

 

Clarke moaned closing her eyes in pleasure. The grilled chicken and pesto sandwich she was devouring was something Lexa had only tried once but knew was good so she recommended it. But that moan caused Lexa’s chest to seize with arousal.

 

_Fuck_

“Well its all part of my idea of giving you perspective. It comes with the package.” Lexa said flashing a pair of eyes that had turned to light green emeralds in the afternoon sun spilling through the large café windows.

 

She speared a forkful of her salad and occupied her mouth but not for long.

 

“Continue…please…I’m intrigued about the reasoning behind your chosen rigorous gym hammering routine.” Clarke smirked taking another bite of her sandwich.

Lexa shook her head and chuckled lightly through her nose. She swallowed what she had in her mouth and continued.

 

“My workouts are heavily concentrated on core strength. Core strength gives you the ability not only to have extreme explosive power but when combined with extreme conditioning, it also gives you the ability to continue to maintain that power for much longer than your opponent. At least that’s what I’m aiming for. So I tend to go over board when training. Ontari is tough and relentless but even if she can’t match my stamina or intensity sometimes, she makes up for it with her fucking mouth.” Lexa rolls her eyes.

 

Clarke giggles a little.

 

“I mean, even when I out do her I’m usually too out of breath to talk shit about that. And she knows exactly what to say to get under my skin and make me push even harder. Of course, later I give her mad shit about it but it’s tamped down by the time I’ve recovered from murdering myself so she gets off easy.”

 

Clarke looks up at Lexa in a sudden moment of realization and they both burst out laughing.

 

“I mean….I don’t know if she gets off! Not to me I’m sure and not easy either…judging from how fucking stubborn she is.” Lexa remarks wiping her eyes from her round of laughter.

 

“So, all that tension in the gym and you haven’t fucked her? I would ask if she’s straight but I don’t feel the need to. I think you pretty much fall into anyone’s ideal ‘type.’” Clarke remarks looking over at Lexa and biting her lip.

 

Lexa ignores the searing heat pooling low in her stomach.

 

“Oh God no. Even if I could see Ontari like that, I so don’t come off as attractive across the gender and preference board and I don’t mix work and pleasure. It’s just asking for trouble.”

 

“But, back to my original point….” Lexa trudged on trying to tamp down her arousal now.

 

“Because I’m small in stature, I’m easily under estimated while on the job which almost always means that I will be in 10 times more danger wearing that black uniform than an average man would. I have a few strikes against me from the get go. I believe in using my officer presence as a primary weapon. If it has to go past that then I take that either as a personal failure or one of my strikes.”

 

Clarke looks over nodding her head in understanding. Her expression is so full of concentration and interest that Lexa can’t help feeling special just to be heard and observed by this gorgeous woman.

 

“Either way, my second weapon of choice is my body and I haven’t had to go past my second weapon yet. Yes, some individuals in uniform go straight for the last weapon on the list and in some circumstances it is required but that doesn’t mean a shot has to be taken. Command presence is still required. The gun is just an extension of oneself. Almost as if I were entering a fight with my fists up and ready. If I talked enough shit and my command presence was on point, chances are I wouldn’t even have to throw that first punch.”

 

“Except, not every person in uniform is as considerate and ballsy and steadfast….and…well just fucking smart. Strategy seems to be the last thing on some of their minds.” Clarke said looking over at Lexa with a soft and pensive expression on her face.

 

“That doesn’t mean I’m perfect and my concept or strategy doesn’t always apply. It’s meant to be a foundation to be applied to different situations. The point is that I have to be sure that when I’m using my body as a weapon that I don’t break it indefinitely or worse…terminate it. That’s where all the hard work pays off. I wouldn’t ask for my partner to give his life for me if I hadn’t already exhausted all other options to take care of the situation myself.”

 

Clarke nodded seriously. “I don’t know officer Black that well but it seems like he wouldn’t think twice before taking a bullet for you…and you for him.”

 

Lexa’s smile was blinding. Clarke’s heart was stuttering.

 

“Exactly, which is why I work so hard. Gus has two kids and a wife. I’d never want him to sacrifice their lives without him just to save me.”

 

“Jesus Lexa…that doesn’t make your life any less valuable.” Clarke remarks putting her hand over Lexa’s again and slowly rubbing her scarred knuckles a few times before pulling away and taking a sip of her water.

 

Lexa cleared her throat and took two large swigs of her own water before speaking again.

 

“Thanks but its different when you deal with death the way we do. Near death experiences cause you to consider your life and the value of your life differently. Doesn’t make your opinion wrong….just makes our opinions differ because of our difference in experience and line of work.”

 

“I guess…”

 

Clarke’s sigh sounds a little defeated as if she already knew she could sit all day with Lexa in this coffee shop arguing this point and she’d still lose the argument.

 

“Anyway…..when you’re in the middle of a high stress situation, the surrounding elements and the stress are enough. Add the enormous burst of adrenaline that will be constantly pumping through your body and you’re apt to get gassed way faster than you normally would. At the end of the day, old fashioned hard fucking workouts is the only thing that is going to get me home in one piece at the end of my shift. I might go home with some dents in this candy plated muscle car chrome but I’ll live to fight another day.”

 

“Dents huh? Makes me wonder how such an attractive candy plated chrome body can go home at the end of their shift and not have a pair of expert hands to bang out those dents when required.”

 

Lexa’s eyes slightly widened.

 

“Oh my God…if that weren’t such an excellent combination of metaphors I would so walk out of here right now. I hate pick up lines but I can’t find it in me to see that as a strike against you because that was seriously fucking funny and I can tell it was just off the top of your head.” Lexa was laughing again and she was beginning to really like the feeling of everything being so easy when she was around the young doctor.

 

Clarke laughed smugly. “Don’t avoid the question Woods. I still want an answer.”

 

“Well I’m sure for the same reason a polished hybrid like yourself doesn’t have a pair of very capable and talented hands to do the same for her when she gets home after like 48 hours of using her talented and capable hands to fix and save others. No time. Lack of quality candidates….and other equally compelling reasons.” Lexa trailed off.

 

“Wait, wait back up a bit. Why am I a hybrid and you a muscle car?” Clarke quirked an eyebrow

 

“Well the muscle car….obviously…” Lexa motioned to her bicep, which she flexed, but the sleeve of her button down defeated the whole purpose as it covered the evidence. Clarke scoffed rolling her eyes.

 

“and you’re a hybrid because I’m still trying to figure out how one woman can be so sexy….and so cute….and so fucking gorgeous all at the same time…..hybrid.”

 

“Hybrid is defined as a cross between two things only Casanova….do your friends call you Nova?” Clarke teased reminding Lexa of their shared love of movie quotes.

 

“No, they call me Commander.”

 

***

 

An hour later when Lexa was sliding her tongue against Clarke’s causing the blonde to moan involuntarily in the entrance of her home, she would tell herself that it was her clever response to Clarke’s hybrid question that made it happen for her.

 

Clarke would be thanking God that she was finally able to put both of her hands in the luscious head of hair she caught Lexa messing with when she first walked into the coffee shop.

 

And when Lexa easily lifted Clarke’s weight in her arms after running both hands under her dress to discover a lacey thong, and carry her over to her bedroom, they would both be relieved that they were finally going to get what they wanted.

 

_Fuck what happens after this_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be heavy smut. Fair warning


	4. Endless Story

In the fading light of a Texas afternoon, the wide and high prairie sky is a rich tapestry of blushing pink hues, muted orange melting into a deeply devastating indigo blue.

 

The majestic beauty of Houston has always inspired a child like awe in Lexa.  She never hesitates to boast of its grandeur to those who have never visited or witnessed it. The 4th largest city in the United States provides some of the most gorgeous natural wonders of the world but for once, Lexa can not be bothered to even notice when her eyes have fallen on a gorgeous tapestry in a class all her own.

 

Slopes and creases and shaded sweetness.  Vivid colors and responsive sounds.  Art work in the form of erotica. One furious crashing wave of sea green meeting dangerous lightning bolt blue.

 

Hands made to destruct, to restrain, to assert, slotted through with fingers and palms made to heal and fix and reconstruct.

 

Their encounter, fusion, collision as primordial an occurrence as a meteor exploding through the earths atmosphere and entrenching its searing mass deep into the earth’s crust.

 

                                                ***

 

Having copious amounts of sex was anything but new for Lexa. Bedding women was something that had come natural and fairly easy for her.  Living with Anya had been a challenge and she dealt with her fair share of embarrassment as anyone would when sharing your living space with your sister during an enormous increase of sexual activity but here she was free to do as she pleased.  She had worked hard to purchase her own home and she was happy that she finally had a space of her own.

 

She can vaguely remember her last conquest.  A woman she met at a bar one night. That had been about a month ago.  But before that she had been on a dry spell of her choosing.  

 

Contrary to popular belief, (Ontari’s opinion only as far as she knew) random women really DIDN’T throw their panties at the commander’s feet as she walked like the rose bearers in Coming to America although imagining it DID make Lexa laugh so hard that her post work out drink spewed out through her nose. That gritty shit is unpleasant enough going down the usual way. It fucking burned shooting out through her nose. Ontari was still giving her shit for it.

 

Erica, the red head from the bar, fell into her bed a month ago and brought an end to that dry spell but Lexa was so distracted and unfocused that after she had brought the woman to explosive release several times she ended their night abruptly ignoring and politely declining repeated offers to prolong their encounter.

 

Before vacating Lexa’s front door, Erica scrawled her number on a post it note she snatched from the writing desk Lexa had in the corner of her very large master bedroom and had stuck it to her ensuite bathroom mirror before literally sulking on her way out.  

 

Lexa was not interested in making things even a little complicated. She never failed to be sweet and attentive and considerate and respectful. Part of that attentive consideration and respect came with being completely up front and honest and she never hesitated to tell any woman that she was not looking for anything serious.

 

Lexa discovered the post it the next morning slightly curved up obscuring whatever was written on its thick brown surface but Lexa knew what was there without even looking. Which is why it was quickly crumbled up and tossed into the trash without a glance or a second thought.

 

So it hadn’t been long at all since Lexa had been with a woman but when it came to the feeling currently seizing her chest, well that was different.  

 

She didn’t have to think too hard to remember the last time this warm feeling filled her chest even if the memory didn’t make her feel warm at all. Three years ago her 5 year relationship met its end and Lexa never saw it coming.

 

Back then, the Commander only existed in times of war. When Lexa returned home after deployments, the Commander was left behind in the sands of Afghanistan and Iraq along with all the spilled blood of friends and foe alike. One pointless war and one senseless one.

 

Back then she was naive. Three years back, she hadn’t yet learned how to give the illusion that she was an open book without actually opening up. Lexa was a different person then but like every Marine she quickly learned to adapt and overcome and the result was her short list of rules.

 

They were simple enough to remember:

 

No sleeping over.

 

No sleeping with the same woman more than once.

 

And Lexa’s most important rule:

 

No touching.

 

Her body was at their disposal for as long as the encounter lasted in any way they needed it or wanted it but they were not allowed to touch her specifically to perform a sexual act.

 

With Costia, her fiancé, she had given consent fully and without limitations. What kind of fiancé would she be if she never allowed her future wife to make love to her?

 

What Lexa didn’t realize was that it had nothing to do with the type of fiancé she herself was but the type of fiancé Costia was.

 

Which is why, after being blindly devoted to the same woman for 5 years she put a grotesquely huge rock on her finger and began the stressful process of planning (at her fiance’s request) a very ostentacious aquarium themed wedding.

 

RSVPs were in and a month before Lexa would willingly and eagerly pledge her heart and soul to Costia, she walked in on her in none other than her own sister Anya’s home where they were temporarily lodged, to find Costia in bed being pounded out by none other than one of her most trusted colleagues.

 

Lexa could still remember the words that spewed out of Costia’s pleading turned poisonous mouth.

 

The mouth Lexa used to fall apart under.

 

The mouth she used to taste in the early morning hours melting both heart and loins when Costia began descending her bed warm body to take up a dwelling in one of the most intimate parts of Lexa’s body only second to the area right over her heart where Lexa always wished Costia would lay but never did.

 

The words of irritation and anger that came after Lexa refused to look past her fiancé’s betrayal. When she insisted they call off a wedding that, after this unfortunate discovery, Lexa knew was never meant to be.

 

“You mean to tell me that you and I have been together for half a decade and you are now going to leave me a month away from our wedding day?? Are you fucking kidding me Lexa?? Doesn’t true love mean forgiveness too? I guess you’re perfect huh! Oh of course you are. Lexa, the fucking war hero tough as fuck….so fucking tough huh?”

 

“Don’t…don’t do this Costia. Do not speak in anger. You’ll regret it later. Just…maybe its best if you leave now.” Lexa had closed her eyes and tried calming the panic and pain and nausea.

 

“Look at you…the perfect example of restraint huh? You’re a fucking killer Lexa. Don’t you know that's the exact opposite of restraint??”

 

Lexa was minutes away from hyperventilating.

 

“Please Costia…please…just go before we make this any worse. I’m not perfect. No one is but I didn’t sign up for a wife who doesn’t believe in monogamy.”

 

“Oh fuck you Lexa! I needed him to fuck me. God knows you weren’t gonna do it!”

 

“I’m sorry our jobs and planning the wedding got in the way of our sex life but that’s the only apology you’re gonna get from me. I will own up to my mistakes…I haven’t heard you do that yet.”

 

“Maybe because the real mistake was wasting my time with you for 5 years instead of finding someone that has a real future. You have no college degree, no special talents other than being a skilled killer. You have no car, no place of your own, and you’re mentally unstable! Jesus Christ Lexa! I’m practically a saint for taking on that shit for this long!”

 

“Ok then saint Costia, I have recognized your glorious acts of sainthood. I therefore canonize you and you are now free to go.”

 

Lexa remembers feeling the anger begin to build and take over in that moment and her voice steadily grew louder as she spoke.

 

Suddenly the bilious sensation that had filled her chest and esophagus vanished and her features relaxed resting on the perfect line of Lexa’s strong shoulders, as she stood at the position of parade rest as she had been taught during basic training, showing Costia a profile devoid of all emotion.

 

“Now get the FUCK OUT of my sister’s house and OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE! I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!”

 

Lexa was just able to fight back her quickly rising gorge as she pointed at the front door of her sister’s house.

 

There was a look of deep remorse on Costia’s face as Lexa shouted at her.

Costia had known Lexa long enough to understand that she never spoke in anger so every word she spoke in that moment was the truth. This was the end no matter how hard she begged.

 

The look in Costia’s eyes reflected anxiety and automatic submissiveness.

 

“L Lexa…it meant nothing…you have to believe me…” Costia’s voice had been whiny and pleading and down right pathetic.

 

“ENOUGH!” Lexa finally bellowed.

 

The mask had been locked into place. The commander had arrived. Lexa took a few seconds to control the volume of her voice and then spoke again at the cowering woman she had been ready to give her entire life to.

 

“Come here Costia…” Lexa commanded calmly. So calm in fact that when she saw the goose bumps on Costia’s soft tanned arms and the look of pure lust in her eyes the sickness returned immediately punching her right underneath her solar plexus stealing her breath.

 

To this day, Lexa still couldn’t believe how in the midst of something so traumatic and devastating, Costia was actually turned on by her controlling tone and manner. It disgusted her to no end and she did nothing to hide her disgust once she recognized what she was looking at.

 

“Give me the ring Costia.” Lexa gritted out between her teeth dangerously near her breaking point.

 

Lexa watched as Costia’s expression turned from lust filled to confused and then crest fallen.

 

“B But….I….” Costia’s voice now down to a whisper just added to the anger brewing in Lexa’s stomach.

 

She was angry that she let herself believe this woman could truly love her and only her for the rest of their shared lives.

 

She was angry that she was going to have to face a reminder of the image she walked in on everyday for the rest of her career.

 

She was gutted by the truth. All the painful truth that had spewed from Costia’s mouth and even worse at the possibility that she had hid her true feelings for who knows how long.

 

But mostly, at that moment, she was angry that the woman she had allowed to take root in her heart and with her family was nothing but a self centered asshole that actually thought she could get one last revenge fuck in before she walked out of her life forever.

 

Costia had reached out to touch her then and Lexa’s movements were so quick that Costia was startled into a small yelp. Her lips slightly parted and the haze of lust back in her eyes in full force faster than a crack of a whip.

 

Lexa grabbed her wrist firmly but not enough to inflict pain and yanked the ring off Costia’s finger herself. The feeling of undoing what had been done. The feeling of slipping off a symbol of infinite love where she had not long ago slipped it on in the same manner was so devastating it pierced through the center of her being like a spear entering her body clear through and exiting her back.

 

Lexa willed herself to remain calm just long enough for Costia to exit the front door. Her face grew into an unrecognizable grimace when she dismissed her ex fiancé for the last time.

 

“GET! OUT!” she growled causing Costia to flinch.

 

One last effort to argue was quickly quieted with one raise of Lexa’s hand. Thinking back on it Lexa was surprised at how easy it was to control Costia when using a commanding tone with her. She had never taken that tone with anyone outside of Afghanistan or Iraq.

 

When Costia finally walked out the door Lexa watched the steps she took and the space between the door and the doorframe quickly get smaller as it slid closed behind her ex lover.

 

Lexa stood, frigidity seizing her muscles and all brain function screeching to a halt. Breathing softly unmoving and looking at nothing but the white paint of Anya’s door.

 

This is how a grotesquely pregnant Anya found her when she returned home waddling through the same door that had slammed shut on Lexa’s heart only an hour prior successfully ending a chapter of her life while simultaneously crippling her heart beyond repair.

 

Anya knew right away that something was terribly wrong. The emptiness in her little sister’s eyes. The ashen nature of her complexion. Engagement ring clutched tightly in her left hand and the frantic sobbing sound that finally emerged once Anya had succeeded in waking Lexa from whatever spatial place in the galaxy of her sister’s beautiful brain she had escaped to temporarily as a defense mechanism.

 

It had taken the young police officer a full mental break and a recovery period to get back to a semi functional life and she intended not to ever allow herself to begin going in that same direction again.

 

Which is why now, 3 years later, Lexa stuck to her rules like she stuck to her Marine Corps regimen while on deployment. She made it out of the sand in one piece and she was determined to do the same after her failed attempt at marriage.

 

Lexa’s normal thought process during her many meaningless sexual escapades involved nothing but limitations, time constraints and absolute control at all times since that day Costia listed all the ways she was not adequate.

 

With every sexual encounter that piled up like tick marks on a bed post, Lexa proved her adequacy in bed to herself and to countless lovers 100 times over and for one night she was ok again until the next. It was a safe kind of life sticking to the outer territories of intimacy and trust.

 

She made a name for herself in her line of work because of an unmatched fearlessness that she possessed. Where others would hesitate she would surge forward. Where others would stop to find an alternate route she would jump right in.

 

There was nothing and no one in her life to hold her back anymore. Lexa had embraced a raw abandonment of self-preservation. There was nothing to attach her to this life of pain and darkness and nightmares. Suicide requires a desire to end the pain. Lexa desired nothing but a need to feel alive. So she pushed life to the very edge of extreme. She straddled the line and tried hanging on for as long as she could as determined and agile as the bravest bull rider. Adrenalin was her only thrill now. Adrenaline and meaningless sex.

Every day since, Lexa has met every challenge with vigor and has set strict limits on the only thing she knows could still possibly destroy her. Love. Real love.

 

But now…. Limits seemed a thing of the past as limitless ways to devour the curvaceous wonder that stood before her were short circuiting Lexa’s brain with every soft exploration of two eager mouths and every small breathy moan that tumbled desperately from the doctor’s lips.

   

When she observed Clarke on the edge of her bed panting softly and body on fire, she pushed all other pressing matters out of her head except for one that she seemed to have no control over.

 

 _I’ve felt this before but not near this strong. Not even close._  

 

She heard Clarke moan and curse even before she was fully unclothed and the look of pure feral hunger taking up space on the blondes gorgeous face was enough to turn Lexa’s knees to jelly when she was met with it head on after lifting her sports bra over her head.

 

“You…are fucking….incredible Lexa.”  Clarke gasped when they managed to make eye contact again.  

 

Lexa only stared back and made her way over to the bed. Clarke fumbled with the button on Lexa’s chinos until the brunette lent a helping hand and soon they were discarded in the pile of clothing she had left in her wake.

 

Lexa gently took Clarke’s face into her hands and lightly ran a thumb over her dimpled chin.

 

Clarke closed her eyes inhaling deeply as she tried to calm the overflow of emotions overwhelming her body at this simple gesture.  Obeisant in nature even as Lexa stood above her; regal posture, looking down at her with half lidded eyes only, mouth slightly parted, panting quickly and quietly.

 

Clarke looked on in amazement at the divinity of Lexa’s aura. Her mere presence before had caused Clarke to feel unfocused, fuzzy and even inadequate at times just standing in her vicinity. Never having witnessed beauty this pure. The sharp but feminine curves of Lexa’s bone structure. The perfect line of her petite nose. The lovely round almond shape of her captivating and expressive light green, sometimes blue sometimes gray eyes. The pillowy, softness of Lexa’s lips.

 

_HER…FUCKING….LIPS…._

 

From the first moment the two connected their lips, tentative and exploratory and gentle Clarke had experienced a fusillade of frantic heart beats so high in her throat she swore she was gifting her heart to Lexa ounce by ounce every time she opened her mouth to partake in a sweet lingering kiss.

 

Clarke felt more naked than she had ever felt before under this watchful gaze even as she sat still fully clothed feeling like the most beautiful thing to ever exist instead of the overworked and haggard young woman she loathingly gazed at in the mirror when she awoke after a full 8 hours of mid day sleep still exhausted from her previous shift.

 

Lexa didn’t move to undress her immediately or pounce on her or grope her, she went in for a tender caress of a feature that Clarke can honestly say no other person has even cared to notice before now.  Yet it was as if Lexa couldn’t wait to feel the slight curve of the delicate dimple dip under the sworls of her thumb.  

 

The gentle care she took and the warm intense look in her eyes sent a shiver up Clarke’s spine. Lexa's other hand was immersed in Clarke’s rich golden locks framing her gorgeous face.

 

Heavy labored breaths were exchanged in a mirrored cadence from below and above. The want evident in the speed and intensity of each inhale and exhale. Lexa hungrily licked her lips as she watched Clarke push the thumb exploring a dimpled chin into her mouth with a desperate jerking movement, turning her face into Lexa’s warm calloused palm.  

 

Lexa hissed cursing quietly.  The warm and wet sensation inside the blonde’s soft and hungry mouth matched the powerfully aching feeling growing between Lexa’s legs.

 

She allowed Clarke to lightly suck and roll her tongue over the digit for a few seconds.  Just long enough for the need to connect their mouths became too much to ignore and then she was lifting Clarke’s face and slightly bending her torso to meet her in a firm but not overly aggressive kiss.

 

Their lips stayed connected as Lexa gently lead Clarke to stand in front of her. Lexa’s fervent and eager intention was to rid the blonde of her dress and unwrap the gift she was itching to get her hands on.

 

Clarke postponed Lexa’s plans momentarily when she immediately began running hungry and desperate hands over the brunette’s exposed torso.

 

Lexa put her own desperation on hold for the moment growing more and more heated at the delicious feeling of Clarke’s fingers roaming her burning skin.  From her breasts, over her rippling abdominal area to the hem of her heather gray Nike pro compression shorts that sat so low on her hips they barely covered the beginning of her throbbing sex.

 

“Oh fuck…I’m not sure if I can stop groping you long enough for you to fuck me…”  Clarke’s voice quivered with a frenzied desire causing a tiny whimper to make its way out of Lexa’s throat.

 

The blonde locked her eyes on to Lexa’s dark green gaze as she ran her fingertips over the brunette’s tanned v lines.

 

“You don’t have to stop. You can still do that while I fuck you.”  Lexa consented softly, confidently.

 

Her warm breath tickling Clarke’s lips as they stood only inches apart. Lexa watched, eyelids heavy with the weight of her desire. Clarke’s eyes turned from soft and glazed over to feral hunger in a matter of seconds.

 

Clarke hummed desperately and closed her eyes biting her lip.  Lexa leaned forward connecting their mouths until Clarke opened up to let her in.  When they broke apart again breathing heavily, Clarke’s trembling and rough voice made Lexa’s knees buckle.

 

“Lexa…your body…God….like…fucking seriously?”  

 

Clarke’s low growl of arousal pleasantly rumbled peircing right through Lexa’s chest causing the brunette to bite her lip to hold back a groan. Clarke’s voice was a constant reminder of the throbbing mess between her legs and Lexa both loved and loathed it. The rough gravel in the blonde’s voice was down right indignant as she inquired about this outrageously insulting mass of flesh and bone Lexa called a body.  As if the brunette was deliberately using it against her in a cruel form of jest.

 

Lexa’s eyes blazed a trail across thick eyebrows and gorgeous delicate features feeling her heart flutter. Clarke was fully dressed and Lexa was still having a very difficult time remembering that she was not just a spectator in this. The realization of being a chosen participant in this moment rendered Lexa speechless and dizzy causing her to swoon lazily like a reed caught in a summer breeze.

 

When she regained her bearings, the desire to feel and taste and smell and experience Clarke jolted her lithe body into action and she could wait no longer. She reached down with trembling hands and quickly lifted Clarke’s dress over her head tossing it behind her without a second thought.

 

Lexa then stood admiring the glorious luminous moon kissed skin she had only dared to imagine before this moment. The seductive yet vulnerable look in Clarke’s darkened eyes only magnified the awesome nature of her beauty.

 

“Clarke….” Lexa croaked breathlessly

 

Clarke couldn’t speak or comment or move. She quivered under the primal gaze and whimpered softly.

 

“You’re fucking perfect….” Lexa declared so quietly Clarke wasn’t quite sure if the admission was meant to be heard out loud.

 

Lexa didn’t give Clarke long to contemplate the possibility. She immediately pulled the blonde close. Matching black lace bra and tiny boy shorts scraping pleasantly against Lexa’s tanned skin at the first collision.

 

Both women moved completely in sync slotting lips and tongue, giving and taking effortlessly as if they had been standing in this moment in a hundred other lifetimes. The sequence of events meeting in a perfect parallel all at once creating an echo over time and space.

 

Lexa held Clarke with one hand on the back of her neck and the other splayed over one ass cheek squeezing lightly while still pulling her firmly into her own hips.

 

Silky smooth marble yielded against firm, scarred tight skin over rock hard muscle causing both women to moan loudly together as they connected lips once more.

 

Lexa allowed Clarke to continue running her hands all over her body. Soft delicate touches kissing the outline of the tattoos that were visible from this angle on Lexa’s body.

 

The tribal style piece representing her ancestors’ clan decorating her right bicep. The gorgeous and fierce gaze and torso of the Greek goddess Athena holding a short sword in grayscale on the left side of her body over her ribs and slightly hugging the beginning of her left v line leading to Lexa’s most intimate parts.

 

Lexa exploring the blonde’s flawless body with equal fervor. Endless valleys and mouth watering dips curving and swooping remarkably. Marked only with the glowing quality of well-moisturized and healthy luxuriousness that results from a woman taking amazing care of her body.

 

_She must spend hours rubbing some sort of moisturizer into this skin….FUCK_

 

And then it happened.  The unavoidable.

 

This moment that Lexa should have been prepared for.

 

But the brunette had been so wrapped up in the uncontrollable sensation of ecstasy with such a stunning female specimen that not only was she caught unaware by the sudden shift in the atmosphere, but it also took her a while to actually realize exactly what caused it. Clarke froze involuntarily hiccupping with surprise and horror.

 

Lexa jerked her eyes open but only saw Clarke quickly drop once more to a sitting position at the edge of the bed.

 

Lexa cursed her body for forcing her to have to go deeper than carnal desire every time she took off her clothing.  

 

Lexa’s body was littered with scars.

 

Most were spread across large areas of skin on her muscular back as if she had been caught in the middle of a spontaneous acid rain and had hunched her back, curling her body into herself to protect her most vital organs.

 

After several convoys that ended in bloodshed and more than a few firefights that stemmed from said convoys while on deployment, Lexa wished the acid rain explanation was actually the truth. Then at least she wouldn’t have had to bite into a thick piece of leather as each piece of shrapnel and lead was carefully extricated from her sweat-slicked body.

 

Some scars were blatantly obvious but all (at least on her back) strategically and intricately covered by tattoos designed by one of the best in the business specifically for Lexa. At this point she was sure her tattoo artist knew more about the scars on her body than any woman that had seen her naked.

 

This thick and ominous footprint of her past however was the only mark that Lexa had not quite figured out how to cover with out covering her entire abdominal area with another huge piece.

 

There had been a few women who had attempted to inquire about scars on her body before but Lexa had been able to easily persuade them that bedtime didn’t mean story time.

 

But she knew with one look into the stormy cerulean utopia swirling in Clarke’s eyes beneath her that this encounter and this woman was a game changer. Lexa knew she couldn’t keep anything from Clarke whether she inquired or not and that terrified her.

 

Yet despite the fear, she still remained stock still in her position allowing the blonde to observe her body now with the keen eye of a very talented surgeon and not a soon to be lover.

It was terrifying and intoxicating.

 

Lexa observed the widening of her half lidded eyes lined with gorgeous thick eyelashes.  The look of realization laced with horror.  The slight vertical furrow appearing between thick eyebrows and the matching horizontal wrinkle on her silky smooth forehead. The sharp intake and then double hitch of breath entering and exiting pink half opened lips now from shock rather than arousal.  

 

_Fuck I haven’t even made her cum yet and this already feels like a roller coaster of emotions._

 

There was no need for Lexa to visually confirm what Clarke had discovered.  There was no need to refresh her memory. Even if Lexa removed her brain from her skull the immense pain of the bullet entering her flesh and muscle and passing through her body missing major arteries and lungs and bone would still remain. It wasn’t an event that existed only in her subconscious but a moment that she still felt down to the fibers of her very soul as every other scar her body was marked with.  

 

And some mornings before the sun was even beginning its ascent in the sky that’s exactly how it played out. She rose drenched in sweat from her bed already in the middle of a scream that she must’ve inhaled deeply to release although she never remembered.

 

The scream would continue spewing from her like vomit burning her throat raw as if she had been screaming all night. Some mornings she wondered if she really had been screaming all night. Her body wept on a loop still trying desperately to heal itself.

 

That small foreign object introduced itself into her life and never really left although the exit wound proved otherwise.  It had finally healed thick and slightly raised like a splotch of brail begging to be skimmed over by the very fingertips grazing over it now.  The skin slightly darker in pigment and the only blemish disrupting the otherwise flawless skin on her abdomen.

 

Clarke had stumbled onto something that was going to expose the brunette way more than any removal of clothing ever could. Clarke felt a mixture of horror and immense concern and yes arousal. The quicker she admitted that to herself the better because it was part of the reason she was so drawn to this woman.

 

So invincible yet so fragile.

 

She could see that as easily as Lexa had ruined her underwear even before she touched or kissed her. Lexa had become this absolutely irresistible phenomenon in Clarke’s life and there was no stopping it now no matter how afraid Clarke was of letting herself go too deep too fast.

 

Clarke studied the sign the bullet left behind under her slightly trembling hands like a tracker searching for a fugitive. The scars of a physically and emotionally painful past were on display raw and open and hard to ignore like gouges in an artist’s canvas.

 

Lexa was about to reveal the anatomy of a gunshot wound to Clarke in a way she had never experienced. Not from a medical professionals perspective but from the point of view of a gun shot victim and survivor. Lexa was once again going to open her eyes to a whole new perspective.

 

_Yea and by the end of the night she will have opened a lot more than my eyes._

This fleeting thought normally would’ve caused Clarke to burst out in billowing laughter but her recent discovery was so sobering that not even a small chuckle came to fruition.

 

Suddenly all the small signs began to make sense to her. The anxiety first and foremost. Even when Clarke wanted to ignore the medication Lexa took that day in the break room when she first spoke to her alone, she knew exactly why Lexa had needed it and what it was for. Clarke was also becoming aware of the fact that there was only so much her heart would let her ignore when it came to Lexa.

 

The guarded eyes of the young officer even when revealing small things she was still so formal. Reserved to the point that could be mistaken for cold indifference. An emotionless expression always adorning her delicate stunning features like a forest green screen saver on a computer. Blank and stoic.

 

Her speech always clipped and carefully measured as if every word had to be painfully scrutinized before she spoke. And it was. The way Lexa carried herself was always so tightly kempt and buttoned up behind the commander mask. Professional, proper and in control.

 

Her gorgeous clear green eyes although very expressive, constantly flicked from wall to wall of any building or room or hallway she may be standing in. Never off her guard. Always expecting something to happen. Always ready for confrontation. Taking it all in stride. Keeping everyone literally and figuratively at one arms distance.

 

Never resting her watchful trained eyes on one point of interest for very long until this very moment. The feeling of being the sole interest of those alluring green eyes was so intoxicating that Clarke had to fight a bout of sudden dizziness blinking her eyes as small black spots swam in front of her.

 

This scar was more than a physical blemish on the surface of a six pack that had made Clarke’s mouth water at first sight. It was a small ominous reminder.  A threat.  A promise that life is as fragile and fleeting as the quick seconds it takes a bullet to travel through flesh and blood.

 

After a quick assessment Clarke was able to determine that this particular scar was from a wound that no doubt caused a near death experience.  She is well versed in all types of gun shot wounds, as she should be after 3 years in the hopsital’s residency program. A city with a population of 8 million and a hospital in one of the areas in the city with a high crime rate guaranteed fresh gun shot victims at least once every two weeks and sometimes more.

 

The proximity of this bullet to major organs, lungs, ribs and spine was way too close for comfort but Lexa fortunately lived and worked in one of the best cities when it came to trauma facilities and miracle working surgeons. Clarke’s mother being one of the elite in this category.

 

Of course there are always exceptions. But in the end it all boiled down to blood loss, ETA to the hospital and bullet trajectory.  Clarke quickly but carefully moved her hands around Lexa’s waist to search for the matching scar that would indicate a point of exit.  

 

Clarke’s fingertips are drops of searing hot oil on the surface of Lexa’s skin and all of the tiny hairs on her torso are standing on end as goose bumps ripple over her body in a powerful wave.  Her nipples are peaked and so sensitive as a result that even a small breeze would stimulate them at this point. Lexa doesn’t try to mask the subtle jerk of her body when another wave of arousal hits and recedes. 

 

Clarke’s talented fingers graze softly over the slightly larger exit wound scar and then she’s looking back up into Lexa’s eyes.

 

“Lexa?”  She whispers her voice shaky with an unasked question she already knows the answer to.

 

Clarke doesn’t want to probe too deeply into a memory that might be way too traumatic to recount but she also desperately wants to know everything there is to know about this truly extraordinary beauty that she has so fortuitously caught in her web.

 

Lexa nods silently and reverently standing above her as she looks from Clarke’s eyes to her lips. She takes a few seconds to observe Clarke’s features in the small strands of light from the blacked out windows as the sun hangs low and pregnant with glowing orange and crimson dye making its very last appearance in the quickly fading blue sky.

 

 “It was a 9mil at close range.  I know Clarke.”  Lexa sighs softly.

 

“I know I was lucky that day but I’m feeling pretty lucky right now too.”

 

Lexa’s barely there smirk disappears when Clarke leans forward placing her soft warm, slightly moist lips right over the scar tissue and lets the feather light kiss linger for a few seconds.

 

Lexa’s moan is loud and involuntary causing Clarke to dig her nails into her waist line near the top of her underwear.  Lexa is shocked at the sound of her own voice as she has never been forced into a moan before and she curses herself for relinquishing control.

 

Lexa knows when her eyes meet Clarke’s again that the soft look of adoration that she finds there is undoubtedly being reflected in her own eyes.  She’s weak in the knees and perilous to stop it.  The small gesture was so out of the ordinary for the police sergeant and she is utterly shocked that something that seems so small and even expected really isn’t at all.

 

She briefly wonders if Clarke will react similarly to all the other small scars her body is pocked with from all the shards of blood thinning shrapnel that embedded themselves into the surface of her skin.

 

And of course the scar from the other bullet that would’ve probably had her bound to a wheel chair for the rest of her life.  That bullet exploding into her back was so unbelievably horrifying that she literally filled her pants with urine as she lay face down in the sands of Tikrit waiting to die.

 

But these thoughts quickly flit in and out of her brain as fast as the 9mil bullet and then she is gently pulling Clarke up to stand in front of her once more.

 

Lexa holds Clarke firmly around the waist and before she even knows she’s speaking and putting their combined release on hold once more.

 

“I have n night terrors…”

 

Lexa stutters and curses quietly under her breath shocked at her uncharacteristic lack of control.

 

_What in the FUCK is wrong with me? I’m never gonna get any_

Lexa’s voice was little more than a whisper. Just loud enough for Clarke to register that the well sculpted brunette was attempting to communicate. Clarke met Lexa’s eyes and understood that something heavy and profound was on the tip of her lover’s tongue.

 

Forest green deep with arousal now also teeming with panic and drowning in fear. The rush of intensity in those eyes causing a shallow breath to hitch in Clarke’s throat.

 

Clarke slowly leaned forward resting her forehead against Lexa’s establishing a firm grip on the sergeant’s hand. She met that frantically panicked look in Lexa’s eyes with what she hoped was the most reassuring look she could muster.

 

Lexa took a shaky breath and closed her eyes reveling in the warm firm grip of the blonde’s soft hand entwined with her own and inhaling the sweet smell of her body and hair. Lexa remained quiet.

 

Clarke brought the carefully manicured hand contrasted with webs of scar tissue up to her warm lips. After years of conditioning, Lexa’s knuckles are bulbous and larger than average. Layers of calcium deposits have set in over the surface of Lexa’s knuckles and under her tough skin to heal whatever damage she has inflicted over the years.

 

Judging from the size of the small mounds under her lips, Clarke knows that Lexa’s punch has to be as hard as a sledge hammer by now. The blonde feels a shiver slither through her body and the fresh arousal pooling low in her stomach results in even more evidence to soak through her very thin and very ruined underwear at the thought of Lexa’s undeniable strength.

 

The gorgeous flowing shape of Lexa’s body rivals any Clarke has ever seen on the covers of the anatomy books she spent countless hours pouring over during her time at med school and the scar tissue the young officer’s skin is littered with weakens the strength in Clarke’s knees at the thought of the amazing things this one woman has survived and accomplished in her life.

 

Knuckles that have broken larynx, splintered noses, unhinged jaws, dealt mortal blows to solar plexus, attached to nimble fingers that have wrapped around countless deadly weapons both edged and semi or fully automatic, rendered completely docile and disarmed as if Clarke’s healing, forgiving, worshipping lips are a knife cutting the wires to a ticking time bomb.

 

Lexa continued speaking before Clarke could even detach her lips.

 

“You wanted to know why I’m alone…I choose to be but I’m also not what I appear to be on the outside.”

 

“O.k. baby, but seriously, NO ONE is…” Clarke interjected before Lexa could continue.

 

Lexa regarded her once more, taking in the sincerity of the blonde’s expression and trying to assess the genuine nature of those captivating blues.

“I uh…I’m sorry I just…I’m not the kind of person that says its too soon to open up about my condition and then turn around and jump right into bed with you. It’s not right and it’s not fair to you. I um…”

Lexa’s eye contact faltered with a shifty flit of her dilated pupils and then returned back to the electricity of blue where they held steadfast and firm.

 

“I respect you Clarke and I’m not some fucking coward that would use my vulnerability to get you into bed and take everything you’re willing to give without offering anything in return. That’s vile and disgusting.”

 

“Well you weren’t the only one jumping sweetheart trust me. I was practically nose diving into your bed. Actually hoping to nose dive between your legs too by the end of the night…”

 

Clarke quipped smiling suggestively and biting her lip trying to ease the thick tension that had fallen over them like a dark impenetrable shroud.

 

Clarke heard a rusty chuckle squeeze its way out of Lexa’s throat nearly closed off in fear and her heart clenched in her chest at the hauntingly beautiful sound.

 

_Jesus, try to hold it together Clarke_

 

Lexa couldn’t believe that she was standing half naked in front of this divine beauty exposed in all aspects of the word and that same beauty could still make her laugh.

 

Clarke kissed Lexa’s hand again.

 

“I’m listening Lexa. Whenever you’re ready. It doesn’t have to be now. I’d never judge you and I’d never betray your trust.”

 

The two women began situating themselves in bed together under Lexa’s thick fur like blankets. Lexa clicked on the warm flickering string of small lanterns that hung across the top of the headboard of her king sized bed and continued on the wall behind. They both settled in facing each other and began mentally preparing themselves for an emotionally taxing conversation.

 

Lexa began explaining the individually complicated side effects of her condition.

 

She explained how every person who suffers from PTSD suffers differently and for different reasons.  

 

How depression paralyzes her out of nowhere.

 

How her memory loss is so massive and deteriorating that she forgets huge chunks of events that have occurred in her life or conversations that she’s had. So much so that it’s been 5 years since she has taken to writing everything down in a small note pad she carries with her on and off duty.

 

The paranoia and anger and self-destructive behavior. The flash backs and aversion to fireworks and how she had to return a surround sound system she was gifted after it did its job way too well and she swore there were AK 47 bullets wizzing by her ear.

 

Lexa briefly describes an incident in which she blacked out in her own home only to wake up the next morning thinking that someone must have burglarized her home while she slept only to find out that her home had to have been ransacked by her own hand when she confirmed that there was no forced entry of any kind. Lexa conveniently left out the extent of the destruction she caused to her home and Clarke didn’t ask. Clarke absorbed and nodded occasionally never letting go of Lexa’s hand.

 

Lexa explains how she nearly resigned from the PD but underwent extensive therapy instead and has greatly improved since then but still suffers from symptoms. She left out the reason for her desire to resign in the first place but that part of her story was something she was going to avoid revealing for as long as she could.

 

“Which is why after all this time I’m still single. No woman is interested in dealing with these types of issues. I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t believe a woman if she told me she IS wiling to deal with it either. Either way, the last thing I want to be is a burden. It’s a simple fact of life. I wish all the happiness in the world to others who have found solace in their partners who truly love them but that isn’t for me. I don’t believe in that. I choose solitary safety.”

 

“Can I…?’ Clarke’s eyebrows scrunch in question as she lays a hand firmly on Lexa’s waist and gently tugs. Lexa nods her head consenting not knowing exactly what she is consenting to.

 

The jaded cop was rewarded with a warm curvaceous body tucked into her tight and deliciously flush. Chest to chest, legs intertwined, face buried in her neck and arms circled low on her waist.

 

A small smile graces Lexa’s full lips at the sensation of Clarke inhaling greedily before letting out the most adorable purr like sigh.

 

“What do you not believe in Lexa?”

 

Clarke inquired in a soft and content lilt of her raspy voice semi muffled into Lexa’s neck. The fluttering of lips against sensitive skin causing goose bumps to ripple to the surface with every word she spoke.

 

The intimacy of two bodies not yet bonded in consummation should’ve felt foreign but for these two women felt as natural as embracing their own bodies against a sweeping bitter gust of wind. Comforting and warm.

 

“True love. It’s a nice concept. It really is but in my situation wholly unrealistic.”

 

“Wow…” Clarke remarked quietly pausing to gather just the right response.

 

She decided to keep it light. There was a deep raging pain that lived within the woman she was pressed half naked against and Clarke knew not to push her luck. Lexa had opened up enough for one night.

 

“Never heard such an intelligent gorgeous woman speak such bullshit so eloquently.”

 

Lexa guffawed before she could control the outburst. Her abs flexing and the warm solidity of her lithe form vibrating pleasantly against the delicious slopes of the blonde against her.

 

“I actually had a woman tell me once that she was in love with my mouth. Now THAT I believe!” Lexa replied cockily.

 

 _Jesus Christ you haven_ _’_ _t even fucked me yet and I think I MAY be in love with your mouth_

Clarke bit her lip and hid her grin. She pulled back to look Lexa in the eye quirking one eyebrow before she asked

 

“Was she in love with your oratory or your ORAL….. abilities?”

 

Lexa laughed again shaking her head and leaning in to meet Clarke’s forehead still maintaining a mischievous smile that made Clarke’s stomach swoop low like the heavy swing of a pendulum.

 

“I guess you’ll find out soon enough…that’s if you still want to…”

 

Lexa replied suddenly so gentle and soft that Clarke had to bite her tongue hard to keep from moaning. The air was thick with sexual tension once more it seemed in a matter of seconds and suddenly Clarke needed to be taken and soon.

 

“Fuck…” the blonde whispered in an unsteady gritty voice.

 

Lexa tilted her head back and lifted Clarke’s chin gently with two fingers on her left hand to look directly into two blacked out pupils. The two titanium rings on her long slender fingers glinted against the flickering of the warm lights.

 

“I’m going to make you come now Clarke.”

 

“Jesus Christ Lexa.” Clarke mewled and squirmed against the thrumming body she was pressed against.

 

She had never had any lover speak with such an air of confidence and control. Had never seen a woman this breath taking look at her with such feral hunger and reduce her to the desperate, whiny wretched version of the woman she once was. She felt dizzy with intoxication.

 

“Do I have your consent Sky Princess?” Clarke bit her lip and meant to laugh at the nickname but whimpered instead.

  

“I want to be sure of your full consent Clarke….otherwise….”

 

Clarke was nodding her head in the affirmative, bottom lip caught in her teeth, even before Lexa could finish explaining.

 

“Lexa…yes…” The blonde gasped desperately, unbelievably and uncharacteristically aroused.

 

 _Oh my GOD Clarke_ _…_ _who the fuck are you??_

 

Clarke’s trembling hands moved of their own accord down to the brunette’s firm breasts feeling Lexa’s rock hard nipples against the center of her palm.

Lexa’s eyes widened slightly in shock and her full pink lips parted slightly when she inhaled in a broken rhythm, heart ricocheting in her rib cage like a pinball.

 

“You have my consent _…_ _._ so…please….just….I need you to _FUCKING_ touch me….”

 

The blonde demanded grabbing Lexa’s hand and shoving it between her legs directly into the wet mess she had been diminished to.

 

Lexa groaned loudly snapping her head back. She felt Clarke’s trembling yet strong grip on her wrist remain in place desperately in fear of losing the contact again.

 

“FUCK me…” Clarke mewled emphasizing her plea by roughly thrusting Lexa’s wrist up and into her throbbing center and digging her short nails into Lexa’s skin when she felt the pressure on her aching clit.

 

The muscular warrior moved quickly and proficiently getting to her knees on the surface of the mattress and dealing out commands to her lover quickly.

 

“Come here Clarke.” She said leading the doctor to a kneeling position by taking her hands in her own and gently pulling her up.

 

“Take it all off for me prisa.”

 

Lexa commanded firmly once more practically melting Clarke with the commanding tone in her voice and the sound of the nickname rolling off her divine tongue.

 

Lexa’s laser sharp focus on every move of moon kissed skin as the lacey bra was yanked off half hazardly and underwear jerked down exposing herself for Lexa’s pleasure and consideration had Clarke nearly cumming on the spot.

 

Lexa’s heavy and quick breathing began filling the air around them. The experienced lover in her and the fierce warrior completely absent in the presence of unparalleled beauty. She felt the earth tilt on its axis and she swooned nearly losing her balance. Before the tanned woman could register anything outside of

 

 _Fuck. Hot. Delicious. Tits. Perfection. Skin_ _…_

 

She felt the blondes hands scrambling frantically near the waistband of her heather gray Nike pro compression shorts.

 

Clarke paused momentarily not wanting to go too far without making sure she had Lexa’s consent. When the brunette didn’t respond to her silent question, Clarke reached out and ran her fingertips across Lexa’s jaw line to get her attention.

 

Lexa drew in a sharp inhale of breath, startled at the caress.

 

“I…I…Lexa…”

 

Clarke could not form full sentences. Could barely function at all. Lexa seemed to finally click in understanding and she swallowed thickly before speaking.

 

“Take it off beautiful. If you want it…take it.”

 

“FUCK!”

 

Clarke growled quickly peeling the tight undergarment down and off Lexa’s defined, muscular thighs.

 

Before Clarke had a chance to admire anything underneath the last article of clothing she removed, Lexa was reaching low placing her hands underneath full creamy thighs and lifting the blonde's body with a powerful fluidity that had Clarke yelping out when she felt a few small seconds of airtime before gravity took hold landing her right where she wanted to be. Straddling Lexa.

 

Clarke scrambled for purchase on Lexa’s strong shoulders but soon forgot about anything as trivial as balance or gravity or air because Lexa had been so eager to lift Clarke that she over shot causing the blonde to land much higher up on her body than she had planned.

 

Clarke was now straddling Lexa’s upper torso which put the blonde’s hot and soaked pussy in direct contact with the six pack she had been drooling over since Lexa first unbuttoned her shirt to reveal the delicious sculpture underneath.

 

She felt a scream transform into a low moan leave her mouth and heard Lexa choke on her own lust filled cry at the amazing sensation in response.

 

Clarke had been expecting Lexa to be all control and power and in command in bed just as much as she had witnessed her demonstrate while in uniform but as she has learned so far, Lexa exceeds expectations by miles.  Wrecks through assumption. Forces pre conceived notions to concede to her.

 

The look in Lexa’s eyes as she quietly flexes her powerful bedroom prowess has reduced Clarke down to a submissive, throbbing disaster.  

 

If it was arrogance or indifference it would be different.  Clarke would be disgusted. She has dealt with men AND women spouting their self-aggrandizing, moronic histrionics her entire adult life.

It was the same regurgitation, which usually included a list of seemingly endless ways in which they could make her scream their name or have multiple orgasms.

 

None of them lived up to the hype.

 

The fact that Lexa didn’t need to talk about what she could do was enough communication in itself.

 

Lexa is all confidence and calculated touches and easy sensuality.  Its addicting and passion induced and mind numbing.  

 

Clarke is a mass of soaked, throbbing and aching skin to the very peak of her hard rose tinted nipples.

 

Lexa is commanding the series of events but allowing Clarke to dictate the timing. Giving her the freedom to express herself verbally and physically.

 

“Jesus…Christ Clarke….fuck….”  Lexa whispers.

 

Their lips meet with a mild sense of urgency and when their tongues touch they embrace and allow themselves to be carried away in the sensory overload that is a compelling prologue to a slow building explosion.

 

Clarke links her ankles around Lexa’s waist corded with muscle and veins and undulates against the hard surface of abs. The petite and feminine curve of Lexa’s hips providing the perfect notch for Clarke’s full thighs and smooth calves like fingers around the body of a Coca Cola bottle.

 

Clarke begins lightly licking and sucking Lexa’s lips as she continues pressing her hot pussy against the divine body between her legs and trembling at how dirty and delicious and sexy this whole series of events has turned out to be.

 

Both women are constantly shocked at how unbelievably gorgeous the other is.

 

The wavy thick and wild nature of Lexa’s flowing hair lightly bouncing and sliding between Clarke’s ivory fingers. The sight of pluperfection tripping up the beating of Clarke's heart as she pulls the breathtaking profile of her young lover toward her to connect their lips once more.

 

The fair skin of the blonde contrasted against a perfectly proportioned sculpture covered in brown sugar.

 

With every word or sound out of Clarke’s mouth, Lexa feels her soaked entrance throb with painfully aching arousal.

 

Lexa revels in the warmth and taste of Clarke’s flawless skin. Clarke’s pink engorged nipples are as soft and velvety as blushing pink peony petals splashed with midnight dew.

 

Lexa takes Clarke’s left nipple between her lips and flicks her tongue over it.  Clarke has plunged her hands into thick brown locks as she gasps softly and moans Lexa’s name.

 

Lexa has her eyes closed as she runs her tongue and teeth and lips across the warm weight of Clarke’s full delicious breasts which she is just now fully discovering and appreciating as she was so mesmerized with everything ABOVE Clarke’s chin that she had never noticed anything else before this moment.

 

Lexa suddenely registers movement in her periphery and is about to freeze and go into complete protective mode when she realizes it’s just their reflection. The reflection of their bodies welded together in the mirror of her dresser against the wall. They move languidly and desperately in the agony of uncontrollable ecstasy.

 

The sight is so erotically scintillating and so frantically aggressive that Lexa’s body physically jerks and something snaps in her even as she feels her eyes roll to the back of her head. A low gritty moan erupts from deep within her throat and then her body moves into action.

 

Lexa begins lifting Clarke’s body and pulling it down into her own abs roughly calling on the amazing strength of every core muscle she has meticulously developed during endless hours in the gym. Engaging these key core muscles means that Lexa’s abdomin becomes as solid as a flesh covered cinder block wall every single time Clarke’s body comes in contact with her. The blonde’s slick folds and throbbing clit slide easily across Lexa’s heated skin lubricated in the warmth of Clarke’s arousal like a rare form of exquisite oil.

 

“Oh fuck Lexa…oh god…oh FFFUUUCCCKKK!” Clarke screams out, flailing frantically and then falling into the rhythm Lexa has set.

 

Hot quick pants are whispering rhythmically against Lexa's ear. Lexa is all instinct and desire and 3 strokes into Clarke’s first orgasm.

 

Lexa buries her face in the soft skin of her lover’s neck and continues to support all of Clarke’s weight.  She has a strong grip on Clarke’s creamy white ass and she's digging small red crescents into her flesh every time she lifts and jerks the blonde’s body.  

 

Clarke’s movements are frantic. Soft, breathless whining has turned into grunts, growls and moans.

 

Lexa knows that Clarke is already close.  Every skyward lift of Clarke’s body creates a downward pull of gravity that Lexa uses to her advantage by moving with the force of the weight when Clarke’s body free falls.

 

Like most amazing lovers, Lexa has excellent rhythm and soon she is timing the free fall and stiffly sticking her tongue out so the tip runs over Clarke’s hardened nipples as they begin their descent before rebounding again.

 

Clarke feels the new sensation and it opens the floodgates to a litany of praise that begins spewing out of her mouth in broken sentences and full on filthy banter.

 

“GOD Dammit LExa….Fuckkkk…so good….baby fuck….so hot….oh fuck yes…”

 

Lexa looks up into Clarke’s dark blue eyes as she speaks wanting desperately to hear more. Wanting to make Clarke lose her mind. She maintains eye contact when she sucks Clarke’s nipple into her mouth again and still continues to lift her body in time.

 

“Oh God you’re so fucking good Lexa FUCK! You like my tits? Fuck…yes…Lexa…fuck…that’s right suck on them baby. Oh….F FFFUCK YES!”

 

Lexa moans against the nipple in her mouth. The culmination of raw beauty, sinfully voluptuous body and filthy words sending Lexa into a frenzy. She needed to take Clarke to a place she had never been. She was determined to push her past her limit.

 

“I’m gonna cum.. all over… your sexy fucking… body. Fuck Lexa… Lexa… OH God ughhh…you want my cum all over you?”

 

Clarke is past the point of delirium and already buzzing with what will easily be the quickest orgasm she has ever had.

 

The slippery evidence is spread across Lexa's torso and lap and the inside of Clarke’s thighs and she’s sure that it has even dripped onto the sheets beneath them.  

 

“Fuck…LEXA!”  Clarke cries, hips shaking in their movement just seconds away from an orgasm.

 

“Clarke…you’re so fucking hot...your pussy feels so good.” Lexa mumbles in between Clarke’s supple breasts where her face currently rests while she runs her tongue over the delicious mounds.

 

Lexa senses the cusp of Clarke’s orgasm teetering on the edge. She notices the vertiginous look in her lover’s eyes; unfocused, glazed over, mouth open and silent.

 

Lexa wraps her right arm under Clarke to pin her body against her own and grabs Clarke’s chin with her left hand jerking her head to the left forcing her to look at their combined reflection in the mirror.

 

“Look at yourself…You’re so fucking delicious…so fucking perfect…” Lexa mewls feeling Clarke’s hips shaking and still moving against her abs.

 

And then Clarke snaps.

 

A loud scream flows from Clarke’s mouth and morphs into an elongated moan that eventually fizzles out into a whimper. Her gorgeous thickness and breath taking body snaps back in a beautiful glowing arc.

 

Lexa re establishes her grip on Clarkes soft smooth ass and continues to pull Clarke’s wet core onto her own sweat slicked body. Lexa supports Clarke’s movements even as the blonde’s moan turns silent in the quivering after shocks of her explosive orgasm and her body is so rigid there is no pliancy to help the movements along.

 

The sight of their bodies sliding against each other resembling the delicious and sweet fusion of honey and milk is burned into the back of Clarke’s eyelids when her pupils hit the back of her skull and her head swims when her breath doesn’t enter or exit her lungs for an extended period of time.

 

Watching Clarke morph into a mumbling and bucking mess above her has Lexa’s insides burning slow like glowing embers dangerously hot just under the earth’s surface.

  

Lexa lifts Clarke’s body in, pulling their bodies flush giving the blonde some time to catch her breath. The light sheen of sweat on both of their bodies is causing them to slide deliciously against each other.  

 

Lexa has Clarke around the waist with one arm now and the other is running slowly and languidly back and forth on the side of Clarke’s thigh.  Lexa plants kisses along Clarke’s neckline not wanting to stop caressing her even for a second.

 

Clarke’s labored breathing and whimpers slow even as her body still shakes and jerks as she comes down from orgasmic bliss.  Their bodies reacting like an explosion of ocean spray crashing on to the jetties that is now receding back into tiny rippling waves rebounding off each other until they blend back in to themselves and connect once more in a wet languid kiss.  

 

Their tongues slither together and delve deeper into hungry mouths and then Clarke is smiling softly.  The smile soon turns into a dazed and sluggish laugh that is mostly muffled into Lexa’s mouth.  

 

Lexa pulls back to look at her lover with a small curve to her own lips wondering if there was anything besides bliss causing Clarke to giggle.

 

Clarke takes a moment to look into large gorgeous eyes that glimmer and flicker in soft warmth under the string of lights behind them. She bites her lip still grinning and giggles again.  Her cheeks are quickly tinting a beautiful apple red and she fights the urge to hide in Lexa’s neck.  

 

Lexa only regards her with an adoring amused look waiting for the punch line.

 

“That is the hottest thing that has ever happened to me.  I can’t believe I just came on your fucking six pack Lexa!”

 

Clarke all out giggles and the sound causes a shift in Lexa’s chest and she scoffs in embarrassment. Now its Lexa’s turn to fight the urge to hide her blush in Clarke’s neck.

 

“You’ve done that before haven’t you?  You…you’re abs….mmLexa you’re so fucking sexy I know this has happened before. I wouldn’t doubt it for a second.”  Clarke teases laughing again.

 

When Lexa looks away bashful and endearing avoiding eye contact Clarke finds it rather strange and bothersome that she actually feels a little disappointed that she isn’t the only one that has had her cum all over Lexa’s abs.  She internally scolds herself and is actually disgusted not only with the thought of other women in this same position but disgusted with herself for even caring.

 

“No.”  Lexa admits quietly and Clarke’s eyes snap back to Lexa’s face trying to lock on to her shy gaze.  

 

One look into Lexa’s timid and raw expression is enough to let her know that Lexa is telling the truth.  Clarke knows she’s in trouble when she feels an intense feeling of relief seize her chest and she knows she is already becoming addicted to this completely exposed version of Lexa.

 

“It..it was just an accident…a GOOD accident and it felt so fucking right that I just went with it.  I’m glad it felt good for you too.”

 

And then Clarke is all out laughing and burying her face in Lexa’s neck.  Lexa’s goofy grin is hidden for now and she nips Clarke’s shoulder playfully.

 

“Fuck Lexa….is there any part of your body that isn’t covered in a blanket of muscle?”  Clarke asks bringing her face out from hiding and watching as Lexa actually looks to be searching for an answer.

 

“My pussy lips?”  

 

Lexa more questions than answers, perfect eyebrows slightly raised skyward adorably to her ethereal fore head.

 

_She has to know how irresistible she is right? She has to know and even brag. I mean, how many panties does she drop a day!!_

 

And this time Clarke’s laugh is full and deep and gorgeous and the feeling of warmth and safety catches her off guard.  

 

 _I shouldn’t be feeling this comfortable…this fucking infatuated.  You are so fucked Clarke_.  

 

Lexa watches in awe as Clarke laughs and a beautiful dusting of cotton candy pink high in her cheeks grows until there are tiny tears at the corners of her watery shining blue eyes.

 

Lexa can’t help laughing along with her. The blonde’s laugh is so warm and adorable and infectious not to mention it packs a killer smile. Its like a swift punch to Lexa’s gut. 

 

Lexa decides that this is a moment she will remember after today along with the feeling of bodies clashing and tongues touching and taste buds dancing.  This tender moment sitting and smiling softly at Clarke’s gorgeous laughing face is one she will be hard pressed to forget.

 

_Fucking…exquisite_

 

Lexa’s heart somersaults in her chest when Clarke quiets but still smiles at her, the tip of her sweet soft tongue caught between her brilliantly white and perfectly straight teeth. The look in Clarke’s sparkling eyes shows eagerness and excitement and adoration and Lexa’s throat bobs as she swallows down the words she is saying in her head before its too late.

 

Instead she closes her eyes and kisses Clarke again.  

 

Soft and languid and heated.

 

Both allowing the rush of lust and excitement carry them away clutching on to one another and eliminating the unnecessary sense of sight. All other senses are heightened as they explore each other’s mouths in a whole new way using teeth and tongue and lips to inflict and partake in burning desire.

 

Arms and breasts and shoulders and eager trembling hands feeling the need and want and arousal under the surface of each other’s skin like a live wire eagerly buzzing its promise of shockingly explosive electricity.

 

Their lips switching and moving covering every angle and relishing in every warm, wet and sweet detail. Their noses lightly toughing and sliding and delicately bumping a mores code reply to the message their hearts have already transmitted on a loop at the first furious collision of their lips.

 

Lexa feels Clarke move her legs slightly to indicate that she wants to be put down. Lexa complies and when Clarke’s knees hit the bed Lexa feels warm fingertips trace along the line of the dripping wet entrance between her legs.

 

Lexa’s head snaps back and her body jerks violently. A mix between a choke and a moan leaves Lexa’s mouth and the sound of it is so unfamiliar that she would be ashamed if she could register anything but the pleasure exploding between her legs.

 

She reaches forward, hands quivering, desperately searching for something to clutch until she reaches the tops of Clarke’s shoulders and digs her dull nails into the soft pale skin she finds there.

 

Lexa’s half open mouth is uttering a litany of fragmented curse words and choking on every inhale of oxygen she’s so desperately trying to allow to reach her brain. Her eyes are shut so tight that a milky way appears behind her eyelids from the effort and the dizzy pleasure washing over her.

 

Lexa’s body and mind is conflicted.  Her hips buck up into Clarke’s attentive touch betraying what her brain is telling her.  

 

_NO….no touching…not like this…no…Oh God but…. Fuck…..she feels….so fucking good._

 

She feels her hands find the sides of Clarke’s face and then she’s plunging her tongue into the blue-eyed beauty’s moaning mouth. She can’t believe that Clarke has only just begun touching her and she is already feeling her body shiver with an oncoming orgasm. 

 

With the last resistance her body can muster, Lexa forces herself to still the bucking motion of her hips and she reaches down again to jerk Clarke’s body up as high as she can once more.

 

Lexa simultaneously sits back on her haunches and plunges one slender finger into Clarke’s soaking wet entrance as she remains holding her entire body pinned against her own waist with her free arm.

 

Clarke’s body goes rigid as she begins to wail bringing her hands up to Lexa’s strong shoulders again slamming a savagely aggressive mouth onto Lexa’s shoulder biting into skin like a rabid vampire.

 

Lexa hisses and half moans smirking at the delicious pain. She withdraws her finger slowly and thrusts in again but with less force.  She hears Clarke’s sharp intake of breath and feels her strong thighs close around her waist.

 

Lexa has always been less than efficient at measuring her own strength and in moments where she loses control of the mindless beast within, she knows she has to be very careful not to hurt those around her. This concern is flitting through her mind in this moment as she slightly softens her touch and reigns in her aggression.

 

She pulls her finger out once more and freezes seeing a whole new expression on Clarke’s face. Eyes that were once shut tight suddenly snap open. The gorgeous blue eyes of her lover are alight with frustration.

 

Lexa feels Clarke reach down putting her warm hand over the top of her own and guiding her back into her entrance shoving an extra finger along with the original digit. SHOVING is a precise definition. Clarke is so taught and slick and unequipped to fit two of Lexa’s fingers that the initial attempt at entry is unsuccessful.

 

Lexa is more than a little shocked when her own fingers dip in shallowly just to be literally spit out by Clarke’s entrance in a slippery anti suction reaction to the intrusive action.

 

Lexa holds her position understanding Clarke’s desires loud and clear. She is prepared to work her way in and more than patient enough to get the job done.

 

She slowly enters the Clarke’s cavernous treasure first with one finger as she had already done. She hears Clarke’s breath catch and a moan release into her ear as she penetrates just enough to get Clarke used to the feeling and ready her body for a wider girth.

 

Lexa moves slowly but her reach is deep and she can feel Clarke’s hips bucking up against her hand. She decides to introduce Clarke’s second chosen finger into the equation. The second attempt is slightly more successful than the last although the rejection is still evident.

 

“Claaarrrkkkeee….” Lexa moans into the blonde’s ear. The feeling of Clarke’s warm walls so tight around her fingers is driving Lexa crazy.

 

She bites down on Clarke’s shoulder for the sole purpose of shutting her own mouth to save her from further embarrassment. It seems that Lexa really isn’t in control at all. Not of her own body and definitely not of her own vocal chords.

 

“Please…don’t stop talking Lexa. I want to hear you…please.” Clarke pleads pulling Lexa’s face out from her neck and connecting their foreheads.

 

“Oh God….” Lexa whispers closing her eyes.

 

“You’re…so fucking exquisite….you’re gonna make me fucking destroy you. I don’t know how long I can hold back from fucking the light right out of your eyes.”

 

Clarke’s moan is loud and the scream that follows in reaction to Lexa’s fingers finally locked into her core knuckle deep only adds to Lexa’s insanity.

 

Lexa remains inside the impossibly small entrance of her lover as she lays her body gently down onto the rumpled sheets. Clarke has only a few seconds to be absolutely fascinated by the gentle touch of her lover, as it is contradictory to her nature outside of the bedroom before her mind is wiped clean when she’s being entered again.

 

As soon as Clarke’s back settles on the mattress Lexa begins thrusting in at a moderate pace delving in deep and hard, her hips moving against the back of her hand in time adding to the force and strength behind each stroke. The two fingers chosen by her lover are of such length and width together to provide the perfect amount of girth and reach.

 

“Oh God…oh fuck baby… fuck me....fuck me....don’t stop…don’t stop…FUCK LEXA!"  Clarke encourages, instructs, singing well deserved plaudits.

 

“Lexa…oh fuck you feel so good….fuck don’t…don’t…fucking….stop!”

 

Clarke feels her body come alive with shock waves of electricity. She feels gutted and full with each extraction and convulsion inspired insertion. The rings at the webbing of Lexa’s long deft fingers make contact just inside Clark’s entrance hitting her g spot repeatedly with abandon.

 

Clarke is feeling every thrust it seems with every single part of her tingling body all the way to the pin pricking sensation in the tips of her fingers and toes. Febrile rapture fills her pores and a darkness begins to cloud over her cerulean pupils seconds away from causing her to completely black out from the ineffable pleasure.

 

“fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme…mmmmFUCKkkkk….” Clarke growls low and guttural deep in her throat earning a soft panting moan from Lexa.

 

As many women as Lexa has pleasured this is truly something she has never witnessed. The words exit like precious pearls dripping from Clarke’s warm pink lips forcing Lexa into an unfamiliar state of being in which her own bodily needs have become so exceedingly overwhelming that a release will be an absolute necessity before the end of the night.

 

As Lexa has come to realize and accept this fact in her mind, Clarke’s eyes roll back and she comes hard without warning clamping down tight around Lexa’s fingers.  

 

Her full thighs are opened and almost completely flattened on the surface of the mattress. Her heels are hooked around the back of Lexa’s thighs and her short fingernails are now digging deep into the firm flesh of Lexa’s perfectly tanned ass cheeks.

 

Clarke’s body continues to undulate but her face is frozen in a silent open mouth expression of ecstasy.  The orgasm is strong and relentless as Lexa prolongs it continuing the relentless deep penetration.

 

“Breathe baby…that’s right…there you go gorgeous…breathe….” Clarke hears Lexa instruct in soothing tones.

 

Clarke is shocked not only at the rapid fire orgasms that she is experiencing but also the outrageous thoughts rolling around in her frantic brain every time she hurtles toward another orgasm.

 

She wants to be plundered and destroyed and to never feel empty again.

 

In her delirious pre and post and present coital state she wants Lexa to claim dominion over her body.

 

She wants Lexa to fuck her non-stop until her body can no longer take another orgasm. Clarke has never had a non-stop sexual experience through a full night and has never had a lover with the stamina to do so but in this moment she can think of nothing she wants more.

 

If given the chance she’d beg and plead on bended knee if necessary for the chance to know how it feels to have this specimen of perfection defile every part of her body in any way that it can possibly be defiled until the Texas sun is rising over the top of Lexa’s humble Houstonian neighborhood.

 

 _Clarke wtf is WRONG with you????_  

 

Lexa is slowing her strokes now and giving Clarke a moment to catch her breath. Lexa slides her tongue and lips and teeth up and down Clarke’s neck slow and soothing until her strokes eventually pause and she remains deeply seated within Clarke’s warm, tight fluttering walls.

 

When Lexa pulls back and looks into Clarke’s eyes the blonde’s expression is slightly frantic and still in a mild state of shock. A few seconds pass and then Clarke’s gorgeous blue eyes cloud over again in a new wave of lust when she feels Lexa’s fingers slip out from between their bodies. The blonde watches as her lover slowly inserts her slick talented fingers between her full pink lips holding eye contact the entire time until she closes her eyes and moans in ecstasy at the flavor coating her palate.

 

Clarke is just beginning to think that maybe she should slow this whole experience down just to revel in the beauty and power and strength of her lover and then Lexa is moving once again. Lexa is descending alabaster skin so quickly that Clarke only has a chance to utter a

 

“Oh….,my…..fucking…..”

 

and then Lexa’s sinfully gorgeous mouth is between her legs and Clarke’s body is once again an outline of a sunrise over the horizon arcing beautifully in the glow of a sleepy morning.

 

Lexa thrusts her face, from nose to chin, right into Clarke’s wet and waiting entrance. Clarke screams as Lexa rubs her face in her essence a few times before sucking her clit between her full lips gently and then nipping it softly before swirling her tongue to lift the hood.

 

“Oh God….” Clarke mewls desperately.

 

“Fuck…yes…don’t stop…” Clarke is panting out in fragmentations and undulating against Lexa’s mouth.

 

Lexa doesn’t try to pin her down but instead goes along with the movements. She is mesmerized by the sexy roll of the blonde’s delicious hips and the full thighs that rotate in small jerking circles as she pushes her lover to another white-hot release.

 

Lexa reaches up with both hands and runs her fingertips over Clarke’s nipples, pinching them and rolling them between her slightly calloused fingertips. Lexa doesn’t slow the movement of her tongue using a small tight circular motion to slither over the blonde’s clit.

 

The stimulation of Clarke’s nipples is enough to send her into another orgasm. Lexa doesn’t allow Clarke to recover even for a second after she crashes down from her high before she is thrusting two fingers into her cavernous warmth without detaching her lips from her clit.

 

Clarke has never been so turned on and so out of control in her whole life. She bucks into Lexa’s body trying to gain as much contact with tongue and fingers and lips as she can. Flashing lights appear behind her tightly shut eyes like a flash of fire in a pan and she can barely breath between grunts and moans and screams when Lexa roughly penetrates harder hitting a spot so deep it has her gasping for air and rolling her eyes back.

 

Lexa grabs Clarke’s flailing hands and puts them in her hair. Clarke doesn’t hesitate to grab on to the offered reigns desperately.

 

“Fuck me…yes…fuck me…don’t stop…fuck me commander….”

 

Clarke feels Lexa pick up the pace as she penetrates.

 

Lexa is hitting deep and hard and fast with every thrust and Clarke is screaming every single time she feels Lexa hit her g spot and when her slender fingers curl at the entrance of her cervix so deep inside her she feels like she’s carving her out from the inside. A loud and short barking scream accompanies this orgasm and Lexa knows that she doesn’t have much time before Clarke’s body won’t be able to take much more.

 

Clarke is surprised that she can actually physically function after so many orgasms but she musters every last measure of strength that her body has left when she gently pushes Lexa back by a hand to her chest and quickly flips over on her hands and knees.

Lexa whimpers in realization when she sees Clarke crawl over to the edge of the bed facing the mirror. Once Clarke has managed to place Lexa’s hand between her legs from behind she looks back at the brunette as she bites her lip and tells her exactly what she wants.

 

“Destroy my pussy baby. Make me feel it for days.”

 

Lexa matches the shaky desire in Clarke’s voice with a growl as she once again enters the blonde’s entrance with strong relentless fingers. As Lexa moves forward her slick pussy comes in contact with Clarke’s ass causing the blonde to jerk her entire body into an upright position on her knees.

 

“Oh Fuck yes Lexa…take it baby…fuck my pussy baby…take it…I wanna feel your cum on my ass baby FUCK!”

 

Lexa throws out any semblance of sanity and begins thrusting her fingers into Clarke’s pussy while savagely bucking her pussy into Clarke’s ass.

 

Both women are screaming now and the pleasure is so intense that they have both given up holding anything back. They’re movements are quick and frantic as the sounds of their bodies colliding, sliding, slamming and rolling into each other fills the air with slicking pops, slithering snaps and impacting slaps.

 

Lexa wraps an arm diagonally across the front of Clarke’s body to hold her in an upright position as she continues to viciously slam and grind into the blonde’s supple ass cheeks. Her left hand has begun to feel cramped and even numb in some areas but she never relents even penetrating harder than she had ever dared before when she registers in the thrusting of Clarke’s hips that this is what the blonde’s body is craving.

 

Clarke has one hand wrapped behind the back of Lexa’s neck and the other on one of Lexa’s ass cheeks as she pulls the young cop’s body against her and thrusts back, down and back up again in a circular motion contributing to the penetration and Lexa’s impending orgasm.

 

Lexa’s litany of moans and whimpers are crazed.  Kisses to the back and side of Clarke’s neck grow sloppy until Lexa is licking and biting rather than kissing as they both climb to a firey explosion. Clarke and Lexa are now singing a duet of ecstasy only egging the other on every time they hear each other.

 

Lexa begins sucking marks into the flawless skin on the side and back of Clarke’s neck. Another uncharacteristic action by the brunette but Clarke only encourages it by begging Lexa to mark her, to destroy her pussy and claim her ass.

 

Clarke comes first, dropping down into the mattress in front of Lexa and popping her hips back aggressively as she rides out her orgasm. She manages to keep her hand on Lexa’s ass and when Lexa comes against her, screaming her name, the blonde can feel the goose flesh ripple across the surface of Lexa’s ass.

 

Clarke's reflection is so compelling as she bursts into explosive release.  

Lexa has never before, even as adventerous as her sex life has been, seen something as erotic, and deliciously sexy as what she is witnessing now.  The poetic movement of luminous skin.  Divine body flowing powerfully and languidly in and slithering back out ending the rotation with a snapping jerk that connects right onto the painfully aching button between Lexa's legs.  The golden glow of Clarke's locks of hair waxing and waning in the warm flickering light as if the blonde herself were a lit candle on the surface of a lake in the dark of night.  

 

Lexa only has a few seconds of this reflective version of her own Zion before she's cresting the edge and plunging right over into her own orgasm.

 

Clarke moans and quickly snaps her eyes up with the last of her strength to witness Lexa’s gorgeous features break into a raw and completely exposed expression of release.

 

The sleek glistening surface of Lexa’s skin. Her plump cherry red lips parted in the final throes. Lexa’s gorgeous body still trembling and jerking against her has Clarke salivating at the thought of tasting what she can feel dripping down her ass and the back of her thighs.

 

When they are both boneless and their trembling has finally tapered off, Clarke crawls back over to the head of the bed and turns around letting her body free fall heavily onto a pillow.  

 

Lexa moves to lay next to her and Clarke follows the languid movements of the brunette’s body with tired half lidded eyes.

 

Lexa feels her heart beating wildly in the warm throbbing heat of her core and the feeling is so foreign she is almost embarrassed to admit that she came so easily just by grinding against the blonde’s ass.

 

_Hands down, the hottest ass and body I have ever tasted or felt or fucked in my fucking life. Face, eyes, ass….tits…fuck fuck fuCK FUCK!  I'm so fucked!_

 

Clarke has her eyes closed but a tiny satisfied smile is ever present on her gorgeous pink lips. The blonde turns on her side slotting a leg between Lexa’s and wrapping an arm around the brunnette’s waist.

 

Lexa takes this time to study every tiny detail of Clarke’s absolutely breath taking face.  She is awe struck and spell bound wondering how gorgeous one woman could be.  Perfectly sculpted eyebrows over thick eyelashes.  Clarkes adorable peak of a nose rubbing lightly against her own gives her a soft tickling feeling in her stomach.

 

_Those are called butterflies asshole.  That’s right.  Those fucking annoying things. You’re fucked boss.  You don’t command shit anymore._

 

Lexa ignores her jeering inner monologue and dips her head down kissing chin and perfectly round beauty spot and then her tongue is dipping into a sweet warm mouth again.

 

 And then they are staring at each other.  Unapologetically and unashamed.

 

"Did I hurt you at all?"  

 

Lexa asks quietly. Concerned that she may have been a little too rough.

 

Clarke is shaking her head slowly with a small smile on her lips her crystallized cobalt blue eyes sparkle in a post orgasmic glow before Lexa even finishes asking.

 

"No way…. Like….There are no words." She bites her lip smiling giddily with a gorgeous after glow.

 

Lexa hides her face in Clarke’s neck again and they both laugh.

 

"Well, my hands got jealous there for a second.  They couldn't let you go on thinking that the pack does all the hard work around here."

 

Lexa jokes caressing Clarke’s lips with her fingertips.

 

Clarke turns her lips and lightly kisses Lexa’s hand never breaking eye contact. Lexa's stomach drops.

 

“Is this the jealous hand?” Clarke asks grabbing Lexa’s left hand before she could pull it away from her lips. Lexa smirks and nods.

 

“Well I’m sure they’re both jealous but yes the left was the offender.” Lexa grins and bites her lip.

  

“Oh I wouldn’t call it offensive at all. But it did fuck the breath right out of me that’s for sure.”

 

Lexa was about to laugh but was cut short when Clarke slowly inserted the two fingers that had only moments ago been inside her into her mouth. Lexa whispered a ‘fuck’ and bucking her hips and causing her muscular thigh to come into direct contact with the blonde’s still sensitive core.

 

Clarke whimpers and closes her eyes reveling in the feeling of the new pressure between her thighs.

 

"I guess I should withhold my review until you’ve exhausted your arsenal of ways to fuck me into utter ruin."  Clarke acquiesces as she begins to pant and roll onto her back pulling Lexa's body on top of her to continue their renewed hunger for one another.

 

Clarke catches her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes are once more fully blown. She slips her hands down Lexa’s back to her ass digging her nails into firm flesh and pulling down as she bucks up into the brunette's body.

 

Lexa quickly matches Clarke’s rhythm and she can feel her own pubic bone roughly rubbing into Clarke’s slippery clit and sopping wet lips. They stare into each other’s eyes and their movements continue slow and rough.

 

“If I exhaust my arsenal now…mmph….you won’t ever …fuck….come back for seconds.”

 

Lexa whispers onto Clarke's lips between quick pants. Clarke stops her movements immediately and grabs Lexa’s face with both hands, thrusting her tongue into the brunette's mouth.

 

Lexa accepts the kiss with equal fervor moaning loudly. Clarke nips her lovers full bottom lip and then pulls back to look at her.

 

“Oh, I’m gonna want seconds…” Clarke pauses to lay a soft peck on Lexa’s lips again.

 

“And thirds…and so on….” She declares placing another soft peck on Lexa’s lips.

 

Lexa quickly moves a knee outside and just to the left of Clarke’s hips and leaves the other between the blondes legs as she connects her dripping hot sex right over Clarke’s in a move the blonde can only describe as the most insane display of flexibility that she’s ever witnessed in bed in her life.

 

Clarke can only wail and clutch desperately to Lexa’s rock hard ass muscles as the brunette begins to grind slow and hard onto her pussy.

 

She can actually begin to make out the feeling of Lexa’s labia and hardened clit and slight sucking sensation of her entrance as it slides across her own aching sex and she never could’ve imagined how hot and filthy and just utterly satisfying this position could be nor did she think the position was anything but a visually stunning act thought up in a lesbian porn studio. Staged and fake leaving most sexual intellectuals wanting. But if any lover could pull this off successfully it would be Lexa.

 

_Fuck, no one else is ever gonna live up to this…._

 

Their mouths are open and wet as they meld and touch down delicately and sloppy against each other. Their tongues touch and their moans mingle with every thrust and every touch of clit on clit.

 

Lexa occasionally sucks on Clarke’s nipples and leaves several more marks over the top of Clarke’s sinfully delicious breasts.

 

“Oh God…” Lexa pants when she pulls back slightly and catches a full frontal of the blonde beneath her.

 

She pants harder right at the cusp of her orgasm. Lexa holds herself up with one arm and softly runs the thumb of her free hand over Clarke’s bottom lip dragging it down and running her hand over the blondes flawless skin over her neck and between her breasts where she runs her palm over both of them and then holds the left nipple between her fingertips pinching it lightly and increasing the pressure as her grinding gets harder and faster against Clarke’s hot and slick pussy.

 

Lexa is crying out softly now biting her lip as she looks into Clarke’s dark eyes and the blonde matches the moans with near constant mewls.

 

“You…are. So. Fucking. Hot mmmmfuck I…I c can’t. Fucking….get…over it…..FFFUUUUCCCKKKK CLARKE!”

Lexa is blind sided by her orgasm and before she knows it she’s crying out making a loud moaning and guttural sound that she almost can’t believe is coming from her own mouth.

 

Lexa can feel the voluptuous body under her jerking and can faintly hear her name being cried out along with a faint stinging on her ass cheeks from Clarke’s nails.

Lexa feels like she's wearing ear muffs and her eyes are completely rolled to the back of her head.  

By the time she recovers enough to open her eyes Clarke’s orgasm is in the coming down stages of aftershock. Small jolts of lightning are still crackling between their bodies as they jerk and tremble against each other, breathing hard onto lips and looking into each other’s eyes.

 

That’s the last thing Clarke remembers registering before a pall descends over her eyes and her body finally gets pulled down by the undertow of exhaustion as sleep claims her.

 

                                                            ***

 

When Clarke next opens her eyes she has to blink a few times before she can focus her bleary sights on the firm body she can feel beneath her.

 

Lexa’s right arm is nestled low on her waist as she holds Clarke’s body against her own protectively. Her heavy but nearly silent breathing indicates a peaceful sleep but her eyes flicking frantically from left to right behind her eyelids definitely does not.

 

Even so, Clarke can’t help but marvel at the beauty. Her breath hitches involuntarily and she’s relieved that the brunette is unconscious and did not witness her first vulnerable waking moments. She stares in awe for a few more seconds and then she feels a small but dense weight land on the other side of Lexa’s body, across from her on the bed.

 

There stands the biggest, fluffiest cat Clarke has ever seen close up. The feline’s huge green eyes stare at her in slight shock and the cat freezes in place. The snow white chest and rich black, orange and brown shades on the cats gorgeous coat ripple pleasantly as the cat's back twitches and tail switches. Extra long whiskers are smattered back slightly against the cats adorable face and the pink and black stained nose twitches just so indicating that the animal is investigating the scent of this stranger in the bed of its owner.

 

Clarke, being the animal lover that she is wants to both coo loudly and grab the large cat to cuddle it immediately. Never has she seen a cat so enormous and so beautiful in her life. Its comical to think how hard she has to work to keep herself from scaring the cat away by swallowing a sharp and excited inhale of breath.

 

Softly and in the most soothing tone she can muster, Clarke speaks to the feline.

 

“Oh my gosh look at you cutie! You are the cutest ball of fur I have ever seen! What’s your name you cuddly little shit?” Clarke inquires barely able to keep the excitement and adoration out of her voice as to not startle the pet.

 

The reaction the cat had to an unknown person on the bed was easy to see in the cat’s body language. The cat didn’t trust her fully. As soon as it landed on the bed it slightly reared its body back and stared with widened eyes.

 

_Must not be used to seeing strangers in this bed…hmmm_

Clarke is just beginning to acknowledge the unmistakable feeling of warmth at the thought that she may be in a position that not many women have been in when she hears a soft but raspy voice slightly above her.

 

“Now P Potts…don't forget your manners. Tell the pretty lady hello.”  Lexa instructs firmly but Clarke can hear the pride and adoration dripping from every word out of Lexa's mouth even if she isn't looking at the brunette's face.

 

P Potts gaze turns from Lexa to Clarke.  The enormous calico looks the blonde straight in the eyes and opens her little mouth letting out a curious sound that is half squeak and half chirp.

 

Clarke gasps softly and whispers an "Oh my God..."

 

Clarke's hand is splayed over Lexa's six pack so the brunette takes it carefully and flips it over palm up.

 

“Shake P Potts.” Lexa softly instructs.

 

P Potts takes a few steps and touches one rather large snow white socked paw flat down onto the palm of Clarke’s hand.

 

The look in P Potts eyes still hints at a lack of trust so Clarke still holds back from trying to pet or handle the cat. She knows some animals take a while to get used to new people.

 

“Did she just….its…she’s a she right?” Clarke asks quietly not breaking eye contact with P Potts.

P Potts has not removed her paw from the palm of Clarke’s hand so the blonde very slowly begins to run the thumb of that hand over the top of the cat’s paw.

 

“Yes, she’s a she.” Lexa replies quietly, amusement tinging her honeyed vocals.

 

“Did…did she just say hi to me? And shake? That is the most adorable thing I have ever fucking seen Lexa. I don’t want to blow your head up or anything but your cat is so fucking gorgeous. I’ve never seen anything like her.” Clarke coos smiling brilliantly, blue eyes softening with adoration.

 

Lexa chuckles a little at the innuendo but holds back her slick comments.

 

“Yea, she’s a good girl. Right bb? That’s my good girl. This is Clarke P Potts."  

 

Lexa introduces reaching over and rubbing her fingertips over the soft skin of Clarke's forearm and onto her palm where P Potts still has her paw.  Where Clarke is still running her thumb over it.

 

Clarke sees P Potts look from Lexa down to their two hands and her own paw.  When the cat looks up she lets out a short series of squeaks that turns Clarke's insides to jelly at the adorable sound.

 

Lexa giggles a little and Clarke feels the jelly turns to puree and then she's giggling along.

 

"Yes, yes my good girl.  Clarke.  Don’t worry, she’s nice. She loves you. I think she wants to give you lovies too, like real bad….when you’re ready ok?” Lexa offers petting P Potts behind the ears. P Potts slits her eyes closed in pleasure and leans into Lexa’s hand.

 

“Ok, get out of here I’ll be out in a second to feed you. Be good girl ok?” With that P Potts removes her paw from Clarke’s palm and waddles off the bed and out of a cat door on Lexa’s bedroom door that Clarke hadn’t even noticed until now.

 

“That’s my dog Pepper Potts by the way. She came to remind me its time for them to eat and for me to start my middle of the night routine for work. But since it’s my day off still I’ll just go feed them real quick and I’ll be right back ok?”

 

Clarke has made her way up Lexa’s body and has met her face to face by now. The vulnerability and awkwardness in the brunettes voice tells Clarke that this situation is not just new for Pepper Potts.

 

Clarke feels her face heat up and she knows she's blushing but she can't seem to bring herself to care at the moment.  Who would?  She's currently sharing a bed with one of, if not the most gorgeous woman she's ever seen and said woman is adorably nervous and vulnerable and exposed and has chosen her to expose herself to.  Clarke will not waste one second being embarassed that this situation has made her blush and melt and lose control.

 

“Wait, did you say them? Who is them?” Clarke has now begun caressing Lexa’s collarbone lazily.

 

Lexa feels a lump in her throat and she swallows against it before replying.

 

“Oh, just Pepper Potts sister Piper. She is the cat in the family by the way. That and my most trusted adviser.” Lexa states seriously.

 

Clarke giggles. Lexa’s stomach flutters.

 

“Piper also gives classes on how to properly apply eye liner. That’s how she pays her rent. Oh and she’s the more demanding of the two. She will probably be in here any second running in circles on the bed or something. That’s more her style of reminding me to feed them.” Lexa states once again in a matter of fact fashion that one would think she’s talking about a roommate and not her pet.

 

“Well then you better go do what you gotta do. I don’t want them to starve. But, you do know Pepper Potts is a cat right?” Clarke asks while staring at Lexa’s gorgeous lips and biting her own.

 

Lexa laughs a little nervously and a little amused. She leans forward and captures Clarke’s lips in a chaste kiss. Twice, three times.

 

“No, no Pepper Potts is a dog. Trust me. She’s a maine coon and she’s more dog than she is cat. And I don’t think she could ever starve. Did you see all those reserves she has stored up swishing back and forth under her before she jumped off the bed?” Lexa inquires laughing heartily.

 

“Well, no I didn’t.... but she’s the cutest fucking cat I’ve ever seen!” Clarke admits excitedly.

 

“Uh oh, be careful. You don’t want Piper to hear you say that before the two of you even meet. Pepper Potts is a ham…easy to win over….easy to figure out….like I said, my dog. Piper is the one you gotta make a good first impression on.” Lexa says conspiratorially.

 

“You are so fucking adorable…I just…I can’t. Get out of here and feed them already.” Clarke commands smiling and softly kissing Lexa once more before she reluctantly moves off the tanned brunette to let her up.

 

Lexa pulls back the sheet uncovering her honey glazed body, her gorgeous thick locks wild and curly lightly bounce around her shoulders before she sweeps it all over to one side. She unashamedly walks out of the master bedroom door not bothering to cloth her body in any way.

 

“Fuck…my life….she’s gonna kill us.” Clarke whispers to her throbbing core as she watches the last inches of cinnamon swirl surfaced skin disappear behind the door.

 

                                                ***

 

Three hours before the start of her shift, Clarke has finally made her way back to her own loft apartment. Her knees and legs have taken on a pogo stick fatigue and her hands still tremble but these two after effects are minor.

 

The soreness between her legs and the slight rawness on her lips, extreme tingling of her hardened nipples that still haven't managed to soften under the cup of her bra were a few after effects that were way more substantial and had her smiling wistfully.

 

The taste of her lover and the smell of her still tantalizing her senses. The dust of hickies adorning various parts of her body from the tops of her breasts on down. The flutter in her chest that she was trying to ignore.

 

The small giddy smile curved her lips up encircling her beauty mark in an adorable semi circle as her electric blue eyes glaze over.

 

The heart stopping image of awe inspired beauty she awakened to in the glowing blue light of dawn caused her stomach to explode like a giant tigerlilly firework in the sky.

 

Clarke’s lips lightly touching the surface of Lexa’s perfectly curved, perfectly sharp jaw line. The brunette herself sleeping deeply and breathing so quietly Clarke had to strain to hear the whisper of her exhales.

Lexa’s twitching fingertips attached to sinfully skilled slender fingers tapping lightly on the surface of the blondes alabaster skin.

Lexa’s gorgeous hair surrounding them both in a cocoon off sweet smelling shampoo. A mixture of lavender and sandalwood and a hint of sweet leather.

 Clarke’s thoughts swirl with adoration and arousal as she inserts the key to the front door of her loft only to drop it when the door is yanked open by her roommate Raven before she can even disengage the tumblers on the lock.

 

Raven’s eyes widen as she regards her friend and a teasing smirk forms on her full lips.

 

“Well, well, well, well….come in doctor. We have been anxiously awaiting your return.”

 

Clarke rolls her eyes and shakes her head walking by her friend to enter the heavenly cool temperature of her apartment living room. The sun was not even up yet and the humidity coupled with 78-degree heat was already making the surface of the blondes skin feel balmy and uncomfortable.

 

“Rae seriously, I know an interrogation is at hand but I have 3 hours to shower and get some rest before another 48 hours at the hospital. Can we like back burner this for now?”

 

Clarke pleads tossing her keys on the small table near the front door and checking her purse for her phone.

 

“No FUCKING way Clarke!”

 

Octavia.

 

Clarke’s hand closes around her phone and the vibration against her palm indicates a notification. Clarke sighs loudly and huffs in irritation at the sound of Octavia’s voice.

 

She was hoping that she would only have to deal with one leg of the tripod but now that the tripod was complete, she knew she wasn’t going to get out of this one.

 

“You at least owe us an explanation and apology for not answering a single text or phone call in the past….”

 

Octavia looks over to Raven for the count.

 

“Eighteen hours Clarke! Eight…teen…fucking...hours? Why not just make it a full fucking 24????”

 

Clarke couldn’t help laughing along with her roommates as she rubbed her eyes in irritation.

 

Raven walked over and pulled Clarke by one shoulder turning her around to face Octavia. Clarke was confused until Raven pulled down the front of her sundress revealing several love bites all over the top of her cleavage.

 

Octavia and Raven laugh hysterically as Clarke scrambles to pull her dress back up.

 

Her roommates knew exactly where they would find evidence if evidence was left to be found.  It was not opinion but fact that their friend had an amazingly gorgeous rack.

 

Clarke glared at her best friends. “You two are lucky I befriended you so long ago! You’re both being complete dicks to me right now and I just want to soak in a bath and get an hours worth of sleep.” Clarke whined.

 

Octavia and Raven’s laughing was tapering off until Octavia looked at the expression on Clarke’s face and doubled over laughing while simultaneously slapping Raven’s arm with the back of her hand to get the Latina’s attention.

 

“WHuu?” Raven regarded her friend confused as to what Octavia was laughing at now.

 

“Grum….grumpy….c cat…grumpy cat!” Octavia was finally able to get out and then they both doubled over laughing so hard that they had to lean on each other for support.

 

“Ughhh.” Clarke growled rolling her eyes and walking past them to her room.

 

“Wait! Clarke…C Clarke come on love! Grumpy cat is so cute!” Octavia yelled still laughing. She stumbled her way to Clarke dragging a still laughing Raven with her.

 

“Hey…hey wait…you’re not going anywhere!” Octavia challenged grabbing her friend’s wrist and preventing her from entering her bedroom.

 

Clarke turned to look at them both crossing her arms and trying not to frown. It was useless. Octavia and Raven had gone to great lengths to stop laughing because they wanted to know details about how the blonde had spent half the previous afternoon and most of the night but as soon as their friend faced them again they couldn’t hold it together.

 

“Oh don’t be grumpy lil kitty!” Raven said and that set them both off laughing again.

 

“Fucking assholes.” Clarke grumbled trying to keep a disappointed look on her face and failing when a smirk began to form.

 

Octavia finally recovered just enough to speak coherently.

 

“Wait, but like seriously though Clarke. You’re not like…hungry at least? I mean…18 hours with..actually…still don’t know if you were riding a dick or a chick yet but….”

 

Octavia is interrupted by a loud snort that surprises both her and Raven when it exits the Latinas mouth and both girls are laughing once more.

 

"As if those are my only two options."  Clarke grumbles rolling her eyes but her comment goes unheard through the caw-like laughter from her two magpie friends.

 

Once the laughter tapers off due to annoyed looks and huffs from their friend, Raven continues Octavia’s point.

 

“We know you spent those hours wisely and that takes a lot out of a woman.” Raven states knowingly.

 

“This nympho speaks from experience.” Octavia says wiggling her thick gorgeous eyebrows at her Latina friend.

 

Raven rolls her eyes. “Anyway, seriously Clarke. Want Octavia to make you something? She can whip up some pancakes real quick. She was gonna make me some anyway.”

 

“This bitch!” Octavia exclaims jerking a thumb at Raven. “I have no idea where she got that from. I'm not making shit for her!”

 

Clarke laughs a little and shakes her head.

 

“No actually.” She replies before her friends can start to bicker about pancakes. A small wistful smile adorns her lips.

 

“Um, she uh cooked for me.” Clarke admits quietly smiling wider and biting her lip.

 

Both Octavia and Raven grow silent as they observe their friend. Octavia smiles, a soft look glistening in her eyes.

 

Raven, the complete opposite. Skeptical and concerned.

 “She huh? Like Rae said though, she cooked for you and has you cheesing like a kid in a Mac store, why not make it a full 24 hours Clarke?” Octavia teases biting her lip and raising her eyebrows in question.

 “Ughhh…” Clarke is trying to figure out a way to say just enough to pacify her roommates for the time being so she can have a chance to have a little rest before her grueling shift at the hospital.

 “Because my pussy couldn’t take a full 24 hours ok???? Happy???” Clarke exclaims flailing her arms in the air in frustration.

 “Oh …my…God!” Octavia exclaims and both she and Raven can’t help themselves when they begin leaning on each other again as they laiugh themselves silly.

 “Jesus you two I’m serious. I’ll give you all the graphic details later when I get a chance but I don’t have time for it right now. Sorry if yall were worried about me. I promise not to do that again.  Now I’m gonna go soak in a bath and get some sleep. So PLEASE fuck off…with love…kay?” Clarke says smiling sweetly and turning her back on her snorting and chortling friends.

 “Just as long as you know that you can’t just avoid this conversation forever!” Octavia yells at Clarke’s retreating figure and the bird the blonde flung up in the air right before entering her bedroom.

 Before Clarke can even undress to begin winding down she checks the latest notifications on her phone.  

 

**Commander: [image]**

Clarke's hands are actually trembling as she opens the message.  

There on Clarke's disappointingly small smart phone screen is a picture of a very naked, very breath taking Lexa hidden under rumpled sheets that no doubt still had their combined bodily fluids all over them.  

The cream colored sheets pulled up between thick muscled thighs resemble a stream of buttermilk flowing through rich caramel.  

One breast delicately concealed beneath soft cotton, an arm covering half of the other.  Lexa lays on her side facing the camera in a natural pose that would be the envy of every model that has to actually work HARD to achieve an image that looks as perfect and effortless as this.  

Emerald green eyes half lidded, lips slightly parted, gorgeous hair thick and wild underneath Lexa's pink tinted cheek and one high cheek bone. Some chocolate locks lay half hazardly across and above the pillow Lexa is laying on.  

Lexa's gorgeous body from strong, muscular, broad shoulder all the way down to the tips of her toes, her knees slightly bent and only one bare thigh visible from the angle Lexa was able to create with her phone.  

Clarke thinks Lexa's impromtu candid could easily be a bill board for a new line of hair products to nuture post sex hair.

 

"Oh...sweet baby Jesus..."  Clarke whispers and feels her heart palpatating in her chest.  The following text just adds the sweet frosting on the cake.

 

**Commander:  When can you pencil me in for seconds?**

 

"Fuck....me..."

 

 

 

 


	5. Conflict and Emotions

 

_Maybe theres a god above_

_but all Ive ever learned from love_

_was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya_

***

 

**X:**

**Heda, Heda...Hedies...devil...are you still alive?**

**Me:**

**Fuck Fuck Fuck! Ur kidding me right?  Why the text bitch CALL ME!**

**X:**

**Negative Sgt Hedies, I’m on duty at HQ. No phone calls so u have 2do w/this shit 4now altho I know u miss my voice binch**

**Me:**

**oh ofFUCKINcourse I do. Fucking porn star voice.  Worst bunk mate ever!**

**X:**

**BAHAHAHAAAAA! I can just c ur disgusted fuckin face rn! Damn buddy I really miss our laughs. This shit is getting rough. I’m flying in. In one week 4 TWO weeks so u can hear my sexy voice then. Dry ur eyes**

**Me:**

****I can’t believe ur giving me such fucking amazing news in a text! I'm fucking screaming!** **

**X:**

**I made u cum already? Damn, that’s a new record.**

**Me:**

**u asshole! Can’t wait 2 see u. UR staying in my guest bedroom I don’t care wtf u say.**

**X:**

**Wait wait…sorry but u musta 4got how much I detest that cunt ur MARRIED to bleh….u know how hard it is 4 me 2call her ur wife?  sorry :/ I gotta pass hedies my love**

**Me:**

**Damn u been gone too long bud. I didn’t marry her. And that’s all I’m saying thru text now get ur ass to HTown so we can have crazy drunken nights together**

**X:**

**Didn’t think I’d ever say this but u just made my FUCKING life rn. As many bullets as we dodged together, that’s the one I’m relieved u dodged the most. CU in a week at ur place**

**X:** **And HTown better be as fucking sick as you make it out to be buddy.**

**X:  I'm missing time with the fam for you!**

**Me:**

**Fuck you it is. Love u asshole. cu soon**

*******

“Cap, a Marine Corps buddy of mine is coming into town in a week, am I slated for anything inherently important that can’t be rescheduled?”

 

“Hm, well I know IA wants to speak with you about Murphy in a couple of days which I hope you have already contacted your union rep about.”

 

Lexa had been aware of this upcoming inquisition but had pushed it to the back of her mind temporarily not wanting to add any more stress to her load.

 

“Yes, Jonathon is up to speed and prepared to make an appearance with me. Even though he just got his OTHER knee replaced.” Lexa chuckles softly at the idea that someone so young already needs a knee replacement.  She joked with her buddy all the time about how he wouldn't need knee replacements if he wasn't always on his knees giving upper management blow jobs.

 

“I don’t even want to know why you find that amusing Woods. To answer your question, NO, you're clear but I assume you will be filing a leave request through the regular channels?”

Indra says, eyebrows raised in question. Lexa was her most trusted Sgt and Indra no doubt brandished the young brunette as one of, if not her favorite officers but she also knew that policy was to be followed to the last detail. Especially now that her precinct and the entire department was under a microscope.

 

“Of course maam."  Lexa replied sitting up a little straighter in her seat and looking the Captain in the eye reminding herself to get rid of the informalities.

 

"I just wanted to be sure I didn’t have any pressing issues before I turned in my request.”  She offered truthfully.

 

“Ok good. Now, I just got word that you will eventually be subpoenaed for the Camacho trial but you won’t have to worry about that until another month or so.”

 

Lexa felt a simultaneous sinking and stabbing feeling in her chest as she inhaled and exhaled deeply closing her eyes to try to calm her palpitating heart.

 

Indra grew rather concerned but didn’t blame the Sgt for her reaction.

 

“Character witness right?” Lexa asked quietly from under her hands that were now covering her face.

 

“Yes but I need to ask you a question and your answer needs to be the whole truth and nothing but.” Indra firmly states to emphasize the seriousness of the situation.

 

“I’ve never lied to you Cap and I’m not about to start now.”  Lexa replied sitting up again and regaurding the Captain with an intense expression.

 

“Good, then please tell me you are not carrying on an inappropriate relationship with Mr. Camacho’s doctor when the department is under this amount of scrutiny?”

_OHHHH FUCCKKKKK MY MOTHERFUCKING LIFE!!!!!_

 

"ALEXANDRA WOODS...your hesitation in answering is enough to confirm what I had assumed were baseless rumors and accusations."

Before Indra could continue with what sounded to Lexa like a mentor/mentee scolding, the young Sgt interrupted her.

"First of all...its not a relationship.  I'm not exactly sure what it is but even if I did, its anything but inappropriate.  Any and all..." Lexa paused suddenely trying to articulate what she needed to convey without losing her professionalism. 

The young cop felt her face and ears burning just at the mere insinuation and then the memory of every bone weary hour she had spent in bed with the young blonde 2 or 3 weeks ago.

“extra curricular…activities that took place only occurred once and while off duty. During working hours we both remained 100% professional and Mr. Camacho had been released by the time we met after hours anyway.”

Indra’s stoic mask broke slightly only once during Lexa’s explaination and if the young Sgt hadn’t known her mentor so well she would’ve never even noticed. The slight uptick of lips and miniscule slitting of the corners of the Captain’s eyes.  Indra was clearly amused at the uncomfortable situation the Sgt had found herself in even though the subject matter of their conversation was still very serious.

But one of the main reason she valued her Sgt so much was because her ability to remain professional in the most difficult and high stress or embarrassing situations was unparalleled.

“You know that doesn’t matter Lexa.” Indra responded sighing softly and shaking her head before taking a seat at her desk across from Lexa.

“I am under a lot of pressure right now and the chief is on my ass about the Murphy incident. This…this thing you have with this doctor is really the last thing I’d expect from you!  When I need my community hero the most is when she decides to give in to temptation just for a one time fling with the ivy league golden child and daddy’s little girl!” 

Lexa’s expression of confusion and shock was enough to tell Indra that the Sgt had no idea who she had involved herself with.

 “I WAS NOT looking to have a “fling” with anyone I assure you Captain.”

Lexa interjects.  The offensive accusation making her feel both dirty and embarrassed. 

Lexa detested the fact that the Captain assumed so much without evidence.

"Am I correct in assuming that you didn't know that Clarke's mother is a world renowned surgeon?  I applaud this young woman's ambition and determination.  It takes some true courage to follow in those giant footsteps.  I'm sure she is under constant pressure.  I know the feeling."  Indra comments pulling at her own collar as if yanking it loose would solve all her problems.

Lexa’s heart had already been so low it had plummeted to the ground at her feet. After hearing this last bit of information, she felt as if it was being stomped on as well.

_So, it seems that I was never even meant to breathe the same air as the heir to the...surgeon throne?  Now I know why I will never see her again.  I bet her parents interrogate and test and measure and fingerprint anyone that has ever dared to come near their daughter._

“Wow, so you actually DIDN’T know….” Indra mused with remorse.

The silence that filled the room began to feel like a vice grip on Lexa’s larynx.

It had been weeks since she’d last seen Clarke. The morning after that amazing night of sex.  The radio silence made Lexa feel foolish and down right stupid but it hadn’t surprised her one bit.  Clarke wasn’t the first to use her and she wouldn’t be the last.

  _But I told her so much. I told her TOO much.  Not to mention I almost broke my cardinal rule when she put her hands on me...Jesus Lex....way to go_

These themes and calculations and over analyzations had been playing on a loop in Lexa’s head as soon as she had accepted  the fact that she had been promptly dismissed.  Sitting in the Captains office, the circle of death began making the rounds in Lexa’s consciousness again. 

And then she remembered the candid.

When a woman chooses to reveal themselves physically and by that action also reveals themselves EMOTIONALLY, its not only a precious gift to who ever receives it but also a small form of metamorphosis.  

Women are sending images of themselves in the most intimate of initmiate situations and its all because of the person on the receiving end.  That person made them FEEL something.  That person awakened something in them whether they meant to or not.

There is NOT ONE glorious female creature inhabiting this earth in the past, present or future who has not, does not and will not have issues with their own body and therefore would have to overcome that self consciousness in order to have the courage to embrace themselves enough to even develop the very IDEA of even CREATING such a visually stunning scene and then actually CAPTURE it.

Lexa could deal with a taunting evil version of jiminy cricket in her head any day, maniacally laughing about Clarke’s statement of wanting seconds and thirds if she never had to be reminded that she sent her freshman attempt at a semi nude candid to a woman that had promptly ghosted her after an 18 hour fuck a thon.

Before sending the semi nude photo that day, Lexa had agonized over the pros and cons never having sent anything of that nature before. 

After finally breaking down and sending it she was happy with the result when it prompted a reply of at least 5 heart eye emojis and a long line of mixed alphanumeric keyboard characters.

 What followed a few seconds after was:

“YOU. ARE. SO. FUCKING. GORGEOUS LEXA WOODS."

And then a text promising to get back with Lexa in the very near future to set up a time and date for their next "meeting."

Needless to say, further communication was not in the cards in the near future or otherwise.  No text notification, no call, no winged white dove messenger....nothing.

Lexa waited a whole week before attempting to send a text herself but only once.  The brunette had been out of the game for a long time but she remembered enough to know that when someone really wants to keep the communication lines they have just developed with someone open and clear then they will.  Plain and simple.  They will make the effort.  They will go the extra mile.

But there was no reply text.  No vague butt dial in the middle of the night.  No rocks thrown at Lexa's window....donut holes....nothing.

Snapping out of a daze, Lexa looked up at her mentor who sat across from her.

"It doesn't matter anyway Cap.  Whatever we had is over and done with although it definitely wasn't something I pursued for bragging rights."

 Indra could detect a generous amount of regret in the Sgts statement and her heart went out to her.

"Look Lexa, I want to make myself clear...."  Indra began using a firm but soft voice.

"What you do on your own time is your business as long as it doesn't take place while you're on duty, and of course, as long as you don't break any laws...."  Indra paused and looked at the young Sgt for effect.

"...under any other circumstance I'd be ecstatic for you!  You deserve happiness Heda but right now I need you to do me a solid until after the trial at least.  We just have to be extra careful."

Lexa was already nodding her head in understanding.

"Yes I know.  You don't need to explain Captain.  Now can you tell me what to expect at pre trial?"  Lexa asked quickly changing the subject so she could forget how painfully tight her chest was feeling all of a sudden.

"I understand that you've never had to serve as a character witness against a fellow officer...right?"  Indra asked.

Lexa paused for a few seconds trying to get back in to the right mind set for the very serious subject her mentor was discussing with her.

"No maam, I can't say that I have.  What a fucking nightmare."  Lexa lamented.

"There is no reason for you to be concerned at all.  The truth will always work best as I'm sure you already know.  They know you refused to train him and of course they know that you were here in my office voicing your concerns about him." 

Lexa nodded her head solemnly.

"The truth is not my concern maam.  My concern is my fellow officers being thrown into the same pot with an idiot that should've never made it past the academy."

"I understand Woods but all we can do is turn the tides..."

"Open eyes with integrity, one citizen at a time.  I know."  Lexa finished her mentor's sentiment having learned it after so many years under Indra's charge.

A few seconds of silence passed before Indra spoke again.

"I sincerely hope it works out for you.  She seems like quite a catch."

"Hm?"  Lexa inquired, clearly distracted.

"You and the younger Griffin?  I hope it works out?"  Indra states and questions at the same time.

"Oh!  Uh I wouldn't count on it.  You definitely don't have to be concerned anymore.  See you later Cap." 

She wanted to say that she was pretty sure that Clarke wasn't interested in anything more than what they already shared. 

She wanted to say that they hadn't discussed it but she's a fairly good investigator and all the articulable facts are making it easy for her to conclude that she let herself get too comfortable and lose herself and all for someone that was just like all the rest of the women that had used her for one thing or another.

But Lexa's mentor didn't need to know any of that so Lexa exited her captain's office quickly to avoid having to engage in any further discussion on the subject of Clarke Griffin.

                                    ***

"So, Echo's finally taking the trip she always promised you she'd take when she re enlisted and you didn't?"

Lexa's huge maniacal grin in reply to her sister's question was both endearing and troubling to Anya.

"I'm begging you Alexandra....please please PLEASE don't get into any drunken bar fights and keep you're fucking clothes on in public for the love of GOD!  Streaking would NOT be recommended especially with your co workers patrolling the area!"

Lexa's green eyes were already alight with mischief and humor as she laughed at the memory of streaking with her best friend.

"Oh please..."  Lexa quipped rolling her eyes.

"We streaked at least twice in each shit hole desert we were deployed to and never got caught or shot...well at least NOT while streaking...."  Lexa recounted laughing again.

"We'll be fine Ahn."  The brunette Sgt reassured her older sister.

"Well, I won't be fine bailing your ass out of county and Indra will deliver 100 cuts to your little naked streaking body before she skins you alive and you know it!"

Lexa laughed again even harder this time.  "Yea yea...."  the green eyed brunette sassed flapping her hand dismissively.

"I'm serious!  Please don't lose yourself!  Everything is more difficult for me now.  I have Matt.  I can't just drop everything at a moment's notice if some kind of emergency comes up!"

Anya was not only concerned about having her 2 year old son near his aunt, which he held in such high reguard, while she was fall down drunk, but she was also deeply concerned for her little sister.

Ever since the whore Costia had ridden her way out of an engagement with her sister on the dick of a man that Lexa had referred to as her brother, Anya's concern had grown out of fear for her sisters life and future. 

Lexa being on deployment had been concerning enough but now Anya had to be sure that whatever side effects Lexa was still harboring due to her broken engagement were not going to consume her again.

Costia and Roans affair had not only wrecked Lexa's life but the lives of Roan's family and had put the man's career in jeopardy as well.  The police officer had to get transferred to another precinct after being shunned by nearly every officer in the 8th. Even after a memo was submitted to all personnel reminding them of their policies on causing a hostile work environment.  The affair was her problem and her problem alone to deal with.             

All Anya can do now is just hope for the best and plead with Echo once she got into town to tone down the drinking and maintain control at all times. 

Anya knew that alone would be a challenge.

                                                                  ***

Lexa filled her next week to the max with some of the most tedious and physically demanding duties she could find so that she would not have any type of down time to think while her week flew by.

Before she knew it, she was standing at the luggage carousel at Bush International airport holding Echo's lithe and scar pocked body so tight she felt her friend's back pop several times.

Echo said nothing and did nothing but return the fierce hug.  They shivered and wept silently.  They dried their tears after letting go and never spoke about it after that.  They've shared experiences that something as small as words can't describe in any language.

And in these type of circumstances, the only thing that makes sense is for heart to speak to heart.

   

                                                                 ***

Three hours later after getting Echo settled in to Lexa's spare bedroom and having dinner with Anya and Matt, the two Marines sat drinking spirits at BBVA Compass Stadium watching a Pro Women's soccer match. 

Echo with a giant stadium sized beer and Lexa taking secretive sips of whiskey out of a inconspicuously small heavy duty plastic flask.

"That thing looks like a smaller version of our canteens from basic Lex."  Echo snorted after watching her best friend sneak another sip.

"Its the ugliest most un sexy flask I've ever seen."  the brown eyed girl dead panned smirking.

"Mhm, but it got past security didn't it?  And I'm here feeling nice and fucking toasty while you're pounding that god awful shit and getting all kinds of bloated."  Lexa smiles smugly tilting her chin up with pride.

"Whatever, on to more important matters.  Who on the team is married and who isn't?"  Echo asked moving her thick eyebrows up and down.

"I don't even know why you care if they're married or not Ecks.  Its not like that would ever stop you from trying if you saw any of them in a bar."  Lexa quipped smiling and shaking her head as she watched a Houston Dash midfielder battle for possession.

"True...very true Hedies."

When the Portland Thorns defender grew frustrated and resorted to slamming the other woman to the ground with her forearm, Lexa flipped like a switch from care free and laid back to standing and practically bursting Echo's ear drum with her loud booming voice.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP REF!  DID YOU SWALLOW YOUR WHISTLE?? WANNA GET HER THE FUCK OFF OUR ROOKIE????"

Echo chuckled softly at the sight not shocked at all and not bothered in the slightest at the display even though her ears were still ringing.

A teenage girl sitting to Echo's left seemed equally amused and also smitten.  

Echo rolled her eyes because:

 _OF COURSE this little girl is crushing on Lexa._   _How many fucking times have I seen THAT look!!_

Echo's thoughts were interrupted by the blushing, brown eyed teenager.

"I love when she does that.  She has such a loud strong voice.  Some refs even know her already and she ALWAYS calls them out."

"Well hello, I'm Echo the 'Commander's' best friend.  Echo announced jerking a thumb to the still standing brunette and bringing her fingers up to make air quotes.

"Oh hi--I'm Kayla.  Me and my Dad are season ticket members.  The commander is part of our Dash fam.  Four seasons of this."  The young girl indicates letting her dreamy gaze flit from Lexa to the pitch beyond.

Echo could read loud and clear that Kayla's attendance at matches for the last 4 seasons wasn't just because of her undying support for her team.

She began to chuckle to herself once more when Lexa finally sat back down seeming to notice Kayla for the first time since the match started.

"Hey Kay Kay!  How's it going?  Where's big poppa?"  The cop greeted the blushing teenager enthusiastically raising her hand for a high 5 that the young girl met with a shy slap of her hand.

"Dad couldn't make it today so I came alone."  Kayla replied giving an oblivious Lexa a serious case of elevator eyes.

Echo caught the look of course and snorted as she turned her attention toward the pitch.  A flash of platiumun blone had caught her eye and she watched in awe as a lanky spit fire wearing Houston Dash powder blue blow past two defenders using an impressive heel flick.

"Holy SHIT!"  Echo raised her voice excitedly as she got to her feet.  "Who is THAT Lex?!!!  What's her name?  Number 3!!" 

The brown eyed brunette nudged Lexa repeatedly with the back of her hand.

"Wait Ecks...she's about to thread it through."  Lexa commented getting to her feet again and standing shoulder to shoulder with her fellow Marine.

"She's about to bring the house down!" Lexa said, giddy excitement lacing her voice.

Echo watched slightly shocked without a clue as to what her best friend was referring to but still enormously impressed with the gorgeous fluidity of the blonde's ball handling skills.

Lexa allowed the blonde in the number 3 jersey to make her way further down the field before answering her best friend's question.  All three had their eyes glued to the neon orange boots and the ball being manipulated by them.

THe half full stadium began to build up into a low rumble of shouting and applause in anticipation for the shot at goal as the player neared the midfield area.

"That's lioness Rachel Daly my friend."  The police officer commented without looking away from the action.

"And she's about to blow past that last defender before feeding the ball into the 2 time FIFA world player of the year Carli Fucking Lloyd for the finish!"

Echo heard Kayla speak up to her left, just before Daly did exactly what Lexa had predicted.

"Lexa's got a thing for the 'The Lloyd.'"  The teenager supplied sounding slightly miffed.

Before Lexa could retort, number 10 went for the finish the way number 10 always finishes;  With a sniper shot goal from the top of the box tucking it in high and into the right corner of the goal.

Echo's jaw unhinged in shock at the utter magnificence of what she had just witnessed.

The Portland goal keeper's shocked expression and remorse was the icing on the cake.

Lexa turned and caught the look of amazement spread across her best friend's face as the stadium erupted in celebration.  Lloyd jumped into Daly's arms while shooting her side gun goal celebration.

"You're god damned right I got a thing for the fucking Lloyd!  Fuck Yes!"  Lexa shouted smiling and laughing triumphantly.

"That was fucking beautiful!  I can't believe that just happened!"  Echo exclaimed yelling loudly so that Lexa could hear her over the roar of the crowd.

"I know."  Was all that Lexa offered in reply.  But her expression reflected so much more admiration and love that words could not describe.

"I can see why you fell in love with this game Lex."  Echo admitted to her friend leaning over to talk into her ear.

"Its fucking unbelievable and these women are like..."  Echo trailed off trying to find a suitable single word description.

"Wonder women...I know Ecks...I know."  Lexa replied glancing at her friend briefly and then turning back to the pitch with dreamy emerald green eyes.

                                                                            ***

 

After a quick Uber ride back to Lexa's place, the two women began to get ready for the rest of their night.

Lexa stood stacking up towels from her linen closet for Echo to use in the guest bathroom.  

Echo was enjoying her time so far in the Bayou City but she felt as if she had been on the field amongst the players instead of in the stands.  The humidity was overwhelming even after the sun went down.  Both women were itching for a shower.

"Is it always like this Lex?  Like being hyped and shit so long after watching a match?"  Echo asked as her host filled her arms with bath items.

Lexa chuckled to herself.  A twinkle gleamed in her eyes.

"Yup!  And trust me, no matter how much a person claims to detest the sport they end up falling in love after I take them to a game.  Its almost impossible not to feel the electricity when you watch live."

"Yea...no shit.  Its ruining my buzz actually.  Good thing we are hitting a bar cuz I'd like to get back to that."  Echo said winking at her friend and making her way to the shower.

                                                                          ***

The two Marines arrived at Lexa's favorite bar Faya, a little after eleven and the amount of people she saw out on the patio was slightly unnerving.  She turned to her friend to gauge her reaction.

"I usually don't come on weekends but this is a nice place.  They avoid letting in the wrong element.  The owner is a friend.  But if you don't feel right about this we can go somewhere else." 

Echo hesitated for only a few seconds mulling it over.

"Yea, I'm sure it will be fine.  You said its laid back, no shady characters, I trust you Lex."

"I got your back Ecks.  Besides, anyone that may try to ruin our night should be more anxious about us than we are of them."  Lexa quipped wrapping an arm around her friends neck and pulling her body in close for a tight side hug.

"GGAAAHHHH, lay off Heda you're choking me!"  The two women laughed freely as they entered the building. 

Lexa lead Echo straight to the bar and began ordering their drinks as Echo leaned her back against the bar to scope out the entire room for the location of the exits and any suspicious characters or behavior.

"Hey Luna!  Pretty big crowd tonight huh?!"  Lexa half shouted half talked to the red headed bar tender.

"Hey Commander!  I never see you here on a Saturday!  What's the special occasion?  Impressing a new girl?"  Luna teased shifting her dark eyes over to where Echo was still leaning with her back against the bar.

Lexa rolled her eyes and laughed as she pulled Echo's shoulder to turn her around for an introduction.

"Luna this is my best friend Echo.  She is on leave from the Marine Corps right now and this is her first time in Htown!" 

"And Echo, this is Luna!  She owns the place!"  Lexa finished as the two women shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

"So Luna, is the place always full of ivy league, my shit don't stink trim on a Saturday night?"  Echo asked in a loud booming voice so Luna could hear her over the Rhianna song bleeding through the speakers. 

The ambiance in the bar was exactly what Echo would normally be drawn to. 

No rowdy delinquent crowd. 

No messy drunk people trying to grope anyone.

_At least not yet._

Lighting was dimmed but not too dark.  A few pool tables, foosball and even a basketball arcade game.  Through the side windows, she could see two sets of giant jenga stacked up on tables on the patio outside.

A small dance floor was being used by a few couples and over all the atmosphere was very comfortable.  But....

_One of these things is not like the other....one of these things is not like the other_

A gaggle of people stood in the darkest corner of the room and the number of ways they stuck out immediately grabbed Echo's attention.

"Oh them?"  Luna laughed at Echo's colorful description.

"I think this might be their first time in here.  They've only been here for a half hour and they have ordered 3 rounds of shots.  They're obviously celebrating something."  Luna supplied continuing to study the young group of friends along with her newest patrons.

Lexa couldn't make out any of their faces but she could tell that there were 3 women and 2 men.  Two brunettes and a

.... _platinum blonde....Jesus, every single blonde is gonna make you think of HER now?  Get it together Lexa._

Lexa continued to sip her whiskey on ice.  

Drinking it neat tonight wouldnt be wise since she promised Anya she would remain in control. She was craving ice anyway.  

Something that remained with her after returning from the desert was the appreciation for plenty of small luxuries.  Ice, alcohol that didn't taste like diesel gas, air conditioners, real filtered cigarettes....although Lexa rarely picked those up she could still appreciate one every once in a while.  

Lexa regaurded the group making a mental note of specific details.

The red bottoms of one of the brunette's designer shoes.  The bright shiny flash of a gold rolex on the wrist of one of the slightly inebriated men. 

The way one of the male/female couples looked to be close but in a sharing blood type of way and not a "cute couple" kind of way. 

But what she noticed most (perhaps what irritated her most) was that even though she couldn't quite make out anyone's facial features it didn't matter anyway because the only blonde at the table had her back to the bar.

Lexa knew it couldn't be the woman that had iced her out cold but something burned from the inside out at that mounting necessity abrasively bombarding Lexa's senses. 

She WANTED to see the woman's face.  Maybe even just to take her home later and bury her disappointment deep inside this unknown blonde's most intimate depths to attempt to erase the memory of a completely different blonde's dismissal.

A blonde that had made her open up with very little difficulty.

A blonde that had set her heart fluttering every time she looked into her eyes.

A blonde that clawed her way under her tough, scar tissue and made herself at home just to fall off the face of the earth and into an unknown atmosphere when it was all said and done.

"Hey Lex, how about a casual game of pool?"  Echo spoke up suddenely in her ear breaking her out of her negative thoughts.

Lexa registered the request and was about to answer in the affirmative with enthusiasm but her skeptical tendencies just would not allow it.  She withheld her reply at the last second and regaurded her best friend raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow and two slightly squinted gorgeously shaded eyes.

"Why do I feel when you say 'casual' what you really mean is anything BUT casual?"

Both Lexa and Echo laughed.

"Come on, since when is any type of game between the two of us ever just CASUAL?  Lack of casualness is supposed to be implied dumb ass!"  Echo replied playfully shoving Lexa's shoulder.

Lexa bent at the waist dramatically and moved her hand over her right leg mid thigh as if her muscle suddenely developed a cramp.  She touched the tip of her long slender index finger to the tip of her thumb forming the perfect circle as she waited for her friend to look down. 

The split second it took Echo to realize what she had just been duped into was a split second too long.  Lexa's left hand was already coming up and making contact with the right side of her best friend's face.

Not to be outdone, Echo did not allow the stinging impact to distract her as she aimed her finger into the center of the circle Lexa had created and without warning dealt a hard slap of her own on the cheek of her assaulter. 

Their movements were so quick and clean that one would assume it was all planned out.

The two women both held their faces where they had both been slapped as they doubled over in laughter. 

Lexa tapped her fingers on the top of the bar indicating to a stunned Luna that they both needed a refill.  Both women were in tears resulting from the type of cleansing laughter that only they understood.

Luna hesitated for a moment and then refilled the glasses for the pair of Marines.  Lexa wiped at her tears with the back of her hand before speaking.

"Luna my love, will you please give us two shots as well.  I know I usually don't order that but tonight, Echo and I are celebrating as well!"

Now the bar owner looked down right concerned.  She knew as long as she'd known Lexa (which was a considerable amount of time considering she was a regular) the woman had never taken, ordered or accepted a shot. 

Of course in the past there were plenty of men and women that had ordered them and either sent them over to where Lexa was currently sitting or delivered them themselves just to be shot down by the gorgeous brunette.  If it was a woman the shot was usually the last and only time they got shut down.  If it was a man, well the shutting down was final after a polite 'not interested now or ever' explanation.

"Ok, sure...but um....what exactly do you want a shot of?"  Luna asked biting her lip and looking from one brunette to the other.

Lexa gave a final rub of her cheek and dropped her hand on the top of the bar loudly.

Luna's eyes grew in size when she saw the flaming red marks on Lexa's cheek that were left behind by Echo's fingers.  This made both Marines set off in a fit of laughter once more.

"Since I've never ordered you don't know what to give me and I don't know what to order either.  So just give me what the 'my shit don't stink' group in the corner ordered." 

"Ok, top shelf chilled tequila it is."

"OOOOHHHHH Fuck!  We are NOT keeping our promise to Anya tonight Lex.  And you know it!"

"We can handle one shot you idiot!  Now choke it down already so we can get over to the table and I can put you in your place like I always do."  The two women took the shot and quickly bit into two waiting slices of lime that Luna had provided them.

Wincing slightly still from the conflicting cooling and burning sensation starting in her throat all the way down to her stomach, Echo proceeded to lay out the terms of their billiards game.

"WHEN you lose..."  Echo stated firmly.  "the terms are, that you will have to go ask one of those 3 high maintenance hotties in the corner to dance."

As the two women walked over to the billiards table with their drinks, Lexa shot a quick glance over to the corner once more and once again had no luck in getting a good look or any kind of look for that matter at the face attatched to the platinum blonde head of hair.

"Not likely any of them will be willing to go slumming tonight Ecks, nor is it guaranteed that they would be willing to get pretty intimate on the dance floor with a stranger as they would most likely be grinding their ass into my crotch."  Lexa said as she began racking the billiard balls in striped and solid order.

"You got a point there with the slumming aspect my friend but the whole grinding thing?  Who said ANYTHING about grinding?  I said DANCING.  I mean REAL dancing.  Like Iraq salsa night part 2.  Full fledged."

"Oh I see, you want me to go all DWTS up in here with some random woman who will probably dimiss me before I even make it all the way over to her corner to ask her to dance because I don't know, maybe she hates flannel shirts or lesbians or the over all vibe I give off around women like that.  You know, the whole 'NOT ON THEIR LEVEL' blue collar, peasant, make shit for pay type of vibe?  Don't think that shit can't happen Ecks.  And if that's part of the whole appeal to the terms then fuck you and also you're on.  I can't wait to watch you stumble through a latin ball room dance when you can't dance for shit even if our style is more freestyle than anything else."

"HEY!"  Echo exclaimed clearly offended.  "I can do enough to get by.  Besides, you're gonna lose anyway."  The brown eyed brunette once again confidently predicts.  This double shot of confidence should have been a strong indicator that something was off but Lexa wasn't picking up on it.  The tequila shot was filtering her world into a vignette type of image and she felt invincible.

"Just break already asshole."  Lexa commented waving off the comment from her best friend.

When the clean break resulted in 3 striped cue balls disappearing into corner pockets Lexa finally began to realize she made a huge mistake.

_I'm pretty fucked right now.  Pretty fucked._

"You have a fucking billiards table at your place in Cali don't you?  Or they had one installed at one of the desert shit holes we frequented while deployed after the Air Force went through or something...."  Lexa more stated than questioned.

Echo nodded her head silently as she sunk her 4th ball into another pocket before confirming Lexa's suspicions verbally.

"At my place.  You're fucked my friend."  Echo projected puffing her chest out and pointing at Lexa from across the table with her cue stick.  She lined up to shoot another and missed horribly hissing between her teeth.

"Ah see how it goes?  Get too cocky and you start missing.  Call your pocket ya dick.  And I'm not fucked, just finally being challenged."  Lexa replied confidently before calling a corner pocket and sinking a green solid into it. 

"Your slap mark looks like a brand by the way."  Lexa brags barking laughter. 

"Oh and yours looks so fucking attractive.  I hope I beat your ass quick so you'll have to wear that bitch slap on your face when you're trying to convince one of those insanely gorgeous women to dance with you."  Echo added laughing herself.

 

                                                                              ***

_Meanwhile..._

"So you mean to tell me...that the fucking hot piece of ass shooting pool over there with an almost equally hot piece of ass is the woman that had you deliciously sore for days???  The 18 hour marathon runner????"  Raven exclaims eyes as wide as saucers as Octavia bellows laughter.

Clarke rubs her temples and nods slightly.

"And why in the blue fuck didn't you call Clarke!!"  Raven continues clearly exasperated at her friend's lack of good life choices.

"I second that.  I mean damn Clarke, I've never even thought of sleeping with a woman and even I would let her fuck me senseless."  Octavia adds. 

Raven looks over and notices the sudden darkening shade of Octavia's eyes as she hungrily observes the green eyed beauty currently bent over the billiards table in deep concentration.  As slurred as her speech was when declaring she would let Lexa have her way with her, Raven couldn't help but laugh heartily at Octavia's statement knowing full well that her friend was telling the truth.

Raven pushes her more than slightly tipsy friend's shoulder playfully and says, "Get in line O."

"Seriously, you two are NOT helping.  I fucked up ok and I know it but none of that solves my current predicament now does it.  So unless something you two can do or say will take away the pain in my head or bring my situation to a resolution, just please stop fucking with me."  Clarke pleads still rubbing her temples.

"Clarke, I'm sure you two aren't the first couple to have the awkward impromptu run in after the one night stand.  Get over it!"  Raven offers in an attempt to ease her friends mind.

Octavia remains fixated on the two brunettes in heated competition at the billiards table.

"Rae, you don't get it.  It's awkward because I meant to call and just never did and now she's here!"  Clarke laments.

 "SO??? Who cares anyway?  Just tell her what the deal was.  I mean you weren't calling for a good reason. You were completing your fucking residency program Clarke and we all know you hardly had time to eat much less have a flirty phone convo.  Its not like you never sent a text."  Octavia adds flapping a hand at her friend in a show of dismissal proving that she actually WAS paying attention to the conversation.

When Clarke didn't answer to confirm or deny the act of texting the gorgeous brunette, both Octavia and Raven growl in frustration.

"You fucking didn't did you!!"  Raven more states than asks.

Clarke looks up at her friends biting her lip with worry.

"No...I didn't."  The blonde admits.

"Well no wonder you're over here acting an ass."  Raven says rolling her eyes and throwing her hands in the air.

"Its because you are one!"  The latina concludes.

"Jesus fuck Captain Obvious don't you think I know that??"  Clarke laments sighing pitifully.

"Still, I'm not quite sure why you're buggin out Clarkie.  I don't think I've ever seen you like this.  Since when does it matter this much??"  Octavia inquired finally looking away from the pool table across the room and facing her friend.  She found that she was suddenly very curious about the dynamic between this alluring stranger and her best friend.

Clarke uncovered her face to look at her friends and closed her eyes for a few seconds.  She needed to narrow down the reasons and there were so many that it was difficult for her to categorize them in order of importance.

"There is just....she's special.  I didn't just meet her and have a one night stand.  I got to know her first.  It wasn't exactly the smoothest first impression I've ever given.  And yet..." 

Clarke paused closing her eyes. She took a deep breath remembering just how riveting it had felt to be the object of Lexa's desire when they were pressed up against each other in bed with nothing to separate their bare skin but a thin sheen of sweat.  She gripped the sides of the table as a wave of warm affection and arousal slammed into her body.  Her knuckles white and her breathing labored.

"Oh my GOD Clarkie....are those fucking goosebumps!"  Raven's screech was drenched in amusement as she rubbed a hand across Clarke's bare arm to confirm the presense of the gooseflesh.

Clarke yanked her arm away quickly but not fast enough.  Raven had confirmed what she set out to confirm and Clarke knew she would never let her live it down.

_oh well, might as well just tell them. Theyll drag it out of me anyway_

"It was way more than the best fucking sex I've ever had. She is so much more than this..." Clarke gestered a little wildly with her hand toward the pool table to try to find words that could best describe the perfection that is Lexa Woods.

 "Absolutely fucking prefect and delicious gay greek goddess! I mean....just the way she LOOKS at me...just that is enough to overwhelm me....and....I mean...she's so fucking sweet and tender and thoughtful and just.....I.....FUCK!"

Raven and Octavia were shocked but both began to laugh.

"Sounds like she broke way more than your pussy Clarke. She got under your skin and youre so fucking scared that you couldnt even TEXT her!"

"Jesus Christ Clarke." Octavia commented grinning wide and shaking her head apparently agreeing with Raven.

"I know...I know...." Clarke replied covering her face once more.

 

_20 minutes later_

 

"You know, if the game wasnt so close and your winning shot was skill instead of luck, I'd actually congratulate you but I refuse to do that now since you insist on being such a fucking dick!"

Echo could barely breathe through her mocking laughter after sinking in the 8 ball.

"I d...don't ....want to hear....it....GO!  GO already!  Don't ...you d dare...stall!"

The only upside to losing this particular bet to her best friend was that one of the three women who had spent most of their night in one corner of the room had come to order more drinks at the bar and Lexa pounced on the opportunity. 

The last thing the young cop wanted was to try to approach a woman in front of her friends.

The woman really was insanely gorgeous.  Full lips, warm brown eyes, smooth mocha skin and silky brown hair.  Lexa could tell right away that the woman worked out as hard or harder than she did and she was instantly both aroused and impressed.

_Maybe its enough common ground for her NOT to automatically shut me down.  
_

The woman wore a skirt and blouse that had to have been tailored to fit her body like a glove.  Lexa wasn't well versed on high fashion but a well tailored outfit was something that she could spot from a mile away.  Besides, it gave her the perfect view of the beautiful strangers smooth, defined leg muscles.

Lexa could still hear a faint tittering behind her from her best friend as she walked toward the bar but she ignored it as best she could as she pumped herself up in preparation for her approach.   

Lexa's green eyes were alight with determination.

"Uh, hello.  I'm Lexa.  What are you drinking tonight?" 

The young cop inquired stepping in close but not too close to the woman's right arm. 

The expression on the face of the stranger when she turned to look at Lexa began at amused and then shocked and finally settled on something that Lexa couldn't quite name.

"That's all you got Lexa?  Not even gonna try a line on me?  Is that how you talk to every woman that you approach?"  Before Lexa could even respond, Luna interjected and although Lexa didn't need the back up she was happy with the result.

"Actually, Lexa here doesn't approach women at all.  They usually approach her.  Count yourself the lucky one....Raven Reyes."  Luna states matter of factly after glancing at the woman's (Raven's) ID and taking her credit card to start a tab.

"Oh is that so?"  Raven responded with a smile that transformed an already angelically gorgeous face into a painfully flawless breathtaking sight.  Lexa had been wrong when she first saw this woman.  It really WAS possible for her to be MORE gorgeous the longer she looked at her.

"What Luna says goes.  She is the owner of this place after all."  Lexa responds while simultaneously scrambling in her head to figure out how she was going to seguey into asking Raven to dance.

"Well Lexa, I do feel special, so thanks.  I can see why women probably throw themselves at you where ever you go." 

Raven's eyes were sparkling magically and her mischievous smile was mesmerizing but Lexa was also beginning to feel like a fly caught in a spiders net.  There was some underlying mystery lingering in the air and Lexa wasn't quite comfortable with the way it was making her feel.

The young cop laughed nervously rubbing the back of her neck and looking down at her wingtipped leather boots.  Raven smirked as she watched how Lexa slowly slipped from a sexy vixen persona to that of a nervous puppy.  She found it absolutely adorable.

"That actually does not happen very often.  Luna might have given off the wrong impression but the fact about not initiating is 100% true. Its hard to be original approaching gorgeous women when originality is so difficult to accomplish.  I mean, they're getting hit on left and right and all I want to do is talk and cut right to the point.  That isn't always attractive."  Lexa explained leaning an arm against the bar to give herself something to do while she attempted to ease her way in.

"On the contrary, I find that EXTREMELY attractive Lexa.  In fact, I want you to cut right to the point now.  I've never shied away from a hot woman that knows what she wants."  Raven admitted biting her lip and looking into Lexa's green eyes.

"Ok Raven, I came over to ask you to dance."

Raven smiled again, this time scrunching her nose adorably.   _Oh, ok...she's NOT all talk....hot AND exciting._

The Latina shook her head trying to convince herself that this was actually happening.

_What are the fucking odds! Clarke is gonna shit herself._

“Oh you are so on. I just hope you can handle me Lexa.”  Raven said leaning forward into Lexa’s personal space and playfully pushing her shoulder.

The look on Lexa’s face when she smiled at Raven was a true testament to her confidence on the dance floor.

Her amusement threatened to bubble to the surface when she thought about the possibility that Raven had no clue what kind of dancing she was talking about.

Leaning forward slightly, Lexa lifted her right hand palm up waiting for Raven to take it. Lexa smirked lightly when the Latina gave in.  Turning toward Luna, Lexa raised one eyebrow slightly and Luna laughed and nodded already knowing what her friend and patron wanted her to do.

“Gotcha Lex….Globilization right?” Luna said before grabbing a remote to change the channel on her satellite radio deck.

“Yea, that should do.” Lexa replied before leading Raven to the dance floor.

A regaeton remix of Lexa’s favorite bachata song began booming over the speakers and the scared look on Raven’s face made Lexa burst out laughing.

“I take it you have never danced bachata before huh?” Lexa asked.

Raven began shaking her head as she answered, “Ba- what? Never even heard of it!  This isn’t fair Lexa!  You tricked me!  So not cool!”  Raven scolded playfully.

“Sorry beautiful but trust me, its not hard at all! Its just a few easy steps repeated over and over and I’ll lead you through the rest!  I promise!”  Lexa assured the latina as she stood across from her on the dance floor.

Raven let go of the police officer’s hand and crossed her arms over her chest pouting.

Lexa laughed again. The pout on Raven’s lips making it impossible for her not to.

“Look I promise the steps are simple and I guarantee youll have a good time. If not you can….I don’t know….” 

Lexa scrambled to find a back up plan to pacify her unwilling dance partner.

“Slap you hard across the face for your trickery?” Raven offered quirking a thick eyebrow and narrowing her pretty brown eyes.

“Sure, sure…well I promised my sister I wouldn’t get into any bar fights so as long as you don’t leave any evidence then you are free to slap me as hard as you can.” Lexa’s smile was full blown now and her amusement shown through in the electric quality of her green eyes.

_Jesus, she’s gorgeous. Clarke better fix this._

Raven dropped her arms from where they were tucked and reluctantly took Lexa’s hands again.

After Lexa taught Raven the steps and the Latina picked them up with no problem, Lexa pulled Raven's lithe body into her.

"The rest is all about pelvis rotation."  Lexa further demonstrated, swirling her hips around slowly so Raven could see the beginning and end of each rotation.

Raven was nodding but when she watched the sinful movement of this beautiful woman's hips she couldn't help giggling and shaking her head.

_I can't believe I just fucking giggled like a pansy ass school girl.  Of course she can fuck like there's no tomorrow...look at how she fucking MOVES!_

Raven couldn't help laughing even harder at the thought in her head.  She knew that the assumption that every good dancer was great in bed wasn't always true but in this case, since she already knew Lexa was AMAZING in bed, it only heightened the humor of this whole situation.

Lexa noticed the latina laughing and laughed right along with her although she was confused as to what exactly had struck the latina so funny.

She smiled and moved on.

"Now the last thing you want to do when dancing something as fast as bachata....is think."  Lexa instructed speaking loudly even though Raven could probably hear her at a conversational level since their faces were only about a foot apart.

Raven nodded her head smiling and biting her lip.

Lexa leaned in so she didn't have to yell and the nervous flutter that filled Raven's stomach was enough to make her body stiffen. 

Lexa felt it.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to yell again.  Is this ok?"  Lexa spoke into the latina's ear.

Raven's shocked expression turned into one of amusement as she felt a wave of embarrassment sweep across her chest.

Clarke and Octavia watched their every move from where they sat across the room. 

From Lexa and Raven's position on the dance floor, they could see Raven's face and Lexa's back.

Raven nodded her head and said, "Yea of course."  Chuckling a little and burying her face in Lexa's shoulder in relief.

_Was I really thinking she was gonna kiss me?  Wow._

"Ok, all good.  So when I lightly squeeze your hip like this..." Lexa instructed as she applied pressure on Raven's hip with her right hand.

Raven nodded looking down a little at Lexa's hand.

The only detail that registered in the latina's brain was

_Her fucking fingers are soooo LONG!_

Raven's body shook with laughter at the thought.  Lexa continued with her instruction ignoring the latina's strange behavior.

"....well when you feel me do that, it means I'm gonna go into a turn.  And when I squeeze your hand, that means I'm gonna twirl you."

Lexa said squeezing Raven's right hand in her left. 

"Got it?"  Lexa asked pulling her head back just enough to look at Raven.

Raven smiled at her excitedly and nodded her head.

"Ok, here we go...remember, don't think.  Just have fun ok?"  Lexa reminded one last time before they began to move together into the first steps.

Echo stood near the pool table sipping her drink and watching with rapt interest.  She knew her friend would be successful getting any woman in the bar to dance with her but after the retelling of the story about that dick licking cunt Costia, she wanted her friend to get her confidence back.  It seemed to be working.  So far at least.  Echo was even feeling a bit of envy as she checked out the gorgeous latina woman that had agreed to the dance.

_She doesn't even need to have game.  Must be nice being that attractive._

Raven and Lexa moved around the empty dance floor to the end of the bachata song and right into another remix. 

The globalization station was notorious for getting some of the best latin djs to spin on weekends and Lexa knew she couldn't go wrong finding something to dance to on her favorite dance channel.

Raven noticed a change in Lexa's movements and began to get a little nervous.

"I can feel your body going stiff.  Don't quit on me now Raven.  You're doing great.  Its just a slight change into merengue.  Let me lead you and you won't go wrong."  Lexa assured the latina.

They had a few hiccups but they eventually found their groove.  Raven was enormously impressed with this woman's charm and the way she moved her body.

She could feel the firm muscle under Lexa's black and gray flannel and could see the gorgeous curve of waist and hips.  The ribbed heather gray tank she wore underneath the flannel hugged her body so tight she could make out the outline of Lexa's abs.  By the time the two were done dancing, Raven had firmly decided that she needed to get this woman and her friend talking again.

She knew that maybe Clarke didn't deserve a chance to explain herself since she fucked up but she also knew that Clarke needed help to see a good chance at real happiness. 

Her friend had never been hurt in the past as she and Octavia had but she had witnessed enough pain from both of their past experiences to be scared enough not to let herself fall into a trap with someone that was going to hurt her.

Add that to the reluctance of putting anything above or equal to her ambition for a successful career and Raven feared that her best friend may end up alone for the rest of her life.

Nearby, Echo watched as the blonde woman that had been sitting in the corner all night made her way to the bar.

Echo's eyes trailed the woman's body and the gentle sway of her full curvaceous hips.  Her platinum blonde locks bounced slightly just past her shoulders.  The glossy shade of the relaxed waves in her hair caused Echo to stutter blink.  The Marine knew she was witnessing one of, if not the most heart wrenching beauties she had ever laid her eyes on.  Echo normally knew how to be subtle when she wanted to observe an attractive woman but right now she knew that if the blonde were to look her way she'd be busted and what's worse is that she didn't even care.

The blonde seemed transfixed on the dance floor and why not?  Her friend was out there dancing with a beautiful stranger.  At least, that's what Echo's immediate assumption was.

But after further investigation of the blonde's body language and facial expressions, Echo determined that the lip biting, heavy swallowing, and seductive half lidded eyes were all signs that the blonde was checking her friend out.

_Time to play wing man._

"She's a charmer alright and the way she looks is not even half the story.  She's one of a kind." 

Echo appeared by the blonde's side speaking just loud enough for her to hear.  The blonde turned suddenly to see who had snuck up on her.

Echo thought she had seen all the woman's best qualities from across the room but when she felt her heart stutter in her chest at the arresting blue shade of the blonde's eyes she knew she had been seriously mistaken.

_Holy SHIT_

"Oh really?  And how would you know?"  Clarke inquired looking back at the couple on the dance floor.

"Because Lexa and I were deployed together...repeatedly.  She was always my battle buddy.  Always."

The statement was innocent enough but as soon as Clarke realized that this sexy woman next to her knew Lexa rather intimately, she felt defeated and even if she would never admit it, she was jealous as well.

The statement about always being battle buddies could mean FUCK buddies as well.

"I see."  Clarke responded not knowing exactly what to say.

"She's the closest to a real life hero that you're ever gonna get.  Two bronze stars.  One Silver star for valor.  She got the silver for charging a terrorist stronghold with 30 pieces of shrapnel in her body and no ammunition.  She sliced through 15 insurgents with one switchblade and a machete she took off the belt of a man she killed on her way in.  She killed 4 more with her bare hands.  All so she could take out the sniper that was stationed on the roof.  He had picked 5 of us off already and had us pinned down for a whole 72 hours.  And that's just while she was an active duty Marine.  As a cop...well that list is anything short of exemplary.  She's the most fearless person I know.  The strongest and the fiercest."

Clarke felt a raging fire of shame and guilt explode in the pit of her stomach as she turned to look at the unknown woman.

"You seem to idolize her.  She seems too good to be true."

Echo smiled slyly lifting her hands out to the side and shrugging. "Only speaking the truth.  If I'm lying I'm dying." 

Clarke chuckled softly.

"Lexa is your classic beauty who has a million little idiosyncrasies and hidden talents that people usually think she just HAS to be an arrogant bitch but she is the furthest from that.  She was even the face for a whole knew advertising campaign the Marine Corps was putting out back in 2012 when she was still active.  She just walked into a movie theater one day to watch a movie...alone...yea I know....lame....but she was wearing skinny jeans and a heather gray USMC t shirt.  No makeup, no hair product....no nothing.  The head of the USMC ad agency saw her and harassed her relentlessly for 2 weeks after when she refused to pose for the ads.  Eventually she had to agree when our LT and her NOW ex fiancé practically forced her into it.  Her ex is a cunt by the way...."  Echo added relishing any opportunity to use that word in association with Costia.

"Anyway, Lexa proved to be the prefect combination of beauty and strength which is what they were looking for.  They wanted to show a different side of the corps.  Where women could be beautiful and badass at the same time.  Sometimes Lexa makes me sick to my stomach.  Girl has it all."  The brunette admitted with just a slight tinge of envy in her voice but when Clarke looked over and saw the soft smile on the brunette's lips she could see that love was the main emotion Echo was feeling toward Lexa.  And the love ran deep.

"That douche that discovered her didn't even know she was an active duty Marine that had already seen 4 deployments!  Just thought she was some chick who's boyfriend was deployed or something and she was wearing his shirt.  Of course that shit stain would think that.  Who knew people with vaginas could wear Marine Corps uniforms too!"

Clarke laughed once again not being able to help herself.  Lexa's friend was funny and blunt and kind of rough around the edges.  She liked her immediately.

"Yea....fucking ignorance....but anyway, you should check it out.  The ads I mean.  All you gotta do is google it and you'll see her fucking pretty little perfect face in about 5 or 6 different ads.  Like I said, one of a kind.  She helps strays find homes, donates and volunteers for charities and homeless shelters, plays the drums...even sings a little.  And...."  Echo pauses and waits for Clarke to look at her again.

...she's single."

Clarke's fair skin blooms red and she feels heat rising to her cheeks and up her neck.  She can't help smiling shyly and biting her lip even with that horrible sinking feeling savagely bombarding her chest.

_I fucked up so bad with such a fucking amazing woman._

"My name is Echo by the way.  Lexa's boring side kick.  She keeps me around for shits and giggles."  Clarke couldn't help chuckling shyly again at the brunette's words.

"I'm Clarke Griffin.  That's my friend Raven out there."

"Ah I see.  Well, your friend is absolutely gorgeous Clarke Griffin."  

Clarke laughed never taking her eyes off the pair.

Clarkes drinks were mixed and set up on the bar ready for her to take.

"It was nice meeting you Echo. Ill be sure to pass on your thoughtful compliment to Raven." 

Echo smiled sweetly nodding her head and Clarke made her way back to the table.

 

                                                                     ***

_15 minutes later on the dance floor_

"You picked that up fairly easy Raven.  This type of dancing does NOT come easy trust me.  Thanks, It was really fun."  Lexa said taking Raven's hand and kissing it softly.

"Damn Lexa you really are a charmer aren't you!"  Raven laughed watching the brunette's small ears turn red as she fumbled around with her luxurious chocolate locks sweeping them all over one shoulder.

"I try."  Lexa admitted shrugging her shoulders and looking around awkwardly. 

"Hey come over and meet my friends really quick.  I think you'll find them even MORE interesting than I am.  Maybe you can even teach them a few moves too."  The latina offered waving Lexa over to the corner of the room.

Clarke saw what Raven intended to do.  She turned her back to them completely once more and looked at Octavia's amused expression.

"I'm gonna fucking murder Raven and bury her....TWICE!"  Clarke gritted angrily between pearly white teeth. 

Octavia laughed delighted at the show that was about to unfold in front of her.

"So, Lexa...this is one of two of my best friends Octavia Blake.  She is a legal aid...for now."  Raven said pausing so that Octavia could shake Lexa's hand and exchange pleasantries. 

"Where did you learn how to dance like that Lexa?" Octavia asked after letting Lexas well moisterized but calloused hand go

"The short answer...on deployment." Lexa replied chuckling a little at Octavias baffled expression.

Raven had made a point not to make eye contact with Clarke as soon as she approached the table with Lexa trailing behind her.

Knowing the blonde as well as she did told her that Clarke was livid right about now.  Raven knew her role right now was to give her friend some tough love.  It may not be nice and it may not be the most comfortable of situations but in the end it was for Clarke's own good.

"And this is my other best friend Clarke Griffin...I think you two might actually know each other already."  Raven said sarcastically, a shit eating grin taking over her features.

Lexa heard the name leave Raven's lips and felt the blood drain from her face.  She swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. 

Lexa's fight or flight instincts were kicking in and she felt her body jerk as she fought off the strong urge to turn on her heel and leave immediately.  She definitely DID NOT want this woman to know how bad she had fucked with her emotions. 

Lexa schooled her features and cleared her throat softly before stepping forward courageously and very formally shaking Clarke's hand with one firm pump. 

 "Hello Dr. Griffin. Good to see you again." Lexa greeted monotonely and so softly that she could barely be heard over the music. 

Clarke was at a loss for words. The guilt and desperation locking up her vocal chords.

She wanted to tell Lexa she was so sorry for fucking up. For not responding and not calling.

She wanted to pull Lexa into a hug and ask her for another chance.

She wanted to run her fingers over Lexas prominent, breathtaking cheekbones and tell her how amazing she thought she was.

She wanted to do and say so much but in the end she did and said nothing.

"So anyway, it was good to meet you both..." Lexa continued looking at the two brunettes to her left and smiling politely.

"Thanks for not shutting me down Raven." The soft and even tone in Lexa's voice gave nothing away but Raven was not blind to the underlying meaning.

_Tough love Clarkie.  Tough Love._

"Oh please, you're irresistible Lexa.  Only a blind fool would shut you down."  Raven replied without a single hesitation.  This time she DID look at her friend and was met with a dangerous scowl.

"Well, I highly doubt that but thanks.  Youre a beautiful dancer. Now if you gorgeous ladies will excuse me,  I have to go back to entertain MY best friend now. Shes a guest in the city and I've neglected her for far too long.  Have a good night." Lexa stated formally nodding her head to them and turning around.

Echo met Lexa in the middle of the dance floor knowing that something just wasnt quite right.

"Follow me to the back patio.  Don't ask questions.  Just...turn around and follow me."  Lexa spoke to her friend urgently grabbing her and guiding her the opposite way.  Echo looked past Lexa's shoulder as she slightly stumbled on her feet.

"Lex, that hotter than fuck blonde is following you and I think she wants to talk to you.  Hell, looks like she wants to do more than talk."

"I'm putting as much distance between that corner of the room and myself as I can ASAP Ecks.  If you want to know details you'll follow me out and quit slowing me down."  The police officer looked at her best friend through a scowl that reflected the seriousness of her statement.

"Ok, Ok gotcha commander.  Let's go."  Echo turned around walking shoulder to shoulder with her friend.

As soon as they cleared the door to the patio and it swung shut behind them Echo spoke up.

"We can always just leave my friend.  The way you look I think that might be best."  Echo advised as she quickly tried to keep up with the police sgt making her way across the large expanse of Faya's patio through a grip of Houston smokers.

"I want to separate myself without clueing her in to the fact that I'm fucking pissed at her.  I don't want her to know that she got to me at all."  Lexa reasoned as she finally stopped to sit in an open chair at one of the very few open tables left.

"Well fuck me....what exactly went down between the two of you?  SHe's fucking hot as shit!  Those kind of women always end up being some type of unattainable."  The surly Marine opined as she plopped down in the chair across from her best friend.

"Well I guess I'm going to learn that the hard way Ecks..."  Lexa trailed off slumping back in her chair and letting her head fall back as she closed her eyes.

"Ok quick.... before she gets here....did you fuck her?"  Echo asked quietly so the other patrons couldn't hear her.

"Jesus Christ Echo....don't be so fucking vulgar.  Yes, we had sex."   

"What the fucks wrong with you Lexa?  First of all, since when does it fucking matter how I talk?  What's with all this avoiding shit?  Why all the conflict?  I mean...don't they teach jarheads how to mount their women properly?" 

This asanine comment was meant to aggravate Lexa further but to Echo's surprise, Lexa took it down a totally different path.

"Oh you mean consulting chapter 5 in the Marine Corps Manual on how to mount the old lady in an.....

 **"....orderly proficient military manner."**   Both Marines recited together peeling off into hysterical laughter.

"Oh like gunny Chavez?  Didn't you end up fucking his wife?  Remember?  She said he fucked like..."

Before Echo could finish her sentence Lexa was already laughing silently.  Her whole body shaking with effort.

"Frankenstien's monster..."  Lexa sputtered out between laughs.

Echo's eyes bulged out comically when Lexa refreshed her memory and soon a vein in her neck was bulging as well when she began laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

It took the pair of Marines a few moments to gain their bearings.

"Oh and no...I didn't fuck his wife.  You already know I don't sleep with other people's wives."  Echo remained silent looking at her friend expectantly.

Before Echo could inquire further Lexa tried to speak but when she opened her mouth a barking laugh emerged instead and the women were off again.

"It....it was his.....GIRLFRIEND!"  Lexa squealed doubling over and holding the table for support even though she was still seated.

Echo's laughter was silent until she accidently snorted and then Lexa guffawed in the middle of trying to catch her breath which caused her to begin coughing.

"Oh God....Oh God...Lex....I'm either gonna pee or puke...oh fuck...."  Echo half laughed and half cried wiping at her weeping eyes.

"I...c can't....I....that's the one you wanted to....to....GAAGGGG!"  Echo screeched and Lexa nodded silently still holding her stomach to remedy the ache.

"She...she...kept asking what I was thinking....in ....in the middle....of everything!"

"Who does that??"  Echo squeaked barely able to speak.

Stamping their feet, holding their stomachs, wiping their tears is how Clarke found them when she tentatively approached their table.

"Here's to Gunny Chavez the Frankenstein and all the rest of the souls that never made it home."  Echo suddenly spoke up lifting her glass and clinking it against LExa's.

"For those we've lost And for those we shall soon find."  Lexa added before downing the rest of her whiskey.

She slouched onced more after setting her glass down and closed her eyes again.

A few seconds passed before she heard Echo clear her throat and whisper scream her name but she ignored it.  If some kind of confrontation was going to happen she could do nothing to stop it.  It was inevitable just as it seemed to have been from the moment Lexa came face to face with Clarke for the first time.

"Um...hi...uh...so I guess this is not a very good first impression to make on Lexa's best friend.  Seems that I haven't been very good at those lately.  Lexa and I... we....uh met through work."  

Lexa heard the tentative, nervous quality of Clarke's shaky voice as she spoke to Echo.  She knew exactly why Clarke was nervous too.  Her best friend was known for scaring the shit out of people with one intimidating glare and she knew that Echo was probably doing that very thing to Clarke right now.

It was almost enough to make Lexa smile.  Almost.

"Oh yea?  You know, you could've told me that you knew Lexa when I was talking her up.  It was ok to let me know she didn't need my wing man expertise because you knew all those things about her already."  Echo stated standing up and facing the young doctor.  The intimidating brunette stuffed her hands in her jean pockets and looked Clarke up and down through squinted judging eyes.

"Oh...uh...I actually DIDN'T know any of what you told me.  I was hearing all of it for the first time."  Clarke admitted nervously looking down at the ground at their feet but not retreating.

Lexa still had her eyes closed but the proximity of Clarke's voice was still as close as it had been before.  

_Clarke Griffin is incredibly brave..._

"Of course you wouldn't know any of that.  The commander....Lexa here....well you see, on top of being all that she is and accomplishing all that she has, she also has a tendency to be...hm how can I put it.... well....just amazingly humble and incredibly compassionate.  You know, all the shit that decent human beings had back in the day when everything wasn't so fucking superficial and shady.  Speaking of, you don't look like a cop..... AT ALL."  Echo continued, expression dropping into a full on scowl as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Nope, not a cop Ecks....good observation.  She's a doc.  Was on duty during my shifts sometimes." 

"A doctor...I see...."  Echo paused looking the blonde over again from toe to head.

"Can I uh....Lexa...can we talk?"  Clarke asked timidly, holding her breath and preparing to be shut down.

Lexa sighed closing her eyes again still unmoved from her slouched position on her chair.

"And what would you need to talk to ME about Clarke.  What ever you think you have to say just forget it.  Its no big deal.  Really."

"I have no idea what happened or what is going on right now but...remember this Clarke, I am better at smelling the bullshit and seeing the light than Lexa ever was.  Especially if the bearer of the bullshit is as attractive as you.  So whatever you think you have to say to my best friend can be said right now.  In front of me.  There are no secrets between us.  The only reason I don't know about you is probably because Lexa didn't want to burden me with any of her problems.  Or who knows, maybe you aren't as important as you think you are to her.  Wouldn't surprise me.  Women like you tend to think that EVERYTHING is about YOU."  Echo sneers tilting her chin up.

"You don't know a damn thing about me.  You may be her best friend and I respect that but that gives you no right to judge anyone that you know nothing about."  Clarke stated through gritted teeth barely able to keep her voice even.

Echo knew very little about the gorgeous blonde standing in front of her but in this moment she had enormous respect for her.  She knew it was not easy for someone to be brave to stay and not give up even when someone was intimidating them.

"You're right, I have no right to judge anyone.  I said Lexa was decent and good, doesn't mean I am.  Also doesn't mean I'm gonna make it easy on anyone that is looking to fuck with her."  Echo challenged.

"I'm not trying to fuck with her.  I...fuck...look...Lexa...I fucked up."  Clarke stated trying to keep her voice even but sounding desperate anyway.  She tried making eye contact with Lexa around Echo's broad shoulders but failed.  And Echo was NOT going to budge.

"I just wanted to tell you that I fucked up and I'm woman enough to admit that and I'm also woman enough to say I'm sorry.  I...fuck...just, I'm so fucking sorry Lexa.  That's all I wanted you to know."  Clarke concludes feeling so sad and defeated as she reluctantly turns around and begins to walk back toward the building.

"Wait!  Clarke...come here!"  Lexa commanded just loud enough for the blonde to be able to hear her.

She looked up at her best friend and had a silent conversation with her.

Echo nodded her head solemnly before turning back to look at Clarke.

"I'm going inside to the bathroom...maybe flirt with your friends a little.  I came into town for two weeks Clarke.  I haven't seen my best friend in YEARS.  I'm warning you, if you ruin this reunion for us....I'll make you pay.  You don't deserve to even speak to her.  If I find out that you even LOOKED at her wrong...."

"Echo!  Em pleni....fuck...its enough my friend.  Go off and have fun.  Tell Luna I said to give you whatever you want.  Oh and PLEASE keep your clothes on!  At least until I get there."  Lexa orders smirking softly.

Echo turns reluctantly to look at her friend.  She offers her arm to Lexa and the police officer takes it gripping her forearm.  They nod solemnly at each other and then Echo leaves.

Lexa looks up at the stunning vision that is Clarke Griffin and gives her a small nod of acknowledgment.  "Sit."

 


	6. Welcome to the Suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait and for the mistakes. Happy reading.

"You're the one that met my cat, ate my food and then vanished." 

Lexa's slender fingers meticulously slid over a decades old vintage zippo lighter she always carried with her.  She repeatedly opened and closed the steel top designed to suffocate a flame that was meant to remain everlastingly lit.  The back of the lighter facing Clarke was smooth and blank but the front was covered in precious engraving that must have cost Lexa's uncle a small fortune even with the discounted military price per letter that was offered to deployed Marines in Vietnam. 

The engraving on the top read "TRIKRU" and was larger than the letters engraved on the body of the lighter.  Every letter engraved into the steel surface of the device were all capitalized and neatly printed.  Below on the body of the zippo was a quote that Lexa's father had been fond of saying:

"Victory stands on the back of sacrifice." 

A family motto that had followed Lexa her entire life.  Echoing in the background whenever she doubted herself or the difficulties she has had to overcome.

The small, tinny sound of the clicking hinge that connected the main body of the zippo to the top dinged warm and comforting in Lexa's small ears.  This habit was just one of many strategies Lexa had developed over time to help calm her nerves.  

When she spoke, her voice was just loud enough to be heard over the din and not an octave more.

The young cop had her left (non gun) hand curled into a fist and hidden in the pocket of a well worn pair of ripped jeans.

Clarke sat across the table from Lexa feeling nervous and conflicted.  Her blue eyes lacking their usual vibrance, flitted from Lexa's down cast gaze to the lighter in her right hand and then back.

_What the hell do I say to that????_

"You're the one that had me convulsing under your body for hours on end."  Clarke replied after a long agonizing pause.

"Oh?  Well thank you for confirming that I, in fact, was NOT hallucinating after all."  The brunette sarcastically replied finally making eye contact with Clarke.

Clarke registered a cold indifference in those large addictive eyes.  Their interactions were expressive from the beginning, established heavily in direct eye contact from both parties especially on Lexa's end but now things were different. 

The mood had shifted into something dark and uncertain.  

Clarke could see that the brunette was guarding that glimpse into her thoughts and her resolve was strong.  The act of guarding extremely aggressive.

Clarke felt her heart constricting in her chest.

"Of course you weren't hallucinating Lexa."  Clarke assured her sighing regretfully, her voice slightly trembling.

"Ok, very well.  I'm glad we could clear that up.  Wouldn't want to go through a whole fit for duty ordeal just to wear my uniform again."  Lexa continued frozen in her attempt at dark humor.

Clarke was about to speak when Lexa silenced her raising one long fingered hand off the table top.  The cherished lighter stood standing upright in the absence of Lexa's ministrations like a tiny ominous tombstone.

"Thank you Clarke.  The truth is, I needed that wake up call.  If you haven't noticed already, its very difficult for me to trust anyone.  Not only because of my upbringing but because of my history with women.  I needed a good hard back hand to the face to realize that no matter what, getting fucked over is still a VERY REAL possibility."  Lexa explained sitting up straight and confidently looking Clarke right in the eyes.

"Its not your fault.  I have casual sex with women all the time.  We are adults and I'm anything but innocent.  The ghosting after the sex...that is quite normal for a one night stand.  I prefer it.  Once I have been intimate with a woman I never repeat my actions.  It is a personal rule for me and I never deviate from my rules."

"Oh but you WERE going to deviate from your rules, Lexa.  At least that's what you led me to believe."  Clarke interjected in a clipped tone so sharp she could barely believe it herself.

_Am I seriously getting defensive right now?  WTF is wrong with me!  I fucked up!  FIX THIS RIGHT NOW!_

But deep down Clarke knew why she was reacting this way.  Lexa had just revealed the fact that their time together actually wasn't as special as Clarke had initially thought. Lexa had dismissively stated that similar sexual trists were pretty common in her bedroom.

_I mean, after all, she fucks women all the time and she never pulls a repeat..._

Clarke's inner thoughts spoke up so suddenely and so full of disgust that it was hard for the blonde to ignore and furthermore analyze the true nature of what she was feeling.

Lexa plainly stated that she never went back once she got what she wanted.  Clarke was not angry.  No, angry wasn't the proper descriptive word.  Clarke was livid.  And yes...maybe she was just a little jealous as well.

 _Jealous???  Why would_   _I be jealous???_ _Yea....no point in denying it you idiot...you're fucking jealous and I fucking hate you for this!  FUck you and your fucking heart and fuck her for being so fucking irresistable!_

Lexa saw the fury in Clarke's expression and couldn't help chuckling.  She wasn't exactly sure what Clarke was angry about and the last thing she was going to believe was that Clarke was jealous.  

_She'd have to feel something pretty significant to care at all right now._

"What the hell is so funny Lexa?  Is that what your intentions with Raven were?  Is that how you get them in bed with you?  Its a pretty good technique.  Pretty original and its clear that you're fairly skilled on a dance floor.  Too bad she knew who you were all along.  Sorry for fucking up your chances.  Trust me, it wasn't my idea for her to walk you over to the table and introduce you that way."  

Clarke's voice had slowly built into a more aggressive and heightened volume as she spoke and Lexa found that she only found it more and more amusing as the seconds passed.  

She was full out laughing now.

_Oh shit, I'm just a tad bit drunk.  Great._

This thought made Lexa double over laughing so hard she held a hand on the surface of the table for support as her face became hidden when she ducked under and out of Clarke's view.  Clarke crossed her arms and huffed clearly not amused at all.

"This is why." 

Lexa motioned toward Clarke with one hand when she was finally able to speak.  She wiped her eyes of the tears that had formed as her laughter tapered off.

"This is why I choose to be alone.  Its easier for you to make me the sole focus of your anger.  You are so desperate to relieve yourself of whatever burden of guilt you might feel right now that you refuse to see the possibility that there might be more to the story.  I choose to live this way for a reason.  But to learn any of that you'd actually have to WANT to know ME.  Not just say what sounds good in the moment because you think that is what I would like to hear.  Clarke, wanting my body and wanting the sex is not a valid incentive to get to know me.  It has to be deeper than that.  You would have to learn how to control her."  Lexa stated stoically looking down Clarke's body and resting her eyes between Clarke's legs long enough for the blonde to understand what she was talking about.

Lexa had gone from outright genuine laughter to sobering seriousness and anyone that didn't know her well enough would think that it was just a show.  That her most recent statement was just another elaborate joke that was simply more amusing if she recited it with a cold, serious expression.  But Clarke knew better.  Lexa was brutally honest and in this moment 100% serious.

"Do you know how arrogant that sounds?  I'm just curious.  Is it deliberate?"  Clarke growled suddenly not able to control herself.

Lexa laughed again but there was no real humor behind it.

"I may be arrogant Clarke, but you're a coward.  Every woman I've been intimate with has known exactly what they're in for before ever consenting.  I am clear and up front.  I am anything but a knight in shining armor but I don't ever promise them that I am going to want seconds and thirds or that I am going to be in touch after they leave my bed. I may have never been interested in something more than sex with these women but that doesn't mean I have to make them feel like they...."

Lexa mumbled the end of her sentence just in time.  She suddenely felt dizzy with fear and so disgusted with herself that her stomach lurched unpleasantly.  She didn't want Clarke to know how bad she had fucked with her emotions and yet here she was about to admit to none other than Clarke herself, that she had made her feel like she wasn't enough.

_And this is why you don't drink passed your limit you jack ass._

"Like they what, Lexa?"  Clarke inquired softly.  

Her heart ached painfully in her chest at Lexa's words.  The blonde had dialed down her tone completely, desperately wanting to know what Lexa was about to say.  What Lexa was hiding.  Her anger suddenly receding like a thick fog on the surface of a lake disappearing slowly as the sun comes up. 

Something in Lexa's haunting green eyes.  An empty cold corner of pain that she was frantically trying to conceal was beckoning the blonde to investigate further.

"Nothing.  It doesn't matter.  Its done and over with and you weren't interested in anything more than what we had.  Now I am sure of it and now I'm....back on track, so thank you.  It wasn't right...not replying to my text and not contacting me but its partly my fault for believing you so don't worry about it."  Lexa shrugged her shoulders sending a small artificial smile across the table at the one person she never thought she'd have to face again.

"Lexa...you have no clue how wrong you are.  Calling me a coward is spot on, I give you that but thinking that I wasn't interested in anything more is so so wrong."

Lexa was momentarily taken aback.  She avoided eye contact looking over the top of the table at her own hand.  Scarred and caloused and rough. Still caressing a decades old relic that, to her, was worth so much more in sentimental value than the thousands of dollars she'd been offered for it over the years.  She found the sight curious trying to remember when exactly she had begun fiddling with the lighter again.

Clarke perceived a warring conflict in Lexa's head and began to feel like maybe she had ruined her chances with Lexa for good if she ever had a chance in the first place.

_Do I want a chance....wait hold up....a chance at what....what am I doing????_

Before she could second guess herself, Clarke leaned over and gently draped her warm hand over the top of Lexa's effectively stopping the movement of her hand.

In a milisecond, gun metal eyes dangerously snap up impaling metallic blue as swiftly as a Mako shark closing in on a bluefish, its preferred sourse of sustenance. 

Clarke's breath caught in her throat so violently that she had to swallow hard in order to put a hault to an explosive cough.

Lexa wasn't fairing any better with her full lips slightly parted in shock at the arresting feeling of a simple touch of Clarke's hand.  In awe at the exhilarating power this woman held over her.  The weight of her eyelids growing so rapidly that they sunk half way down her pupils like half drawn shades on a brilliantly bright summer day.

_I think I really am TOTALLY FUCKED._

"I...I uh..."  Clarke attempted but had to pause once more to clear her throat.

"I just...I hardly had time for anything other than work for the last few weeks because I was finally completing my residency program but...."  

Clarke shook her head a little and began again.

"What I mean is that...my schedule is always so fucking....weird and yea I completed the program but that still doesn't mean I have a 9 to 5 schedule with weekends off.  I dont even have a job...its a career and I feel that you have a very demanding career as well so you understand that part of my life....I mean...right?"

Lexa nodded her head silently in assent.

"But um...that's just....um I'm not trying to use my schedule as an excuse....I just wanted to get that out there because well, its the reason I never wanted anything serious with anyone.  I don't answer to anyone and I don't have to hear any complaining about how many hours I work or how...I don't know, my priorities are not in order....I guess I've also witnessed my fair share of arguments between my parents too.  Enough to not really want to deal with any added stress or pressure on top of my work load.  My mom is a surgeon and my dad is an architect but he mostly worked from home when i was growing up and well...anyway...that's off subject."

Lexa watched Clarke continue her nervous tirade and found the blonde so adorable she had to dig the tips of her fingers into her own thigh with the hand she still had in her pocket just to keep herself from interrupting her by saying something vile like,

"Can I kiss you?" or

"You are sincerely the most stunning woman I have ever met.  Absolutely breathtaking." or

_wait....WTF!!!_

Lexa shook her head slightly hoping it would clear her frantic thoughts.

"But anyway...like I was saying, that's not an excuse I'm giving you for completely disappearing.  A text wouldn't have taken up much of my time....I...I was just scared...."  Clarke's voice was almost a whisper now. 

Lexa sat up and leaned in straining to hear every word of the blonde's confession.

Clarke looked up noticing the movement and cleared her throat once more.  She was determined to make Lexa understand that she never meant to hurt her.

"I was afraid Lexa."  Her voice now firm and loud enough to be heard.

"Well...I STILL am...afraid I mean...of....ugh....of how you make me feel....I know that sounds so fucking juvenile but...."  Clarke sighed and looked down biting her lip.  "....its true."

Their hands still remained in the same position as Clarke spoke and Lexa stared at the blondes pink lips moving to form words.  The longing and awe filled look still displayed on the brunette's face as she took in the information.  Lost in the meaning of the feeling slamming into her body in waves.

"I...I don't know how this works Lexa....I've never even cared about venturing into something with someone beyond casual.  I never had time for it and never wanted it.  I've witnessed asshole after asshole hurt my two best friends and that's more than enough to turn me off to the whole idea of anything.....more....I don't know...exclusive?  Like...it seriously never crosses my mind....never HAS crossed my mind until...well until I felt just....off during these last few weeks for not contacting you."

"Youre absolutely adorable when you get flustered."

Lexa commented quietly repeating back the words she remembers the blonde telling her and slightly tweeking the comment to make it her own.

Clarke chuckled nervously. Her smile was radiant perfect teeth lightly clamping over her pink bottom lip as she looked down at her own lap to hide the deep blush rising to her cheeks.

Lexa took a deep breath watching Clarke's physical reaction to her comment. Her heart fluttered madly in her chest. She had never witnessed such a stunning phenomenon in her life.

Clarke's skin was glowing gorgeous even in the harsh flourescents from the bar's awning hanging over her head and the soft warmth from the blondes hands provided a safe feeling to balance out the danger that Lexa was slowing edging out of her body.

"Well....to answer your question, I DID NOT have the wrong intentions when I approached your friend Raven.  She is ridiculously attractive....actually, both of your best friends are...well...ridiculous..."  Lexa chuckled shaking her head a little.

"But the thought of taking Raven home with me tonight never crossed my mind.  And I don't normally do the whole dancing thing because I don't ever approach women.  I'm not a very smooth talker when it comes to flirting with women.  No matter how hard I try it always comes out annoying and corny or just down right raunchy."  Lexa admitted shrugging her shoulders and smiling softly.

Lexa's thick shiny hair lie in waves all swept over her right shoulder and Clarke noticed her left ear flush red and then the brunette was blushing again.

_Oh fuck...she is so..._

"....goddam beautiful...."  Clarke uttered distractetdly.

This time Lexa actually giggled.  She couldn't help herself.

"Did you mean to say that out loud Clarke?"  Lexa inquired biting her bottom lip and looking down at her feet.  Lexa was suddenely overhwlemed by a feeling of shy timidness that shocked both her and her admirer as she felt her face heat up and knew she was blushing even without confirming it in front of a mirror.

Clarke shook her head softly realizing that she had in fact uttered the words that she was thinking in her head out loud and it was totally involuntary. 

The sound of Lexa's laugh and the gold flecks in her flowing locks illuminated by the soft warm glow of the street lights had Clarke mesmerized and she blinked a few times in rapid succession at the sight.  Her eyelids were mimicking the shutter of a camera trying to capture the pluperfection seated in front of it.  But as the image could not be captured, Clarke's eyes attempted to reset themselves to confirm that Lexa was not an illusion.

Lexa's soft laugh tapered off and her eyes fell on Clarke's hand that still lay covering the back of her own.  She flattened the lighter underneath her palm and then slowly turned her wrist so the back of her hand now sat flat on the table top and palm to palm with Clarke's.

Both women grew silent in this moment letting the full feeling and the fluttering of their hearts resonate inside their bodies.

It felt right.  It felt real. And then Lexa remembered how she felt the last few weeks and stiffened.  Clarke sensed a change and immediately stood, grabbed the seat back of her chair and carried it around the table setting it down right next to Lexa's. 

The blonde sat fully facing the brunette making sure there was no space seperating their bodies.  Clarke had selected a tight black skirt that showed a generous amount of her gorgeous legs and smooth luxurious skin and a flowy, low cut, red silk top that did the same for her cleavage for the celebratory occasion that night.  Lexa immediately felt the warmth of the bare skin of Clarke's knees leaning into the outside of her left thigh once Clarke was settled into her seat.

A slow burning mix began to make its rotations in Lexa's stomach at this simple touch and the heavenly waft of the blonde's scent that descended on her when she sat.  Clarke reconnected their hands by fully pressing her palm flush against Lexa's and linking their fingers together.

Lexa licked a dry full bottom lip and swallowed.  She felt herself moving and was so distracted by the luminous nature of Clarke's skin and the crystalline quality of her breath taking eyes that before she knew it she had turned her body toward Clarke opening her legs and leaning forward.

Like a sunflower moving toward the sun.

Clarke reached up slowly, tentatively with her free hand running a thumb across the soft glowing skin of Lexa's cheekbone.  The high curve of the brunette's bone structure put Clarke's thumb right under her eye as if she were meticulously applying invisible war paint.

Lexa closed her eyes inhaling slowly and deeply as she leaned into Clarke's touch.

"I know it can't be easy to trust anyone Lexa.  Especially now that I've pretty much fucked up not once but twice..."  Clarke quietly began pleading her case.

Lexa opened her eyes searching Clarke's face as she spoke.  She detected strong confident eye contact and a steady voice.  

_No jumping of my lie detector needles...no strange untrustworthy twist in my gut....just warmth....ok_

As Clarke spoke she continued to trace the delicate features beneath her fingertips switching from her thumb to the back of her hand trailing it down the side of Lexa's face curving her finger tips around the prominent jawline that she was sure she had never cared to notice on any other woman before.  

"...so I have no expectations.  You can tell me to fuck off right now and I'll do it.  I'll do whatever needs to be done to earn your trust.  To make you feel the weight of the words that can't even begin to describe how sorry and regretful I am...for...for just...dissapearing...."  

Clarke seemed lost in her words and in the caress of her fingers as they made their way around and underneath Lexa's chin and almost as if her body and her brain had two seperate agendas, Clarke began to lean forward into Lexa's personal space and gently lead the brunette's face to her lips with the two fingers she had just placed under her chin.  

Clarke had no choice but to surrender to her bodys instinct.  

Lexa had no choice but to receive the offered gift.

The distance seperating them stretched languidly as they both entered a dreamlike state. 

The advance was slow and deliberate as was the retreat.  Their lips slowly parting centimeter by centimeter from each other's surface until they were two seperate entities once again.

"You do..."  Lexa began softly.  So very softly almost afraid to disrupt the moment.  

"You do realize that you've told me something similiar to this before....you said you'd never betray my trust Clarke.  I'm not sure what I'm feeling either...I just know that something...something happened between us that night and I'm not talking about the sex....and then...well..."  

Lexa felt Clarke's grip on her hand tighten and the blonde closed her eyes connecting their foreheads remembering that very night and the un named feeling that Lexa just mentioned.

_Indeed baby...it was SOMETHING_

"This is why I am putting the ball in your court Lexa.  I fucked up.  I'm not as brave as you are but...you make me feel...I don't know....like I actually CAN be brave I guess just by showing me how simple it can be."

Lexa leaned back at these words slightly and opened her eyes.

"What do you think is simple Clarke?"  She inquired beginning to caress Clarke's hand with her thumb subconsiously trying to ease her fear enough to get her to continue to open up.

"Being brave.  You make it look like its as simple as breathing."  Clarke anwered and then brought Lexa's hand up to her lips kissing one of her slightly bulbous knuckles sweetly.

Lexa's stomach flip flopped.

"You've already been brave on more than one occasion in just the past hour so its not like you're not capable of bravery, Clarke.  You just seem to wait until its thrust upon you in certain situations when you feel like you have to right a wrong."

Clarke's eyes furrowed in confusion.

"With Echo, Clarke.  She's pretty...intimidating, and you stood your ground.  You called her on her bullshit right away.  Besides, you literally hold peoples lives in your hands on a daily basis and you save their fucking lives Clarke.  That's not only the bravest act or occupation in my opinion, its down right heroic." 

Lexa's voice was so full of conviction and her eyes so full of admiration that Clarke could only meet them for a few seconds before looking away thinking about everything that Echo had told her about Lexa in a span of 15 minutes earlier that night.

_And that's just scratching the surface.  Is there anything that this wonderous creature can't do?  Oh glorious goddess of gayness am I way out of my depth, my league, my whatever?_

"This coming from someone that has saved countless lives herself."  Clarke replied smirking softly and shaking her head a little.

"That's way different.  I do what I do but I can't fix someone once they get hurt.  I can only try to prevent it.  I can't snatch life back from death's jaws."  Lexa reasoned.

Clarke looked up and rolled her eyes.  Lexa chuckled and bit her lip again.

"When recruits enter Marine Corps basic training, they are pounded down to soft clay and built back up again.  As we progress through each evolution, that same purpose is pounded into us.  We are meant to protect, defend our nation and its allies, save those who can not fight for themselves and above all, destroy those who would dare try to take all that we hold dear.  So when you join you are given a job but the Marine Corps is the only branch that does not have one occupation that all the rest do.  Can you guess what that occupational field is?"  Lexa asked. 

Clarke smiled and shook her head.

"Yours..."  Lexa emphasized leaning forward and rubbing her nose against Clarke's.  The blonde blushed and broke out in a goofy smile slitting a small piece of her tantalizing pink tongue through her teeth as she did so.

"You mean, the Marines don't train anyone for the medical field?  I'm confused.  How is that possible?  I mean you are deployed and need medical assistance almost constantly right?" 

Lexa nodded her head as Clarke spoke in response and continued nodding her head before she began explaining further.

"We take a Navy corpsman with every Marine detachment while on deployment and he is responsible for patching us up on the battle field so that we can continue to destroy.  We are not programmed to nurse or mend or heal.  We actually aim to undo all that when serving in a forward area.  So if you were in the military doing what you do now, Echo and I would be your worst nightmare."  Lexa said laughing and puffing her chest out with pride.

Clarke laughed along with her and shook her head.

_Lexa the destroyer...I don't see it.  The way she touched me, held me....even when she was fucking me so hard I saw stars.... she was still so fucking careful, passionate.  Fuck, even graceful._

"I kind of think you're bullshitting me Lexa.  How can every other branch have some kind of medical field and the Marine Corps is the ONLY branch that doesn't?  Its unheard of!"  Clarke reasoned still shocked at the information.

"Its true gorgeous.  Look it up.  Educate yourself." 

The brunette teased smiling and slowly inching closer to Clarke's face.  The brunette slowly untangled her fingers from Clarke's hands and reached for her slender waist firmly pulling the blonde's body toward her.  

Clarke gasped softly and bit her lip.  Her heart fluttered in her chest and the pool that had already begun to slowly appear in her underwear earlier as she watched the brunette on the dance floor, immediately grew in size.  Something about a stunning woman taking control of her body....

_Fuck she's so delicious_

Clarke had just managed to link her hands underneath Lexa's hair and around the back of her neck when they came together.

Their lips met slowly.  Hesitantly.  One small peck.  Another.  And then Lexa felt the blonde smiling against her lips before softly sucking her bottom lip into her warm mouth. 

Lexa took a sharp inhale of breath and then relaxed into the kiss.  Their mouths and bodies softly yielded against one another as if their entire physical forms had liquefied and began to slowly blend into an intoxicatingly rich golden caramel concoction.  They chastely tasted each other's willing wet mouths and then slowly stopped tapering off with a few pecks.  They rested forehead to forehead.  They're eyes closed and hearts beating fast.

"I feel like all I do is fuck shit up with you Lexa.  I mean, is this how its gonna be between us?  A constant conflict and then...I don't know...making up?"  The blonde spoke effectively ending their dreamy state.  The blonde gritted huffing with frustration.

Lexa watched in rapt amazement at the different expression overtaking such a stunning face and she couldn't help smiling softly at the endearing sight.

"I sincerely hope not Dr. Griffin...well....unless you can promise me that the making up will always feel this good."  Lexa answered wryly.  Clarke chuckled rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry for being an asshole the past few weeks."  Clarke offered sincerely.  

Lexa considered the blonde's apology quietly mulling it over.  As she did this she absentmindedly pressed her full lips together tightly into a firm line and then slowly sucked both lips into her mouth until they both completely disappeared.

Clarke watched this new development with a burning hunger that caused her knees to knock together and the hot throbbing mess between her legs get messier.

Lexa's eye brows furrowed slightly as she seemed to get lost in thought.  The brunette moved her mouth slightly this way and that lubricating her lips with her tongue inside the confines of her sinfully gorgeous mouth until she was satisfied and then she slowly let them slip back out centimeter by centimeter, rosy red and slightly damp with her saliva until they sat lightly stacked against each other once more in a irresistable natural pout.

Clarke gulped and her dry throat audibly clicked.

 "You know..."  Clarke paused taking a shaky breath.

"....doing that with your lips in front of me..."  the blonde paused again shaking her head slightly and taking another shaky breath.

"...I see that and I can't help wishing I could just like...I don't know....like.....lick them both and then suck them into my mouth...."  Clarke confessed never breaking eye contact with Lexa's eyes and lips.

"Is that like a habitual thing for you?  Saying things that you're thinking but never mean to say out loud?"  Lexa quietly inquired looking into the blonde's captivating dark blue eyes.

"No...I meant to say that one..."  Clarke admitted biting her lip seductively.

"Fuck Clarke..." Lexa groaned dropping her head back looking up to the dark Texas sky in an attempt to clear her senses of the sudden arousal overpowering her.

Clarke huffed and leaned her head on Lexa's shoulder trying to achieve the same.  "The way you fucking moved on that dance floor didn't help my situation downstairs either."

"Clarke..."  Lexa moaned the blonde's name digging her fingertips into Clarke's waist which only made things worse as sit caused the blonde to moan right into Lexa's ear.

"How did we go from arguing to wanting to rip each others clothes off?"  Lexa queried dropping her head back down, closing her eyes and burying her nose in Clarke's luxurious blonde locks.

Clarke felt her heart stutter in her chest.

"I don't know....maybe...passion?  That's usually a good thing Lexa and I certainly don't have a problem with it if you want to rip my clothes off.  I want to rip yours off too."  Clarke admitted still buried in Lexa's shoulder.

"Maybe...I don't know....maybe that's part of the problem?"  Lexa concluded.

"What exactly do you mean by that?"  Clarke asked sitting up fully to face Lexa.

"What I mean is I don't know where this is going or what it means but I DO know that sex is SO not the solution for figuring it out.  It always seems to complicate an already potentially complicated situation." 

A regretful look crossed Clarke's features and Lexa scrambled to further explain herself.

"Even more so when the sex is as intense and fucking amazing as it was with you.  I don't regret a single moment just to be clear."  Lexa added kissing Clarke's forehead reverently.

Clarke sighed both at the warm excited feeling of Lexa's lips on her and at the unfortunate truth of her statement.

"As disappointing as that sounds, I have to agree with you."  Clarke admitted pouting adorably causing Lexa to chuckle and visibly shiver at the feeling of delicate butterfly wings lightly fluttering against the inner lining of her stomach.

"I felt...I FEEL connected to you in some way.  Almost as if you're a familiar part of my life even though the feeling I get when I touch you is ANYTHING but familiar."  Clarke admitted quietly, introspectively dazed and then suddenly terrified. 

Lexa watched as the thoughtful, far off daze cleared and the electric panic materialized in those crystal clear blues.

Clarke needed to know she was safe.  She needed to know that Lexa wouldn't run after hearing her small but truthful confession.

Her frantic eyes pleaded for a life line.  For Lexa to reciprocate.

Lexa took Clarke in her arms then, draping her strong arms over Clarke's shoulders and pulling her into her chest.  She kissed sweet smelling blonde hair and when Clarke returned the embrace encircling her waist she felt the oceanic tide shift back into place around her heart and relieve the deep ache she had developed over the last few weeks.

"Shhh its ok.  Its gonna be ok Clarke.  Don't worry."  Lexa soothed.

Clarke heard the words rumble in the brunettes chest with the ear she had pressed just over Lexa's heart and in that moment surrounded by her strong arms and the steady beating of their hearts in tandem, she believed the words.  She believed in her.

Clarke rubbed her nose into Lexa's neck losing herself in the intoxicating smell she remembered well from their night together.

"Maybe my news won't be totally unwelcome now that I know how you feel.  Well...unless what you told me isn't true."  Lexa reasoned.

She felt the blonde huff into her neck.  Her warm breath slightly tickling the delicate skin there.  

"I don't joke about things like that Lexa.  I feel like maybe I should've kept that to myself actually...I revealed too much maybe."  

Clarke admitted into Lexa's neck too skittish to emerge and face Lexa's peircing gray/green eyes.  The blonde pressed a feather light kiss to Lexa's neck not able to help herself and felt the brunette's body quake beneath her, between her, all around her.

"Don't be afraid of me Clarke.  There's no need for that."  Lexa encouraged encasing the blondes body gently.  She felt her own heart beating heavy in her chest and wished with all her aching heart that Clarke would be able to feel the sincerity in her touch and the intensity in her embrace.  Even as paralyzing fear clawed at her own body as she openly offered up her heart, Lexa remained holding the woman that had stormed into her life so suddenly waking her from a deep freeze that she hadn't been able to free herself from.

"Don't be afraid of me either Lexa...."  Clarke whispered as if Lexa's brain was running a digital teleprompter in real time bright and vibrant for all to see.

An idea entered Clarke's mind and she smiled into Lexa's shoulder mischeviously. She suddenly changed her grip moving her arms to a higher position on Lexa's torso from slender waist to the area right underneath her armpits.

Clarkes head was nestled underneath Lexas chin, her arms around her rib cage and their breasts flush against each other.  Clarke could feel the hard peaked points of the brunettes gorgeous perky firm breasts pressing lightly into the soft flesh of her own larger pair and the erotic feeling sent her body into a mix of burning arousal and passionate aching.

Clarke fought of the emotions that rendered her defenseless and tried to clear the erotic fog in her brain to remember what she had planned on doing with her new position in the first place. Recalling her intentions, she slowly increased the pressure of her embrace constricting around Lexa's body adding more and more force until the hold was so tight the brunette could barely breathe. 

Lexa felt the breath leave her lungs and then the burning pain pierced through her ribs.  She grit her teeth and grunted quietly before she attempted to pull Clarke's arms off.

The blondes grip was way too tight and way too high on the brunette's body for Lexa to use her superior strength to get out of the hold.

"Ugg...Clarke..."  Lexa squeaked.  "Can't...breathe...ribs...."

Clarke looked up into Lexa's pained expression without loosening her grip.

"Huh?  What was that?  Are you trying to tell me something Lexa?"  Clarke feigned ignorance.

"Ribs...cracked....cr....cracked Clarke...."  she hissed out in a whisper.  Clarke immediately let go after hearing the word cracked.

Lexa immediately drew in a deep breath and then hissed and winced holding her ride side over her ribs.

"Lexa...I'm so sorry...I was messing around...I didn't know...."

Lexa waved her off and took a few more deep breaths before speaking.

"Its an old injury.  Not you're fault.  I broke like 2 or 3 ribs on this side and they never healed quite right."

Clarke turned from concerned to skeptical.  She reached over and tilted Lexa's chin up to look at her.

"The truth Lexa Woods.  Did they not heal correctly or did you just NOT consult with a physician about the injury?"  The blonde pointedly asked crossing her arms in a classic pose that physician's had perfected over centuries.  Lexa had dealt with her fair share of strict and head strong doctors in her line of work but Clarke was by far the most attractive and formidable M.D. that she had come across to date.

Lexa smirked still rubbing delicately at the sensitive spot on her side.

"You know, if you weren't so damn hot when you go into 'pissed off doctor mode' I'd tell you to mind your business.  BESIDES you played dirty and applied your anaconda squeeze when I was at my most vulnerable.  Not cool Clarke."

Clarke huffed and rolled her eyes.  "Well...I'm still waiting for an answer Ms. Woods."  She declared haughtily.

Lexa blasted a short bark of laughter and immediately regretted it groaning at the amplified pain it caused in her side.

"No."  She gritted through a wince and hiss.

"I didn't see a doctor because there is no magical cast you can put on my ribs or a Harry Potter bone mending concoction for me to drink....AND..." 

The brunette raised her voice before the blonde doctor could comment further.

"I was NOT going to be bed ridden for a week or more just to come out with this side of my body still sensitive.  Trust me I've broken a few of my ribs before and have never fully recovered." 

Lexa matter of factly stated nodding her head as if to say 'And that's that.'

Clarke pursed her lips and shook her head dissaprovingly but she couldn't keep from smirking.  "I hope I never have to have you as a patient.  You're the worst!  And you would've healed just fine following a doctor's orders by the way."  Clarke informed the brunette.

Lexa shrugged her shoulders.

"And Harry Potter?  Really?  I think you might be the hottest geek I have ever met."  The two women smiled at each other. 

"I don't know if that's a compliment but I'll take it as one because Harry Potter is the most important book series of our generation.  Don't down play it Clarke."  The blonde rolled her eyes still smiling.  It seemed that when she was in Lexa's company, a smile was a permanent fixture. 

"And the Skele-Gro is a bone GROWING potion, not a bone mending one."  Clarke corrected with a knowing grin.  Lexa's eye's widened in shock and realization.

"I think I'm ok with being the 2nd hottest geek."  Lexa stated cockily.  Clarke's laughter rung out over the buzz of the smokers and Lexa joined her soon after.

"What news were you talking about anyway?"  Clarke asked rubbing her hands together vigorously and then reaching over to gently lay a hand over the area that Lexa was still rubbing.  Lexa moved to allow the gorgeous professional to take over.

Clarke applied slight pressure over the area and remained still.  "Sometimes a little heat helps with the pain....or you know....morphine would work too but unfortunately I can't authorize that."  

Clarke joked quietly looking up into gleaming gray eyes and smirking before looking down at what she was doing again.

"We can't see each other."  Lexa suddenly blurted out.  

Clarke squinted her eyes in confusion and looked up into Lexa's eyes once more.

"What?  Why?"  She asked cleary dissapointed.

"As long as the trial for the Camacho kid is going on, our fraternalization could and probably would be considered a conflict of interest."  Lexa explained looking equally as dissapointed.

"But this could be a good thing for us.  We obviously have chemistry when it comes to the physical....sexual...part of this, maybe if we eliminate that we can focus on really getting to know each other without distractions at least until the trial is over."  Lexa reasoned.

Clarke looked back down to Lexa's ribs and sighed.

"Are you saying that I can't see you for probably....what a month?  Two?  Sometimes those things go on for 2 or more months Lexa!" Clarke complained sending a giddy feeling to run up Lexa's spine.

_She really wants to see me.  She wants to be around me.  Wow_

"I know Clarke...I know but I figure we can still text and maybe an occasional phone call if you get a chance. I want to get to know you. Unfortunately this is our only option right now."

Clarke began nodding her head in assent and then leaned forward running her hands under Lexa's gorgeous mane and linking them around the back of her neck. Lexa inched her body forward and pulled Clarke into the warmth of her body by slipping her arms around the blondes waist.

"Ok. I promise I will be in touch. If that's the only option I have then I'll take it. Whatever I have to do. And you're probably right. Its better this way. We can take our time and figure this out together since we both seem to be a little lost on what exactly this feeling between us is."

Clarke replied determined but still dissapointed.

"I'm gonna hold you to that promise Clarke.  But I'm warning you right now, if you ghost me again..."

"That's not gonna happen Lexa.  It WON'T happen."  The blonde emphasized pulling back to lock her determined and sincere gaze onto Lexa's paranoid grays.  The brunette nodded her head and then they embraced once more holding each other in silence.

"You know, I was really looking forward to getting more time with Pepper Potts and hopefully meeting Piper.  Maybe getting her approval?"  Clarke mumbled quietly into Lexa's neck causing the brunette to laugh.

"How are they by the way?"  Clarke inquired.

"Oh you know, P Potts is still a little freaked out when she jumps on the bed.  She's not used to seeing anyone else in that bed but me so everytime she jumps up there she looks around for you."  Lexa laughs at this hard enough to shake both of their bodies.

"She's a little skittish but really the sweetest cat you will ever encounter."  Lexa bragged.  Clarke smiled.

"How is she not used to seeing anyone else in that bed if, according to you, you have an endless parade of strange women going in and out of their regularly?"  Clarke quipped sarcastically not being able to resist the opportunity to ask the question that has been eating at her since she first met Pepper Potts.

"Nice interrogation technique Clarke.  You'd make a good investigator."  Lexa sassed pulling away to look at the blonde before she explained.

"When I said that I was speaking about how I have always operated...in the past."  She emphasized looking directly into Clarke's eyes to make sure the blonde was understanding everything she was explaining.

"I don't want to get into my reasoning right now but as long as I've had the house, for about 3 years, I haven't had another woman over."  Lexa admitted completely blanching on the one night stand she had with the woman at the bar.  The experience was so unimportant to her that in the moment it had been wiped clear from her memory.

Clarke's dark blonde eyebrows raised in shock.

_Three fucking years......holy shit...._

"And even so, I don't just invite anyone over to stay in my bed.  I have...or HAD a strict no strings attached, no repeats, no contact policy and as I said before, I never deviated from that." 

The two women were facing each other now and Lexa looked away and down at their laps sensing what question might come next.

And it did.

"So...why...why deviate now?"  Clarke asked tentitavely suddenly feeling as skittish as Lexa's cat in that moment.

Lexa shrugged her shoulders still looking down.

"Like I said before...SOMETHING happened that night.  I kind of want to find out what it was."

Clarke felt light headed listening to Lexa's soft timid voice.  She reached up and took the brunette's gorgeous face in her hands.

"Hey, I want to find out too."

                                                             ***

“You know what I’m gonna say, don’t you Lex….” Echo asked as she opened a small square ketchup packet for her French fries.

 Lexa sat across from her fixing the sliced pickles in her veggie burger so that she had a good ratio with every bite.

 The green eyed brunette sighed loudly but didn’t answer.

 “Well since you’re acting brand new....this isn’t good boss. I know you think she’s worth it and you think texting and phone calls is ok but what if its not? What if she turns out just like all the rest? What if everything is going great and then you have a weird but also hot AS FUCK sex dream about her two best friends and then it gets weird??”

Lexa doubled over laughing so hard that she nearly knocked her glass of sweet tea right off her solid oak table top.

Echo’s laugh was loud and contagious as she slapped her knee and tried to breathe.

“I’m just sayin…I mean FUCK ME SIDEWAYS….the princess is like sex on a stick and those tits...like they fucking scoff at gravity and they're just so...."

Lexa sat up clenching her jaw and sending a murderous look over at her friend.  All the humor drained out of her eyes and body.

Anyone else would've continued ranting mindlessly but Echo knew right away that she would most definitely be going back to California with a few less teeth and possibly a broken nose on the side if she didn't quit talking about her friend's love interest.

_And this may be worse than I thought.  Love interest might be a little more accurate than I first thought.  Emphasis on the word LOVE.  Jesus Christ Alexandra I just don't want you fucked with again._

Echo raised her hands in surrender.

"My apologies....I should've stopped while I was ahead but seriously Lexa....her fucking friends….Lex…I mean I’m not even sure how you can concentrate on just one when they’re all there together and looking….I mean Lex….”

Lexa had fixed her friend with a glower that could melt paint off the walls but her friend didn’t seem deterred this time. In fact, Echo seemed to be getting more enthusiastic by the second thinking of Octavia and more specifically Raven.

“Don’t Echo….just stop. You sound like a brainless pig.”

“Lexa….I mean if any woman could pull that off between those three it would be you….Lex….take one for the team!  You’re never gonna have the opportunity with women as fucking perfect as those three again in your life. And according to Raven they’ve known each other so long they practically know everything about each other including seeing one another naked. Lexa….”

“Echo enough….I’m serious…its…don’t talk about them that way! Raven is the youngest engineer that NASA has ever hired. Octavia is a legal aid that already has a job waiting for her at the best law firm in the city as soon as she passes the BAR and Clarke is probably a more gifted surgeon than even her mother. They are all shining examples of strong, intelligent and gorgeous women and all you can think about is how hot it would be to get them all in bed together at the same time.”

Echo reguarded her big hearted friend with a fondness in her eyes that made Lexa immediately blush.

 “Wow….all of that just made them fucking hotter Lex….no but seriously….you’re way too sweet Heda. Its kind of disgusting actually.” Echo dead panned collapsing into a heap of loud guffaws once more.

Lexa smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Hey but real talk though...you my friend have been through way too much shit and are way too good a person...no scratch that...you are the BEST person Lexa so you deserve the equivalent of that and to achieve that a woman has to be damn near perfect."

"In your opinion or mine?"  Lexa inquired quirking a sarcastic eyebrow.  Before Echo could respond Lexa lifted a hand and shook her head. 

“I know you have my best interest at heart Ecks but I have to figure this out on my own. Maybe its nothing. Maybe I find out after a month that she’s just another attractive woman that was great in bed and nothing more. Maybe not. Either way, I have to find out for better or worse.  I know what I'm doing."  Lexa stated firmly hoping it would end the discussion.

Echo looked about ready to argue but then she bit into her own burger and couldn’t help moaning so loud that Lexa looked over at her in shock and amusement. Her eyes slightly enlarged and a small smirk curving her full lips.

“Good beef?” Lexa inquired knowingly.

“Holy…mmm…mmmgod..” Echo mumbled through a mouth full of beef, cheese, mustard, Texas toast, pickle, lettuce, tomato, onion and jalapenos.

“I told you Whataburger is on point Ecks. Carl’s Jr and jack in the crack serve garbage and both of those establishments are unworthy of your patronage. You should come back for a visit during the holidays. Whataburger adds a chorizo burger and tacos to the menu for a couple of months.” Lexa’s chest puffed up with pride and she smiled pleased that her friend was enjoying her burger.

“How the fuck would you know about what burger joint is good anywhere? You don’t even eat meat Lexa. Pork included.” Echo griped annoyed that Lexa was able to successfully change the subject with her burger joint recommendation.

Echo filled her mouth with another couple of bites of her burger as she waited for Lexa to answer her.

“I don’t need to eat their beef burgers to know they’re good. Everything at Whataburger is good. It was founded in south Texas in the 50s and has never bowed to corporate assholes that want to turn it in to another fucking McDonalds. Its so not good for you but that doesn’t mean its not the best fucking burger joint in the southern states. Of course that’s just my opinion but plenty of other visitors have agreed. Including you.”

"You're b..mmm...biased."  Echo grumbled through a full mouth once more.

Lexa grimaced and wrinkled her nose in disgust at her friend's full mouth

"Yes I am biased but doesn't mean its not true.  My dad used to tell me that back in the day the burgers they made there were all grilled on a huge open grill right in front of you and they'd put the onions that went in the burger to grill right next to your meat.  He said it gave it a taste that no other burger joint could replicate.  Turns out they never really scrubbed that grill down though and with time they had to meet health regs so you know how that goes."

"MmHmmm."  Was Echo's only reply.

Lexa chuckled shaking her head. "Make sure when you try the ketchup for the first time that you dont have a bite of burger mixing with it. You have to eat it by itself on a fry. Show it some respect for Christ sake." Lexa exclaimed dramatically. 

Echo laughed trying to keep all the food in her mouth and failing. A few bits of chewed burger flew out of her mouth making them both laugh even harder.

Just then Lexa's phone buzzed on the table top and she reached for it laughing at another bite and moan from her friend.

**Sky Princess:  So?  How is she liking it?  2 thumbs up?**

**Heda:  2 very enthusiastic thumbs up.  She keeps moaning**

**Heda:  Sounds mre like shes fucking the dam thing**

**Heda:  Not eating it**

**Sky Princess:  HAAAAHAHAHAHAH!**

**Sky Princess:  Well sometimes its considered the same no?**

**Heda:  Funny girl**

**Sky Princess:  TY TY I try I rly do.  When is ur bff flying out?**

**Heda:  Trying 2get rid of her so soon?**

**Sky Princess:  Well she DOES fuckn hate me soooo**

**Sky Princess:  But no**

**Sky Princess:  Just curious**

**Heda:  In 2 days**

**Heda:  And she doesnt hate u**

**Heda:  She hates the possibility that u will fuck me over**

**Heda:  again**

**Sky Princess:  I deserve that.  If she hates me I deserve it.  I deserve what ever I'm feeling now 2**

 

Lexa frowned down at her phone feeling bad for calling Clarke out once more even though her statement was true.

 

**Heda:  Part of forgiveness is leaving the shit in the past & I agreed 2give this a chance.  That comes with letting go**

**Heda:  No matter how difficult**

**Heda:  SO...I'm sorry for bringing that up again.  I could've explained it without adding that comment**

**Heda:  Clean start?**

**Sky Princess:  Clean start**

 

"Could you at least PRETEND to share a meal with your best friend and ONLY your best friend?  I'll only be here for another 48 hours.  Tell the blonde goddess that she can have you all to herself once I'm gone."  Echo complained rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

Lexa chuckled a little still looking down at her phone.

 

**Heda:  I'm being summoned by a very grumpy version of my bff.  I'll text you when we're done eating**

**Sky Princess:  I remember vividly what that looks like**

**Heda:  You didn't c her grumpy side.  u saw her 'I'm gna kick ur ass if u hurt my bff' side and trust me, she's mild right now compared2 how she acted the other night**

**Sky Princess:  I bet.  Have fun feasting on veggie patties while ur friend gets2 eat the real deal**

**Sky Princess:  Delicious and greasy and bad 4ur health**

**Heda:  Whatevr...txt u in a while beautiful**

 

Clarke's cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink as she gushed at the descriptive word turned pet name.

 

                                                                                      ***

 

"Welcome back Sgt.  I trust your two week vacation served you well?"  

Lexa has spent the last 20 minutes studying the lawyer sitting across from her in the conference room at the court house.

She never trusted any lawyer completely but knew that in this case she had to fully cooperate and that meant keeping an open mind so she doesn't immediately come off as hostile.  Every moment she wore her uniform was a moment she was representing the city of Houston and its police department.

He was young.  His confidence was something he leaned heavily on almost enough for his ego to fully form on its own.  As if his confidence was the super hero and he himself was its side kick.  His thin rimmed glasses were standard and delicate lightly sitting on the surface of his small, delicate, mousey facial features.  His suit impeccably put together without a speck of dust or wrinkle in sight.  Lexa wouldn't be surprised in the least if she found out the man was a robot underneath that suit.

The brunette cleared her throat and nodded her head smiling softly.

"It was good counselor.  Just what I needed."

"Oh you can call me Brady.  This is more of a formality.  The prosecutor Thelonias Jaha wanted us to meet just to make sure you're prepared for his line of questioning and of course he wants me to test the waters to assess whether you can handle the type of aggression that will probably be coming at you from the defense.  I know Charles Pike very well and he is one of the best in the game."

"Look counselor..."

"Brady"  The young confident attorney interrupts.  Lexa ignores the correction and continues.  The bespectacled man sitting across from her smirks clearly amused at the beautiful Sgts sand.

"I have never had to testify against a fellow officer especially one I clearly detest but if you're concern lies with whether I can handle some excessive verbal abuse then you need not worry yourself.  I am a professional.  I care about the Camacho kid.  I care deeply for my community but I will be under oath and even if I wasn't, I really don't like the idea of telling lies.  My opinion, emotions, bais or anything in between are irrelevant.  This is my career and I take it very seriously."

"Lexa, your passion is compelling and down right admirable.  There is no shortage of fellow colleagues, superiors, community leaders, members of the school districts and even members of the homeless community that will vouch for your exemplary performance on and even off the job.  You clearly care about and are passionate about what your unifrom represents and helping those in need.  Enforcing the law is not the problem here.  This case is not about another cop shooting another un armed young man."

"Another young man, who happens to live in a very poor neighborhood and another young man that happens to be a part of one of Houston's minority groups."  Lexa raised her voice overpowering Brady's monologue.  

Brady's brown inquisitive eyes turned introspective for a moment before he spoke again.  "I swear I've never heard a cop talk like you."  He said with quiet wonder.

"I'm not just a uniform as I'm sure you're not just another suit.  I have a heart that beats under this."  Lexa said beginning to get a little worked up.  She motioned to her chest with one hand.

"I have scars underneath this uniform that came from things you don't ever want to see or know about or can even imagine.  I didn't take an oath to tote a gun, flash a badge and throw my authority around.  I swore to protect my community and some asshole comes in to try to destroy that with his empty head and sackless existence!"  She shouted gritting her teeth.

"Sgt Woods, my observation was not meant to offend you.  I meant it as a compliment.  I see why they have you training so many new hires.  I don't want you or everything you worked for getting hung out to dry.  This case has turned into a 'Let's see who makes the first mistake and capatilize' type of case and if you've been in for this long you understand what that means.  Pike will rip you open and get the entire court and jury and court members convinced that good honest and decent cops like you are the reason his client is where he is right now.  He will wave a tapestry of shit so believable that by the time you get off that stand even YOU will be convinced that you're the worst cop that has ever walked a beat.  He will use your integrity and passion and honesty and bravery against you.  He will make it seem like politics as usual.  You cops ganging up on the new guy.  DON'T let him get into your head.  DON'T let him play on your weaknesses.  Don't let him tap into your fears."

At this last comment Lexa laughed.  A good and true laugh.

Brady was puzzled for a while squinting his beaty eyes at the brunette.

Before Lexa speaks her face drains of its bright smile until her expression is dark, odious and cold.

"I served in Iraq and Afganistan before becoming a police officer.  My idea of staving off death was running around naked and drunk with my best friend while bombs rained down near our compound.  Why?  Because it was either do that or hide out in a building or bunker or whatever flimsy fucking structure the fucking Captain thought was worthy and wait to die.  There is not one single thing left on earth that can scare me now counselor."  Brady felt backed into a corner and actually threatened when the steely grit of the sgts voice floated low and menacing out into the air across the desk to him.  He remained silent.

"Now..."  Lexa relaxed her posture and sat back softening her voice.  She had read the scared look in the young man's eyes and actually felt a little guilty for shooting off at the mouth.

"If you're concerned about my sexuality or the fact that I'm an orphan or a killer then you might have a problem but if fear is your main issue well you can sleep soundly Brady."

"I...I didn't mean it that way Sgt.  I...just...I've seen so many people fall apart after Pike gets just two minutes into his line of questioning."  Brady grit his teeth in clear irritation.

This made Lexa laugh even harder.  She stood and slapped a hand down on the table top so hard that Brady jumped in his seat startled.

"This is my life...my career!  I have worked through a broken engagement, death of loved ones and with pieces of fucking lead in my body.  I have fulfilled my duty at every turn without hesitation and this is no different!  I am more than capable of seperating my duties from my emotions!"

"And if you fail...do you know how to handle failure Lexa?"  Brady asked quietly...timidly.  He was clearly afraid that he would set the sgt off once again but he couldn't hold that question back.  He had to know.

"I already have blood on my hands counselor.  I have failed plenty.  But the dead are gone and the living are hungry so I must go on.  If it were up to me, Murphy would've never been issued that 40 cal.  You don't hand a loaded needle to a recovering drug addict and hope for the best.  He will inevitably discharge that needle.  It was never a doubt in my mind.  It was only a matter of time.  Good day to you sir.  Good luck with this trial.  You're gonna need it."

                                                                                  ***

**Sky Princess:  Am I stupid4 missing you?**

**Heda:  Not stupid. u could never be stupid**

**SKy Princess:  Stop it u ass.  I'm being serious**

**Heda:  So am I**

**Heda:  Dead**

**SKy Princess:  Ugh just 4get it**

**Heda:  already did**

**Sky Princess:  U are so so charming thru text.  Has anyone** **evr told u that?**

**Heda:  Yes**

**Heda:  Repeatedly**

**Heda:  Hey, so you said you'd choose super girl over Wonder woman right?**

**Sky Princess:  Nice segue.**

**Sky Princess:  Yes**

**Heda:  Very Interesting**

**Sky Princess:  Do I sense a question in the near future or...**

**Heda:  Just wondering if you prefer super GIRL over wonder WOMAN because you prefer just that**

**Heda:  Girls over women**

**Heda:  We might have a slight problem**

**Heda:  I'm all woman.  100% real.**

**Heda:  U might be barking up the wrong tree. I havent been a girl4 a long time**

**Sky Princess:  usually u would be right**

**Sky Princess:  Except ur not**

**Sky Princess:  No one ever said I was in2 u**

**Heda:  OOoooo burn**

**Heda:  I walked right in2 that one**

**Heda:  u got me.  Ur right.**

**Heda:  I laughed so loud over here Ontari is giving me the weird look**

**Sky Princess:  Ontari huh?  How are you texting if you're working out?**

**Heda:  Not working out.  Getting geared up for my shift.  We share a locker room**

**Heda:  u know, us real women in uniform**

**Sky Princess:  LOL**

**Sky Princess:  Ok then I'll leave u2 it.  Dont want2 take up ur quality woman2 woman time w/Ontari in the locker room**

**Heda:  Still think O and I are boning huh?**

**Sky Princess:  Ew if u r I dnt want2 know**

**Heda:  Why not?  Dnt tell me u dnt find lady loving hot**

**SKy Princess:  No I find it very hot**

**Sky Princess:  Just prefer not knowing about ur sexual escapades w/other women**

**Heda:  Oops**

**Heda:  Didn't know that was an issue**

**Heda:  Wait...does this mean ur not getting any on a regular?**

**Heda:  That's not healthy Clarke.  Ur a doc.  U need regular sexual healing2 focus & be the bad ass we all know u r**

**Heda:  I know u have plenty of willing applicants.**

**Sky Princess:  Well I dnt just sleep around**

**Sky Princess:  No judgement**

**Sky Princess:  I just got a taste of something good & now I only want that**

**Sky Princess:  2bad the "good"  doesn't want me back**

**Heda:  Well, this "good" u speak of is a fucking ignorant ass wipe**

**Heda:  They dnt deserve u**

**Heda: &more than likely r afraid& a lil intimidated as well**

**Sky Princess:  Intimidated?  Really?**

**Heda:  Have u seen urself?**

**Heda:  Either way, if they're not woman enuf 2step up I could step in**

**SKy Princess:  1st, who said it was a woman**

**Sky Princess:  2nd, who said I wanted u 2step in**

**Sky Princess:  3rd, who said u could satisfy me &take care of me like they did?**

**Heda:  Wow**

**Heda:  Shot down LOL**

**Heda:  That hurts beautiful**

**Heda:  Gotta go 4now**

**Heda:  Just so u kno, I miss u 2.**

**Heda:  So much**

**Heda:  And I don't care if it makes me stupid**

**Heda: &also...**

**Heda:  I got a taste of something2**

**Heda:  Something amazing & no woman or girl has had my attention since**

"Oh...fuck..."  Clarke whispered quietly closing her eyes and smiling to herself.  Her attempts at keeping her physical reaction to the last text message private failed miserably especially around her best friends.

"Clarkey...are we watching this movie or are we sexting sexy Lexy?"  Raven asked pausing the dvd and laughing.

"Clarke, if that's what you've been doing this whole time we might as well just discuss in detail what is REALLY going on between the two of you."  Octavia reasoned getting up to turn on the light in their shared living space.

"She has me on a fucking roller coaster.  I mean, she's such a fucking smart ass and funny too...and then she says some fucking bs that she knows is gonna piss me off even if I don't show it.  And just when I think she's such a fucking asshole and I'd like nothing more than to slap her fucking perfect face...she...ugh...she literally melts my fucking heart."

"It seems like she succeeds in melting way  more than your heart.  And routinely too."  Raven guffaws.

Octavia laughs along with her and Clarke flicks them both off.

"Fuck you very much.  I'm serious.  She's driving me crazy with these rules.  Its been almost 3 weeks and I wish I could just see her.  Like I swear I feel like I could just spend a whole day with her in silence and without sex and I'd be content.  God I sound so fucking lame."  Clarke laments gritting her teeth in frustration.

“Wait, wait what did we miss? Why can’t you two hang out?”  Octavia asked.

“Other than the fact that they are both total horn dogs and would spend the entire time fucking instead of actually getting to know each other?” Raven quipped quick as a whip.

“She is being subpenoed for the Camacho kid’s trial and her boss told her she needs to lay low you asshole.” Clarke said glowering at her friend and then pausing in thought.

The blonde rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Well....its ALSO because we can't keep our fucking hands off each other.” Clarke admitted begrudgingly causing her friends to laugh heartily.

“Like we said before Griff, we don’t blame you. Besides you two looked so fucking sweet when Echo and I peeked in on you that one night at the bar.”

The blonde turned to look at Raven with wide eyes.

"You spied on us??"  She asked her best friend clearly disapproving of her actions.

"Oh come on Clarkey, we couldn't resist.  We both want you two to be happy and you look so fucking perfect together.  It just makes sense."

Clarke rolled her eyes but smiled softly at her friends words.  "Don't ever do that again Raven."  The blonde stated attempting to sound threatening but not succeeding.  Raven said nothing but blinded her blonde friend with her smile.

“It seems like her boss is a little high strung. Whoever it is, they must be under a lot of pressure if they are asking her to keep her distance from you.”  Octavia commented directing the subject back to the court case.

“What do you mean exactly? Because when she told me we couldn’t hang out for the duration of the trial proceedings I just accepted it and didn’t question it at all.  It seemed like that’s what she did also.” Clarke reasoned.

“What I mean is that a conflict of interest between Camacho’s doctor and a cop that is completely unrelated to the case is a stretch. A pretty far stretch even for a trial lawyer as good as Pike.”  Octavia stated very confident about her opinion on this particular subject.

“But she IS related directly to the case somehow. She didn’t tell me how exactly but she did say she met with the kid’s attorney already and she will be on the witness list so she will be doing some trial prep before the arraignment.  I don’t know much about trial procedures but I’m pretty sure that means that her testimony is pretty significant.”  The blonde informed sitting forward on the edge of the couch facing her best friend.

Octavia’s eyes lit up with excitement.

"We have to attend the proceedings!  Rae you too!"  Octavia squealed excitedly.

"Eh, not interested in napping in a court room.  Only you find that shit so riveting O."  Raven scrunched up her nose displaying her disgust of boredom.

"Whatever, you and me then Clarke.  Come on, you have to support your girl and your patient.  Wait...are you on the witness list?"  Octavia paused her excitement and got serious once again.

"I haven't been informed of any...."  Octavia squealed again cutting Clarke off.

"Its on then.  Its so on!"

                                                                                              ***

  **ALL AVAILABLE UNITS IN THE DOWNTOWN AREA.  ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.  ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.  4 ARMED SUBJECTS.  I REPEAT, 4 SUBJECTS ALL ARMED AND DANGEROUS.  PROCEED WITH CAUTION.  ALL AVAILABLE UNITS....COPY?**

**Dispatch this is Tango 1 hundred, Tango one double O en route to that location.  ETA 5 mites.  All other available units set a perimeter all the way back to Emancipation.  Dispatch, please alert EMS and have them on standby.  Tango 250, 200, 98 what are your ETAs?**

**Tango 250 five mites out Lex**

**Tango 200 I'm on your heels Heda**

**98 copy...relaying a message directly from the top.  Cap says NOT TO PROCEED until backup arrives.  Copy?**

**.......**

**Tango ONe Hundred, this is Tango 10, did you copy the last transmission?**

**Tango 10 this is Tango 310 I am arriving on scene now and will relay message to 100...copy?**

**Tango 310 you ARE NOT to proceed without backup!  DO YOU UNDERSTAND!  You will wait for further back up with Tango 100.**

**Tango 10 I read you 10-2.  Repeat Lima Charlie.  I will relay and standby for backup**

 

*******

 

 

Lexa arrived immediately choosing to park her unit at the back entrance of the convenience store.  She chose not to activate her emergency siren or wig wags.  She knew the owner of the small convenience store and he almost always had his family helping him out.  If the men were armed they could very well have a hostage situation on their hands or even worse.  Someone may be seriously injured and she needed to investigate very quickly before the cavalry arrived.

She approached from the back entrance where Mr. Sanjel received all of his fresh produce on the dock every Tuesday and Thursday.  She saw the large metal door closed and secured and the back door intact so the men had to have walked right in through the front big as billy be damned.

_Good.  That means they really didn't think this through and we might be able to get the upper hand very quickly.  But also BAD because no plan means careless and out of control._

As Lexa approached the door a kid had come bursting out screaming and crying  waving a 38 caliber revolver by the grip.  His black hoodie had a few gaping holes in the front and one sleeve was slick with something clear and wet.

"HEY HEY HEY STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE KID AND DON'T YOU MOVE A FUCKING MUSCLE!  YOU UNDERSTAND??"  Lexa growled out as loud as she could but she hoped not loud enough to alert the rest of the armed men inside.

The kid listened to her and stopped about 5 ft away from the back door with his hands out to the side but he still held that pistol and Lexa knew that even a kid as scared and innocent looking as this one could kill her.

"Listen kid, what's your name?"  Lexa asked as calmly as possible trying to get her breathing under control along with the situation.

The kid was sobbing pitifully and a river of snot kept exiting his nostrils.  He reached up with his sleeve and wiped at it distractedly.

_Mystery solved.  Snot on his sleeve._

"C C Chris..." He answered wimpering.  "I swear I didn't...didn't want to do this.  They...they put...they were gonna kill me!" 

He shouted and then began sobbing again in loud barking honks that Lexa would've found funny if she wasn't so jacked up on adrenaline and also if she didn't feel so bad for the kid.

"Listen to me kid...."  Lexa's adrenaline was pumping so high she was taking longer than usual to catch her breath and her voice sounded shaky as a result.

"I know you're scared and you didn't want to do any of this but the only way you and I get out of this alive is if we BOTH put our guns away.  So I'm putting mine in my holdster now...."

Lexa began moving her 40 to her right hip very slowly as she watched the scared teenager shake and cry in front of her.

".....and you put yours down on the ground very slow.  I don't want you to drop it.  It might go off if you do that." 

Lexa's voice was calm and soft even if she was still out of breath and the young teenager seemed to calm down little by little as she gave him directions.

He began to slowly squat to put the gun down.  Lexa read his body language and if his blubbering and hysterical screaming wasn't enough to clue her in, he was terrified.

Once both guns were out of both of their hands she walked over to him and quickly pat him down.  She picked up the 38 and stuffed it in her right cargo pocket carefully before she moved the teenager over to the right side of the building in a small shadowy alley.

Lexa sat Chris down against the wall so he could calm down and then she began getting her intel speaking in a low calm voice.  

"Ok kid I need your help now.  How many people were in the store when you got there?" 

She asked quickly knowing that the sirens of her backup would be sounding any minute now.  The rest of the units, including Indra, had been calling for an update non stop for the past 2 minutes and she knew she needed to tell them something very soon.

"Three people.  I...I...oh God...the girl...Scotty had a knife to her throat...sh sh shhhhe was bleeding!"  He bleeted balling his hands up into a fists.

"Hey, its ok.  Its still not too late to help her.  You did good kid.  You got out of there.  Is there anyone hurt inside?  Did Scott cut the girl?"

"NO! NO miss but listen..."  His eyes that had been puffy from crying and red and squinted now grew into large, perfectly round saucers.

"He's fucking crazy.  Scott is.  Franky and Aaron too but Scotty....Scotty has killed before.  He's gonna cut her.  Kill her.  He made her bleed just a little so her dad would give him the money in the register but then he found a safe and....and if the old man doesn't open it....sh sh...I ran out.  He found the safe and I ran out I ran out I didn't know what to do!"  The kid bleated pitifully.

"Ok, ok don't worry Chris, we will get out of this ok?  I promise."

**Dispatch, this is Tango One Hundred we have a hostage situation.  THree armed assailants and 3 civilians.  I have made contact with one subject who was not a willing participant in the robbery.  He is here with me now.  Tango 310, I need your first stop to be the back entrance to take the subject into custody.  Copy?**

**This is 310 Maam I copy.**

"Good, good you see kid?  The good guys have your back."  Lexa smiled softly at Chris.

**Tango One Hundred this is Tango 10....**

"Oh great, Mom's calling."  Lexa huffed and then chuckled.

Chris looked at the young woman now and really noticed her for the first time.  He really began to appreciate her now more as a woman than just another cop.  She was absolutely stunning.  He was sure he had never seen a person look so attractive in this particular uniform before.  Moreover, he was in awe at the fact that she remained so calm...too calm really.  The type of calm, he now realized, that maybe he should be concerned about.  The type that maybe got people killed.  He saw a form of that in the leader of the goons inside but this was different.  This type of calm that settled on the strong shoulders of the young woman above him spoke of experience and kindness.  He immediately felt safe.  Still scared for her but safe.

**Go for double O**

**Tango One Hundred you will wait for back up to arrive before entering the building.  DO YOU COPY?  That's a direct order!**

"Hey Chris?  If Scotty hears the sirens he's gonna slit my young friend Jeryka's throat isn't he?"

Chris didn't need to answer her and couldn't when his breath began to violently hitch as he began to sob again.  Lexa sighed and pat his shoulder.

"Its ok Chris.  You know, this is my job...this is what I live for and I'm not gonna let another friend die tonight.  So Mom is gonna have to yell at me later."

**Tango 10, I copy....BREAK....all responding units DO NOT ACTIVATE lights and si....**

A siren interrupted Lexa's transmission and she let go of her mic.

"Fuck...." As the siren blared its mournful wail into the humid Houston night Lexa knew she wouldn't be getting out of this tonight without a few bumps and scratches.

Chris began to honk loudly again crying and sobbing out of control.  "I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna..."  He ranted over and over.

Chaimberlain arrived just as Chris began to get hysterical again.

"Hey 310...welcome to the suck rook...take this guy.  I'm going in..."  

A shot rang out inside and Lexa sprang into action without uttering another word to the rookie.

Chaimberlain felt helpless as he miserably tried calling out to Lexa to wait for him to back her up.  Before he even finished his sentence he saw her dissapear through the back door of the building.

**Dispatch this is Tango 310 we have shots fired at the scene of the robbery.  Tango 100 has gone in to engage.  I repeat...we have shots fired....**

*********

_Clarkes phone rings_

"Please dont tell me I have to come in...I've already had a few drinks and I'm not even the on call..."

"Its Lexa...I just....I thought you should know..."

"Tell me what the fuck youre trying to say already and stop jerking me around!"

"Shes here, shes in real bad shape...."

_CLICK_

_"_ Clarke youre off! What tha..." Raven was about to protest and then saw the look on her friends face and quickly stopped talking.

"Its Lexa!" She was already grabbing her keys and scan card and rushing to the door in a whirlwind of panic and terror.

This was real. This was happening and this could possibly be the night she lost Lexa...forever.

_Please no...please God no...don't please don't do this...._

"Wait! We're coming too!" Raven immediately sprang up from the couch slipping her shoes on.

"O! Pinch it off! Hurry the fuck up, we're out!"

 


	7. You're SO INFURIATING!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it took me this long to finish this chapter. I hope it won't take me as long to post the next one. Thanks for reading. If anyone is still reading.

_Keep calm.  Maybe she'll make an exception for you.  Hysterics have never worked with Grace.  Maybe if she sees your interest as purely professional it will work in your favor._

"Grace, look I know its against protocol but she's a friend.  Maybe just let me know the seriousness of her over all condition and that will be enough until I can figure out a way to get a hold of her sister."

"Oh, you know her sister?  Then you don't need the information from me.  You can just call her sister up and request the information from her."  

Grace was never one to cut corners or make comprimises.  Any other day, Clarke would respect the hell out of that.  She DID respect the hell out of Grace but now was not the time.  Now...Clarke had stepped off the edge of the safe sand bar into the unknown and her emotions were at flood tide.

She was desperate and scared and sick with worry.  Plan A was out.  Plan B had arrived.

“Where is she???  Just….please Grace…I have to see her….I have to at least know that she's ok…please tell me she's ok…”  

_So much for staying calm...._

In Clarke's subconsious mind, she had begun to realize and accept that her reaction was due heartbreaking sickness brought on by the fact that she was devastatingly in love with Lexa but now was not the time to ponder those complicated feelings.  Clarke's voice has entered an all out frantic tone and her lip was now trembling.  A precurser to a sobbing bout of hysteria.

Clarke is a doctor...raised by a doctor but when someone she cares about is sick or injured or possibly worse, she found long ago that she is completely incapable of holding it together.  Its the same every time. 

With age, experience and extensive knowledge, Clarke found that her tendency for over reacting to such situations only got significantly worse.  Knowledge, in all other aspects of her life eliminated over thinking, worrying and stress.  But when it came to the health of those she held in such high regard....those she....

_Loves?  Are you fucking stupid or something?  NO NO Lexa is the stupid one. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO PUT HERSELF IN DANGER?  Why does she need to save everyone?? Why does she have to be so fucking brave and kind and amazing and....oh God please let her be ok....please_

“Who are you?”

The voice that interrupted Clarke's frenetic thoughts was slightly rough with fatigue and quietly curious.  And yet, Clarke felt that it sounded a little familiar.  And as soon as she met dark inquisitive eyes she knew why.  This woman just HAD to share Lexa's genes. 

Jawline razor edge sharp.  The slight squint of alluring eyes.  The curve and slope of the regal bone structure.  The woman oozed with a mature and calm serenity but underneath it all a sense of cool, dark danger that hints at a warning to never cross this formiddable woman.  Clarke is convinced the Woods women must have been born with a naturally powerful aura.

The woman is carrying a small sleeping child in her arms who's face is tightly tucked into her neck.  The small boy has on blue onesie pajamas complete with feet and the natural maternal nature of the older Woods sibling begins to make Clarke's heart feel warm and gooey around the edges.

“Ms Woods…"  Grace sounds relieved underneath all that stoic professionalism.

"I was just about to tell Dr. Clarke Griffin here that she knows what the policy is with our patients already and that I can not disclose any information about the status of any patient to anyone other than family or next of kin. But….maybe YOU can…..if you feel she is a worthy party that is.”

Grace offered smiling sweetly at the slinky majestic woman before walking off to make her rounds.

Grace was Clarke’s favorite veteran ER nurse and she knew that no matter how much Grace loved her she would not bend or break the rules for her. Even if her mother WAS Abigail Griffin. But she just HAD to try. She barely let Octavia come to a complete stop in the loading area in front of the hospital before she was opening the door to run inside.

The fear that had consumed her emotions had completely taken over and Clarke had no choice but to just go along with it.

“So you’re the doctor huh?”

Anya inquired quietly. Her slightly squinted inquisitive eyes regarding the blonde carefully.

“You must be Lexa’s sister Anya….and that small sleeping cutie must be Matt.” Clarke said smiling sadly at the woman and her sleeping son.

Anya said nothing but continued to study this enigmatic, young doctor from her vintage looking Star Wars t shirt and ripped jeans to her naturally beautiful makeup free face.

 _oh God if my kid sister isnt already head over heels she will be once she sees that tshirt._   _T_ _he bitch Costia refused to even tolerate Star Wars._

Their family Star Wars movie marathons always started with the three of them but as soon as Costia realized that the movie's for the night were Star Wars episodes she would quickly disappear leaving the sisters to veg out together.  Not that Anya cared.  She of course preferred it that way.

_Bitch was probably under someone else every time she left.  Fuck...I hope this one is nothing like her._

"I'm sorry, yes I am the doctor.  A doctor...um just not Lexa's doctor...uh unfortunately which is why...well uh I don't know the status of her condition.  And I know you're her sister and we just met and Lexa and I haven't...well we know each other but....um we just....and we've only just begun you know...ugh fuck...."

"CLARKE...." Anya interrupted smirking amusedly at the adorable rambling.

"First and foremost, Lexa will live.  She got her ass handed to her but she will be ok.  She took on 3 grown men by herself which, by the way, is not something that surprises me at all and normally she would've escaped from a little incident like this with nothing more than a few brusies and cuts.  I've seen her handle way more than this before."

"Fuck...fuck, fuck, fuck..."  Clarke whispered covering her face with both hands.

"One of the men she took on was apparently trained in guerilla warfare and hand to hand combat just like my kid sister is and according to her she respected that he chose a knife fight with her one on one when he could've just shot her and ended it all.  So this particular occurance panned out a little different."  Anya rolled her eyes and shook her head as she recounted the events.  Clarke noticed that Anya sounded more amused than regretful which she just could NOT wrap her head around.

"That being said, the good news is she didnt get shot. Well she didnt get shot anywhere that her vest wasnt covering. The bad news is....that it was a knife fight.  I assume you've seen enough of those to understand.  From the looks of it, she is better skilled with an edged weapon but he still had the advantage."

"Well of course...she was out numbered." Clarke assumed out loud wringing her hands together nervously.

"No-hoh..." Anya scoffed shaking her head. "He had apparently done a few dozen lines of cocaine before deciding to rip off the nearest gas station. He was feelin no pain." Anya provided cringing slightly and shaking her head.

Clarke suddenely felt drained and exhausted as the last trace amounts of adrenaline left her body. She found the nearest uncomfortable plastic ER chair and heavily deposited herself onto its cold hard surface letting out a huge sigh of relief as she closed her eyes against the harsh flourescents in the hospital hallway.

"Fuck Lexa..." Clarke whispered to herself cradling her face in her hands.  "What were you thinking baby?"

Anya catches every word and can't help smiling down at the blonde woman with a twinkle in her eye.

Her sister had the strangest most powerful pull on women.  It was extraordinary really.  Women of every age and back ground and culture.  Women who had never lusted after another woman in their lives and others who had and were just completely rendered speechless in her presence.

After 26 years Anya was sure that this fact about her little sister would not surprise her again but every time she saw the effects of that pull it never failed to make her laugh or shake her head or leave her in awe. 

Anya continued to study the young doctor very closely and had to hold in a exasperated laugh because Clarke looked like she walked right in from a Hollywood casting call for Helen of Troy.  Even as casually dressed as she was and without the slightest hint of makeup.

As Anya closely studied the blonde, she was sure that as talented as Monet and Fusilli were at recreated the female form on canvas, even they couldn't create a replica of beauty as indescribable as this.

Clarke Griffin was a mythical type of stunning.  Ineffable in her beauty and as priceless as Helen was to Paris.  A gift from Aphrodite herself that he would defy the world for.  A gift that, when he chose to accept, would wage wars, spill blood and etch the legend of the trojan horse into every rebounding echo in time.

And Clarke wasn't only this walking, talking homage to Helen but she also had a brain big enough and gifted enough to comprehend the mysteries of the human body and how best to cut into it, stitch it back together and prevent loss of life. 

Clarke had walked into a hospital that Anya is assuming she works in, and tried to get the 'no nonsense' head ER nurse to break the rules for her knowing full well it would never happen.  She practically BEGGED to be let in as if she couldn't go another moment not knowing how her little sister had managed to step in it this time. 

These articulable facts were more than enough to prove to Anya that as crazy as her little sister was about this blonde, the blonde was equally as crazy about her.  That was enough to ease Anya's worries. 

"And you're right, I don't know you but I know my sister and....

ONE:  I think its best that you get on your knees now and thank God that Lexa ISN'T your patient

TWO:  You have unsettled her in a way THat I haven't seen in a while, so I think it goes without saying that as her older sister I am very protective and you want to stay on my good side.

THREE:  If you plan on sticking around, which by the way you should have already figured out by now especially if you showed up here, this whole ER thing will be a pretty common occurrence.  My sister has ZERO concern for her own well being when it comes to her career and...

FOUR:  She's right, you really are cute when you get flustered."

After hearing Anya's last bullet point, Clarke leaned over with her head in her hands and snorted.

"Ugh....why is she like this???"  Clarke lamented. 

Anya's face suddenly clouded over dark and pensive. Clarke looked up once again and caught the tail end of a very sad look in the older woman's eyes.  Before she could ask why the elder Woods sibling looked bereft, Anya spoke up.

"I could tell you but maybe that's something only Lexa can explain in full."  She offered smiling sadly at the blonde. 

Just then a pocket hurricane in the form of Clarke's Houstonian best friend came barreling through the automatic sliding doors.

"Uhh...Clarke...what's wha happened?  Oh, holy....fucking...shit ...um....damn hello, tall gorgeous Madonna and um....child?  I um...I'm huhhh....her best friend and you are...woah...I think I need to sit down."

Clarke felt Raven plop down in the seat next to her and couldn't help laughing at how spaced out her friend sounded.  It started out as a chuckle but soon grew into a silent, deep laugh that shook Clarke deep down to her very relieved soul.

They were joined just then by an out of breath Octavia who frantically looked around at the scene deeply confused.

"Ok well...uh yea...weirdos...anyway...woah....you have to be Lexa's sister.  Look at those cheekbones!"  Remarked a very amused Octavia. 

Anya only regarded the young woman raising her eyebrows slightly which only caused Octavia to become even more amused.

"Ha!  Same little eyebrow lift too!  Geez the Woods women really have some remarkable genes!  Is that your little boy?  Daaawwww he's cute!  Looks just like Lexa!  What color are his eyes?"  

Octavia rambled on forgetting that not only did Anya not know who she was but also that they had made a trip to the hospital at 1 a.m. for a very sobering reason.

When Anya hesitated to answer seemingly bewildered by the hyper brunette, Clarke spoke up from her seated position.

"I'm sorry Anya, that is one of my best friends and room mates Octavia Blake."  

Octavia reached out and Anya took a short beat to rearrange her still sleeping son to a one armed hold in order to reach out and shake the offered hand.

"Good to meet you tall, dark and serious Woods sibling."  Octavia said as she gave the tanned hand one firm pump and then let go.

"And this bumbling, thirsty fool sitting next to me is my other room mate and best friend Raven Reyes."  

Clarke added looking over to Raven and watching as her friend's cheeks turned a light shade of pink.  Raven eagery stood and stumbled over her own feet as she made her way over to Anya to offer her own hand.

Anya was clearly amused as she watched the klutzy tanned woman make her way over to her.

"Hello Raven."  Anya said when Raven held on for way too long without letting go.  

The low and slightly raspy purr of her voice caused a wave of goosebumps to appear on Ravens skin and then Octavia broke the enchanted moment with a loud clearing of her throat.

"Uh, Clarke...is everything o.k?  How's Lexa?  Have you seen her?" 

"I...I uh...no I haven't but Anya...she told me...."  Clarke stuttered uncertainly looking from her friend to Anya and back not really knowing what to say.

"Go on in Clarke.  She's been out for a while already but I'd prefer if you woke her up so she could see you because she would not SHUT UP about checking her phone to see if you had sent her a text recently."  Anya told Clarke smiling softly.

"Sh..She's been asking for me?"  The blonde asked suddenly feeling like she might cry again.

Anya nodded her head with a teasing smile.

"Yea she was driving me crazy!" Anya grumbled.

"Why didn't she just....how come she didn't just tell you to call me to let me know what happened??"  Clarke asked with a hint of bewilderment tingeing her voice.  Her creased forehead and soft blue eyes gave away much more than Clarke wanted to show.

Anya's barely there smirk and uptick of one eyebrow lasted for only a few seconds before she answered.

"Oh Ms Griffin, you have no idea how stubborn my little sister is but you will learn.  She doesn't want to worry anyone.  Even her own sister.  She was actually coherent coming into the E.R. so they knew to call me or I wouldn't be here.  A tip, if you want her to let you know when things like this happen....leave a standing order and enforce it regularly.  Be firm."

Clarke bit her lip with worry and then rolled her eyes.

"She's gonna get moved to a regular room and they are going to keep her over night for observation but after that she'll be released.  I have to get this one back to bed or he will make the sitter's life a living hell tomorrow.  It was good to meet you all.  And Clarke...."

Clarke had already stood and was nervously rubbing the palms of her hands on the front of her jeans as she listened.

"Uh...uh huh?"  She piped up distractedly.

"Remind my sister to change me to her next of kin...seriously....she needs to quit procrastinating!"  Anya says shaking her head.

Clarke squints her eyes in confusion and Anya knows right away that she probably fucked up by opening her mouth.

"Of course I'll um...I'll pass on the message."

Matt had began stirring mid way through Anya's interaction with Clarke and she began rocking the small child up and down soothingly by gently bouncing on the balls of her feet.  

"And thank you Anya....so much."  Clarke bit her bottom lip again anxiously.

"Hey hey, she's ok.  She's still with us.  I know how you feel.  Trust me.  I've been through it enough times to understand.  But the longer you hold on to the 'what ifs' the more time you waste worrying about what didn't happen."  Anya advised wisely with soft understanding flickering in her warm brown eyes.

Clarke nodded her head and when the urge to hug Anya overcomes her she throws caution to the wind and gives in pulling the lanky woman into a quick but tight hug.

Anya stiffened for a few seconds obviously shocked by the gesture but she when she regains her composure she also gives in returning the hug and patting Clarke on the back.

"Now go.  Go scold her.  She already had a good dose of scolding from me but she could go with another from you."  Anya said chuckling softly.  

"She already knows I'll be by in the morning before I go into work to make sure she gets settled in after she gets out of here."  And with that, Anya gently turns Clarke around by one shoulder and pushes her toward the trauma rooms.

"She's in eight..."  Anya whispers.

Clarke's throat is dry and her heart is beating erratically.  She knows Lexa is o.k. but is still afraid of what she might find once she walks into the room.  

No matter what this was before today, this relationship, friendship, kinship SHIP ship was with Lexa, this moment was going to change everything.  This moment was going to force them both to cross a line into something that Clarke had never experienced and Lexa never thought she'd be ready for again.

When Clarke first sees the small lump precariously buried in a mountain of blanket and gauze, she is so shocked that she can't register what to focus on first.  Her brilliant medical mind is already trying to assess the damage like a natural reflex. 

Lexa has minor cuts on her bottom lip, over her right eyebrow and across her left cheekbone.  Minor because Clarke can tell they did not require stitches.  THere is a heavy bandage over her left ear.  A hard splint and sling has been applied to Lexa's right arm.  By the time Clarke registers every single bandage that she can see above the hospital blanket, she feels dizzy.  

Clarke's chin begins to tremble and her eyes fill with tears.  She fights against the rising panic and fear that begins filling her chest because she knows she just may begin sobbing and she doesn't want to freak Lexa out if she wakes up.

Lexa's lips begin to move silently as if she is attempting to say something in her sleep.  Clarke walks toward her source of weakness and strength and addiction and affection hesitantly.  She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to try to calm down and be strong.  She begins to feel better and then looks down and sees Lexa again.  In that hospital bed.  Looking small and broken and helpless and she feels her resolve slipping again.  

Just then Lexa's eyes flutter.  She completely closes her heavy lids once more and keeps them closed for a few seconds.  Long enough for Clarke to think that she is still sleeping and must only be having a very vivid dream.

Then Lexa slits her eyes open once more and keeps them that way.  The few centimeters of light that hit Lexa's pupils causes her eyes to water but she knows someone is there and she is determined to keep them open.

"I...ahhm..."  Lexa's voice emerges from her full lips raspy and barely audible.  

Lexa grimaces against the drought in her mouth and throat.  Suddenly an image pops into her head of being submerged under a large sand dune and when she tries to clear her throat again it just becomes worse causing her to audibly gasp out loud and cough again.

Clarke hurries over to Lexa's bed side grabbing the styrophome cup of water that was waiting and directing the straw leaning against the inside of the rim to Lexa's plump, chapped lips.

"Here honey, drink this.  Shit Lexa...just....take a small sip....WAIT!"  Lexa began gulping the water in large pulls as if she were a fish seeking oxygen.  

Clarke abruptly pulls the straw out of her mouth knowing that a large drink could do her more harm than good.

She was right.

Lexa began coughing even harder causing her face to take on an unhealthy ruddy shade of red.  Clarke saw the heart monitor shooting up and promptly begins turning off the alarms as they begin sounding.  She knew that she could do nothing but wait until Lexa cleared her throat.

She put the cup down again and brushed her hand down the side of Lexa's cheek coaching her through it gently.

"Keep coughing...that's right...that's good.  Next time you breathe in to cough again, you need to take a much deeper breath.  I know, I know its not easy just take your time.  Try little by little.  There you go.  There.  That's what I like to see.  You're sister hinted that you might be a shitty patient but you're listening to my directions so you're proving her wrong right now.  Good.  There you go.  I hope this means you'll listen to doctor's orders from now on."  

Clarke heard a small chuckle make its way out between weezes and a small smirk grace Lexa's lips.  

Clarke inhales a double lung full of relief realizing that her own heart rate must have also peaked to an alarming rate being that she was practically holding her breath.

"I thought...I thought you were Anya."  Lexa makes out and then coughs a little more.

"Shhh, you don't have to talk.  Just relax.  That's why you're laying in a bed in a hospital.  So you can relax and rest and let your body heal."  Clarke informed the brunette matter of factly.

"If I could open my eyes wider I'd roll them at you but the light is irritating them so much they keep tearing up and its only making my headache worse."  Lexa grumbled wincing a little as she tried to swallow a dry lump.

Clarke moved forward rolling her eyes and scoffing while she busied herself dimming the lights over Lexa's bed by moving the switches behind her head.

Clarke then reached over once more for the cup of water.

This time when she directs the straw to Lexa's lips the brunette is looking at her with gorgeous sparkling green eyes.  The look of adoration makes Clarke's heart stutter in her chest.

"You're a fucking angel.  Did you know that?"  Lexa states with so much conviction that Clarke feels a warm sinking feeling take root in her stomach.  And then it suddenly vanishes and cold, fear induced anger replaces it.

"And you're SO SO....INFURIATING!  How did this happen?  Why aren't there any other cops in here with you?  Is it because you took on the threat alone?  Lexa...Lexa you scared the fucking living shit out of me!  Why did you do that?  Am I right?  Did you take on a threat alone??"  Clarke nearly screeches with frustration and horror.  She sloshes cold water all over her hand as she sets the styrofome cup back down a little too hard.

Lexa remains silent and closes her eyes again.  She breathes in through her nose deeply and lets the air out through barely opened lips.

Instead of waiting for Lexa to respond, Clarke grabs her chart to read it.  She angrily flips through the pages.

"Concussion, perforated ear drum, dislocated shoulder, multiple abrasions....some...some requiring _stitches_ , contusions...numerous bone bruises...JESUS CHRIST!  How...how the fuck did that happen to your ear Lexa??"

"Gun...happens when it goes off almost right in your ear.  It will heal.  No big deal."  Lexa retorted sounding exhausted.

"What the...fuck fuck..."  Clarke whispered to herself taking a huge breath and closing her eyes to try and calm herself down.  "Can't fucking believe...that close...came that fucking close."  She continued mumbling.

Then at Lexa.  "WHY?  WHY Lexa?  Why didn't you just fucking shoot the stupid fucking asshole!  Do you not get that you could have died??"  

Clarke's voice has raised to an alarming volume and she feels the fear overwhelming her senses.

"Answer me Lexa!  You...you can't just...."

" _Yes..._ I can..."  Lexa counters, calmly, seriously and with conviction.  Her sharp green eyes now falling on Clarke as the young doctor puts her hands behind her head to help herself calm down.

"And I WILL.  Its my duty Clarke and this comes with the territory.  I didn't shoot him because he had a hostage.  I went hand to hand because I'm more than capable of handling myself..."

"Lexa!  You were outnumbered 3 to 1!  Men with guns and one flying high on cocaine who has probably killed countless fucking people with his bare hands!  You are not unbreakable...or....or....IMMORTAL!"

"You've never seen me fight."  Ineffective and irrelevant as her counter punch was to the issue at hand, Lexa's defeated tone alerted Clarke to the fact that the young police officer was aware that there was no argument against the point she was trying to frantically drive home and yet, she was still trying albeit, not with much conviction, to get the upper hand.  This made Clarke want to pull her hair out and smother Lexa in kisses all at the same time.

_Why is she so fucking difficult and so fucking perfect!_

"And can you please lower your voice?  This concussion is no joke and my head is pounding against my skull.  Look, I don't know if you really want to be around me or keep continuing whatever it is we are doing, but if you plan on being a friend or...or something....just know that if my fight would've ended tonight or if its ends in the near future, you will just have to accept that."  Lexa stated stiffly closing her eyes again to attempt to relieve the pounding in her head.

"Like HELL I do."  Clarke grits out angrily.

Lexa's eyes pop open in shock and frustration. 

"You're a walking contradiction Clarke Griffin.  The day we met you were about ready to rip me a new one because you assumed that every person in a HPD uniform was a trigger happy murderer!  And now you want me to go into a hostage situation guns blazing and shoot the dumb motherfucker...and the teenager whose throat he had a knife to?  But that's the point...everyone looks at a situation in hindsight and thinks they would've done things different.  Everyone has a fucking opinion!  No matter how perfect or fucked up things end up going there is always a consequence!"

"I don't fucking care about any of that!  Lexa do you want to kill yourself?  Its not about who could've done the job better!  Its about...its about...YOU!"

"I AM A COP!  IT IS MY JOB CLARKE! Its not up to you and me to decided who lives and who dies.  No matter what we do!  So much of what we do relies on our instincts and sometimes they are spot on.  Other times not so much.  I reacted the best way I knew how and I didn't want to lose another friend tonight. Why is it so different now?  Its ok when I'm the one in danger?  Its ok to just kill a man first and ask questions later and damn the consequences just so I can avoid death?"

"What is so fucking wrong with defending yourself??  With perserving your own life as well as others!  Do you EVER live for yourself?  For your family?  You are way more than just a cop Lexa!  You're way more than what your uniform represents!  You have to see that!  You have to balance it out!  The importance of your life in that uniform is JUST AS IMPORTANT as your life out of it!  Is it so fucking horrible that I want you to stay in one piece??  To be SAFE???"  

Clarke is fighting off an uncontrollable bout of hysteria, never having felt so many conflicting emotions all at once. The tears that have been left unshed and pooling at the cusp of her eyelids finally give way and fall down both sides of her face.

She's angry that this terror she is experiencing is because she cares so much for Lexa.  Too much.  She was pissed that the fear is forcing her to face those feelings faster than expected and she can do nothing but stand there yelling and crying and gritting her teeth. And the anger hit her so fast that she had no idea she had progressed into a full on shouting match in a hospital ER in the middle of the night.  She was going to hate herself later when she thought of this and no doubt she would hear from Abby about it too.

"I've survived this long Clarke...I'll continue to do so long after anyone expects me too."

_Its my penance._

"Life should be about more than just surviving...don't we deserve better than that?"  Clarke inquired rhetorically, her voice soft and raspy and defeated.

Before either of them could continue their argument, a small knock sounds near the open glass sliding doors and in steps Captain Indra Wilson.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important."  She states robotically trying to hold in her own anger.  The last thing she wants is to have three screaming women in one ER room.  She heard most of the argument between the doctor and her Sgt from the down the hall.

"No...no its fine Captain.  The doctor and I just have a bit of a misunderstanding."  Lexa explained quickly trying to fumble her way out of trouble.  

"Misunderstanding?  I don't blame her.  I seem to be in a state of confusion myself Lexa.  Following direct orders seems to be your only weakness....well....that and....maybe one other 'thing.'"  Indra says smirking to herself while she glances at Clarke momentarily.

"I am Lexa's Captain, Indra Wilson."  She says walking the few feet over to Clarke and shaking her hand. 

"Its good to meet you maam."  Clarke states genuinely.

"She charged him by the way...."  Indra said in response.  When Clarke furrowed her brow in confusion she explained further.

"You were wondering how one gets that type of injury without blowing their head or ear off?  The perforated ear drum?  She charged the assailant.  She charged THREE assailants.  The first had a long arm.  I believe..."

"CAPTAIN!"  Lexa calls from her bed flashing a warning at her mentor with terror filled green eyes.  The last thing she needed was for Clarke to know the extent of the danger she was in.  It was bad enough that she had seen her chart.

Indra prompty ignores her though and continues explaining.

"As I was saying, I believe the term most often used for that kind of long arm is AR 15.  I'm sure you've heard of it.  Used to only be carried by our military and now every scum bag on the street seems to be toting one around.  Lexa charged inside this store after I told her to wait for backup.  She charged the long arm first at a dead sprint.  Something about a coward with a gun Ms. Griffin.  If he had a chance to get a shot off he would have missed.  Its an exact science by now.  Lexa will tell you the same thing.  It literally terrifies them to see someone running full speed at them with no fear of getting shot.  They hide behind their guns."

"I think...I think I have to sit down for this but please....please continue Maam.  I need to hear it."  Clarke said as she sat in a chair nearest Lexa's bed.

"Well, Lexa took him out fairly easily.  Knocked him out with his own gun.  One perfect butt stroke to the temple and it was done.  I know all these details after watching surveillance videos by the way."  Indra said looking over at Lexa as if the police officer had asked for an explanation.

"When she charged the second gun, a 40 caliber P2000 semi automatic hand gun, she ran for the assailants shooting arm and shoved it away from her body but he managed to pull the trigger anyway so it went off right by her ear as she was pushing it up and away."

"Fuck..."  Clarke whispered.

"And the reason for the numerous slash wounds on her body is because the first thing she did was pull the guy with the switch blade close to her body to attempt to get control of the knife.  Any knife fight requires that.  She always eliminates the advantage by eliminating the space.  Basically, once you've decided to get involved in a knife fight you have to accept that you won't get out of the fight without a few cuts."

Indra pauses momentarily to look over at Lexa in the hospital bed.  She takes on an inquisitive look as if she is trying to decide if she should continue.

"Then she did something that we actually don't teach in the academy.  Something that...well...is kind of gruesome but perfectly ok with me if you asked me off the record.  She pinned the assailants dominant hand to the left side of his chest with his own switch blade."  Indra walked over to Lexa's bag full of items.  She reaches and retrieves a small plastic bag with a bloody switch blade preserved inside.

"I gotta give it to her though.  She didn't forget to preserve the evidence.  Never does really."  Indra states walking over to where the paper towels are stacked next to a small sink in the corner of the room.

"THIS is the switch blade.  She did the same with his other hand on the other side of his chest with her own military issued kabar."  Indra says wrapping a brown paper towel around the plastic bag so she can put another layer of something between her skin and the bloody item.

"I'd say anything goes in a deadly force situation...but IA...."

"Ok! I think she's heard enough Captain.  Thank you for your assessment."  Lexa said giving the Captain a pleading look so she could take mercy on her and stop recounting the details of the incident.

"Ok, well if you're sure.  I wanted to come by to make sure you're in one piece so that I could rip you a new one.  Looks like you're in good hands so I'll be heading out.  I'll be expecting a full report written on this as soon as you have use of your arm and hands."  Indra instructed seriously.

"Yes maam."  Lexa blurted out quickly hoping that the Captain would leave without further incident.

"Th...thank you for coming by."  Lexa stuttered.

"It was nice to meet you Dr. Griffin.  Take care of my Sgt please.  We need her to fully recover so that she can be strong enough to take the ass reeming she is going to get once she's back on full duty for the stunt she pulled tonight."  Indra said shaking Clarke's hand.

"Consider it done maam.  It was nice to meet you as well."  Clarke politely replied.

Indra walked out and Grace walked in quickly pushing buttons and switching switches connected to Lexa's hospital bed.

"Dr. Griffin, I see that Ms. Woods has been left in your care."  The older woman notates without looking up from her duties.

"Lexa...we go over this every time I come in here, Grace.  Please call me Lexa."  The brunette croaked from her position on the bed.

Grace doesn't acknowledge Lexa as she continues to prepare her patient for transport.

Clarke rolls her eyes with a huff and has just enough to time to mutter a "Of course you know Grace so well....fucking kamikaze...." before the veteran nurse speaks again.

"Dr. Griffin, could you please gather Ms. Woods belongings?  We will be moving her to the 4th floor now.  And if you want to call or message her sister to let her know of the change I suggest you do so now or as soon as she gets settled on the 4th so she isn't worried."  

Grace left no room for discussion while she delegated her orders as she no doubt has done everyday for the last 20 years of her career. 

Both Clarke and Lexa assumed that the older woman got an ear full of their little spat before she entered the room.

Clarke followed orders quickly and quietly picking up the white plastic bag that held all of the items Lexa entered the hospital with along with her clothing. 

  * Slightly tattered and bloodied uniform
  * dark brown leather wallet
  * car and house keys
  * zippo lighter



Other than Lexa inquiring after her zippo lighter, the two women did not speak throughout the entire transfer to the 4th floor.  

Once the nurse on duty went through all the formalities with Lexa, she left the room and the two women were once again left alone in silence.  The soft beep of the machines and a pinging sound of a call button going off in another room were the only sounds to accompany their tension filled silence.

Lexa decided to once again throw out the gauntlet.

"Now is the time to walk away from this...from me.  This is your last chance Clarke.  I won't blame you if you feel that its not worth it.  I won't hold it against you.  We were already pretty deep into it weren't we?  I mean I felt like we were but I feel like right now, right here as I'm laying in this fucking hospital bed like I will no doubt be again in the future at one point or another, this is pretty much the last opportunity you have to walk away for good and maybe we can be friends.  Or, we can totally go our seperate ways.  Either way you still have a chance now.  If you feel like you can't deal with...this...complication, then I'd rather you leave now."

Clarke did not hesitate in the slightest when she began to speak again.  She walked over to Lexa's bed side and looked into her eyes.

"I didn't show up here tonight...just to...Jesus Christ Lexa what has you thinking like this??  I'm...I'm not planning on turning my back on you.  I fucked up before and I know I did but will you STOP holding that over my head already!"

Clarke's broken voice slices right through Lexa's chest suddenly dulling every other ailment she had suffered that night.

"Oh beautiful..."  Lexa replies softly in a voice heavy to the brim with regret.

"...that's not what I meant...I only....fuck I'm sorry Clarke.  Come here.  Bring a chair over and sit down.  We...* **sigh***...I guess we have quite a bit of talking to do."

Clarke obeyed sniffling quietly and grabbing a tissue from the cardboard box on Lexa's bedside table to wipe her face before she sat.  Once she got comfortable sitting she reached over to hold Lexa's cold hand.  She registered the horribly dark purple, red and blue hues on and around her knuckles and bit her trembling lip but kept silent not wanting to talk about anything other than their situation.

"I wasn't giving you the option to walk away because of what happened between you and I...."  

Lexa sighed and paused trying to gather her nerve to continue the conversation and tell the story of her past that she really never wanted to bring up but knew eventually she was going to have to.

"Is this about your ex?  Is that who you have on your next of kin?  You need to update that by the way.  Anya told me to remind you to change it."

Lexa looked at Clarke in mild shock.  She nodded her head numbly in confirmation.

"Let's just say that my ex was not a big fan of my job taking up so much of my time.  I think maybe in some warped way she thought that sleeping with a co worker of mine would make me see that.  I think maybe it was a desperate attempt to get my attention.  Funny thing about that is that she had my attention the whole time.  Planning a wedding wasn't easy while we were both working full time jobs and mine was so demanding.  Even so, she found time to have an affair in the middle of it all."

Clarke could not prevent the sharp intake of breath that audibly stuttered as it exited her parted lips.  She was shocked and horrified and so so angry.  A vile mixture of disgust and anger churned in her stomach and even though she'd never laid eyes on Lexa's ex fiancé she hated her. 

Clarke all at once understood the fear and lack of confidence and projected surly indifferent side of Lexa that she had caught a glimpse of in the short time she knew her.  She understood Lexa's propensity for being in complete control at all times and to even set rules that she never deviated from.  Rules that were so hardlined and strict that they not only kept her from ever getting hurt again, but they had also kept her from ever having ANY kind of meaningful relationship with any woman who wasn't a blood relative.

This fact brought a sorrowful feeling deep down inside Clarke that so overwhelmed her that she had to take a few deep breaths to overcome the fresh tears that were threatening to form on the cusp of her eyelids. 

"One of the last things she told me after I walked in on her...after I broke off the engagement...was that I had nothing going for me and was not going anywhere.  That I was a skilled killer and nothing else.  The constant danger I faced was never an actual problem for her until it started cutting into the time I spent with her.  I met her in California when I was still on active duty and when I wasn't deployed she had all my attention and all my free time. Once I started walking a beat for this city.....she was still my number one priority but the job came in at a close second and began taking up more and more of my time."

"Its your career and its not healthy for your world to revolve around one aspect of your life anyway.  Like I said before, you need a healthy balance Lexa."  Clarke commented.  Her finger tips still lightly running over the top of Lexa's severely bruised knuckles.

"Why do you do it?  From what I gather, you are in here quite often which means you take risks no one else is willing to take.  I mean, at least not as regularly as you are willing to risk your life.  Why...why do you think you have to almost kill yourself to do your job?"  Clarke inquired tentitavely hoping that she would get at least some version of an answer.

"I...I don't really think when I'm in those situations.  I mean I do, but I kind of don't.  I don't think about myself....I...."  Lexa trails off closing her eyes again and taking a deep breath.

"Its ok...just relax Lexa.  You don't have to talk anymore.  We can talk later."  Clarke says soothingly, misinterpreting Lexa's hesitance for fatigue or an increase in pain or discomfort.

Lexa doesn't open her eyes but she shakes her head and clenches her jaw.  She hadn't really allowed herself to think about her parents in so long and now that she could see their faces on the inside of her eyelids she found herself swallowing down a devastating sob.

"Hey, hey its ok honey.  Everything is ok.  Just relax and I'll get you anything you need.  Don't think about what I asked anymore.  You can talk about whatever you want WHEN ever you want. You've already dropped a lot of pretty heavy details on me about your past."

"Something...something...."  Lexa began and then was shushed quietly by a concerned Clarke Griffen. 

"Lex...baby I told you to stooopppp.  Please don't start being difficult.  You really don't have to talk."  Clarke insisted caressing Lexa's clammy forehead.

"Just...its just you."  Clarke once again grabs the cup of water putting the straw in Lexa's mouth carefully.  Lexa took her time taking a few small sips and then nodded her head so Clarke could know she was done drinking.

"Something in the way you speak to me and something in the way you look at me....makes me feel like I can open up.  I have told you more tonight in the span of an hour than I've told anyone in my whole life except for Anya of course and sometimes Echo."  Lexa admitted pensively.

Clarke's heart swelled in her chest and a swarm of butterflies danced a jig.

"No more talk Lex...just...try to get some rest...."

"I'm sorry I scared you.  And I'm sorry you felt you had to come to the hospital on your day off.  Go home and get some rest.  Grace said I'd be out of here tomorrow.  I'll be o.k. Clarke...."  When the young doctor pursed her lips and shook her head, Lexa redoubled her effort.

"Seriously, there's not much else you can do to help.  Anya will be back in the morning, minus one rugrat and she will take care of the set up at my place so I can have access to all the things I'm going to need for the next couple of weeks until I've fully recovered."

"What you're saying is that your sister will have to juggle her job and taking care of her child for the next 2 weeks to make sure you're taken care of and following doctor's orders right?"

"Clarke...just please...."  Lexa began mumbling and trailing off as she raised both hands to her temples and gingerly began rubbing them as she tried to still the shaking in her hands.

Clarke stood immediately and pushed the red button to summon the nurse.  "What's the pain level Lexa....and DON'T you DARE lie to me."  Clarke nearly growled between clenched teeth. 

"Fuck....eight..."  Lexa choked out detesting the whiny tone in her voice and not being able to help herself at the same time.

"Yes...can I help you?"  Came the nurse's voice through the intercom.  "Yes Ashley? Can you please send...."  Clarke paused while looking over at the name of the RN on the dry erase board.

"Christa over to Ms Woods room please?  I'd like to discuss the patient's pain levels."

Lexa remained silent and calm, eyes closed against the pounding pain in her skull as she listened to Clarke in full on doctor mode. 

The woman was truly a phenomenon.  

She listened as Clarke spoke softly with the nursing staff.  She compared notes and asked pertinent questions giving the RNs the respect they deserved.  When it was her turn to voice her opinion she offered it.  It was a collaboration and judging from the body language and tone of voice coming from the nursing staff, Lexa could easily conclude that they all loved Dr. Clarke Griffin. 

Next, Lexa listened as she closed her hot and throbbing eyes to the phone conversation Clarke had with the on call doctor after Christa suggested she call him to confirm the plan of action so everyone was on the same page.  Her tone of voice was calm and in command as she relayed the information to her colleague on the phone and then there was silence.

"Lex...are you asleep?"

Lexa mumbled a no but kept her eyes shut.

"Ok, well I spoke with your doctor and we both decided that a cortisone shot is our best bet to relieve your pain right now and of course I'll be looking at ALL of your tests, xrays and scans with him in the morning just to be sure nothing was missed.  So Christa is getting that ready to administer as we speak and then I need you to get some rest.  I'll be right here by your side over night.....NO...."

When Lexa opened her eyes to argue Clarke shut her down right away.

"No, I'm not asking your permission Lexa Woods.  I'm staying whether you like it or not. You're not staying in a hospital over night ALONE."  Clarke mumbled rather flustered as she registered the soft adoring look in Lexa's green eyes once more.

"So anyway, like I said....she's gonna administer the shot and then I need you to rest.  Absolute relaxation ok?"  Clarke stated contradicting her firm statement with a sweet soft voice.

"Sure..."  Lexa quietly croaked and then cleared her throat and lightly winced against the reverted dryness that had seem to once again settle in her throat.

"....on one condition....you..."

Just then the nurse came in and explained what the shot was for before uncovering the side of Lexa's right hip below the pelvic bone and gently inserting the needle into her flesh.

Lexa held her breath and exhaled as the medication was injected but other than that there was no other sound out of the young police officer.

When Christa took her leave, Clarke began situating the large pink and brown reclining chair that was the only offered option for a bed for anyone staying overnight at the bedside of a loved one.

"Clarke, you can stay but you have to sleep with me if you're gonna be here overnight."  Lexa stated quickly so she could prevent Clarke from settling into the chair in fear that once settled in she'd refuse to get up.

"I think its a little too late for that honey.  Water under the bridge, ship has sailed kind of late.  I've already done that...although I'd never say no to an encore."

"Fucking adorable but not what I meant and you know it..."  Lexa nearly whispered and then tried once again to clear her throat. 

Clarke stepped forward pouring more water into the cup for Lexa and giving her some while making sure she sipped slowly once again.

"Lexa I..."  Clarke suddenely remembered her best friends that were probably still loitering down stairs in the ER waiting room. 

After giving Lexa a quick explanation she exited the hospital room and made her way back down to the ER.

Clarke found her friends passed out, one brunette head folded over the other.  Once Clarke was able to rouse them she explained Lexa's condition, her plan for the night and the new room number.  Then remembering she had to text Lexa's sister with the change in locations she once again took her leave hearing Raven yell

"Tell her I say hi!"

As she entered the room on the 4th floor once more she noticed that Lexa had adjusted the hospital bed and she sat slightly up right drifting in and out of consciousness no doubt from the mental and physical exhaustion.

Clarke approached as quietly as she could but Lexa already knew she was there.

"Ah ah ah...right here Clarke.  You fit just right in this spot.  This is my good arm.  Come tuck yourself in right here."  Lexa instructed looking down to her left arm which was free of a sling or bandages.

Clarke's frustrated huff made Lexa smile softly.

"Come on, since when do I have to beg you to go to bed with me?" 

Clarke chuckled and rolled her eyes but otherwise gave no reply.  

Lexa watched quietly as Clarke began to undress in preperation for bed.  The slow descent of her ripped, well loved jeans revealed a pair of red boxers that seemed to be used more as pajama shorts than underwear.

"You came in your pjs?"  Lexa tried so hard to keep the soft affectionate tone out of her voice but it was no use.  Clarke was turning her into a gooey puddle.

"Hey, when my people are hurt I come running....its just how I operate.  Get used to it."  Clarke shrugged her shoulders but kept her eyes down cast as she neatly folded her jeans.

Lexa's soft adoring smile was her only reply.

When Clarke approached the bed Lexa could make out the font and pictures on the boxers and realized it was A CHRISTMAS STORY pair of boxers, no doubt a Christmas gift from someone.  Lexa chuckled softly but said nothing else.  Once the bed was readjusted to a flat position and Clarke was settled into the space that had been previously discussed, Lexa said one last thing before surrendering to her own exhaustion.

"Vintage Star Wars tee, Christmas Story boxers and a wealth of Harry Potter knowledge...when can we get married Clarke?"  Lexa's voice was light and Clarke found a smiling face softened by exhaustion and adoration to go with it when she looked up into those shimmering green eyes.

"Hmm..."  Clarke mused making a show of considering her options.

She began rubbing her face into the crook of Lexa's warm neck and inhaling a scent that immediately put her at ease.  

Clarke smiled softly into Lexa's neck because the feeling that was tingling throughout her entire body was something she had never felt and had no idea how to handle.

When she finally decided to answer Lexa's question, Clarke spoke right into the police officers neck.  

"I might THINK about CONSIDERING your marriage proposal when you get over your craving for deliberately seeking out the most adrenaline charged situations at work."

The wild irregular beating of their hearts in tandem when joking about a possible future of any kind together was telling and filled them both with an overwhelming warmth and excited buzz.

Clarke slid her body carefully until it was firmly up against Lexa's and then wrapped her left arm carefully around the injured party's midsection over the top of her bandaged arm.

Nothing else but a 'good night' was said between the two before they both finally succumbed to their exhaustion. 

Clarke never thought she'd sleep so comfortably in a hospital bed until she slept against the warm and slightly broken body of the woman she was fast becoming infatuated with.

 

                                                                                      ***

The next week went by as quickly as a routine week does when the routine is new.  Sticky at first but then easier as the days go by.

Clarke and Anya came to an agreement after a long tirade from Anya and an even longer tirade from Lexa about not wanting the young doctor to be inconvenienced in any way. 

Clarke would come in to check on Lexa in the mornings after her night shift ended. 

It turned out that sometimes Lexa was able to convince her to just stay with her, snuggled up into the left side of her body as she did that first night in the hospital.  When the weeks end came around, Clarke had only slept in her own bed once.

Anya would take over after work in the evenings and bring Matt along with her.  So far, Clarke and Anya hadn't run into each other again since that first night but when THursday rolled around, that changed.  

Anya let herself in with her spare key and found a very interesting sight waiting for her in her sister's kitchen.

Clarke stood in Lexa's kitchen swaying her hips slowly in a pair of Lexa's white tube socks, boxers and an old loose t shirt of her own, humming the melody to a song that Anya couldn't quite make out and cooking something that smelled absolutely delicious.

Anya was grateful she hadn't received a text to inform her that she need not check in on her sister on this particular afternoon.

The sight was endearing and comical and a tad bit revealing even with the oversized shirt loose enough to prevent the fabric from clinging to any of Clarke's curves and the boxers sitting low and lose enough to cover the necessaries.  There was still so much skin to look at.  Anya slightly prickled with embarrassment and shame as she averted her eyes smirking slightly.

Even so, all in all Anya was grateful to get a glimpse of the happiness she had seen in her sister, on Clarke as well.  And the stir fry smelled delicious.

Before Anya could interrupt Clarke's (now singing instead of humming) little impromptu concert, Matt moaned out a "Mmmmm..." causing Clarke to jump out of her skin and nearly out of Lexa's tube socks.

Both mother and son were now in stitches at the sight of an adorably startled Clarke.  Blonde hair wild and unkempt framing her shocked and reddened face and flowing over the tops of her shoulders and chest like a golden streams of water.  No makeup, pink lips and now a dusting of deep scarlet on her cheeks as she held a hand to her chest right over her wildly beating heart.

"Oh my GOD you two scared the life out of me!" she screeched breathing hard and bracing herself on Lexa's black granite countertop which had been shined so effectively it reflected the blonde's gorgeous face. 

Anya once again concluded that Clarke was positively stunning.  She smiled softly and then felt and heard her son's little stomach growl unusually loud for such a small boy.

Anya's eyes bugged comically as she turned to face her son.

"Well gosh Matty...you're tummy is very loud and disruptive today!  Did you eat lunch with Mr. Lincoln?  Did he try to make you eat plants again?"  Anya asked in a judgmental tone to convey her disappointment in her son's refusal to eat his food.  Anya also understood Matt's revulsion for his sitter's choices in overly healthy lunch dishes.  She wouldn't eat anything he cooked either.

The toddler was about to nod his head and then paused.  Then he turned his head to shake it from side to side but paused again.  The adorable look of confusion on his face was enough to make Clarke giggle from her position at the stove.  Matt turned and looked at her smiling shyly.

"Sorry, Matt has a tendency to find his sitter's lunch dishes revolting.  I don't blame him.  The guy is the sweetest and so so so good with kids but has no clue what they like to eat.  He smelled whatever you're making and just couldn't help himself.  Rude!  You scared Clarke, Matt.  What do you say?"

Matt looked a little sullen at the realization that he had done something bad.  "Sowwy."  He offered sounding like a human version of Winnie the Pooh's friend Eeyore.

"Oh...its ok handsome.  There's more than enough for everyone.  You're more than welcome."

"Oh no Clarke that's...no its ok.  That's very kind of you but I can just pick something up for us on the way home.  I think Lexa was otherwise distracted when she was supposed to text or call and let me know I didn't need to come by tonight.  Don't mind us."

"No seriously, Anya there really is enough for the four of us.  Its just veggie stir fry.  I tend to over do when I cook.  Its a habit I haven't been able to break yet.  I'm sure Lexa would love to visit with Matt.  She was talking about getting him started in teeball earlier and I could tell she wanted to talk to him about it."  Clarke said as she looked at Matt and smiled at him adoringly while she spoke as if she was talking to the boy instead of his mother.

"Is she...Lexa...is she indisposed or..."  Anya asked through a wry smile.  Clarke laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure it seems like that since I'm hardly wearing appropriate clothing but no.  At least not indisposed that way.  She's bathing...carefully I hope.  The stitches come out soon and she knows not to get them wet."

Anya nods her head.

"Let me just go check in on her and let her know that you two are here.  Have a seat.  Its not my place but I'm sure you know where everything is.  I'll be right back to serve the two of you...in more acceptable attire of course."  Clarke's smile was brilliant as she quickly walked to the master bath.

"Hey gorgeous...how are you doing in there?"  Clarke asked softly.

Lexa's bathroom was absolutely stuffed with candles.  Candles in every stage of life from brand new to almost burned out.  According to Lexa, her master bathroom was the only room she could light candles in safely since the cats were not allowed inside while she bathed so she took advantage of the time and space and lit as many as she could.

Clarke had initially found the sight of Lexa bathing this way just a tad bit extra if she hadn't been made to sit in the same bath soon after and found it actually WORKED.  Yes, even the candles helped her body heal and relax.

Clarke had been amazed when all of Lexa's claims about her bathing rituals had soothed the deepest aches in her body that she had never seemed to get rid of in the past through medicinal treatment or massage therapy.

The fresh lavender, jasmine, chamomile and marigold flowers that Lexa grew herself were carefully dried and ground down into a heavenly, healing bath tub brew.  Some times Lexa would add a pinch of Epsom salt but it wasn't a necessity. 

Even knowing this to be true, Clarke still relentlessly teased Lexa about how the sight of her in that antique claw foot bath tub looked like a well thought out and visually stunning set up for a photo shoot.  And as goreous a touch as the rose petals covering the surface of the water were, they served a distinct purpose as well.  According to Lexa, the scent from a pink rose is the strongest and sweetest of any rose and the smell helps to calm her senses so she tries to use them every time she bathes as long as she is able to produce them out of her rain garden.  

"Her RAIN GARDEN??  Oh God Clarke...that's just...Extra..."  Octavia had proclaimed during that ONE day earlier in the week when Clarke had reluctantly decided to actually show her face in her apartment right after checking in on Lexa because she couldn't avoid doing laundry for another day.

Clarke laughed along with her friend.

"No trust me...you may think the rain garden is extra but you should see how many candles this woman owns and how many she lights when she's bathing.  I mean...fire hazard is an understatement."  The two friends snicker.  Raven is uncharacteristically quiet.

"Her house is a gorgeous victorian style mini mansion.  Its so fucking charming though really.  I love it and it suits her.  Every room is like steam punk, industrial style decor and i don't even think she tried to decorate it that way.  She just puts little pieces of historic items out on shelves and books and vintage cameras and record players, typewriters with quotes typed out on sheets of paper.  She has a different type writer with a different quote for every room.  But I think the master is my favorite.  The room, the sky lights and the bathroom....its like half of it is every girls dream and the other half looks like an old timey apothecary.  Also something she didn't plan at all.  She claims it came that way and she just added to the stock of healing remedies and herbs from her own garden.  She only uses natural herbs she has grown in her own garden for food, bathing and sometimes just an all natural topical cream that she grinds and mixes herself."

"From her rain garden right?  That extra ass ho...geezzzz...."  Octavia laughs maniacally. She is interrupted rather brusquely by a wildly passionate Raven.

"A rain garden is actually very responsible and extremely important.  If I didn't live in an apartment I'd build one too.  Houston's city council found the idea of rain gardens covering large expanses of urban areas in the city ridiculous once too until Harvey literally flooded them out of house and home.  The proposed rezoning of the city to the outer prairie areas that house ultra-absorbant grasslands and wooded streams was scoffed at even though the conservation groups who pitched the idea were backed by research that was conducted by the areas most respected experts on local ecosystems and botonists.  Every Houstonian should invest in a rain garden.  Judging from the wide range of native plants she has planted, she is also helping to conserve endangered prairie wildlife and even some endangered plants.  We'd be able to actually save lives and prevent loss of property if everyone was as responsible and considerate as your girl."

Both Clarke and Octavia were stunned into silence by the sobering facts that their friend had just hit them with.  Also by the fact that their friend was always this giant endless pool of refreshing knowledge.  Clarke's admiration for Lexa only grew by the day....by the HOUR.

Clarke smiled wistfully biting her lip as she remembered the look on Lexa's face when they slowly walked side by side through the slightly down ward slope toward the lush garden in Lexa's back yard.  Lexa had specifically selected this spot in order to collect as much of the rain water run off as possible during the notorious torrential Houston rain seasons. 

Which, for Houston, pretty much means year round.  It was adorable and yes extra but Lexa's pension for creating and caring and providing and giving back turned Clarke on almost as much as the sight of her now laying in that bath tub looking like Texas Monthly's spring centerfold.  If Texas monthly had centerfolds that is.  

Bushes of White, yellow, pink and red roses vibrantly thriving and carefully maintained.  The peonies which Lexa claimed were the only flowers in her garden that are grown and preened and carefully managed specifically for her enjoyment and viewing pleasure only were placed a little higher on the up slope so as to avoid them accidently being OVER watered.  Several umbrellas were closed and on standby in case the peonies needed to be shaded on a particularly prickling hot day.  Which meant anything over 85 degrees.

"Peonies can be fickle."  Lexa explained.  "Just like any gorgeous and complicated lady.  Fickle, frustrating, stubborn and soooo worth the trouble."  Lexa mused smiling softly and looking over at Clarke.

The bluebonnets had taken over the entire expanse of Lexa's backyard and seemed to have bloomed over night.  Clarke had walked out to the garden with Lexa one morning and there they were, softly rolling in the gentle breeze like a gorgeous clear water ocean.  Clarke had felt like she might just cry out of absolute joy.  

Clarke had never seen the wild flower bloom anywhere other than open fields, open meadows or in the medians splitting every north and south bound lane of every major interstate from Amarillo, Tx down to Corpus Christi, Tx.  Lexa's smile was brilliant as she explained the way she ended up with a backyard nearly full of the gorgeous blue blooms. 

"The bluebonnet is a wild flower so there's not much to say about how I planted them.  There is no method to this madness.  You toss the seeds out and the Texas rain and sun do the rest.  Seriously.  My grandmother taught me that.  What ever green thumb I have I got it from her.  But of course you'd like the only wild flower in my backyard."  Lexa had commented chuckling and looking at Clarke like she was the sun that gave life and the water that replenished it.

And yet, every time Clarke took a walk outside with her love interest and listened as she showered love on every single gorgeous bloom in their different stages from bud to full bloom, Lexa's graceful neck and regal posture and stunning features bordering on the brink of perfection put the flowers to shame.  And even as she saw her now, caramel skin contrasted against the flickering candle light and pink hue of the floating petals, Lexa's full blushing pink lips put the rose petals to shame as well. 

Clarke swallowed thickly at the expanse of leg and arm and chest and collarbones connected to the graceful, muscular elongated neck she could see peeking out above the surface of the water.  Lexa's eyes were closed until she heard Clarke speak and then her eyelids fluttered to bring Clarke into focus before settling at half mast as Lexa took her own sweet time to take in the state of Clarke's lack of clothing and gorgeous pale stems below the tee her shapely body was hiding under.

"I'm done beautiful.  Just soaking in the lavender and letting the salt do its job for a little longer before I get out.  Something smells great though.  Other than the bath of course."

"Oh...the stir fry?  That's ready for consumption.  What's not ready or rather who, was me, for any kind of company especially your sister and your infant nephew seeing me...well in this!"  Clarke motioned wildly at her own body with her hands.

Lexa's eyes widened slightly and then she laughed lazily in her completely relaxed state. 

"I'm so sorry...really I completely forgot to text her.  Have I told you how wonderfully distracting you are?  Honestly, no one in their right mind would blame me for forgetting."  Lexa admitted biting her bottom lip as she thought about how Clarke's body looked the night they shared together. 

Writhing and undulating in rhythm with her strokes.  What she wouldn't give to just say FUCK IT and well...fuck Clarke.

For 5 whole days they had shared space and food and favorite movies.  They had shared clothing and stories of their childhoods and a few charged moments in which they had almost given in to their need for one another that they very nearly came to sharing a kiss. They shared longing looks and long comfortable silence.  They had molded into each other's lives and into each other's bodies as Clarke spent hours asleep after her chaotic night shifts in the arms of a doting Lexa.  They had shared the joys and yes even the misery of cohabitation without officially cohabitating.  And they DID NOT ONCE have sex.

Looking over at Clarke, Lexa could feel the warm water lightly caress the space around her slightly engorged clit as she shivered and squirmed just at the sight of her.... friend? Lover? Girlfriend? Acquaintance?  ......Doctor?

The week had been rough.  Lexa had lost count of the times she had fapped to the memory of Clarke's naked body and scintillating groans.  She'd caused herself to reach climax so excessively over the last few days that she had made herself uncomfortably sore.  The desperation of her movements and the frantic nature of her libido resulted in over enthusiastic and over zealous friction that left behind raw and sensitive flesh that even after coming, never seemed to reach the right level of satisfaction.

Clarke wasn't fairing any better.  She had spent the week taking frequent bathroom breaks, break room breaks, 'let me go get my charger from my car' breaks just to frantically rub out quickies that just left her throbbing until she was able to leave her work place where she'd lay star fished on any surface in Lexa's home or her own bedroom in her apartment, fingering her battered sex and thrusting her hips in the air moaning loudly into another intense orgasm. This was only if she was sure no one was near by that could over hear her enthusiastic activities.  When she had to keep quiet, she switched positions and rode her fingers vigorously until she screamed her release into a pillow.  She'd been walking funny the whole week.

And even if they both wanted the other so bad they could literally taste it in their severe thirst for the other, they were grateful for the time they had together.  They both felt safe and content with the bond they were building and the connection they were achieving by taking the physical part of intimacy out of the equation...for now.

Lexa sighed softly as she did often now when looking at the target of her affection.  She smiled at the smile directed at her from the door way.

"I'll be out in a second.  Go ahead and start without me."  She softly instructed. 

Clarke took a lingering, longing look at Lexa from the tips of her thick gorgeous hair to the tips of her toes that protruded from the water's surface just enough to show that they were well maintained but not painted.  Clarke bit her lip and sighed as she reluctantly tore her eyes away from the glorious sight.

Clarke found sweat pants and made her way back out to the dining room where Anya and Matt were already seated.

"Oh well you two are all ready to go.  Hello Matt, I'm Clarke.  I'm your Aunt Lexa's friend."  Clarke said kneeling down in front of the little man seated in a booster seat that was always set aside for him in Lexa's pantry for when he visited.

"That's Hedee's friend baby.  Say hi."  Anya promted from her seat smiling softly at her son.

Matt's vibrant green eyes and gorgeous chocolate locks made him a dead ringer for Lexa and Clarke's heart did a somersault imagining that Matt was a good example of how Lexa's offspring would probably look.

The toddler ducked his little head with a quiet shyness and a small embarassed smile.

"Hi Lorke."  He mumbled and then giggled when Clarke barked laughter at the pronunciation of her name.

"Well that's definately a new one but Lorke it is!" Clarke said full out laughing and smiling so wide she felt her face might split.

"Anya...he, he's  _gorgeous."_ Clarke proclaimed almost wistfully.  

Anya smiled, pride filling her chest and her stomach when she saw the shining adoration fill Clarke's features.

"He looks just like her I know.  Everytime they hang out together in public people think he belongs to her."  Anya chuckles.  Clarke bites her lip still smiling that shining smile.

"I bet they do."  But Clarke had so much more to say.  

A lump suddenly appeared in her throat when she had to hold back from saying that Anya had her mother's eyes.

She wanted to say that the pictures of their parents she had seen on Lexa's mantle over her fire place were so breath taking that her heart ached just thinking about it.  How their mother was a vision and their father was so damn stunning that she still hadn't decided which one of their parents had been the most beautiful.

Clarke knew that Lexa and Anya's parents were dead.  She had learned as much by listening to the way Lexa avoided re telling the story.  She saw the pain in Lexa's eyes when references either of them as she shared stories about her child hood.  She just had no idea how or when it happened.

 

But instead, she kept quiet and played a good co host.

"I'll get you two set up with a plate.  I'll just be a second.  What are we drinking?  I think Lex has some..."

"Juice!"  Matt bellowed with glee throwing his little fists in the air knowing that his aunt always had juice on standby just for him.  Anya rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Spoiled kid.  You're aunt has spoiled you since the moment she first held you in her arms." 

Clarke's imagination conjures up the image of Lexa holding a tiny bundled infant in her arms and the vivid image has her heart clenching in her chest.  Clarke has concluded that she may not survive the night without totally dissipating into a puddle of useless gay goo.

"Hedees...hedees...police!  Hedees boom boom!"  Matt bellowed happily clapping his hands.

Clarke is just setting the plates down in front of the two dinner guests and she is slightly puzzled but genuinely enchanted by the toddler.

"Excuse him.  He's just trying to tell you that his aunt is a cop.  The whole boom boom thing is something he must have picked up from the tv when he was with his sitter.  I try to be real careful around him but its not easy."

Clarke looked back and forth between the two and then pensively bit her lip.  "How old is he..."  Clarke asked timidly not knowing if her question and the underlying meaning behind it would offend Anya.

"He's three...little bit of a late bloomer.  Kids his age are usually speaking way sooner than that but he takes after his aunt.  Lexa was the same way.  Actually, when she started to speak she began speaking in full sentences.  I always told her she was just a dud.  You know, as an older sister I had to tease her a little.  Its part of my job."  Both women laughed at this.  

Clarke being an only child had no personal experience of course but she grew up with Octavia in her life and Bellamy, Octavia's big brother, covered the big brother teasing for the both of them.  Of course that was until Clarke hit puberty.  Bellamy's teasing changed drastically after that.

"But our parents....well they saw it differently of course.  As only parents can see their children I suppose.  I didn't get it then but I do now."  Anya said wistfully and sadly gazing at her son who had begun playing with the small buckle on his booster seat.

"My parents said Lexa wasn't speaking yet because she was born with the spirit of a leader and she was gathering her very important thoughts and conclusions so that she could express herself the right way when she finally began speaking.  They always stressed the importance of leadership and what the traits of a good leader are.  Confidence and moving speeches are only half the battle."

Anya smiled softly reminiscing.

"Anyway, they didn't think Lexa had the spirit of just ANY leader.  They declared that Lexa was serving as some sort of human vessel for the spirit of a legendary leader who has existed in our blood line in every century since the dawn of time and will continue to exist in the future through reincarnation.  There's something rare about Lexa's blood.  Something extraordinary."

"That's....that's such a beautiful concept..."  Clarke mused quietly.  "And really deep."

Anya nodded quietly.  "My parents had a flair for the dramatic.  I still say she was just a dud..."  Anya quipped shrugging her shoulders and laughing.  Clarke shook her head and rolled her eyes as she softly smirked.

Matt looked at his mother with a tiny furrowed brow and then began to laugh himself even if he had no idea why his mother was laughing. 

"Mommy funny Lorke!"  Matt screeched gleefully grabbing Clarke's nearest hand and tugging it to encourage her to join in the laughter.  Clarke found the small child so endearing that she couldn't keep from laughing along with him.

"You are too cute little guy."  Clarke gushed.

"Well I must have missed something funny!  What is everyone laughing at in here?"

"You're inability to function like a real human woman because your gayness has clouded your brain activity and turned you into a gay mess!"  Anya responded almost immediately sounding as if she had that response ready since the day she was brought screaming into the world.

Clarke broke out in genuine laughter at this and Matt laughed along squealing with glee as the laugh fest continued. 

"Not gonna argue that observation.  I'm just gonna own it.  Big gay mess."  Lexa admitted. 

THe laughter continued throughout their impromtu dinner and Anya closely watched the interaction between her kid sister and the blonde doctor.  It was no secret that the two were completely smitten with each other.  They moved around each other, complimenting one another, moving about the dining table and the kitchen with ease like a well rehearsed dance that required no rehearsal. 

"Have you shown Clarke the princess yet?"  Anya asked Lexa as she began to put Matt's shoes and socks back on his feet after the toddler insisted on taking them off when he and his aunt got into a very competitive game of hide and seek.

"Who is the princess?  Do you have a damsel in distress locked in a hide away somewhere under your house Lexa?"

"No, no Clarke.  The only princess I'd want around is YOU."

Clarke chuckled and reached out to run her hand down Lexa's forearm.  "Is this your way of hinting that you're into role play Lexa?  I don't think I'd be opposed to dressing up for you.  I play a VERY convincing damsel in distress"  The two women stared at each other, intensity crackling in the air around them.

"Ahem...keep it in your pants you two.  Very impressionable toddler in very close proximity."  Anya warned slugging Lexa playfully on her good arm hard enough to make a solid smacking noise.  If it stung, Lexa showed no reaction at all.

"The answer to your question is no by the way."  Lexa finally answered after reluctantly breaking out of the little trance that Clarke had invited her into.

"And its too late to get into any of that tonight.  Just know that the princess is a truck that started out as a project that my Dad and I worked on together and  now...well its my princess.  I was waiting for the right moment to show it to you.  Meaning, when I'm at 100% again.  One more week!"

"Speaking of, is this arrangement changing next week?  Just asking so that I can plan ahead."  Anya asked as she pulled Matt off the couch and set him on his little feet.

"Yes..."  Lexa began before Clarke quickly cut her off.

"NO.  The schedule stays the same.  I come here in the mornings after my night shift ends and Anya takes the afternoons.  You don't need a set back right now Lexa.  I don't care how you've done things in the past.  You won't be able to get away with doing the same things this time.  Not under my care."

"Oooohhh Heda looks like you have no choice.  Reduced to a slack jawed gay disaster....what would your fandom think of this new development?  Put in your place by..."

"THANK YOU FOR COMING OVER ANYA!  I'll see you later!"  Lexa half shouts as she puts her hand over Anya's mouth and gently pushes her towards the front door.

"Come ere lil Matty!  Be good for Mom ok?  I love you stinky."  Lexa coos dusting the toddlers face with dozens of kisses.

When Lexa's guests clear out and the dishes have been washed and put away they retire to the couch and begin the long process of deciding what to watch on Netflix.

"But Lex, I don't want to be sad.  I know its a good documentary and trust me I'm more than informed, but all I'm gonna want to do after watching it is take a middle of the night road trip to San Antonio and free every captive creature in SeaWorld!"

"Who says we can't do that?"  Lexa asked with a straight face.

"The law Lexa.  You know that little thing that you have to uphold and enforce?"

"Hmm, oh you're right...still would be nice to just say FUCK Seaworld and cut them all lose huh?" Lexa mused with a sigh.

"Yes, that would be amazing..."  Clarke agreed.

"Ok then, House of Cards?"  Lexa offered.

"Oh My God Robin Wright is my prepubescent wet dream!"  Clarke moans prompting an adorable giggle from Lexa.  Clarke feels her heart flutter at the sound.

"PPfff prepubescent?  She was the subject of my wet dream just last week!"  Lexa admits and this time its Clarke's turn to giggle. 

Lexa stares at pink lips gently curled back into a smile and she almost loses herself when she feels her body inching forward almost as if her muscles have already grown accustomed to the movement.  She concludes, as she has to aggressively lock her muscle movement down to a screeching halt, that her body would always naturally respond to Clarke this way even if they've only kissed a hand full of times.

That fact was deeper than physical.  Almost as if their souls were meant to repeat this intimate act only with each other for centuries to come and in centuries long forgotten.

Lexa clears her throat and turns to her flat screen to make the selection.

 

***

"When you decided to ask your ex to marry you....did you ever have any doubts?"  Clarke asked suddenly in the middle of a scene where the two main characters (husband and wife) were initiating a sexual trist with another man.

Lexa laughed a little and then paused the episode.

"This scene made you think of that?"  Lexa asked laughing a little harder.

Clarke laughed as well but then grew rather serious. 

"No I....not really....I guess I kind of spaced out.  I...I pretty much wanted to ask you that from the moment you told me you used to be engaged to someone.  I mean, she was extremely important to you.  She seemed to be a huge part of your life and now...what?  No contact at all?  No friendship?  No regrets or 'what ifs'?"

Lexa quietly pondered the question for a while and then deposited the remote on the coffee table so she could square her shoulders toward Clarke and give the conversation her full attention.

Clarke reached over tentitavely hovering over Lexa's hands until the police officer reached up and intwined their fingers together.

"You're right, Costia WAS a huge part of my life...the key word being WAS.  I guess we couldn've remained friends after I was able to put it behind me but a friendship usually thrives off mutual trust and understanding and patience.  I felt then and still feel now that she deserves none of those things from me and I don't require any of those things from her so its really for the best."  Clarke tried to ignore the overhwhelming relief she felt at those words.  But she couldn't ignore it.  Nor did she feel great about feeling anything but sadness for her love in this moment.  There was so much she had to endure in her life and the last thing she deserved was to be screwed over by a woman she was willing and ready to pledge her life to.

"Besides, you don't exactly know the whole story yet."  Lexa said looking up at the ceiling with an odd little smile quirking at the corners of her gorgeous mouth.  The expression on Lexa's face was a peculiary mixture of exasperation and awkwardness.

And just like that, Clarke's good feelings went from soaring on cloud nine to shattering on the ground in one fell swoop.

"I don't think they meant for this to happen, my ex and my ex friend, but it did anyway.  He got her pregnant.  And just like that, even though I don't want to be with her or even see a future with her anymore, he still got everything I ever wanted.  A child with the woman I was supposed to marry.  Its such a crazy feeling to know that I had planned my life with her having my children and then I find out she's gonna have his kid.  DID have his kid.  Now he has two kids with his EX wife and one baby mama with one little boy just a year younger than Matt."  Lexa sighed and smiled softly.  

Clarke was in shock.  Her heart ached and clenched and stuttered.

_How much more will this wonderiful precious creature have to endure and suffer before she never has to suffer again?_

"Lexa...I....babe I'm so sorry that you had to get involved with such a fucking ....cunt...I...."  Clarke was at a loss for any kind of encouraging words.  Words seemed to elude her in this moment until she was just a stuttering frustrated wreck.

"Clarke...baby...hey...don't even worry about it.  It took me so long to let it go.  Mostly because I blamed myself and thought something was wrong with me.  Once I realized it had nothing to do with me it was fine.  Its just funny how things turn out huh?  As for doubts...back then I would've denied ever having the slightest hint of a doubt about marrying her.  I mean, I bought her a gawdy grotesque monstrousity of a ring and that should've been a sign in itself but I can't deny that there was also always something there.  Deep inside kind of weighing me down."

Lexa caressed Clarke's hands with both of her thumbs as she spoke.  Clarke felt like someone was rubbing the tip of a live wire on the surface of her skin.

"I..l don't quite understand why a huge rock would indictate something negative...."  Clarke questioned clearly confused.

"My mom left Anya her matching earing and necklace set in her will.  But me...I got the set of engagement and wedding rings that my dad spent a quarter of his life working and paying for."  Lexa smiled softly.  The smile was both sad and sweet.

"Fuck...They were so in love."  Lexa sighed chuckling a little.  Clarke smiled back.  Her insides gurgling at the adorable look on Lexa's face.

"I don't think I ever saw them yell at each other once.  Sure they'd get real frustrated sometimes but they always ended up laughing or stealing kisses after figuring out their little disagreement.  It was pretty gross at the time and me and Anya never let them have a loving moment without embarrassing them but now I think of those times and it just makes my heart ache."

Lexa paused looking up to the ceiling as she took a deep breath.  She didn't feel like crying...yet, but she did feel her heart begin to stir in that desperate kind of way when she begins to feel so empty and alone at the memory of that gun taking away the two people she loved the most from the world forever.

"My therapist told me I may have even rushed into an engagement because I dreamed of a love as immense as they had for each other.  Seems I was expecting way too much.  I was trying to force what I had with Costia into a similar type of union.  Truth is, Costia was never going to be that.  Not that this is the only important element to building a long standing healthy relationship but, Costia was NEVER an affectionate person.  Never wanted me holding her hand or spooning her or even really kissing her unless she was looking for me to fuck her."  Lexa grumbled rolling her eyes and then laughing.

"Boy what a winner I picked back then huh?  I don't think that exists anyway.  A love like my parents had.  Even if Costia was clearly the wrong one for me.  I think their love was one of a kind.  Almost like a really nice legend that's based in truth but the rest is filled in with folklore."

Clarke listened with rapt interest, watching Lexa's expressions change.

She saw fear and sadness and uncertainty but she also saw something warm and steady and true.

 

"After the whole Costia nightmare, I told myself that I'd never try again.  Marriage.  Not really because I wouldn't like to be married...I think its more about knowing that what Im looking for is nearly impossible to find if at all."  Lexa bit her lip looking down at her lap to gather her words.

"How can I explain it."  She said softly talking to herself.  She looked up and locked eyes with Clarke before continuing.

"My wife should be the one I hold above all else.  Let me rephrase that.  My wife WILL BE the one that I will pledge fealty to and if I had found that woman in Costia, my natural reaction should have been to place my mother's ring on her finger.  That should answer your question about regrets and what ifs right?  I can't marry someone that was never meant to spend eternity holding my hand, with those wedding bands entwined between my fingers, around her finger."  Lexa looked down at their joined hands and bit her lip.  She tightened her grip slightly and felt Clarke reciprocate.  Then she looked back up into Clarke's shining blue eyes once more.

"Its like a perfect interconnected life line that inevitably finds it way back to the very beginning.  The ring from my father's hand to my mother's finger to my hand, to my wife's finger...forever.  It just makes sense."

Clarke reached up then and caressed Lexa's jawline lovingly.  The emotions coursing through her body were almost too much for her to handle.  The urge to surge forward and kiss Lexa was overwhelming. 

Lexa leaned in to Clarke's hand closing her eyes.  She moved to lay her head on Clarke's lap and once she was settled there she asked,

"Tell me about your parents.  What are they like?"  Lexa asked in a soft, relaxed voice as Clarke stroked her hair.

"Oh God, my dad is like the biggest geek on the planet.  He is so embarrassing.  I think he tries to act extra goofy on purpose when any of my friends are around just to make them laugh."  Lexa smiled but remained silent.

"He calls me his princess....STILL."  Clarke laughs and soon Lexa is laughing as well.

"I don't see a problem with that.  Its really cute."  Lexa admitted turning her face into Clarke's lap and inhaling her scent.

"Of course you'd say that.  You've been calling me that as a joke since the first night we met!"  Clarke teased.

"That was Gustus...not me.  Although I wish I could take credit for it.  Pretty unique if you ask me.  'Sky Princess.'"  She stated rolling the nickname around in her brain.

"Yea, I like it."  Lexa concluded.

"Well, I never liked the sound of it.  Well unless it was my dad saying it.  From anyone else it just always made me feel like it was synonymous with high maintenance, privileged or weak."

"I get it."  Lexa said.  "But don't ever feel like I'm teasing you when I call you any kind of nick name.  Nick names are intimate.  Sometimes I feel like they might be even more intimate than a kiss.  Like an inside joke or anecdote or even a catch phrase that only you and those....your loved ones know about."  Lexa hesitated afraid she might blurt something out that she was no where near ready to reveal.  She only hesitated a moment longer before continuing to explain.  She was suddenely extremely grateful that Clarke couldn't see her face.

"That can be way more intimate than a kiss.  Like...'Go, then, there are other worlds than these' or 'Everything he was and everything he had come for, it seemed, was secondary to her' or 'Long days and pleasant nights' or even, 'We are Ka-tet.  One from many.  If one should fall, that one will not be lost for we are one and will not forget even in death.'"  Lexa's breath caught in her throat as she rattled on to the end of the last quote she recited.  

Those quotes had all been engrained so deeply within her heart that she spoke them more with her soul than her mouth.

Clarke was astonished at the perfect recitation of these quotes she had never heard and didn't quite understand.  More so, she was taken aback by the way they seemed to transform Lexa into some form of alien being as if her soul really WAS as ancient as Anya told her their parents believed it was.

"What's...Ka-tet?"  Clarke quitely quieried. 

"Ka means destiny, or fate or inevitability.  Tet means a group of people that consider themselves family.  And this kind of family doesn't always have to be blood relatives.  Sometimes, your friends become your family and your bond is so deep it goes beyond a blood bond.  We...my family...that's what we were.  That's what we always said we were.  Still are...if you truly believe those words.  My parents fell but they aren't lost of course.  And that solidifies what I told you before.  I realized Costia wasn't right too late but at least I found out.  When I think of the meaning of Ka-tet it just confirms what I concluded.  Costia would've become ka-tet when she married me but she's an imposter.  Ka brought her to me to open my eyes not to bless me with a life long union."

Clarke stroked Lexa's hair and tried to process all the beautiful and deep and sad revelations that Lexa was dropping on her.

"Stephen King by the way....Stephen King wrote about Ka and ka-tet in his Dark tower series.  My dad was a huge fan and taught Anya and I the importance of that one 7 book series.  He left me those as well.  His enormous collection of Stephen King novels.  I know its corny but the man is a poet.  That series is full of philosophical beauty and meaningful poetry."  Lexa stated with conviction.

"Never would've guessed any of that would have anything to do with Stephen King even though I have to admit that I am somewhat a fan of his work.  Just the really well known shit like what's in movies.  I know now that I've been missing out."  Clarke admitted.

Lexa chuckled.  "You have indeed been missing out but I'll remedy that if you want me to.  I can bring you up to speed."  Lexa offered.

"Ok, that sounds amazing."  Clarke said genuinely elated.

"Ok, good.  Now that that's settled, tell me what your mom is like.  Is she as hot as you?"  Lexa suddenely asked causing Clarke to guffaw.  Lexa laughed right along with her.

"Oh my God don't tell me you've been after my mother this whole time.  You really DIDN'T have to work your way through me first just to get to her you know.  A simple request for an introduction would have sufficed."  Clarke teased rolling her eyes.

"Yes my mom is hot."  Clarke reached for her phone to find the latest picture they had taken together.

"More importantly, she is a gifted surgeon.  Like something otherworldly.  She has done things that have been regaurded as real life miracles.  She says its just a gift that she was fortunate enough to recieve from birth and the only way she can thank God for giving it to her is by sharing it and doing everything she can to perserve life."

"She really says that?"  Lexa asked sitting up and waiting for Clarke's reply.  Clarke handed her phone over with the picture before she answered.

"She says that ALL THE DAMN TIME."  Clarke confirmed chuckling softly.

"I think I AM in love with your mother.  That's honorble and kind and a beautiful concept to live by."  Lexa mused softly as she studied the picture.

"She's beautiful."  Lexa stated quietly as she handed the phone back.

Clarke smiled softly.  "Thanks.  I think maybe I should've never talked to you about my mother.  If there was ever a chance that you and I would have something more than a freindship after the trial, she is going to ruin it with her winning smile and talented hands."  Clarke joked.

Lexa's expression turned from a smile to a serious far off state of pondering.

"What?"  Clarke asked.

"Nothing just trying to figure out a way to get you to introduce us without sounding so eager."  

Clarke's guffaw turned into a silent bout of laughter and then Lexa was laughing just as hard right along with her.

 

                                      ***

 

"Gus, you know I'll be back at work soon and you can annoy me there right?  No need to stalk me on your days off." 

Lexa gritted through another rep.  She absolutely HATED physical therapy.  She normally would try to get away with bypassing that step to recovery but with Clarke at the helm of every step of her plan, she had no choice.

"Eh you know I love spending time with you on my days off Heda.  Besides, its very satisfying to watch you do something you absolutely hate just because your girlfriend insisted that you do it...or else...."  Gus laughed hard rubbing his hands together. 

"What's on the other side of that 'or else' anyway?"  He inquired making his big bushy eyebrows dance a jig.

Lexa grunted out her last rep and paused a while to catch her breath.

"She's not my girlfriend Gustus.  You already know this.  And I'm not afraid of anyone that gives me a weak little 'or else' type of threat."  Lexa insured puffing her chest out to show her self confidence.

"Don't let the doc hear you say that."  Came a teasing voice from behind Lexa.  Her young and energetic PT had over heard their conversation and Gus laughed even harder as he watched Lexa's cheeks turn pink.

"You fucking giant.  Get all your laughs out now when I'm incapacitated.  Enjoy it while it lasts."  Lexa grumbled.  "Am I done?"  She asked in a clipped tone of voice that her PT Emori had grown accustomed to over the past week.

The young athletic woman walked around to face Lexa before she answered her question.

"As long as you make sure you have your paperwork done and you sign out then yes, you're done.  See you in a couple of days.  Tell Clarkie I say hi!"  Emori said cheerfully as she sent a little wave toward the two cops and bounded off to help another patient finish out his reps.

"Son of a...I can't escape...I mean its like she has spies all over the damned place Gus!  If I go within a hundred feet of any type of medical facility I'm under surveillance!"

Gus smiled and nodded his head in satisfaction.  "Good, I'm glad you found your match now let me help you out of here."  He said standing practically lifting Lexa's body off the ground.

"You asshole.  That's not helping that's just carrying." 

"I'm just trying to get this over with.  All those bone bruises on your knees and ankles and hips are no joke.  They make you slower than a damn zombie."  He teased.

"I could never be a zombie."  Lexa grunted.  "I would starve trying to only eat women."  Lexa says matter of factly and hisses as Gus sets her down to help her get seated in the passenger seat of his lifted Dodge Ram.

Gus laughs hard even though he's out of breath and then makes his way around the back of the truck to get behind the wheel.

"You know, just because she isn't your girlfriend doesn't mean she can't be or that you don't want her to be."

Lexa's stomach tightens as she tries to maintain her facial features and keep her expression neutral.  Even so, her chest is filling with a warmth she has never felt before.  Just the thought or possibility of being in a full fledged relationship with Clarke is making her feel so giddy with excitement that she has to turn away and look out the window to hide her soft smile and pink cheeks.

Gus was able to catch a glimpse of the red tips of his friends ears and even if he hadn't, he could feel the happiness radiating in the cab of the truck.  He kept it to himself.  He loved to tease his friend but he didn't want to push too far. 

His Heda Lexa deserves better than the dirty shit that was done to her in the past.

                                          ***

"Thanks for calling me back promptly Sergeant.  I really needed to speak with you to set up at least one meeting with you and our legal team.  I understand you were injured recently saving the lives of a family that runs a local convenience store?"

"Yes, I was but the injuries were not serious and I will be back on a light duty status starting next week.  It shouldn't interfere with my testimony."

"I understand.  Even if it did, we would definitely work around your recovery Sgt.  Your health is what's most important and you're not the only witness we are going to call."

"Ok well since I'll be free next week, when can we get together?"

"Can I ask you a question first before we set it up?"

Lexa rolled her eyes and her heart began to quicken in her chest.

"Depends on the question counselor."  She bit.

"I just want to make sure we know everything so that Pike won't try to pull a surprise attack on us even though I know you're more than capable of handling him."

"What is your question counselor."  _Issue the challenge and get it over with_ Lexa thought.

"What is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Camacho's doctor....Clarke Griffin?"

"Not that it should be anybody's business but we are friends.  We understand the conflict of interest and we are both professionals."  Lexa answered evenly and quickly having already gone through this scenario over and over again in her head.

"Seems like you were quite ready for that question."  he chuckled.  "Looks like Pike is going to have his hands full.  That's great but I am only breaching the subject a tiny bit Sgt.  He will dig a lot deeper than I will.  Have you and the doctor ever had more than a friendship in the past?"

"Look counselor, I don't think this is appropria..."

"He won't care what's appropriate Lexa.  I am trying to prepare you for the worst case scenario and Pike is a freight train full of them.  Jaha will object and he will fight like hell on your behalf.  He went over your service record and I gotta tell you, he has never been more impressed with anyone as much as he is with you.  He will call attention to the fact that you are not on trial and that you have an impeccable service record.  I just want to be sure you're ready and also that we know all the skeletons that might be hiding in your closet before you're sworn in."

"We had....we had one night together and that's it....we....decided we have to take a step back and build something deeper than a one night affair before we take it any further.  We also discussed the importance of avoiding a conflict of interest as I stated before.  Since then we have spent time together but it has been totally and completely platonic.  She's helping me recover which, I hate to admit, I need since I only have my sister and I don't want anyone from work pestering me in my own home."  Lexa admitted rather regretfully.

She heard the young lawyer bark laughter on the other end of the line and scoffed a little.

"Are you done with the 20 questions man?  I got cats to feed and a bath to soak in.  When do we meet up?"

                    ***

Lexa lie awake on her good side watching the rise and fall of Clarke's chest.  She knew she was falling in love with her and there was nothing she could do to stop it anymore.  It both terrified her and made her more hopeful than she had ever felt in her life.  At least since before her parents were killed.

She even noticed how the need to want to ravage Clarke every time she saw her was still strong but she was grateful rather than frustrated when they spent time together.

"God what a fucking marshmallow I'm turning into."  She sighed whispering to herself. 

She careful rolled toward the edge of the bed and slowly sat up feeling her body protest loudly with reverrabiting waves of pain.  She sat taking deep breaths until the pain subsided enough for her to stand.

Once she began to take a few steps toward the door she began to feel that nagging feeling that someone was watching her.  She turned to look at the sleeping figure in her bed and the sight nearly made her fall backward in surprise.

Her large, fluffy Maine Coon had curled up right at the curve of Clarkes lower back.  Pepper Potts' flashing green eyes peered at her curiously over the top of Clarke's hip.

"What.  the.  FUCK."  Lexa whispered.  She didn't know whether to feel jealous or elated when noticing how enamored her cat had become with her current bed mate.

"Well fuck me.  You're a little fucking trader.  Took you a while but you joined your sister on the dark side.  You're not allowed to fall in love with her.  She doesn't belong to you."  The look Pepper Potts was giving her seemed to say:

_She doesn't belong to you either mama._

"Oh fuck off you little shit."  Lexa whispered and watched as the fluffy feline yawned and settled once more into a neat little ball of warm furr and loud purrs.

Lexa rolled her eyes and slowly ambled out of the room quietly closing the door behind her.  Piper sat right outside the door like a perfect little statue and waiting to have her mamas full attention.

Once she did she looked up at her at gave her a quiet rusty little meow as she got up and walked to the door Lexa had just closed.  Lexa bent down to pet her and shushed her quietly.

"Gotta keep it down there Pipes.  We have a sleeping guest in that room."  Piper very uncharacteristically ignored Lexa's affectionate petting and rubbed her body against the door.  Lexa rolled her eyes.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me....you want in too?  You want to join the pajama party in there?"  Lexa asked quietly throwing her arms out to the side in disbelief.

Piper rubbed the other side of her body on the door and meowed again a little louder.

"I mean it Piper, quiet down before you wake her up."  Lexa warned in a stern voice.  

She had locked the small pet door the night before assuming that both of the cats were out of her room.  She knew Piper wanted her to unlock it now so she could go in and cuddle too.  

The eagerness and affection toward Clarke that her cats were displaying caused a tugging feeling in her stomach so strong that she had to place a hand on the door frame to brace herself.  Her knees felt weak and her palms sweaty.  

_I'm in love with her...we all are....fuck...._

Her cats had been very leery of ANYONE and they absolutely HATED Costia.  Her cats were very observant and picked up on unspoken emotions.  They knew Costia wasn't good for her way before she showed her true colors. 

They had always given Costia a wide berth.  They had never even allowed her to pet them or get near them and once when she tried to pet Piper's head when Piper was distracted, the feline bat her hand away quick as lightening. 

Lexa had to bite her tongue hard not to laugh.  Not because she had liked the fact that Piper was never going to like her fiancé, that idea had always been a source of stress and even arguments between them.  But because it had looked so funny with Piper's lightening quick reaction.  Her paw was a white blur.

And now both of her cats not only loved Clarke but were starting to show Lexa that they preferred sleeping with their house guest instead of her.

Just then, Piper stood on her hind legs and reached the latch on the door pulling it down and successfully opening it.  It seems she had grown impatient with her mama.

"What the fuck you little turd!"  Lexa exclaimed in a whisper shout.  She forgot about how much her body was hurting and jolted forward to prevent the door from swinging open and slamming against the wall.

Piper quickly disappeared as is her nature when she knows she's in trouble and Lexa clutched the latch gritting and wincing against the excrutiating pain in her body from moving too quickly.

"Fucking assholes."  She gritted out quietly to herself as she stood there still clutching the door and waiting for the pain to fizzle down to manageable so she could move again.

"Baby?" 

Eyes closed, teeth gritted in a grimace, that sleep slurred questioning voice caused her to smile.  She had zero control over her body around this woman.  Voice rough with sleep and so so sweet Lexa completely forgot that pain even existed. 

And FUCK did she absolutely LOVE when Clarke called her baby.

"Go back to sleep gorgeous.  Just dealing with dee and dum there.  If they bother you just shove them off the bed."  She instructs in a quiet voice as if there was someone else in the house that was still sleeping.

She watched Clarke squint her eyes adorably trying to bring her into focus.  The young doctor smiled softly at the mention of the cats.

"How dare you mama!"  Clarke exclaimed stretching her body deliciously and grunting softly.  "I could never push my girls off the bed!"  She dramatically stated.  She shifted to lay flat on her back slinging one arm around Pepper Potts and putting her hand out to wait for Piper to meet her soft warm fingers for a 'good morning' scruff behind the ears and at the base of her tail.

Clarke had adapted these small behaviors with the two felines totally on her own.  She communicated with them and won them over in just one week and by the middle of the second they had traded Lexa in for the softer, lesser stern Clarke.

"Jesus Christ, they have no shame.  Just up and left me.  Ok turds.  See if I feed you later today.  Traders."  Lexa grumbled grumpily and then closed the door on Clarke's adorable giggle.

                       ***

"You can't....you just can't recuse yourself Lexa.  First of all its not possible since you weren't directly involved with investigating the case against Murphy.  Plus, I mean without you it would be extremely difficult to get a conviction.  You know how hard it is to get a conviction don't you?!"

Thelonius Jaha had been eager to start his meeting with his recently discovered community hero.  At the top of the hour (Lexa appreciated his punctuatlity) he came strolling in, hand held out for her to shake, genuine smile and his deep voice projecting out into the open space around Lexa in rich tones of unmistakable confidence.

This lasted for exactly 15 minutes.  Just long enough to get past the formalities and get right to Jaha's first question.

"Tell me the details of your relationship with Clarke Griffin.  Her father and I have been best friends since we were in high school and Clarke is extremely close to my son Wells.  They actually dated for a quite a while in high school.  I imagine it was pretty serious but they were young and ambitious and after graduation...."

Lexa decided this was the perfect moment to drop her bomb since Jaha seemed to have had a bomb of his own up his sleeve he was currently dropping on her.  She ignored the acidic mixture of jealousy that began forming in the pit of her stomach so that she could think as clearly as possible.

"I am recusing myself from this case and anything directly involved with it.  If I provide any form of evidence damning or otherwise for the defense or prosecution during my testimony, it could come back later to bite us both in the ass.  The last thing I want is to drag Clarke along with me in any way shape or form.  This is MY career and MY career experience that should be called in to question.  Not Clarke's.  I won't risk it, sir.  I respect you but I won't sacrifice Clarke's privacy or credentials or reputation just to help your case."  Lexa was firm and stoic in her conviction and Jaha's voice had turned from silk to panic in a matter of seconds. 

Lexa could see the light sheen of sweat that was beginning to form on his upper lip and the widening of is eyes as he tried to drive his points home to no avail.

"That's...that's very noble of you Lexa but...."  Thelonius Jaha, the enforcer of the court room looked like a lost and terrified legal aid still wet behind the ears. 

"If you recuse yourself the jury won't have the insider's perspective.  Right now, to them, John Murphy looks like a clean cut, honorable police officer.  No one has the type of proof that you do.  Proof that he is anything but an upstanding, honorable cop.  They won't have that understanding of trainer and trainee dynamics.  They want to hear that from a trusted member of their community. From YOU!  You're the only one that can hammer this home for us Lexa!  You understand don't you?"

Lexa's conflicted mind and heart warred back and forth as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes against the overhead office light in the attorney's spacious office.

"I want your promise no, your OATH right now that if that fucking weasel Pike starts trying to drag Clarke through the mud..."

"I'll shut him down immediately, Lexa.  I will relish it."  Jaha quickly promised.

"NO.  Swear it.  Right now.  Say the words."  Lexa insisted, slamming the palm of her recently injured hand on the desk top.

"You love her don't you?"

"Are you going to give me your solemn oath or am I going to invoke my 5th Amendment rights?"  Lexa countered without a seconds worth of hesitation.

Jaha took a few moments to mull it over.  Not the decision to take this oath to protect someone they both cared about but to process the fact that his star witness had only one vice but that one vice could seriously poke holes through her credibility.  A vice with blonde hair, blue eyes and a killer smile.  

Lexa's vice had come over to his home every weekend from the age of 8 all the way to the age of 12 when her visits began requiring a chaperone and then 19 when they both graduated and had to decide what their next moves were going to be.  

One of, if not the most delightful child he had ever had the pleasure of watching grow other than his own son.  

Intelligent, witty and unmistakably gorgeous.  He wasn't surprised in the slightest when he learned that his son was so taken with her he seriously considered turning down a scholarship to an ivy league university out of state in order to stay in Texas to be with Clarke.

Of course, Clarke had always been the voice of reason and insisted that he pursue his dreams to reach his full potential.  

_Delightful child...remarkable woman._

And Thelonias Jaha wasn't surprised in the slightest now either when he saw the loyalty and yes, LOVE reflected at him in this young beautiful woman's eyes.  

He had never seen this type of look in his own son's eyes.  His son was taken with Clarke of course.  It was intense and exciting and as all young people in love, driven heavily by raging hormones.

But this wasn't hormornal or seasonal or even lust filled.  Lexa's love had hit her like a storm, surprising her at the last second when it jumped from harmless to 'loss of life' levels of dangerous.  

Lexa's feelings were introduced as the foliage covering the top of the frozen ground in a fall frost. It was beautiful but on the surface, temporary.

But it had quickly sunk low becoming part of something much more steady.  Lexa's feelings had precipitated down into the earth's crust, steady, raw and real. As everlasting and certain as the surface of the earth has been since the dawn of time and will be until the last star died in the sky.

"I swear it Lexa.  I swear to do everything I can to prevent Pike from hurting Clarke in any way."  Jaha solemly swore.

                                                       ***

 


	8. Court Proceedings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took me forever. And I'm sorry.
> 
>  I found out I needed surgery which will be going down on Monday btw and one week before that my gf of two years tells me she's leaving me once I recover from said surgery. So this has not been easy. I have had to really challenge myself to get in the right mindset because I wanted to post this before my surgery.
> 
> Well I got it done. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Tumblr: retinalense51515fps

"Sorry, his sitter should've picked him up by now.  The rain makes people drive really stupid so one accident means really bad traffic."

"Hey you don't have to explain anything to me.  Matt and I actually had prior plans.  I came here to meet up with him really, not you."  Lexa began laughing and Clarke soon followed.

Matt looked on amused for a few seconds but then continued playing with his trucks.

"Has he always been this good?  I mean I'm used to seeing children getting into things constantly.  At least, at work I see this alot."

Lexa watched as her nephew quietly played and smiled softly.

"He really is well behaved.  Always has been.  Which of course he gets from me."  Lexa says cockily.  Clarke giggles, leaning over a little to grab Lexa's forearm.

Lexa's eyes flash at her for a few seconds.  A fire in her eyes and a grin on her face.

"I'm really lucky to have him, and my sister.  I think if I didn't have them in my life I would've never survived this long.  How is it being an only child?"  Lexa asked suddenly slightly surprising Clarke with the question.

"Well I, guess I never really felt alone.  I was lucky to have Octavia and Bellamy.  They were ALWAYS around.  We all grew up in DC and then I moved to Houston with my parents when I was just finishing Junior high.  When I got here, Raven and I became fast friends after we both got played by the same douche bag so I guess I've been blessed as well.  Never really thought about what I might be missing.  Though I wish one of these idiots would have a kid already so I could spoil the crap out of them."  Clarke laughed.

"Well I'm sure Matt wouldn't mind you spoiling him in the meantime."  Lexa says looking softly into Clarke's eyes making the young doctor want to attack her lips.

"Mmhm, I bet he wouldn't..." Clarke agrees softly never breaking eye contact.

"Lorke....Lorke....phone!  Who texting you...huh?"  Matt suddenly spoke up popping the charged bubble the two women had created.

Clarke's phone was buzzing and Matt had followed the very familiar sound all the way to her purse, fishing it out for her and swiping it himself to show her she had a text.

"Mathew Christian Woods!  What have I told you about grabbing people's phones!  We don't do that Matt!"  Lexa scolded the small boy sternly without raising her voice.

Matt's face still took on a very sad little pout and soon enough his eyes were filling with tears.

"Oh Lex...its ok, really.  Look he's gonna cry now."  Clarke said with a slight frown.  SHe felt her heart sinking in her chest at the sight.  THe little boy was really the sweetest kid and all of a sudden she felt like she couldn't stand to see him cry.

"Oh come here little guy its ok.  Its ok.  Don't cry."  Clarke soothed pulling the toddler by the hand towards her enveloping him in a hug.  Matt didn't wail but continued to silently cry against Clarke's chest, wetting her shirt with his big tears.

"Are you gonna be nice Auntie Lexa?"  Clarke said looking over at a solemn Lexa as Matt peeked out from his hiding place.

"Come ere buddy."  Lexa told Matt softly.  The toddler hesitated for a few seconds but eventually walked over.  Lexa picked him up and sat him on her lap with is head on her chest.

This time when she spoke she used such soothing tones that Clarke's heart melted all the way down to her stomach and pooled there like warm honey.

"You're a good little dude Mathew but I need you not to touch other people's things without their persmisson ok?  That's not polite and its just plain wrong ok?  You're ok.  Its ok.  Lorke is a nice lady so she was ok with it but not everyone will be ok?  I love you buddy.  Come on, let me see that little handsome face.  There it is.  See, good as new.  I love you buddy."  Lexa said looking into the toddler's eyes and resting her forehead on his.

"Luh you hedies."  The toddler replied with a little sniffle.

Lexa wiped his tears and then covered his face in kisses until the small mini her was giggling and squirming.

"He um...he really broke out the tears fast with that little scolding you gave him."  Clarke softly notated still mesmerized by the over load of soft sweetness she had just witnessed.

No way this woman is as dangerous as they say, Clarke thought to herself.

"Uh yea, well he's just THAT good.  I hardly ever have to scold him at all so he's really not used to me talking to him in that tone.  Honestly...I hate doing it too."  Lexa admitted, giving Matt a good hard hug and then putting him down. 

"Now go get you're shoes because Linc will be here any minute.  He text me.  If you go now I'll let you text him back on my phone."  

The toddlers eyes lit up and he ran off to complete the task asked of him.

"He uh...he can text?"  

Lexa's short bark of laughter made Clarke smile.

"Yea of course he can but not anything that anyone but another 3 year old could read."  Lexa said laughing.

"A bunch of random emojis and characters all jumbled up.  He takes pics too.  I almost died laughing once when he sent me a pic of a hole on the toe of Lincoln's sock and then one right after of Lincoln passed out."  Lexa said guffawing.

Clarke began to laugh along with her.

"Nice babysitting."  Clarke wailed.  Lexa laughed harder and nodded her head already crying at the memory.

"Yea no shit..."  Lexa said forgetting she was in mixed company just as Matt ran back into the room.

Lexa's eyes grew wide and she covered her mouth.  "Oh I mean...."  She said looking at Matt, praying that he hadn't heard her.  Clarke couldn't breath at this point and her laughing grew silent.

"Oopsie."  Lexa mumbled chuckling nervously.  When Clarke still hadn't taken a beath she threw a pillow at her.

Matt giggled and began repeating "oopsie' over and over again while Lexa put on his shoes.

"Enough Lorke you need to breathe.  I can administer mouth to mouth but once I start I cant promise that I'll stop."  Lexa joked biting her lip.

Clarke had just caught her breath and was wiping her eyes.

"Like that's a bad thing."  She commented still chuckling.

              ************************************************************************************************************************************

"He's such a precious lil sarcastic asshole!"  Clarke giggled sweetly.

Lexa was paralyzed by the sound.

"You're kidding me right?  Everyone knows R2 is the shit and he's the cutest too.  Don't make me take back my marriage proposal 'Lorke,' you were doing so well!"

Clarke's laugh was full and deep and guttural this time and Lexa had to dig her short nails into her own palms and bite her tongue to restrain herself from reaching up and touching Clarke in any way.

"'Lorke,' what a fucking gorgeous little guy."  Clarke gushed smiling down at Lexa. 

"And I'm sorry to disappoint you Lex, but Kay is the best Star Wars droid hands down.  If R2 could speak he would talk just like Kay Tuesso and you know it!"

Lexa was laid out flat on her back with her eyes closed trying to avoid the electric gaze of the gorgeous woman propped up on an elbow and tucked in tightly into her side. 

After hearing this comment her eyes flew wide open.

"Holy....shit how did I never think of that myself???  You're totally fucking spot on!"  Lexa's smile was blinding and so sweet that Clarke's breath caught in her throat.

"You're fucking genius and gorgeous...why are you even...how do you even exist!"  Lexa deflected quickly and stealthily away from the original question that almost came out of her mouth. *Why are you even here with me??*

The blush on Clarke's face and neck made Lexa want to land her lips all over that pink skin until she had covered the entire expanse.

"I guess my genius when it comes to Star Wars has never been truly appreciated until now."

"Well there's so many other genius things you are capable of."

"Oh is that so?  What things might those be?"  Clarke inquired quirking an eyebrow mischievously.

Lexa's small chuckle was enough to make Clarke's heart start to palpitate.

"Oh come on...I never thought you were the type to fish for compliments doc."  Lexa teased and this time she giggled.

As they both lay on their sides gazing at each other Lexa had a fleeting thought that nagged at the back of her mind.  They could kiss so easily right now.  Kiss...and so much more.  And they both wanted the other so bad it was almost physically painful at this point.

"Just know that...knowing your droids and your genius droid theories have been overlooked in the past but those days are over.  I'm sorry Ms Griffin but I don't know how to overlook anything, EVER and with you...well its pretty impossible to do so."

"Fucking charmer."  Clarke mumbled rolling her eyes and smirking as she joined Lexa laying down shoulder to shoulder.

Torrents of rain fell angrily against the eaves of Lexa's back patio.  The patter against the roof was dulled down to a low roar in comparison but all this just served to bring Lexa into a state of absolute relaxation.

" 'I never thought I could have this much fun for free' "

"Whaa u cheater! Thats from HEART BREAKERS! You said only Star Wars movies tonight!"

"When did I ever say that Lorke?  I just said movie quotes.  Just because we decided on Rogue One for movie night does not automatically mean we are only allowed to use Star Wars quotes."

"Whatever...I'm getting cheese fries."  Clarke responded.

Lexa barked noisily before silently laughing at the sudden quote.

"Nice one...nice comedic timing gorgeous.  Mean Girls."  Lexa responded after laughing herself to tears.

A comfortable period of silence passed between the two women. 

An easy silence that they were beginning to understand only occurred when they were fortunate enough to find some time to dedicate each other.

"Lex...?"

"Hm?"  The sleepy cinnamon roll responded just loud enough to be heard over the two way conversation between the rain and the roof.

Lexa's almond shaped eyes remained closed in pleasure and pure joy.

"Did you build all this yourself?  This porch and the garden and the outdoor movie theater?"

"Mhm...although, Linc helped me load and unload the lumber and the stones for the garden walkways.  I also had a professional come in to seal the deck to prevent rot.  Other than that...yea."  

Lexa said as she began stretching her muscles and groaning at the pain and pleasure.

"Do the girls ever come out here with you?"  Clarke asked.

"All the time.  Of course they won't come out here now.  Too much rain.  Piper was out here earlier though.  Before you came over.  But she gave up and went inside when the thunder got to be too much.  And PPotts...well I think she's just lazy sometimes.  If I carry her out here she won't move to leave."

Both women laughed and then Clarke said, "Cats are so funny."

"Mhm."  Lexa agreed.

"I made alot of changes when I moved into the house but this is definitely my favorite addition.  I always loved the idea of a drive in.  I've never been to one and most of them in Texas have closed down.  So, I decided to build a mini one here.  Besides, you can't beat this California king pull out.  I've fallen asleep out here plenty of times."

"Oh my God, Raven would absolutely shit herself if she knew you had this.  Wait till I tell her you turned an old slide projector into a movie projector."

"Oh I see that sister Raven is a geek slash gear head slash sexy bad ass like me huh?"  Lexa teased laughing lazily and finally opening her eyes to see Clarke's reaction.

"So you think she's sexy huh?"  Clarke mused, a small smile bending her pink lips.

"That's all you got from all those descriptive words I just uttered about your best friend?"  Lexa asked through an amused grin.

"Mhm. Don't worry, she thinks you're sexy as fuck too."

"Well first of all I wasn't worried."

"So humble."

"And second of all, anyone with eyes can see that BOTH of your friends are sexy."

"Oh really....I see.  Good news officer Woods, Octavia would probably jump your bones if you got her spaghetti warm enough to slurp her off a spoon."

Lexa's laugh hit her so suddenly that she barely kept in a snort.  She had not laughed this hard since Echo had visited.

Soon enough Clarke joined her and they both cried their way through a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Once they were both able to settle down and wipe their faces with a few tissues Lexa felt she had to clarify.

"Lorke, do you know how difficult it is to see a target at night?  Our service weapons have these bright green glow in the dark sights and when you try aiming in passed them its next to near impossible to see the target at night. The target serves more as a point of reference once you gain your night vision.  Your eyes are drawn to the two dots glowing in the dark.  I feel like youre the dots Clarke....glowing like a bolt of lightning kissing the earth and every other woman is standing behind you whether they want to be seen by me or not.  Youre not the point of reference. You're the very element that would save my life. The glowing sights leading my way.  Other women, including your friends, are as trivial to me as a passing car on the road.  I register that they're there but other than that...well they really don't interest me."

Clarke cant stop herself from letting out an audible hitch in her throat when Lexa leans up on her elbow to hover over her body leaving less than a foot of space between their faces.

She gathers all of her bearing to attempt to speak evenly and fails when her voice shakes.

"You just compared me to a gun, Lexa...and you made it sound...poetic.  I swear baby..."  Clarke mused and smirked as she sighed whimsically.

"...all of the most talented movie script writers in the world couldnt hold a candle to your originality."

Lexa looks down at Clarkes lips not being able to control herself anymore.

"Well other women could never hold a candle to you."

When they kiss they don't think of the rules they had set in place.  They don't think of the fact that this is their last official day together before Lexa has to return to work.  Nothing could come between them in this moment. 

Lexa delves into Clarke's mouth with a soft caressing tongue.  Dipping in to relish the flavor as if she is having her first taste of a vintage wine.  The moan they both let out is enough to remind them of what is happening.

Clarke inhales sharply as she disconnects her lips and before she can think about what she's doing, she tries to sit up which only results in a sickening impact of her forehead against Lexa's.

Lexa immediately lays out flat on her back and closes her eyes against the stars she is seeing.

This minor head knock with Clarke would be insignificant if Lexa hadn't just suffered a head injury but in this moment, it would amplify symptoms Lexa was already suffering over the last two weeks.

Clarke felt like the worst person on the planet.

She scrambled over to Lexa hovering over her and lightly caressing her jawline.

"Oh God...baby I'm so so sorry.  Are you ok?"  Clarke's voice was shaky and Lexa could tell without opening her eyes that she would soon be crying.

Lexa could barely think past the enormous pain but attempted to mollify Clarke anyway by blindly reaching up and caressing whatever she felt first. 

Her long slender fingers touched down on soft supple skin and lexa smiled softly when she felt that is was the dimple in Clarke's chin that her searching hands had found.

It seemed only fitting that her fingertips would gravitate to the very significant little dip that Lexa has been dreaming of kissing a thousand times over the last two weeks.

" Sookay.  Sookay pretty girl.  Juss gimme a moment."  Lexa uttered through tightly gritted teeth. 

"Fuck baby...fuck I'm so sorry.  It was...it was an accident I'm such a fucking dumbass!"  Clarke lamented already shedding a few tears.

"Shhhh...sookay."  Lexa replied now lightly massaging her temples.

"Let me...let me get my bag.  I gotta run you through a few quick tests.  You have to let me.  We need to be safe.  I want to make sure you're ok.  If you're even slightly concussed, if the tests determine that, I'm gonna have to take you in again."

Lexa giggled softly.

"Its not funny! I'm dead serious!"  Clarke chastised.

"Just a great story to tell for later Lorke.  Now get your bag and get it over with.  Don't worry.  The pain is at a 9 but it wasn't all you gorgeous I swear."  Lexa insisted still rubbing her temples.  Eyes still closed.

 "Has your head been hurting this whole time Alexandra?"  Clarke asked immediately slipping into assertive doctor mode.

Frequent head aches and even migraines had been a part of Lexa's recovery and the young cop was known for hiding her pain very well.  Clarke had to constantly be on her to update her on pain levels or the presence of pain in general. 

Lexa hated to take medication and would try to avoid it as much as she could which usually meant that by the time she took anything, her headache was already midway evolving into a migraine that was literally blinding her and making her sick to her stomach.

"No Dr. Griffin.  I just got a sharp pain right now on the left side of my temple.  I just meant that its not your fault that I had my ass beat by a coke head."  Lexa answered, softly rubbing at the area in question.

"Come here then baby.  Lay back down and I'll get my bag.  If the pain doesn't start to lessen in the next 15 minutes you're taking meds and I don't want to hear any complaints."  Clarke said with finality.

"Yes maam!"  Lexa sassed finding the small hill of pillows Clarke had built for her and propping her head up on them carefully.

During the all out brawl that Lexa participated in when saving the family of her friends from certain death, repeated blows to the head, slamming of her entire body against the wall and getting pinned under an industrial sized grocery rack left Lexa's body with ailments that would remind her of that night for months to come.

Migraines, stiffness of joints and stress fractures were just the tip of the iceburg. 

Internal injures like those infamous ribs and constant on and off ringing in her ear were symptoms that Lexa hoped would go away one day even if it took years to happen.

Clarke had informed her that the bone bruises would be the last to go and since Lexa refused to be stationary for more than 8 hours a day for sleep, her ribs would probably never properly heal.

Lexa hated the fact that her injuries made her dependent on someone but she had to admit that the way Clarke took care of her was something she had become addicted to.

The care she took in preparing her baths.  The way she set the bed up so that Lexa wouldn't have to get up and sit at the dinner table to eat.

The attention to detail she put into cooking for Lexa.  Taking note of all the foods that were NOT part of Lexa's diet.

After Clarke flashed a light into Lexa's eyes and asked a series of questions she was satisfied that Lexa didn't need to take another hospital trip.

The doctor helped Lexa back inside and set her up in bed placing a cool wet towel over her eyes.

They lay there quietly next to each other listening to the rain drops hit the roof over Lexa's master bed room.

Clarke began to dread the moment she was going to have to leave Lexa's side. 

Without the excuse of caring for her while she was incapacitated, she felt like there was no other reason for her to see Lexa as frequently as she had been for the last two weeks.  At least not a reason they had discussed yet and that discussion alone terrified Clarke to no end.  Not because she didn't want to admit the way she felt but because Lexa might not reciprocate those feelings.

The last thing she wanted was to suffocate the poor woman or for Lexa to grow tired of her. 

 As if sensing Clarke's internal thoughts, Lexa removed the towel and fixed Clarke with an intense, almost determined look.

"What?"  Clarke asked instantly concerned.

"Nothing I .....Clarke....there's really no way I can do enough to show my gratitude for everything you've done for me these last two weeks.  I'm not the easiest person to get along with when I'm injured or sick."  Lexa admits biting her lip with worry and dissapointment.

Clarke smiles softly but says nothing.

"I mean, I could wait on you hand and foot for two whole weeks and it still wouldn't even scratch the surface.  You were so patient with me.  I don't even know how..."

"Lexa...I'm gonna stop you right there.  There's no need for all that.  A simple thank you and a promise to keep in touch after today is more than enough for me."

Lexa's green eyes sparkle as she smiles over at Clarke.  Not only had she helped nurse her back to health but she had also just done what Lexa had been trying to figure out how to do for 3 whole days. 

She had cut right through the unnecessary complication and told Lexa to keep in touch.

"Thank you Doctor Griffin.  And you have a deal.  I'll keep in touch."

"Good.  I'll hold you to that Lexa."  Replied Clarke smiling shyly.

*****************************************************************************  

 "Not spending time with your sexy girlfriend tonight?  This is a rare sight!  Clarke is actually here inhabiting the square footage of our downtown loft apartment!"  A loud raucous Octavia exclaims from the open door way of Clarke's bedroom.

"Hey O, Hey Rae...good to see you both too..."  Clarke replies with a dramatic sigh as she turns on her side and slides over to the far end of the bed in preparation for what she is sure will follow.

She isn't disspointed when she feels the weight of two bodies bounding and bouncing on the bed behind her.

"By the way...not my girlfriend O...just my...Lexa."  Clarke clarifies morosely sighing once more.

"First day back right?"  Octavia asks pouting in jest.

Clarke sighs quietly.  "Yup."

"Don't feel so bad Clarkey...you knew she had to go back to work sometime right?  How is that fucking fine as fuck specimen of a sister she has?  GEEE ZUS how much kiss, fuck and marry potential can one family have before it becomes illegal?"  Raven rants on the far side of the bed giggling lazily.

"Apparently the possibilities are endless when it comes to the Woods clan.  I was hanging with Lexa and her absolutely gorgeous 3 yr old nephew a few days ago when the sitter came to pick him up."  Clarke said rolling over on her back now shoulder to shoulder with Octavia.

"So?  We already know that Anya has a 3yr old commercial ready gerber baby for a son."  Octavia deadpans.

Clarke rolls her eyes and grins.  "Yes, he is the most perfect 3 yr old I think I've ever met but I was referring to his sitter.  HIS name is Lincoln...and he's their cousin."  Clarke reveals conspiratoraly looking over Octavia to make eye contact with Raven. 

"No way!"  Octavia bellows looking over at Clarke with widening blue green eyes.

"Yes way.  Six foot 5, chiseled to perfection...which by the way....also runs in the family."  Clarke sighs dreamily.

"FOCUS!  Come on Clarkey you can't bail on O now.  You gotta finish the description before her head explodes."  Raven teases laughing.

"Oh you know, just the usual.  Can't really explain someone as attractive as the individuals sharing the Woods bloodline.  He's just ridiculously attractive...."  Clarke pauses making a connection that is fleeting but that she's just able to hold on to before it flits away.

"Which reminds me....hold on let me get my Mac real quick."  Clarke states before bounding off the bed.

When Clarke returns, her Mac is already on and she begins to quickly type something into Google.

"So I've been meaning to look this up and with all the commotion with Lexa's hospital visit and after care, I forgot. Fuck...fuck baby, it seems like I was missing out."  Clarke states almost purring her words.

She hands the computer over to Octavia who promptly sets it down on her flat stomach slightly turning it so Raven can see as well.  The images on the screen display a brooding, commanding even in a still frame Lexa in a dress blue uniform holding an NCO sword perfectly splitting her perfect features in half at the salute position.

Another shows Lexa in full combat gear and war paint just around her eyes, menacingly barking orders and pointing across an exploding mine field.

Another shows her leading a platoon of men and women through a mud pit.  The mud splattered across her striking gorgeous face does nothing to dull her stunning features.

"I wonder if I could pull off the muddy look as good as Commander Lexa can.  Damn...."  Raven whisles lowly between her teeth.

Octavia scoffs and chuckles.  "Doubtful Raven.  No one can pull this shit off like Commander panty dropper." 

Clarke giggles a little as her two friends howl with laughter.

"Echo told me she was discovered in a movie theater and the photographer courted her for their new ad campaign by pestering her for 3 or 4 weeks.  I didn't know what the ads looked like until now.  She's so fucking perfect I can't even...I mean...fuck...."  Clarke mused breathlessly as her friends quietly scrolled through all the different poses.

"Clarkey is in love O.  And I want to say its fucking gross but it really isn't.  Its really so cute I can barely stand it.  There's like...ugh I don't even know the English word for it!  Me da ancias!"  Raven prattles on in Spanish.

"EEEHHHHH ok Rae...sure, as if that's gonna help us understand your espan e ole."  Octavia quips and then laughs.

"Well...its like...ugh like when you see the cutest baby and you just want to squeeze the shit out of it!"

"Or pinch its chubby little cheeks!" Octavia adds.

"Exactly!"  Raven agrees.

"Wait....what are you talking about??  Rae...I'm not in love with Lexa....I'm just...I mean, am I?"  Clarke furrows her eyebrows in confusion and her two friends burst out laughing.

"See what I mean?  So cute!  Ancias!  Come ere lil baby....let me squeeze the shit out of you!"  Raven yells in a little falsetto baby voice as she jumps over Octavia to wrap her arms around Clarke's waist.

Octavia screams in pain as the mac slightly pinches the soft skin of her forearm and to add insult to injury, Raven treats her body as if its just an extension of the mattress.

The sharp corners of elbows and knees and hip bones of Raven's well sculpted body dig into places on Octavia's body that cause pain and also tickle her to no end.

They all end up wrestling, tickling and hugging each other for the next 5 minutes effectively forgetting the subject they were just talking about until they hear the door bell ring.

Octavia and Raven freeze immediately.  Raven's head is hanging off the side of the bed teetering on the edge of falling off completely.  She is pinned to Clarke's hips by Octavia who is topping the Clarke dog pile.

Octavia scrambles off the bed quickly and Raven follows ungracefully throwing Clarke a few more knees and elbows in the process.  

The poor blonde grunts and hisses and even bellows when Raven finally makes it off the bed when the latina throws a rather aggressive knee to the sensitive part of her upper thigh using it as a launching pad for her dismount.

"Wait for me O!  We aren't expecting anyone!  Be safe!"  Raven calls out jogging after Octavia.

Clarke just rolls her eyes massaging the spot on her leg and flopping back down on the bed uninterested in seeing who could possibly be at the door.

"Clarke?!  Clarke, can you come here please?  We need your help with something!"

Clarke hears Octavia yelling from the common area.

"What the hell..."  She grumbles as she reluctantly gets up from the cozy bed.

"O...this better be important because...."  Clarke begins but as she crosses the threshold into the common area of the apartment all complaint just dies on the tip of her tongue when she sees why she's been summoned.

Its Lexa.  In all her post shift glory.  Her light duty uniform, a black form fitting polo shirt and kacki rough duty cargo pants, look so good on her that Clarke has to hold her breath to keep from groaning.

Her hair is up in a sloppy bun and a few stray strands of hair frame her breath taking face.

Lexa has her gun belt off and slung over one shoulder in a perfect circle as Raven bombards her with questions about what each gadget the belt is decorated with does.

"What do you have to do in order to be able to carry a taser?  Did you have to get tased?"

"Well, it IS an OPTION to get tased when you're certifying to carry it but you don't have to get tased.  I chose to be tased though."

Clarke is stunned and speech less as she continues to watch.

"Why in God's name would you agree to go through that torture?  Is there some kind of kinky pain shit you're in to?  If there is I think it's best you let us know now and get it over with."  Octavia teases.

"Like you're the one that would benefit from that information."  Raven quips rolling her eyes.

"I chose to be tased because I don't believe in using a non deadly weapon on a member of the community if I don't have any idea how it actually feels and how much pain I'm inflicting."

"Sexy and fucking honorable.  Have you been shot before?" 

"She was just shot 2 weeks ago genious...remember?  The hospital, 2 a.m....you stumbling all over yourself when you saw her sister and her...how did you put it....devastatingly gorgeous cheekbones?"

Lexa bursts out laughing and Raven's face turns a crimson red.

Clarke doesn't remember how she even made her way over to Lexa near the entrance to the apartment but she's suddenely in Lexa's personal space and the electricity is so strong she feels a shiver run through her body. 

"I hope its ok that I stopped by.  I found something out today that I wanted to share with you."  Lexa admits biting her lip shyly. 

Raven and Octavia went from full on investigative interview to making themselves scarce, much to Clarke's surprise and absolute pleasure.

Clarke makes a mental note to thank them in a special way like baking cookies or taking them on a spa day when ever theyre all off at the same time again.

"It will always be ok.  You are welcome here whenever you want to stop by.  I missed you."  Clarke softly says feeling her throat almost completely close as Lexa links her free hand with hers.

"Want to come relax in my room for a while and you can tell me all about what you found out?"  Clarke asks hoping that Lexa won't think she has ulterior motives.

Lexa doesn't hesitate when she nods her assent though and Clarke leads her there never letting go of her hand.

Lexa looks so sexy that Clarke's heart is reverberating in her ribcage and chest and her knees feel so weak she nearly collapses on the edge of her bed when she gets there.

Lexa releases Clarke's hand in order to place her belt on the floor next to Clarke's bookshelf against the wall.

When she returns, she notices the state that Clarke is in and grows concerned.

"Are you o.k. Clarke?"

"Yes just...yea.  I'm glad you came by."  The small smile Clarke gives her is grateful and affectionate and is more than enough to give Lexa the courage to tell her what she came to say.

"Me too."  Lexa replies as she sits on the bed next to Clarke close enough that their thighs are touching.

"So what did you find out today?"  Clarke asks dreamily as she unabashedly stares at Lexa's eyes and lips and back to her eyes again.

"That I got used to starting the day with you and now I feel off all day long if I don't see you first thing in the morning."  Lexa can feel her heart throbbing heavy and loud as blood rushes to her face.

Clarke looks down shyly to hide a small embarrassed smile.

"And I missed you too.  So much."  Lexa admits quietly...almost whispering it out into the small space between them.

"I didn't feel right all day today either."  Clarke counters finally making eye contact with Lexa again.

Lexa lightly runs the back of her hand over Clarke's cheekbone and down the side of her face.  Clarke sighs contentedly closing her eyes to revel in the feeling.

Lexa ends with the tip of her finger finding its way to the dimple on Clarke's chin where it almost always seems to end up.

And then Lexa's pulling her in and hugging her close to her body.  Clarke's face is hidden in Lexa's neck and Lexa's chin is lightly resting on top of Clarke's head. 

Clarke feels like she must be in heaven.

The way Lexa feels solid and warm against her.  Lexa's scent and the feeling of being whole again with just a simple embrace.  Clarke is overwhelmed with the feeling that is taking over her chest.  She is so in love with this woman.

"You look so good in my room."  Clarke suddenly admits voice shaking slightly.

Lexa's cheekbones tint a gorgeous pink as she bites her lip against a shy smile.

"I was wondering if we would ever cross this line.  Is that what we're doing Clarke?"

"What?"  Clarke asks dreamily.

"Crossing the line that is one step closer to the line we shouldn't cross.  At least not yet.  TALKING about what we have been feeling.  All those things we keep from each other so we don't torture ourselves?  Like how good you think I look in your room?"  Lexa asks softly and both women feel like they have drifted into a lazy daze.

"I...I guess."  Clarke almost mumbles. "But if we are going there, then I've dreaming about way more than how good you would look in my room."

Lexa's breath catches and her throat bobs delicately as she waits for Clarke to speak with bated breath.

Clarke lifts her head so she's looking at Lexa still held firmly in the embrace.

"What drives me the craziest...what has me fucking myself until I can't even walk straight is...just...wondering how you taste.  How fucking delicious you must taste after having tasted your skin and wishing I could suck on you until your body is giving me whatever it can.  Sweat, saliva...your cum.  I want to put my mouth all over your body Lexa.  Anywhere, everywhere.  Until you're scratching me or pulling me or trembling in my arms or screaming or all if it at the same time."

Both women have begun to pant shallowly and two pairs of eyes have suddenly blown out to black.  They stare at each other with intensity.

Then Lexa speaks.

"I would die slowly every day you were in my bed.  Just dreaming about how it would be to have your naked body against mine again.  To have all the time in the world to fuck you senseless until you were shaking and coming on repeat even days after even when I'm not touching you."

A moan sounded in the room from one of them and Clarke was shocked to learn that it was from her own throat.

Clarke clenches her hand into the front of Lexa's polo tightly to get herself under some semblance of control.

"No...FUCK....Lexa we can't....I'll...I can't hold back if you....if we keep this up."  Clarke whispers through shudders that run through her body.

Lexa feels the trembling and the shuddering and only wants to devour Clarke even more.

Lexa has Clarke near the point of bursting in her yoga pants just by putting one sentence together and Clarke would laugh at the ridiculousness of it all if she weren't on the cusp of creaming herself.

"I'm sorry...I'm really sorry..I didn't mean to take it so far."

"Well I started it."  Clarke admits chuckling softly and hiding her face back in Lexa's neck taking in that heavenly smell once more.

"Can I....can I just hold you?"  Lexa asks turning from a sultry, smoldering lady killer to an absolutely adorable puppy dog.

The change is so quick and so polar opposite that Clarke shakes her head in disbelief.

"I...I can't believe the effect you have on me.  I can't even begin to understand it."  Clarke states exasperated.

She feels like she has whiplash from attempting to follow Lexa's change of demeanor.

"I don't want to understand it Clarke.  I just want to exist in it for as long as you'll let me."  Lexa softly replies.

Clarke bites her lip and her heart melts.  She's in love with Lexa and she's never been in love in her life.  Never ever truly known how love felt until now.

They lay in bed first facing each other and then with Clarke laying her head on Lexa's chest they dose for the next few hours before Clarke has to go to work.

 

                                                   ************************************************************************************

"Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I do." 

"State your name, rank and occupation for the record please?"  The bailiff states.

"Alexandra Woods police Sgt at the Houston Police Department 8th Precinct."

"You may be seated Ms Woods."  The judge says quietly.

"Proceed Mr. Jaha."  She says as she turns to look at the impeccably dressed prosecutor.

During her witness prep with the prosecution team, they had agreed that Lexa was more than prepared to take on the aggressive type of questioning she was going to experience from Charles Pike after only 30 minutes of role play.  Her intelligence and bearing were unmatched and Jaha was more than convinced she would do fine.

The only other issue on the agenda was what Lexa would wear. 

The idea of having her wear a military uniform was tossed around before Lexa shot it down. 

Although she was still a reservist, the incident in question did not occur during any sort of active duty training evolution and Lexa hated wearing that uniform just for the optics.  She did it once for the ad campaign and refused to do that again.

A form fitting, conservative, simple looking black dress was the next offer set on the table.  Lexa also shot this down with a very stern look at Jaha.

"It shouldn't be necessary for me to wear a dress that I could wear to a formal event.  I don't mind wearing dresses but really Mr Jaha, please don't tell me that this is what must be worn for me to be a credible witness.  I am a law enforcement officer with 10 years of line experience and a combat Marine Corps veteran, your theory is ridiculous."

That idea was also thrown out.

The last compromise made was a pencil skirt with a flowy top that was low enough to show a hint of collar bone and her hair up in a messy bun. 

When she walked up to the witness stand, Jaha noticed how the jury was immediately drawn to the vision that had just entered their drab world of hard, cold, blank marble buildings, black robes and suits and a wooden jury box.  He considered it a small victory and internally preened.

The light makeup on Lexa's face and lips made her face glow which seemed to enchant the court members.

Clarke sat between Octavia and Raven in the row right behind Jaha's bench and felt her heart begin to palpitate double time as soon as Lexa entered the room.  She was absolutely weak in Lexa's presence and she hated herself for it.  She felt ridiculous. She took a deep breath to calm herself and then felt Raven's warm hand on her thigh.  She turned to look at her best friend and was met with a face that she knew well.  Raven was barely holding in a teasing laugh.  Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend but before she could turn away, Raven motioned toward the cell phone Clarke held in her suddenely sweaty left hand.

Clarke furrowed her brow in confusion but unlocked her phone anyway to check what her friend was calling her attention to.

Raven had initiated a group text between herself, Clarke and Octavia.

 

RAE:  Just 2b clear, she is DEF off limits right?

O:  ur delusional Rae, that has CAG written all over it.  u dnt even exist2 her

GRIFF:  JFC, NO! We can't do this during her testimony.  I want2 listen.  She's so fucking perfect.  FUCK!

O:  BAHAHAAAAAA, Oh bb ur so gone.  Ur both so gorg...r u sure they haven't figured out how2 make a baby from 2lovely lady eggs?  I'd love 2c that!

RAE:  OMG!  I second that Clarkey awww I'm fucking dying 2c a clexa baby!

GRIFF:  I'm ignoring that ridiculous ship name you just pulled out ur ass because the girl of my fucking dreams is about2 speak so STOP the both of you.

 

"How long have you been a police officer Ms Woods?"  Jaha begins as he takes a few paces forward with a small stack of papers in his hands.

L: Ten years now.

TJ:  May I call you Lexa?

L:  Of course you may.

Lexa nodded her head slightly in assent and that alone made Clarke dig her nails into the top of her thigh.

TJ:  Thank you Lexa.  How long have you been a field training officer?

L:  Six years.

TJ: Six years...that would mean that you were only four years into your time as a police officer and you were already training rookies?

L:  Yes.

TJ: Is that normal?

L:  I was told by my superiors that my time in the Marine Corps added something vital to my experience as a city cop and that knowledge and experience was the reason behind my appointment as an FTO.

TJ:  How long did you serve in the Marine corps and how many deployments did you complete during that time?

L:  I served 6 years and was deployed 8 times.

 

The court room rumbles with low chattering from the court members.  Jaha continues right away not wanting to interrupt the flow of questioning.

 

TJ:  Eight deployments.  Wow, can you explain how one could be deployed so much in so little time?

L:  Of course.  The Marine Corps is an expeditionary force.  We serve at only 6 month intervals unless you're an infantryman.  Infantrymen tend to be deployed at longer intervals depending on what they specialize in.  I would typically start a year in one country and end it in another.  I wasn't deployed during my last couple of years of service.

TJ:  I see.  And are deployments always voluntary or are you ordered to deploy?

L:  Both.  Some choose to volunteer for various reasons and some are ordered after volunteers are taken.  Eventually, everyone at my duty station was deployed at one point or another.

TJ:  Did you volunteer for you deployments or were you ordered?

L: I volunteered.

Clarke felt her heart swell with pride and sheer gratitude that Lexa had made it out alive.  She had come to terms and accepted that Lexa was a defender of people.  A leader in her own right and that was something that would always be a part of her and if Clarke was going to stick around it was going to be a part of them as well.  She also felt something else. Something unmistakable. Unconditional love.  She had already accepted that as well.

Octavia watched the jury members reactions to the witness and smirked to herself.  This woman was definitey a force to be reckoned with.  It was damn near impossible NOT to like her.  Not be affected by her very alurring presence and her heroics.

TJ: Thank you for explaining that Lexa.  Back to the subject of training.  Can you describe what you wrote in your field training report on the day in question.  The day you had a talk with your superiors about Police officer John Murphy?

L:  "Of course."

 

Lexa narrates the entire day in detail with a few interruptions from Jaha with questions about certain police jargon.

 

TJ:  When you approached the sedan during that routine traffic stop in question, was it your intention to observe only or to assist as well?

L:  "Well, if I may Mr. Jaha, traffic stops are not routine.  They are not considered routine to us and should never be considered routine for any law enforcement branch.  Calling a traffic stop routine might suggest that every traffic stop is the same and conducted with a 'business as usual' attitude.  Vigilance requires that every stop is just that, a traffic stop.  Unpredicatble and potentially dangerous.  But to answer your question, I followed Mr. Murphy with the intent to observe, not to assist or interfere.

TJ:  Thank you for clarifying a traffic stop for us Lexa.  Did you have to interfere during this stop?

L:  Yes I did.

 

O:  Holy shit she is one of the best witnesses I've evr seen & she just started!

Clarke:  STOP TEXTING I don't wanna miss this.

Rae:  Juror #6 looks like she's gonna cream her fucking skirt at the command presence!

O:  The Commander!  Isn't that what u call her in bed Clarkey!!!  Lexa breathing is BIG DICK ENERGY!

Rae:  OMG!  Lexa nods her head in assent...BIG DICK ENERGY

O: Lexa making Clarke squirm in her seat right now without even looking at her...

Rae:  BIG DICK ENERGY

O: I CAN'T RAE...I'M GONNA LAUGH...I'M GONNA LAUGH!

Clarke: u have no FUCKING IDEA NOW SHUT IT!

Rae:  *Laughing emojis*

O:  *Eggplant emoji*

 

TJ:  Can you please explain what happened and why you reacted the way you did.

L:  Put very simply, Mr. Murphy was being disrespectful, unprofessional and not acting in accordance with the high standards of the Houston PD.  He told the driver that he could overlook the speeding if the woman would agree to go on a date with him.  The woman was visibly upset.  She was about to get a ticket for speeding and she seemed to be on the verge of tears.  Her eyes were red and she was frantically speaking to him with her hands flailing about.  She repeatedly apologized for speeding.  I was appalled and disgusted with this display of unprofessional behavior and sexual harassment.

TJ:  What happened after you witnessed Mr. Murphy proposition the driver?

L:  I stepped in right away and grabbed Mr. Murphy by the arm as I explained to the driver that we were going to run checks on her registration and proof of insurance and would be back shortly.  I walked back toward the police unit with Mr. Murphy and informed him that he was a hairs breath away from receiving a disciplinary write up if he continued on the path he was currently on with the traffic stop.

TJ:  Did he turn it around as you asked Lexa?

L:  No, he did not.  He explained that the driver was clearly interested in him and that my interfering was a....an attempt to prevent him from getting in bed with this woman.

 Jaha looked right into Lexa's eyes trying to convey his seriousness.

 TJ:  What were his exact words Lexa?

 Lexa hesitated only a few seconds staring Jaha down before answering.

 L:  He told me I was a cock block and just because I wasn't getting any....pussy...didn't mean that he couldn't get his .....get his dick wet.

 Lexa was visibly disgusted with the words she had to repeat and suddenly she felt her throat dry and her stomach fill with acid.

 TJ:  Thank you, Lexa.

L:  Your honor, may I have a glass of water?

J:  Of course.  Bailiff can you please pour Ms Woods a glass of water.  Mr. Pike you may proceed with your questioning.

 

Charles Pike:  Ms Woods, may I also call you Lexa?

L:  No you may not.  You and I have not been formally introduced Mr. Pike.  I'd much prefer if you and I addressed each other professionally for now and use our surnames.

 

O:  Weak in the knees yet Clarkey??

Clarke:  Thank FUCK I'm sitting

Rae:  Thank FUCK I came after all this is soooo not boring!

O:  Told ya.

Rae:  Is it my imagination or did she just knock him back on his heels a lil?

O:  Sometimes the most gifted litigators get thrown off by the smallest things

Rae: No bitch u may NOT call me Lexa, u will adress me as Commander....BOG DICK ENERGY!

Clarke: wtf is Bog Dick?

O: omg omg omg im gonna fucking laugh u 2

Rae: u know what i fucking meant! Commander BIG DICK ENERGY

Octavia's body shook as she silently laughed. Clarke would get the urge but all she had to do was look at Lexa and she'd get incredibly turned on effectively cutting off all humor.

 

CP:  Uh very well then MS WOODS.  Now you just stated that my client told you that you were...cock blocking?  How could you be sure he wasn't accurate in his perception of you?  Were you cock blocking Ms Woods?

TJ: Your Honor!  

J:  Mr. Pike, I suggest you keep it civil and professional in my court room.

 

O:  The prick is trying to get under her skin.  It will get way worse than this.

 

CP:  Very well your honor.  Now Ms Woods, how could you be sure that the woman in question was NOT interested in my client?

Lexa holds back a scoff and eye roll but just barely.  She looks over at Murphy's smug looking face and raises a dangerous eyebrow at him.

L:  As a Houston Police Officer it is our duty to protect and serve the community.  The behavior that Mr. Murphy was displaying that day goes totally against everything we as police officers believe in.  Using your authority to get your way or get away with things.  If he thought she was interested then he should have waited until he was off duty and attempt to pursue her then.  In uniform, we have a job to do and we are held to a higher standard.  So your question is really pointless and if I may say very offensive.

CP:  Oh well I apologize then Ms Woods.  But do you really believe that a write up for flirting with a motorist was necessary?  Can you honestly say that your urge to write my client up didn't come from somewhere else.  Like your pure dislike of my client?

Jaha internally groaned knowing that Lexa was about to say something that might ruin the neat little stack of rappor they had been able to build with the jury so far.

TJ:  Your honor!  Its clear that Mr. Pike is trying to get a rise out of my witness with nothing but rumors and hear say.

CP: It goes to the witness' state of mind while training my client your honor!  I think its very vital that the witness answer these questions since it is her account and her account of his actions alone that the prosecution is presenting as the only real evidence against my clients character.

J:  The witness will answer.  Your objection is overruled Mr. Jaha.

 

O:  Jesus christ Jaha, its like you didn't even fucking prepare.

Clarke:  I have a bad feeling O.

O:  She's ok C.  She'll make it out of this as a liable witness but not completely unscathed.  She can handle it.

Rae:  BIG DICK ENERGY

 

L:  When you combine the motorist incident with all the rest of the inappropriate behavior Mr. Murphy was displaying throughout his first training day, the write up was definitely necessary and more than warranted.

CP:  Do you like my client Ms Woods?  Do you view him as a fellow officer?

L:  I do not take my personal feelings or opinions to a training day with me.  I teach those who are susceptible to learning.  To those who don't want to learn, be it on their own heads.  I can only influence in a positive manner by leading by example and that's what I strive to do everyday.  I am not perfect and no one is but a direct dereliction of duty is just that.  And that is something I will not and can not over look.

CP:  Your honor, can you please instruct the witness to answer the original question.

Before the Judge can say anything, Lexa interupts her.

L:  No need your honor.  No Mr. Pike, I do not like your client.

Jaha clenches his fist trying to keep from showing any emotion.

Lexa stares Pike down unflinching.

CP:  And you expect the jury to believe that it was your experience as a training officer and not your dislike for my client that caused you to speak to your captian about having him written up and even fired after only one day of training?

L: I expect nothing of no one except the police officers I train.  Mr. Murphy's actions were his decisions and his decisions alone even after I warned him and guided him and tried to get through to him.  My dislike for him doesn't change that.

CP:  Returning to your previous testimony...you said that Mr Murphy disgusted you.  You said that his behavior was unprofessional and what was it?  Sexual harrassment?

L: Yes.

CP:  That's pretty rich coming from someone that slept with...just over...40 women in the span of 3 months back when you had just begun training rookies.

For the first time, Clarke could see Lexa's walls begin to crack and it had nothing to do with Charles Pike or John Murphy or even the women she slept with in the past.  

It was her own fault.  She was in the court room and Lexa was ashamed.

 

Clarke:  Let's go.  I wanna go.  I'm only making this harder on her.

O:  NO. If we leave now its worse than staying.  Just gut it out Clarke.  She will be ok

Rae:  JFC panty dropper.  You knew about this right Clarkey?

Clarke:  Yea but that dsnt mean I want specifics.

O:  Its gonna be ok bb.  We're here with you all the way.

 

Both Octavia and Raven gather each of Clarke's hands to show her that she is not alone, giving up the group text for the time being.

 

L:  Is there a question somewhere in that statement Mr. Pike?

Lexa asked causing the three women to chuckle nervously.

"Come on baby.  Just get through this."  Clarke whispered to herself.

 

CP:  My question is how you could judge this man for his words when your ACTIONS were much more lewd and far worse in comparison. If you lead by example well then how do you know that Mr. Murphy was not following your example?

L:  First of all, while on duty it is my job as a training officer to judge my trainees.  And my actions were unhealthy which is why I stopped that three years ago and have not slept with a random stranger since then. And most importantly, I have NEVER pursued a woman while on duty. Ever.

CP:  For three years?

TJ:  Your honor!  My client is not on trial and her sex life is not an issue here.  Mr Pike is badgering my witness who is a respected and heroic member of the community!

J: The objection is sustained.  Watch yourself Mr. Pike.  I will not hesitate to hold you in contempt.

CP:  Ms Woods, do you not recall an Erica Waters?  You spent a night together about 4 months ago.  Did you two just play board games all night?

This time Lexa looked over at Clarke with a shocked and worried expression.  It was only a two second glance but it was enough to relay to Clarke that Lexa's resolve was beginning to crumble.

Clarke let the sting of the new information sit over her heart just for a moment but she had to let it go.  Four months ago was still before she and Lexa had met.

TJ: OBJECTION YOUR HONOR WE JUST DISCUSSED THIS!

J: Not so fast Mr. Jaha, the witness will answer.

TJ:  But your honor, you yourself just agreed that Ms Woods' sex life is of no consequence in this matter!

J: This was a few months ago not three years ago Mr Jaha.  Character of defendant and witness are ultimately up to the jury to decide in this circumstance and it goes to the witness' state of mind around the time she began her time as a training officer.

Jaha sits down running a frustrated hand through his hair.

L:  Yes, I did have...sexual realtions with Ms Waters.  I did not recall until just now but we didn't spend the night together.  The relations didn't even occur in my home.  I felt wrong about it so I apologized and asked her to leave as soon as we arrived.

CP:  So you mean to tell me you had sex with a woman in a vehicle or where ever before even arriving at your residence, and as soon as she was in your home possibly already in your bed, you didn't feel right about it?  You couldn't even remember her and you still choose to act as if my client is the one that is disgusting?

The court room erupted in objections and pounding gavels.

J:  Approach the bench now the both of you!

The two lawyers and jugde discuss things quietly for a moment.  Jaha had been prepared for questions about Clarke but had no idea that Pike would have a bomb shell like Erica Waters up his sleeve. That he would find that one needle in the hay stack.

"No more Mr. Pike.  You've made your point.  Its enough.  There is no need to continue with your obvious smear campaign.  Officer Woods is not on trial here."

"But your honor, I'm afraid that those questions were just the platform to get to my point.  I still have questions.  I promise only a few and I will be done."

"No."

"But your honor!  I have video footage of the witness disappearing into an on-call room with the doctor that treated Mr Camacho.  They stayed in there for a significant amount of time. I also have evidence that Ms Woods and Doctor Clarke Griffin are carrying on a full fledged relationship."

"Your honor!  That is also irrelevant to this case!  It has nothing to do with the attempted murder of a young man.  And evidence of a relationship from rumors and hearsay is not evidence at all!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Jaha, but I have to let Mr Pike continue with his questioning...ON THE CONDITION that you stop badgering the witness Mr. Pike.  One more outburst from you and you're spending the night in jail."

"Yes your honor."

Jaha is so upset he wants to throw his glass of water at Pike's head.

 CP: Ms Woods, were you leading by example when you disappeared into an on-call room with Mr. Camacho's doctor on the very night he was shot?

The court room erupts in a low rumble as the court members react to the question.

L: YES actually I WAS leading by example.  Dr. Griffin and I had a misunderstanding and the meeting was purely professional.

Lexa stated robotically maintaining her stoic appearance.

CP: And did your relationship with Dr. Clarke Griffin remain professional after that first meeting?

Lexa swallows nervously.  Clarke can see the color draining from her face.

L: Clarke Griffin and I carry on a professional relationship while we are on duty.  We have a mutual respect and understanding of the other's profession.  But after hours, we crossed a line into a more informal type of relationship at one point but afterwards we felt it was best to pursue a friendship and only a friendship.

CP: Can you be more specific Ms Woods?  What exactly do you mean by crossing a line?

L: We...

Lexa flexes her jaw and clears her throat awkwardly.

L: spent a night together.

CP:  So you and Dr. Griffin actually made it all the way into your residence and spent the entire night together?  Doing what exactly?

Lexa looks at Pike dangerously.

L: We had sex and we spent the night together under my roof.  

Lexa adds trying to end the never ending need for specifics that Pike seems to be wanting her to reveal.

 "Yea and half a fucking day."  Raven murmured to herself and bit her lip to hold back the laughter that wanted to burst from behind her teeth.

Octavia looked over at her with a glare that would scare anyone else except Raven and Clarke.  Raven winked at her and turned back to the scene.

CP:  Were you aware that Dr. Clarke Griffin testified under oath yesterday?

Lexa was shocked.

L: No I was not aware of that at all.  We are friends but when we speak we never discuss this case.

CP: I'm sure you don't.  Are you aware of the special circumstances of this case since Dr. Griffin testified?

L:  As I said, we don't discuss the case.  We have carried on a platonic relationship since we spent that night together and we have never discussed the case except to make sure it was never discussed and to decide on a friendship.

CP: And why did you make that decision Ms Woods?

Lexa looked at Jaha and waited for him to nod his head.

L: I wanted to avoid the conflict of interest.

CP:  I see.  And in your Marine Corps career, have you had any experience at all that would help you gain knowledge on the effects of a blood thinner when it enters the body?

L: Not on a bullet but on shrapnel, yes.

CP: Can you explain how you know about that?

L: As a Marine who has seen so many deployments, I have unfortunately been exposed to my fair share of explosions and dirty bombs.  This is how I...how can I say it...ACQUIRED....pieces of shrapnel in my body.  Some in my back and some in my legs.

CP: I see, so you have personal experience in the effects of blood thinner on foreign objects in the body.  And were they all removed from your body?

L: The bigger pieces were yes.  But when there are so many and some are imbedded way too deep to be able to remove without causing nerve damage, its best to leave them be.  All the pieces that had been dipped in a blood thinner and on one occasion even rat poison, were removed.  So I just get to have a little laugh now when the security has a hard time trying to figure out why I set off the metal detectors today.

The court room rumbles in a low murmur of laughter.  Lexa smile is barely there but still so endearing that Clarke can feel her heart beat spike in her throat.

She bites her lip and looks over at her friends smiling shyly at the butterflies she's getting just by watching her love wrap each juror around her long slender fingers.

Did you ever discuss this experience with Dr. Griffin?

L: No I did not.

CP: How long have you and Ms Griffin been acquainted?

L: Its been a month.

CP: And during this time, did she ever mention that Mr Camacho was suffering from some kind of thinning agent in his blood stream?

Lexa sighs and looks over at Jaha.  She is beyond annoyed.

L: We don't discuss Mr. Camacho.  We don't discuss this case.  We don't discuss ballistics.  Dr. Griffin is the medical expert.  She knows what she's talking about.  If she says there was blood thinner on the bullet, then there was.

CP: Or you convinced her to tesify that way.  You had plenty of opportunity and motive to thrust this idea deep into Dr. Griffin's head!

 The innuendo is not lost on the cop at all.  Lexa is gritting her teeth and her nostrils flair dangerously but she fixes her gaze on Jaha in order to avoid an outburst. 

TJ: Objection your honor!  Ms Woods has made it clear that she and Dr. Griffin do not discuss the case!  

J: Move on Mr Pike.

CP:  How can we take your testimony at face value when you have contradicted yourself? You said you haven't slept with a random stranger for three years and yet you've slept with two random women in the past 4 months?  One that you couldn't even remember! And of course one that you had every reason to use to your advantage in order to carry out this vendetta you have against my client.  Have you or have you not violated the very customs and standards set forth by the Houston Police Department that you yourself referenced when you were trying to get my client fired?

L: No I...Clarke is not...it wasn't like that!

Lexa is now looking over at Clarke frantically trying to make her understand with her eyes and explain herself on the stand at the same time.

CP:  Then what was it like Ms Woods??  You've sworn an oath to tell the truth today.  Just because Dr Griffin is here to witness this does not mean you can just commit perjury.   I'm sure Ms Griffin would also like to know how she can be so different from a woman you slept with just four months ago!  How can you expect this jury to believe anything you say?

L:  I am well aware of my oath!  I know more about oaths than you will ever know even having lived 20 years longer than I have Mr Pike.  I am not committing perjury!  I didn't lie!

Lexa grits out.

CP: I'm sorry correction, you did not RECALL.  Still how are we to know you didn't just sleep with Dr Griffin in order to coerce her into testifying that my client tipped his bullets with a blood thinner?  

Lexa looks away from Clarke finally and fixes Pike with a death glare that pins him to the spot he is currently standing in. 

He has never felt intimidated by any witness but now he swears that this woman is plotting his death right at this moment and could probably own him in 10.5 seconds.  A shiver runs down his spine at the thought before he even knows whats happening.

L: First of all, let me enlighten you.  NO ONE, can convince Dr. Clarke Griffin into thinking or believing ANYTHING.  She makes up her own mind about everything and is pretty stubborn about it too.

Lexa is so angry and sick with disgust that she barely registers the laugh she gets from the jury.  She wasn't in a joking or laughing mood at all.

L:  And second, I didn't lie.  I have not committed perjury here today. As I've said before, it wasn't like that at all.

CP: How is it so different then Ms Woods?  We're supposed to believe that you've grown a consience now just because you say so?  The truth is that Dr. Griffin is no different than Ms Waters or the 40 plus others you have slept with in the past is she?  And now her testimony, her 'medical opinion' is the only evidence the prosecution has against my client.

L:  First of all, your opinion on my sex life or any woman's sex life for that matter is irrelevant.  You seem to keep repeating my past track record over and over again.  But that's what it is....its the past.  I am not ashamed of sleeping with those women.  We were all consenting adults carrying on the way we wanted to in our own privacy which is our right as women and citizens of the United States of America.  The thing I am ashamed of is choosing to do so just to try to forget the tragedies that I have experienced in life.  And I definitely don't regret spending a night with Dr. Clarke Griffin.  Your attempt at shaming me and the way I choose to live my life is only an example of your pure ignorance and narrow patriarchal views. 

CP: An answer to my question would be sufficient Ms Woods.  The jury did not come here to serve today just to hear your irrelevant liberal views.

Lexa laughs.

Clarke is conflicted.  She wants Lexa off the stand.  Pike is clearly attempting to smear them both but she'd much rather have Lexa just answer his question and get off the stand even if she loves every minute of how valiantly she is fighting.  She's making Pike look like a fool.

L: And your bullshit analysis standing here on a soap box is so much better.

Both lawyers yell their objections loudly.  The judge pounds her gavel for what seems like the hundreth time that day.

CP: I'd like an answer to my question your honor!

TJ: I'd like the defense counsel to stop harrassing my witness!

L: SHE'S DIFFERENT!

Lexa yells gruffly.  Loud enough to be heard over both lawyers.

Lexa's voice is more subdued as she attempts to continue.

L: SHe's different because....

The court room once again falls silent.  All the nightmares she has woken from in the past that have been rife with blood and death seem trivial to the nightmare she is currently in right now.

Lexa, the girl that always kept to herself as a child and most of her adult life.  

Lexa, who said the word "pupcake" for two whole years even after she could actually pronounce CUPCAKE correctly.  And when she turned 6 she let the real word slip during her birthday party and she had to explain to her Mother that she had been pretending she still couldn't say 'cupcake' for two years just to continue to make her mom laugh and smother her in love.

Lexa, who couldn't admit to her fiance that some of the dishes she made her were so revolting she was physically sick after having to choke them down.

Lexa, the woman who faked oragasms for years with her ex because she didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Lexa who hates being the center of attention is about to reveal the most significant revelation of her life in front of strangers and the woman who has stolen her heart.

Lexa reaches forward and grabs the glass of water with a trembling hand.  She closes her eyes as she drinks slowly.

She swallows and sets it down then takes a deep breath as she looks up to the high ceiling of the court room trying to compose herself.  But when she looks back down she's anything but composed and she feels tears prick the corners of her eyes.

Her lip trembles delicately and she feels her face heat up but she soldiers on.

L: She...She's different because that night that I went into that room with her she yelled at me.

Clarke chuckles as a few tears begin to form in her eyes.  The rest of the court members chuckle along with her.  Her two best friends still at her side.  Still holding both of her hands.

L: She expected more out of the Houston Police department and was visibly upset that another unarmed young man had been shot.  As a member of the community, she has every right to be disappointed.  I remained professional and left after explaining that the matter was under investigation.  But then we developed a mutual respect for each other while I helped stand watch outside Mr. Camacho's hospital room.  Every professional has to find a way to get along with other professionals from different fields that they have to work with. 

Lexa pauses and clears her throat.  Her eyes are full of tears and she can't see Clarke anymore so she turns to her left where she knows the jury is sitting.

L: And then soon after that I was injured and incapacitated and she helped my sister nurse me back to health.  It was...

The tears fall from Lexa's eyes and she quickly wipes them away.  She looks at Clarke again and discovers that her love is crying and smiling softly at her.

L: It was the kindest thing a friend has ever done for me.  And there was no one else that could've helped.  We spent one night together and we stopped not because I felt like it was wrong like I did with Ms Waters but... quite the opposite actually.  Its different with Clarke because I....

Lexa looks down to gather her strength and then back up at Clarke with an apology shining in her eyes.  This was not how she imagined this would happen at all.  She then looks over at the jury once again.

L: Because I love her.  Because....

Lexa looks over at Clarke once more

L: I'm in love with her.  I'm in love with you.  And I'd rather risk everything to tell you now even though I'm so terrified of saying it, than risk letting you think for one second that I would ever use you to gain ANYTHING.

She quietly says the last part to Clarke and only Clarke even if they're sharing space with at least 50 other people.

The judge has to pound her gavel to get the court room under control once more.

Clarke can no longer stay.  She squeezes her best friends hands and when she stands to leave they stand with her.  Tears are streaming down her face and she can't take sitting there anymore.

The three women quickly walk out of the court room without looking back.

Clarke walks further and further away from Lexa breaking her heart more and more with every step she takes.

Lexa just barely manages to hold it together long enough for Pike to say he has no further questions and she's dismissed.

She speed walks out of the court room and straight out to the parking lot to look for Clarke's Lexus or Raven's hummer or Octavia's vintage jaguar but no car in the parking lot matches those descriptions.

She uselessly pats the front and back of her skirt looking for her phone and remembers that she had to leave it in the court safe along with her weapon.  She runs back inside as best she can in 4 inch heals and quickly finds the court house guards to open the safe for her.

She fumbles around with her phone finally able to turn it on as she speed walks out to the parking lot to her own blacked out charger.

No missed calls.  No waiting text messages.

Lexa:  Clarke I'm sorry.  I nvr wanted it to come out like that.

Lexa:  I'm sorry I'm sorry can we talk?  I need to talk to you.  I need to see you.

Lexa:  Can I come over please?  I just need to explain.  Please and if you

Lexa: Fuck if you don't ever want to see me again I understand.

Clarke: Please. please stop.

Clarke:  I need to think

Clarke: I'll text later if I'm ready to talk or not.

Clarke:  But please just give me time to think

Lexa: Ok

Lexa: I just want u2 kno that getting blind sided by your gorgeous yelling face that day was the best thing that ever happened to me

Clarke is sobbing on the other end of the conversation as she reads the last text and Raven tries to console her without knowing exactly why her best friend is crying.  Are these tears of joy or pain or anger?

"Clarke...Jesus bb, calm down.  This is good isn't it?  I mean she loves you and you love her.  That's great news!"

"She's right Clarkey, what's the matter babe?"  Octavia asks from the driver seat with a concerned expression on her face.  She has never seen Clarke cry this hard since they were kids and the Griffin family dog passed away.

"How do I even know she was telling the truth?  God knows she has a way with words!  What if she just said that because she knew it was the only way to win the jury's favor?"

"That would be a fucking genius tactic."   "Fuck that she was telling the truth."

Octavia and Raven say simultaneously.

Raven scoffs and lightly slaps Octavia on the back of the head.

"Bitch!  You know she was telling the truth.  Hell the whole fucking court room knew it!"

"Raven's right C. You two fell in love.  It was inevitable."  Octavia agrees.

"You're a fucking sap O."  Raven snorts.

                                                                           *******************************

 

Hours pass and night falls.  Lexa has called in to work for the next day knowing that she probably won’t be able to sleep a wink.

Word has spread about what happened on the witness stand and the Captain doesn't hesitate to give her the time off she needs.

"I just need the day..."

"No you take all the time you need.  And avoid social media Lexa.  Trust me, don't even look and it wouldn't be a good idea to post anything at all.  Not even a pic of your fur babies.  You and Dr. Griffin are the number one trend on twitter.  Your confession of love on the witness stand has created a phenomenon that I have been fielding calls about all day long."  Indra hangs the phone up before Lexa can argue or ask questions.  Lexa sighs and rolls her eyes. 

"Great, as if I don't have enough fucking problems to deal with. Fuck fuck fuck..."  Lexa sighs rubbing her tear swollen eyes softly.  She groans at the satisfaction and also the slight pain.  She absolutely hates the aftermath of crying.

She looks down at Pepper Potts.  The huge main coon is resting her head on the top of Lexas foot.

"Such a dog."  Lexa mutters.  "Come on lets get you some food and then I'm running a bath."

After she feeds the cats she starts to fill her claw foot tub with water and tries to ignore how empty she feels. 

She looks over at the toilet and notices that the toilet paper roll is completely unraveled. 

The pile of paper under the brown toilet paper roll cause her to start laughing and then her laugh turns into light sobs and then she's all out crying.

The sobs wrack her body until she has to hold onto the lip of the tub as she falls to her knees.

During the time Clarke was coming over to help out, there were a few minor incidents that had to be addressed. Any person sharing their home with someone else is bound to run into differences in opinion and conflicting customs.  Good and bad habits were quickly revealed and remedied.  Or in this case not remedied at all.

The toilet paper issue was not Lexa's preference but a way to avoid wasting rolls of toilet paper.

She had told Clarke time and time again that when she put a new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser that she HAD to set it in the up position or the cats would unravel it.  She knew her pets and their keen little eyes were always watching and waiting for someone to slip up so they could have an opportunity to have a little fun and get into a little mischief.

Clarke just WOULD NOT LEARN!

Lexa stares at the pile of unraveled toilet paper and swears that she could deal with that every day of her life gladly just to have Clarke.

She could deal with getting less attention from the cats and she could even deal with the way Clarke seemed to always turn every light on in every room she walked through when entering the house.

She would take it all if she could just have her.  The uncertainty is killing her. 

She leans back on her haunches and lightly leans her head on the lip of the tub as she waits for it to fill.  The tears fall slowly and endlessly and then she hears the doorbell ring.

She's up so quick, naked skin covered in condensation from the steam, she almost slips on the wet floor and just catches herself on the opening of the door before she can have a real bad accident.  She manages to scramble her way into her robe and then she's sprinting to the front door.

Clarke hears the commotion and forces herself to calm down.  Lexa opens the door and Clarke's breath catches in her throat.

Lexa's hair is lose and frizzy from the steamy bathroom.  Her eyes are read and her cheeks wet with tears.  The fluffy bathrobe is barely tied to her body and is lopsided in places but Lexa is the most beautiful thing Clarke has ever seen.

"Did you mean it."  Clarke croaks.  "What you said on the witness stand....did you mean that?"

Lexa's mouth opens half way and then shuts again.  She looks confused and concerned and then shocked.

"Well??  Did you mean what you said Lexa??"  Clarke nearly screeches.

"I...I...Of course I did!  I would never fucking say that just to say it Clarke!  I love you!  I love you!  How could you ever think for a second that..."

Clarke doesn't let her finish.  She closes the distance between them and seizes Lexa's lips so forcefully that the breath is stolen right from the cops lungs.  Clarke kisses Lexa for a few seconds and then pulls back.

Lexa is so dazed she barely opens her eyes half way before Clarke mumbles a "Good" against her lips and then starts kissing her again.

Lexa pulls Clarke in and closes the door behind her.  She blindly fumbles with the dead bolt as she continues to kiss Clarke and manages to twist it to the lock position.

And then she really leans into the kiss holding Clarke's face gently and sucking on her tongue lightly.  Clarke moans into her mouth at the sensation and Lexa feels greedy hands finding their way into her robe. 

Lexa whispers another 'I love you' on to Clarke's lips now taking every opportunity to say it since its finally out in the open.

A thought about being naked under a robe flickers in the back of her mind but doesn't register any more than that.  When Clarke's blunt nails dig lightly into her hip she opens her eyes in pleasurable shock and that's when she remembers she left the water running.

"FUCK!  Hold on baby.  Hold on.  The water!"  Is all she offers as she sprints to the bathroom to try to prevent an over spill.  She gets there just before the water spills over the top.  She breathes a sigh of relief and quickly shuts off the water.

She pulls her sleeve up to reach in and pull the stopper out so she could get the water level to an agreeable height.

Clarke appears in the door way and when she sees what Lexa is doing she leans against the door jamb to watch.

"What's in today's bath tub brew?" Clarke asks softly, her voice more scratchy than usual after crying for hours.

"Whiskey."  Lexa deadpans.

Clarke giggles.  "I'm sure you ass.  But seriously, is it the stress reliever one?"

Lexa looks over at the woman she's fallen head over heels for and smiles softly.

"Of course it is.  You want to join me?"  Lexa asks softly, tentatively, afraid Clarke is going to turn her down and disappear any second.

"We've never...together...are you sure?"  Clarke asks timidly.

"Did you really think I never invited you in because I wanted to bathe alone? I just, I wasn't sure we would be able to stick to our rules if we got naked together."

"And now we don't have to worry about rules?" Clarke asks hopefully.

Lexa shakes her head no.  A small smile twitching her lips.

"Ok."  Clarke agrees quietly.  She slowly takes off her band t shirt throwing it on the bathroom floor and then closes the door behind her as she walks in.

Lexa watches in dumb amazement.

Clarke sees Lexa's expression and grins while biting a bit of her tongue with her front teeth.  Lexa's mouth goes dry.

Clarke carefully unhooks her bra and lets it fall at her feet as she continues to walk.  She unbuttons her jeans and pulls them down along with her underwear leaving her clothes in a trail behind her.

"Might want to...uh stick..."  Clarke says as she takes the stopper from Lexa's hand and bends down to reapply it.

"...it back in so we have enough water.  I've been dreaming about being naked in this tub with you for so long and I don't want to waste any of the good stuff."  Once again, Lexa just nods.

Clarke sits on the lip of the tub, legs together and slowly unties the half hazard knot Lexa applied to her robe.  The Dr. examines the body of her lover with both an appreciative loving eye and that of a professional that can easily name every definitive anatomical part because her love is so well defined that she could be a live medical diagram. 

"Fuck....you're so fucking beautiful."  Clarke comments in awe of the marvel at her fingertips.  Lexa kisses her softly caressing the dimple in her chin as she melds their lips together.

When they pull apart they rest their foreheads together.  Lexa bending her head down and Clarke tipping her chin back.

"Let's get in before it gets cold."  Lexa instructs. 

Lexa steps in first and then helps Clarke in guiding her by the hand.  Lexa slowly sits up against one end of the tub opening her legs to make room for Clarke.

She motions for Clarke to sit in the space she's reserved for her but before Clarke can do so she looks down through the water.

The concoction Lexa added to the bath makes the water slightly murky but she can still see Lexa's most intimate body part and her mouth waters in anticipation.

"You two can meet later.  Right now its time for bathing."  Lexa comments catching Clarke's dark blue eyes.

Clarke giggles and then slowly lowers her body into the steaming hot water.  Clarke moans and sighs in satisfaction once her body is completely submerged.

The tub is more than big enough for the both of them and Clarke lowers herself into the water on her stomach so she can face Lexa and lean her head on Lexa's chest.  Her lips lightly touching her pulse point.

Clarke wraps her arms low around Lexa's waist.  

There bodies touching underwater fills their hearts with so much emotion that they are rendered speechless.

Lexa caresses Clarke's side under water with one hand and rests the other on Clarke's back.  Lexa closes her eyes and tries to process how she went from sobbing on her bathroom floor to holding the love of her fucking life in her arms, naked and delicious against her.

They relax into the concoction and then Clarke begins to speak against Lexa's neck.  Quietly, voice shaking.

"I'm sorry I left.  I just couldn't take it with you up there and that asshole fucking with you and everyone in on the most...one of the best moments of my life.  It just didn't feel...."

"Don't explain.  Its ok.  If I didn't have to be sitting up there I would not have been there either.  I wanted that moment to be private and special and perfect because...well because I love you.  I really do and that's what you deserve."  Lexa explains quietly.

Clarke looks up from her spot on Lexa's chest and right into Lexa's eyes.

"Say that again...please."  Clarke pleads.

Lexa smiles softly and gently holds Clarke's face.

"I love you Clarke."  Lexa repeats without hesitation.  Her eyes so full of conviction and her gaze so solid and true that Clarke has to will herself not to cry.

"I love you too Lexa.  I'm so in love with you."  Clarke says as she looks from green eyes to pink lips and back.

"This moment can still be ours."  Lexa says.  "But...you don't have to feel obligated to..."  Lexa asks almost ready to dismiss what she just heard.  Not daring to believe her good fortune for a second in case its all a huge hoax.

"I've never been in love before Lexa and I've never felt like this about anyone before so YES, I'm more than sure.  I knew it the second you touched my hand, I just...didn't even know what love was until...I did.  Until you showed me."  Lexa smiles through tears and they kiss softly and slowly. Their tongues softly flicking against the other.

Lexa pulls away and changes angles and their lips slot together once more like perfect puzzle pieces.

They kiss until Clarke pulls away a little to look at Lexa again.

“What is it?” Clarke asks trying to take in all the gorgeous features of Lexa's face all at once.

"I missed you so much baby.  I was afraid to even imagine this day, when we'd be together again.  I didn't want to jinx it by assuming it would eventually happen."  Lexa admits.  Her throat feels like its closing up against her wind pipe with all the emotion that is overwhelming her.

"I'm here Lexa...right here.  Can you feel me?"  Clarke asks leaning her chest against Lexa so her heart thuds heavily right over Lexa's matching the galloping in her own chest.

Lexa can't speak anymore.  A tear makes its way down her face like a falling star as she nods in affirmation.

"And I'll be here always, for as long as you want me."  Clarke quietly affirms.

"Ok...."  Lexa says as she sighs in relief.  "Now, tell me what's on your mind.  Something is there I know or you wouldn't have that look in your eyes."  Lexa gently prodded.

"I uh…that...that other woman...did you like...really bring her here just to tell her to leave?” Clarke asks almost afraid to hear the answer.

“Yea I uh, it sounds real bad but…I hadn’t had anyone over here yet at the time.  I had just moved in and…it just didn’t feel right and I know when we spoke and I told you I hadn’t had sex in three years….”

“Shhhh, its ok. I understand. You didn’t remember. If you didn’t feel right having her in your bed in your own house then…why...with me.....”

“I feel like you weren’t there today or something.” Lexa laughs. “Like you and your friends weren’t over there giggling and texting during my testimony.”

Clarke’s eyes light up and she inhales sharply in surprise.

“I was not giggling! That was Octavia! And it was Raven’s fault that we were texting at all!” Clarke laughs lightly pinching the skin on Lexa’s sides where she still has her arms around her.

“I said this on the stand Clarke. Under oath but I’ll repeat it because I want to make sure you really get it. It felt right with you. It felt right to have you in my bed and to spend a night with you even if I've been afraid of getting hurt again for so long."

Clarke attacks Lexa’s lips with renewed vigor.

The feeling of Clarke between her legs, her heavy, gorgeous tits resting between them and lightly rubbing on her chest as the slippery water sluices their skin against each other is making Lexa's pussy throb. 

They kiss until the water starts getting luke warm and then stone cold.

"Lets..." Kiss...kiss...kiss... "Lex....let's get out...." kiss "the water..." Kiss...kiss...kiss... "....cold."

"Sorry baby."  Lexa says as she quickly rises out of the tub to fetch them both a towel. 

She helps Clarke out of the tub and wraps a large towel around her rubbing her shoulders and arms and legs over the outside of the towel to help warm her up.  Then she wraps a towel around her own body.

"Come on, I'll get you those pjs of mine you like."  Lexa says as she guides Clarke to the bedroom.  Once there, Lexa makes her way over to her drawers and starts to rummage through them until she feels Clarkes hand close lightly around her wrist.

When Lexa looks up Clarke has dropped her towel and goosebumps adorn her skin.  Her pretty pink nipples are rock hard and erect.

"Fuck..."  Lexa whispers in awe.

Clarke reaches out and grabs both of Lexa's hands.  She flattens warm palms over her own gorgeous full tits and bites her lip at the small moan that comes out of Lexa's throat.

"No need for pjs baby.  Just keep me warm."

When their hot mouths connect, Lexa looses all semblance of control.  Her breathing becomes labored and she wants more.  She wants it all at once.  Everything Clarke has to give and more.

She drops her towel and lifts Clarke's naked body up.  Clarke lets out a shork shriek and giggle but quickly wraps her legs around Lexa's waist.

Lexa carries her to bed and sits her down as she pulls the covers back.

"Get comfortable.  I'm just gonna lock the door."  Lexa says as she makes her way to the door.  

Clarke feels her pussy throb as she watches Lexa's bare ass flex with every step she takes toward the door.  She shakes her head a little to gain her bearings and then laughs when she realizes why Lexa is locking the door.

BOTH doors.  Lexa kneels down and locks the small cat door as well.

Lexa hears Clarke laugh and she smiles to herself.

“No fur babies tonight? I miss them too mom!”  Clarke says transitioning into a kind of baby talk that she and Lexa had begun using when they talk about the cats.  Clarke even speaking FOR them on occasion like a cute little argument she gave once acting as the voice for Pepper Potts trying to convince Lexa to give them more treats.

“Nope, no fur babies tonight or fur babies will take up all the attention and I want you all to myself.”

Clarke’s laugh is lazy but full and Lexa is so in love with her she doesn’t even know what to do.

Lexa walks over and joins Clarke under the covers. They lay on their sides staring at each other quietly in the warm glow of the lights that adorn Lexa’s bed frame.

"Now that you have me all to yourself, let me take care of you.  I want to...I want to give you everything but I want to make sure you're ok with that baby."  Clarke hesitates giving Lexa a chance to consent or otherwise.

“I’ve never really been big on relinquishing control…I…” Lexa begins but is soon cut off by Clarke chuckling.  Lexa’s confused expression is so adorable that Clarke can barely hold back from attacking her lips again.

“I’m sorry baby…I’m sorry…Its just funny because its no secret that you like being in control.” Clarke says before she begins laughing again.

Lexa rolls her eyes good naturedly and waits for Clarke to get it all out.

“Don’t….don’t get me wrong its fucking hot….so fucking hot….the thought of that alone has been making me wet for weeks now. Its this look you get in your eyes.  Its almost dangerous even though I know that you would never hurt me.  Its…fucking incredible.”  Clarke all out moans.  She lightly digs her nails into the small of her lover’s back and Lexa hisses and closes her eyes in pleasure.

“And I’ve also noticed that you love my nails on your skin. Before, when I'd scratch you while you were inside me, it only made you fuck me harder…which I’m not opposed to at all.”  Clarke emphasizes quickly before Lexa can even think for a second that fucking her harder isn’t something good.

As if she needs to come up with some proof of this observation, Clarke digs her nails into the small of Lexa’s back and rakes them all the way down to her waist.  Lexa’s skin breaks out in goosebumps.

“Fuck….Clarke.” Lexa whispers.  Her panting fast and shallow.  Her mouth half open and eye lids half shut.

“I love you baby. I just want to make you feel that.  I want everything and I’ll give you everything in return.  You don’t have to be scared.  I’ll take care of you.”  Clarke assures her in a shaky voice.

Some time in the middle of Clarke’s explaination, Lexa’s eyes filled with tears and as she looks up into Clarke’s eyes they slowly drop onto her face. When Clarke sees this her eyes begin to blur with tears as well.

They both know what this means.  The emotion so thick they can't hold it back anymore.  Tonight they not only will be fullfulling their hearts lustful desires that have been builidng up for weeks, but they will also be making love.  It will be deep and emotional and they are feeling it all at once.

They kiss and its salty with tears and a little wet and a little frantic as well. They change angles and Lexa feels Clarke pulling their bodies together.  When hot skin touches hot skin again they both moan and then Clarke pulls back.

She gently runs her thumb along Lexa’s full bottom lip.

“Can I make love to you baby? Tell me its ok because I want you.  I fucking...I fucking NEED you baby....”  Clarke tries to keep the whining and desperation out of her voice but its useless and then Lexa is nodding her head yes and they are kissing again.

Lexa literally lifts Clarke’s body and crashes it down on top of her own swiftly and Clarke is so shocked that she sharply inhales and then giggles.

Lexa smiles and laughs against her lovers lips but doesn’t stop kissing her.

Clarke slots her legs in between Lexas and begins to frantically grind her thigh into Lexa’s sopping wet center. Both women are so turned on that their moans are almost shouts when they feel the pressure against their hot soaking pussies.

Clarke’s head is thrown back but when she comes back down she doesn’t waste any more time on anything else.

She begins to make her way down Lexa’s gloriously chiseled body. She runs her lips and tongue down every inch of skin like morse code and Lexa whimpers with every touch of lips and tongue.

Clarke runs her palms over Lexa’s stiff nipples and then sucks on them both sloppily and frantically breathing hard and moaning as she goes.

Lexa archs her upper body into Clarke’s mouth encouraging her to continue.

When Clarke finally reaches Lexa’s waist she leaves 3, 4 and then 5 small hickey’s starting from the top of Lexa’s V line to the very bottom where she finally finds what she’s been craving for so long.

Lexa is a trembling whimpering mess and she’s trying to hold still so she doesn’t buck her hips up into Clarke’s face. She’s afraid of hurting Clarke if she bucks up too violently.

Lexa looks down at dark blue eyes and feels nervous and so so in love that she doesn’t know if she wants to cry or moan so she involuntarily starts to do both.

Clarke looks momentarily concerned but then Lexa’s whispering

“Don’t stop…don’t stop Clarke…please baby don’t stop….fuck…” And Clarke is so gone with the way it sounds and the way Lexa is looking at her and she knows nothing will ever be the same again after she crosses this line.

So she jumps right in without hesitation.

Lexa screams in pleasure and arcs her body as Clarke goes straight for her clit and sucks it right into her mouth.

The vibration of the loud moan that Clarke lets out only adds to the orgasmic sensation.

Lexa’s whimpers and moans are so addictive.

Clarke feels like she might not ever want to leave the space between Lexa’s legs.

Clarke has had her fair share of women but Lexa tastes sweet and slightly tangy and clean.  The essense of the lavender and the jasmine and the lotus not just on the surface of Lexa's sensitive pussy but INSIDE her.  From her pores and the nectar that flows from her gorgeous soft petal like labia give Clarke a very fitting thought.

My flower....my gorgeous, soft, delicious flower.

Its absolutely mind numbing.

Clarke is whimpering and moaning everytime she lightly flicks her tongue over Lexa’s clit and then she looks up at her and the sight above drives her absolutely crazy.

Lexa has the sheets bunched up in her hands and she’s looking down at Clarke, body rigid and

THOSE FUCKING ABS

Are 100% contracted making Lexa’s stomach look like a slab of perfectly round stones.

Lexa has her bottom lip in her mouth and her eyebrows are creased in concentration.

Clarke continues slowly rolling her tongue over Lexa's clit and looking in to her dark green eyes.  With her mouth full she can't say the three words that are clanging loudly in her heart over and over again but she hopes that she can convey that through her tongue and her eyes and with her body.

Clarke holds Lexa's eyes and then slowly dips her tongue low to taste the entrance to Lexa's core.  She hardens her tongue and pushes it all the way in until her nose is touching down on Lexa's clit and then Lexa's eyes are rolling back and she's quiet and rigid and she's coming right into Clarke's mouth.

Clarke is very pleasantly shocked but she swallows at least twice and moans when she tastes the flowers and the sweetness and the tang.

The after shockes have Lexa jerking sensitively and when Clarke slowly pulls her tongue out Lexa yelps.

"Fuck!"  Lexa says after the yelp surprises even her.

Clarke just bites her lip and smiles at Lexa still laying between her legs.  Very reluctant to leave.

Lexa's hands are still in the sheets and she's trying to catch her breath.

Clarke begins to kiss her inner thighs and has every intention of going right back to the source of that heavenly nectar but as if Lexa can read her mind, she stops her before she can even begin to make her way back in.

"Come here...I...come here...."  Lexa says trying to pull Clarke up with trembling hands.  Clarke doesn't move right away.  She smirks up at her from between her legs like a Cheshire cat.

"Baby...please...please I want you up here...I need...I just need.....I need ok?"  This time Clarke does laugh.

 "What is it that you need baby?"  Clarke asks innocently.  "Are you ok?"

Lexa scoffs exasperated.  "You look hot down there fucking preening Clarke.  That's ok.  Stay down there."  Lexa insists resting both of her hands behind her head settling in.  Absolutely refusing to give in to what she knows Clarke wants.

“Are you ok baby? Are you sure you’re ok?”

Lexa is out of breath and nodding her head yes.  Her eyes are unfocused and her ears still muffled but she is still not going to give in.

“Lex….baby…all you gotta do is tell me what you want and I'll do it.” Clarke reassures her.

“No."  Lexa counters.

Clarke giggles and rests her head on Lexa's inner thigh.

"O.k....that's ok.  You call the shots baby.  Guess I really will have to get up."  Clarke sighs regretfully. 

She very slowly and very deliberately begins to make her assent but makes sure to allow her warm heavenly tits drag over Lexa's thigh and as she hovers over Lexa's pussy she lines one of her nipples up with Lexa's slit and lets it drag from her slick entrance all the way up to her clit.

Lexa lets out a short barking scream and then she reaches down and yanks Clarke's body up the rest of the way with hands under her arms and unbelievable core strength.

Clarke screams and then laughs and then moans when their bodies crash into each other again.

"I….I just….wanted you to kiss me while you fuck me but you had to be a brat right?”  Lexa says breathlessly against Clarke's lips.  Clarke breaths out a "mhm" and then Lexa is shocking her all over again.

She pushes Clarke's body up into a sitting position moving her around as if she weighs nothing more than a rag doll and puts her strong hands on the outside of both of her tits pushing them together.

She sits up and even in the middle of the hottest and most erotic scene Clarke has been privy to until now, Clarke still doesn't fail to notice Lexa's abs contracting again.

FUCK

Lexa attacks Clarke's tits with her mouth tasting herself on them and sucking so hard Clarke lets out a scream that turns into a growl.

She starts to ride Lexa's abs as her tits are being sucked.  She grinds her hips only twice and she then she's coming.

"Lexa!  Oh fuck...Lexa I'm....fuck I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming baby....Fuck...baby!"

“Mmfuck….” Lexa mumbles against Clarke's tits when she feels the warm wetness slew onto her stomach.

The next agenda pops into Lexa's head and she goes with it immediately, not wanting to waste a second.  She lays back down and pulls Clarke's body up letting her wet pussy drag all across her stomach and then her chest and then her neck until she locks her mouth on her pussy.

Clarke is so out of it and Lexa moves so quickly that she doesn't even have time to process what's happening before Lexa's stiff tongue is making her speak gibberish.

"Mmbaby...mmfuck...Lex..."  Clarke holds onto Lexa's headboard and then begins riding her face.  Its quiet between Clarke's moans and the creaking of the bed along with wet slurps but those noises are driving both women completely insane.

Clarke starts to say things she's never uttered during sex.  She'd like to think its because she's in love with Lexa but she doesn't care and doesn't stop to ponder it.

"That's yours...your pussy baby....fuck...mmmLex....fuck baby....eat it baby...take it...oh god...oh god...oh fuck...Lex...FUCK...BABY...I'm....I'm com...coming....FUCK!"

 Clarke locks up and begins shaking violently above Lexa.  Lexa is having a hard time breathing but knows Clarke is already coming and she doesn't need to hold out much longer.

She doesn't wait for the cum to hit her tongue, she's SUCKING it out of the blonde and this begins to make Clarke literally let out a stream of short growls and screams and Clarke knows she's never even been close to making in her life.  

When Clarke's body finally stops jerking she lifts her body up and makes her way down the bed next to Lexa.

Lexa's face is shining with Clarke's cum and the brunette is trying to lick it all off.  Clarke giggles when she sees Lexa's long talented tongue circling on and over her full lips.

Instead of wiping it for her, she sticks her tongue out and slowly begins to lick Lexa's lips.  Lexa whimpers and squirms with arousal.  Clarke continues to lick her and once she knows Lexa is distracted enough she cups her and finds her sopping wet.  Both women moan loudly and Lexa's breathing begins to quicken.

Clarke begins to kiss her and suck on her tongue.  She can taste herself on Lexa's tongue and her heart seizes in her chest.  She has never felt like she has belonged to someone that loves her inconditionally until this moment.

Lexa’s body grows rigid and the pleasure begins to make her see stars.

Clarke gently rubs Lexa’s clit in a small circular motion that soon has Lexa moving her hips in time with the strokes.

Clarke stares into Lexa’s eyes kissing her and sucking her lips and tongue every once in a while.

“You’re so fucking perfect. So beautiful.  I fucking love you baby.  Fuck…Lexa I love you.  I love you….i love you.”

Lexa grabs Clarke’s forearm and pulls it into her own body to encourage Clarke not to stop. Lexa’s other hand has a hand full of Clarke’s ass.

Clarke follows her instinct and slowly enters Lexa with one finger. Lexa tips her head back into the pillow and moans louder than Clarke has ever heard her moan so far.

Lexa is now bucking her hips into Clarke’s hand and Clarke begins to feel Lexa’s warm walls tightening around her finger.

Clarke adds another finger and this time Lexa grunts even louder. Clarke feels that her fingers are barely fitting and stops her movements immediately not wanting to hurt Lexa.

“Are you ok baby? Want me to stop?”  Clarke asks waiting for Lexa to look down at her.

When Lexa does she shakes her head and then starts to kiss her.

“Don’t stop…” Lexa whispers onto Clarke’s lips.

“Fuck baby don’t stop. You’re fingers…fuck…they’re just so thick…don’t stop.  You feel so fucking good…”

Clarke begins to move again while Lexa is still speaking and then both women are moaning into each other’s mouths.

Clarke begins to feel Lexa’s pussy lubricating her fingers with more and more cum evertime she curls inside her and the loud “Fucks” coming out of Lexa’s mouth are telling her she’s about to come.

Clarke touches her thumb down on Lexa's clit and continues curling her fingers inside of Lexa's extremely tight entrance.

There are tears in Lexa's eyes as she looks into Clarke's eyes and as she comes they fall down the sides of her face and then she goes limp.  She lays back shivering and jerking and then passes out falling victim to Clarke's insanely talented love making technique.

I'm so gonna tease her about this when she comes to, Clarke thinks before cuddling up to her lover and dozing off.


End file.
